The Star Nightingale
by ronrinesu
Summary: After the victory on the Starkiller base Rey comes to Luke Skywalker to become his apprentice and next Jedi. But Luke is afraid of failing again and Kylo Ren is ready to turn all the galaxy upside down to teach the girl and sway her to his side. Is there truly a beast behind the mask? Slow-burn Reylo with full plot and characters. Rated M for the smut.
1. Chapter 1 - Into the Beast's Lair

_**A/N**_ _:_ _ **Hello, my lovely Reylo shippers! I want you to have an adventure with me in the Galaxy Far Far Away. So, firstly, I would like to mention, that it is my first fic ever, but I'll try to do my best. Second, I am not a native English speaker and my language is sooo different from English, that sometimes I want to hug a dictionary and cry :'( Due to this fact I would like to introduce my beloved beta, without whom this fic would never be written –**_ _ **Pangolin Pirate! Praise her, she is a goddess of fanfiction and she really does a huge amount of work =))**_

 _ **Guys, I know that I began to post more rarely than I used to. If you knew how I wait for the chaps to come back to me after the beta-reading... So, let me give you something to make the waiting more bearable. I had a birthday on 7th of September and got a new graphical tablet ;) So now you can find some of my artworks on Tumblr (ronrines) and DeviantArt (ronrinesu). Of course they are on Star Wars (actually, I've drawn only one full artwork during this week, so saying 'they' is a little bit incorrect). I'm looking forward to drawing some illustrations for The Star Nightingale, so, if you enjoyed my story so far - you'll find them both on Tumblr and DeviantArt.**_

* * *

 **Chapter 1. Into The Beast's Lair**

The planet Ahch-To orbited its dim star in an eternal autumn, indifferent to the problems of the Galaxy and its tiny people with their dollish wars. Its day was shorter than night. The latter brought with it a chill that reached the bones of the planet's inhabitants. Gelid ocean waves bit at the shores and blue-green grasses cleaved to the ancient muted rocks.

Rey sat on a cliff and listened to the rhythmic crash of waves against the rock below, while throwing small stones into the churning water. Thoughts drifted, lazy and slow. How many days had passed since she arrived on the island of her dreams? She hadn't counted; her time on Jakku, while scratching the passing of each day into her walls, had passed. Rey listened to the whisper of the ocean and thought of Jakku. She thought of the scratches on the walls of her AT-AT, half-buried in the burning sands of the desert planet. She thought that perhaps a part of her, the real her, lingered in those hot dunes, while someone new and unfamiliar sat on this cliff inside the stolen shell of a girl named Rey, from Jakku. That girl from Jakku seemed so far away and such a long time ago.

A figure emerged from the outcropping of rocks to her back.

Her voice, rough and hoarse, disrupted her tranquility. "Master Luke."

"My child, I've taught you nothing, and may never do so; why then do you call me Master?" His voice sounded calm and peaceful as it always was.

"I don't know."

Rey returned her unfixed gaze to the sky and heard the last Jedi in the Galaxy sighing softly.

 _She arrived on the planet a month ago, passionate and hopeful to become his apprentice. She stood with a plea in her hazel eyes, as she looked so young and full of hope, and holding Anakin's old saber in her shaking hand. "Will you teach me?" she asked, and he sensed the fear of rejection in her voice, but also the Force. It sang its perfect song inside the girl. Stars, what should he do? Reject her and watch the flame of hope die in her eyes, or accept her and see if he would fail again? He had no answer. And so, he answered nothing._

 _Rey was disappointed and confused by the silence that followed her question. She stood with the saber outstretched and waited for his answer, counting the beats of her heart. One. Would he reject her? Two. Even her parents had abandoned her on Jakku. Three. Would she obtain a teacher and father in him, the strange old bearded man with young blue eyes? Four…_

 _"I have no answer for you, child. Come with me."_

 _And she followed, as she had nowhere else to go._

 _When the sun dipped below the horizon, Luke made her a bed in the small hut where he lived. He was a calm man, unwilling to talk, and buried within his own thoughts. He was similar to his silent windy island, Rey thought. After the perpetual buzz of the Resistance base, the silence here was disturbing. She sat on her new bed and curled her bare feet under herself, looking almost peaceful._

 _"Luke." He turned towards her and his brow shifted in a mute question._

 _"Will you teach me?" she asked for the second time._

 _He sighed and a shadow of pain flashed through his bright eyes. "The Force remains silent. I have yet to decide, young one."_

 _"It's Rey."_

 _She gave him her name in an easy and ordinary manner. He looked in her eyes but his face remained unreadable. Names made things more complex: behind a name, there was a personality, and hers sounded foreign inside his head. Now he saw not a simple young girl, but a person, and that left him vulnerable._

 _"I have no answers for you… Rey."_

 _He expected her to become angry or at least frown, but her face stayed still. Oh, my little padawan, you are already learning from me… Although hiding your true self is not the thing I wanted to teach you first._

 _"Then I'll ask you again tomorrow."_

 _He nodded. The fire in the fireplace slowly died and they stayed in the darkness. He began to fall into his usual deep sleep without dreams, until he heard Rey's whisper._

 _"Goodnight, Master Luke."_

 _He felt a sparkle of hope within the background of the dull ache, filling his soul after the deaths of his young padawans._

 _"Goodnight, Rey."_

-x-

A comfortable routine was established on the windy island. They shared meals, while Luke told Rey of the days of the Old Republic. He would leave each day only to return in the evening, bringing new rations and water. They were two people staying together, but they remained lonely. Two days passed in boredom for Rey. Her stomach was full, and her mind felt unoccupied due to the fact that she didn't need to scavenge every day from dawn till dusk simply to survive. On the third day, she discovered a holoreader about the days of Old Republic and the Empire, and it made her stay on the island bearable. After the sun sank beyond the horizon on the seventh night and she had eaten in the usual silence with Luke, Rey lay awake gazing at the stars. The familiar face of Han Solo came into her mind and she tried to brush the thought away. However, the memory of the old man didn't fade. What would he say if he saw her now, stuck on this forgotten planet while somewhere her friends fought for their lives, or were maybe already dead? " _Hey, kid_ ," he would say. " _Old man is as mute as a fish? C'mon, don't let him knock you out of the saddle. He's just building himself up. Give him some time, will you? He'll teach you all those girlish dances with those glowing sticks you like so much. Just remember, that hokey religion and those antique weapons are no replacement for a good blaster at your side_." Thinking about Han hurt, but she couldn't hold back a chuckle. He seemed so alive in her head. Rey then thought about Finn and wondered if he was alright. She had left D'Qar without saying a proper goodbye to her dear friend, while he was lying inside the bacta reservoir, unconscious and unmoving.

Kylo Ren. All thoughts lead to him.

When she thought of Han Solo, her memories of him were marred with an image of Kylo Ren murdering him on Starkiller Base. When she thought of Finn, the feeling of friendly attachment was marred with a picture of Kylo Ren as he slashed her friend's back with his lightsaber. She thought of Leia and saw the pain inflicted by Kylo Ren inside of her sad eyes. She thought of Luke and saw Kylo Ren's betrayal behind his reservedness.

Rey felt a wave of hatred passing through her body. She tossed and turned, trying to dislodge Ren from her thoughts, but he stood there, tall and menacing in his black attire and mask, holding a cracking saber, desecrating everything she loved. It took some time before the image of the monster faded, until she fell into a troubled slumber exhausted by the agonizing thoughts of her enemy.

-x-

She stood inside a room made of steel and glass. It was as sterile and dull as a medical bay. But, instead of bacta reservoirs and medical droids, the room held a simple double bed, a table with some holoreaders stacked neatly on its surface, a simple chair and a chest of drawers. She looked out of the window that ran the length of the wall. She didn't recognize the stars in the night sky. Confusion and a small amount of fear began to rise in her stomach. She was on some sort of station drifting in space.

 _Where am I?_

She looked around the room, hoping to find any clue to her location. It seemed like a room belonging to a soldier, but not a common soldier, an officer. However, the lack of luxury made the guessing of the rank impossible. She investigated the table first – no photos or personal effects adorned its surface to enlighten her. It was strange. During her short stay with the Resistance, she had learned that every soldier kept a picture of their loved ones with them. It was a sort of superstitious tradition, as if the smiling men, women and children on the pictures could soften the cruelty of war. This room seemed unlived in. Rey tried to open a drawer next, but was shocked when her hand fazed straight through it.

 _What the…?_

She examined her hand. It appeared normal and fleshy. What strange technology. Rey turned and surveyed the table once more. She shook her head in surprise, and recoiled in shock. She knew whose quarters she was in. _On the side on the table, not visible at first sight, was a long angry burn that marred its surface._

Before she could begin to panic, the doors hissed open and a familiar tall cloaked figure appeared at the entrance. She immediately jumped backwards, searching for something sharp to defend herself. The man entered the room as if she wasn't there.

 _What… the… hell?_

The doors hissed again and closed behind his back. He lifted his gloved hands and Rey heard a click as the mask was released and lifted from his face, revealing the familiar dark eyes of her mortal enemy which looked through her devoid of expression.

 _Ren_.

He sighed and put the mask on the drawer near the bed. He seemed… tired? She already knew that there was no beast behind the mask, but again his youth distracted her. How could he be so young and handsome and yet be a cold-blooded murderer? She stood near the table, mesmerized.

He went back towards the door and called for a droid.

"I will have my meal in my quarters. You're dismissed." The droid beeped and answered in a robotic voice. "As you wish, Lord Ren", and disappeared behind the doors.

"You…" Rey tried to put as much venom as she could into her phrase. "Am I " _your guest_ " again? Where am I? How did you find me?" Her voice trembled from suppressed rage. She stood defensively, tense as loaded spring, clenching her fists and ready to fight for her life with bare hands, if it came to that. If it was possible, Rey would kill him with her gaze full of hatred. But he walked past her towards the wall with another pair of doors and pressed a button. The doors parted and revealed a small wardrobe with clothing hanging on tabs. He stood before the opened doors within arm's reach from Rey and she could observe his profile. His pose seemed relaxed and face calm.

"Hey! I am talking to you!" Rey added in a louder voice, perplexed by his lack of reaction. Ren ignored all her calls and movements, as if she did not exist.

He took some clothes from the wardrobe, threw them onto the bed and began to undress. It startled Rey, but she had nowhere to go, so she stayed and watched the infamous Kylo Ren getting ready for the night. Ray watched with morbid curiosity as he pulled off his gloves, revealing long slender hands, unwrapped his arms and kicked off his boots. He began to shrug off his black tunic and her face suddenly felt hot. _What am I doing?_ She turned away from him, giving him privacy.

The doors hissed again, the droid had returned with a tray. She shyly followed the droid with her eyes and found Kylo Ren had changed into a black short sleeved tunic and long trousers. He dismissed the droid and sat at the table.

He ate slowly and looked to be deep in thought as she watched him. She was surprised by how normal he seemed. Kylo Ren, the Dark Prince of the First Order simply sat at the table and ate food in the comfortable silence of his room. Of course she knew that he was a living human being and had the need to sustain his body, but watching him in the simple act of eating was something ridiculous. Rey caught herself thinking that he seemed so… human. Gone were the black gloved hands of the bloody monster: there remained only a young man's palms and long fingers. She saw how pink his nails were and how the skin of his palms were calloused and rough. She noted the healing burn on his wrist and examined his face: he hadn't shaved in some days, and there was a slight bristle on his jaw. She looked at the dark circles under his eyes and thought that he was probably very, very tired.

And then she saw it. The scar on the left side of his face.

Ray felt disappointment with how thin and white it was. She intended to mark him as the monster he truly was, but the scar hadn't made him less human. A strange feeling developed inside her head. Without thought, she stretched out her hand and tried to touch the scar.

…Her fingers met his face, and he recoiled, looked directly into her eyes in utter shock, as if he was seeing her as clearly as she could see him. His lips parted as if he wanted to say something, but no sound escaped them.

 _She broke into thousands of sparkling pieces and fell into the darkness._

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 _ **A/N: Phew… the beginning is always pretty challenging! Please, let me know, what you think of the work (Master Yoda whispers into your ear: Click the review button, you must… And to write a short review you need…)**_


	2. Chapter 2 - Rebirth of the Jedi Master

_**A/N: Enjoy the second chapter!;)**_

* * *

 **Chapter 2. Rebirth of The Jedi Master**

Rey awoke with a feral scream. And a moment later a startled Luke rushed into the room from the adjoining kitchen. She was breathing heavily and checked herself in haste.

"What happened?" asked Luke.

"I am whole, I am whole, _I am whole_ …" she muttered and exhaled in relief. Luke looked at her with marked concern. She tried to force a false smile.

"It was only a nightmare, jaded nerves. Nothing to worry about!"

Luke still looked concerned and disbelieving. _Should I tell him of the dream?_ Rey considered, but she decided to keep the dream to herself.

"I'm okay, just a bad dream ."

Luke sighed and withdrew. That had not been "just a bad dream". He sensed the Force boiling inside the girl and saw the darkness swirling in the ocean of light. The darkness had always been there, but it seemed to have grown from yesterday, as though a small amount of it had spawned from some outside source.

He had never questioned Rey about the circumstances surrounding her acquaintance with Chewie and his sister, and had never asked for the story of how his father's lightsaber had come to be in her possession. Rey was simply there, and he accepted her at face value – a young girl without a home, lonely deep inside. She had never told him of her past. Perhaps she was unaccustomed with another person's presence, or perhaps she did not trust him enough to tell. He knew that she would talk when the time came. Luke only kept the girl warm, fed and safe, nothing more. Personal stories created the sense of attachment. _And there was no attachment permitted, only serenity_.

However, a week came to pass and Luke found himself attached to Rey despite the absence of learning her past. She was not very talkative, and he had become taciturn in his years of isolation. It suited them both. But the cheerful young Luke Skywalker remained deep inside the old man's soul, and that part of him became more pronounced as the days drew by. He didn't want to hope, and tried to dissolve himself in serenity – but hoped, nevertheless. And the sight of Rey's rare smile or laugh made him feel alive.

She was looking into his blue eyes with uncertainty. They both were afraid of attachments, because they knew that people always went away. But they both were strong. The question was: were they strong enough to trust each other? A would-be father and would-be daughter remained seated in the small room in awkward silence.

Luke got to his feet and went to the door of the hut. Rey watched, with a strange sadness building in her chest. He had always left and returned each day, but this time it seemed like a farewell. _Stupid girl_. _He isn't going to train you_. She shook the errant thought away, inhaled and straightened herself. Nothing could break her; she remained a strong desert flower from Jakku.

Luke stopped at the doorway, his back to her. She lowered her gaze, unwilling to see him go, but as her eyes met the floor he spoke.

"When I return, ask me again."

-x-

Luke sat on the ground in meditation. The ocean breeze touched his tanned face and ruffled his grey hair. He hadn't meditated in a long time and hadn't seen his mentors in the Force for even longer. They all had abandoned him after his failed Academy, and after he broke inside from seeing the lifeless bodies of his students.

He inhaled and exhaled, lost in the Force. It didn't boil within him, like it did inside of Rey, but flowed calmly like a mercury river. He was here and everywhere, and he could reach the stars with his will and travel through space in the form of a pure soul. Near him, he could sense the whirlpool of Force within Rey. He sensed Leia in her grief. She sensed _him_ also, and shyly reached out to him with her will. He sensed the looming dark presence in the Force, which was Snoke. Somewhere out there he sensed the dark cracking and unstable presence of his nephew among the sparkles of Force-sensitive people in the Galaxy, who lived their lives unaware of their gift. And so, Luke dissolved himself in the Force, like sugar in warm water.

He felt a light touch against his forehead.

" _My last padawan_."

"Master Yoda…"

" _Strong with the force, you are. But weak, your soul has become. Guidance you crave. See not the answer inside yourself, hmmm_?"

"Should I teach her? Strong is the pull of the Darkness within her. I am afraid of failing her, Master, as I failed Ben. What would become of her if she was lost to the Dark Side?"

" _For you to decide, it is not. Lost in your self-loathing, you are. Led her to you, the Force has. Redemption it offers._."

Luke opened his eyes and watched the familiar small glowing figure of his master. He closed his eyes again and felt the soft pull of the Force Bond, which can only be established between Master and Padawan. Even death could not severe it. Master Yoda smiled and stroked his padawan's grey head.

"… _Welcome back, young Skywalker._ "

And then he was gone.

-x-

Rey waited for Luke in nervous excitement. She paced across the small room, unable to sit still. When he finally returned, she noticed that he had changed. Gone was the old tired man, replaced by a Jedi Master who watched her from below his hood. His pace was more confident and strong and his back was straight, as if all the years of pain were gone.

"Come." He said and offered his human hand to her. Rey went to him and allowed herself to be led her to a chair near the small table. "Sit down." She obeyed and Luke stepped behind her. She stared forward, not knowing what she was supposed to do.

She felt his hands as they began to gently undo the three buns, which she wore as a reminder of her Jakku origins. Soft chestnut curls fell onto her back. She sat silent, afraid to ruin the moment, which felt sacred. He separated a small portion of her hair from behind her right ear and wove it together with his skillful fingers. A long tiny braid fell below her collarbone, feeling like a feather. Then he carefully redid her three buns.

"Ask me again." His voice was calm and soothing.

Rey hesitated.

"Don't be afraid."

"Will you teach me, Master Luke?"

Rey turned around to look him in the eyes. He smiled and his eyes shone as if he were young again. He nodded towards a piece of polished metal fixed above the table, which Rey frequently used as a mirror. She examined her reflection.

"That is a Padawan's braid. You will wear it until it is time for you to begin your independent path through the labyrinth of the Force. It will be a sad moment, because we will cease being Master and apprentice. It will be a happy moment, because we will become equals. Until then, you'll wear it as a sign of your pupilage." he said.

She sat in silence, studying her reflection before her lips parted and she asked in a suddenly husky voice:

"Will you really teach me the ways of the Force?"

He sensed so many questions behind the one. _Will you guide me, Teacher? Will you care for me? Am I worthy?_

"Yes, Rey, I will teach you. Stand up, my apprentice; it is time to begin your training."

The answer was Y _es, I will guide you and care for you. I will not betray or abandon you. You are worthy_.

Tears fell down Rey's eyes, but she did not sob and Luke felt her hugging him.

 _Thank you, Master._

 _Thank you, my young padawan._

He felt alive again _._

-x-

They spent the day together, practicing introductory exercises using the Force. Luke taught while Rey listened and tried to accomplish his requests. They started with the levitation of small objects, and soon, she understood that her success in battle with Ren had been a combination of will of the Force and stress.

Actually, it was a miracle. Hadn't he been badly injured, she would be dead. Although sometimes, at night, when she once again mentally went through their combat, she thought that his wound was not the single reason of her survival. Something was wrong. He could have pushed her from the cliff or stabbed her with his cracking lightsaber, but he hadn't done so. He defended himself and pleaded to be her teacher. And for a moment in which Rey looked past his dangerous dark eyes, she saw longing deep inside his wretched soul. But she forbade herself to pity him, because hating him was right. Kylo Ren murdered Han Solo, his own father, a man she had begun to see as her own father figure, and whose murder she could not forget or forgive. Last night's dream didn't make things easier. She felt confused and childish, because she had seen Kylo Ren as a human. This, she could not unsee and hate him again as strongly as before.

The training was a blissful distraction from those troublesome thoughts. She absorbed knowledge like a sponge. Rey never thought that the levitation of small stones could be so exhausting. How difficult would it be when they begin sparring?

"Imagine that your mind is an extension of your hand and reach for the stone. Try to hold it in place. With practice you'll learn to levitate things without thinking of your hand." Luke stood on the opposite side of the glade near their hut with a small stone levitating above his palm. Rey licked her cracked lips and tried to reach the stone with her mind. Luke dropped his hand and the stone fell to the grass. He did not show any sign of displeasure and raised his palm again. The small stone jumped from the ground and froze on the spot above his hand.

"Again. Concentrate, clear your mind. There is only you and the stone, no me, no other things. Remember – only you and the stone."

Rey was angry and tired. She stretched her hand towards the damn stone and tried to reach it with all her might. She felt something dark leaving her fingers and flooded towards the stone.

"Do not use your anger and passion as a fuel. It is easier and faster, but it will burn you inside. You will need stronger and stronger emotions, and in the end, you will find yourself a murderer, because there is no stronger emotion than the feeling of taking someone's life. That is how the Dark Side draws their power from the Force. Jedi use their inner peace instead. Clear your thoughts. Open your mind to the Force. We all are its children; we cannot subdue it to our will. Do not try to use it, just channel it. Repeat after me."

And Rey closed her eyes and repeated with Luke. " _There is no emotion, there is peace. There is no ignorance, there is knowledge. There is no passion, there is serenity. There is no chaos, there is harmony. There is no death, there is the Force_." She felt her anger reside and her mind empty. Her fingers, which were previously tense and curled like claws began to straighten and soften. She repeated the mantra again. Her eyes remained closed and for a moment she thought that she heard a discordant chorus of low voices, repeating the mantra together with her.

Some time ago Luke had dropped his hand and stood with his arms folded and hands buried inside of his sleeves. Rey was holding the stone alone, and he smiled, listening to the perfect song of the Light flowing from her towards the stone. She opened her eyes and stared at the stone with awe. It levitated in the air and she looked to Luke and saw his smile. Rey caught herself on the thought that she hadn't seen his smile the whole week they've stayed together. And she smiled back shyly and then more confident, watching the small stone rotating near her Master's shoulder.

She felt so exhausted by the end of the day that she collapsed onto her bed without changing out of her training clothes and immediately fell asleep.

-x-

"Mommy, please, don't go."

"I need to go, sweetheart. People have chosen me as their Senator, so I need to transmit their will."

Rey stood in a large room with the balcony door which hung open, allowing sunlight and a gentle breeze move its curtains. A woman in a beautiful green dress knelt before a little boy. Her long hair was collected in a complicated updo at the top of her head, decorated with beads and small metal plates. Several men dressed in official attire stood in the doorway and waited patiently for the end of her conversation.

"Do they need you more than _we_ do?"

The beautiful woman sighed and hugged the boy.

"My boy, this is only a temporary diplomatic mission. I'll return very soon. You'll never get a chance to miss me."

One of the men in the doorway gently coughed to draw attention.

"I am sorry, Senator, but the shuttle is waiting."

The beautiful woman sighed again.

"I'll be there in a moment, wait for me outside."

The men bowed slightly and disappeared behind the doors.

"Look, sweetheart, you need to stay strong. You are the head of our family while I'm away. Be brave and when I return, we'll spend time together."

The boy stood tense, clenching his fists.

The woman ascended and began to move off towards the door. Rey stood near the boy and watched his mother go. The time seemed to flow in slow motion, as her figure blurred and became fuzzy.

"Do you love us, Mommy?" Rey heard the boy's whisper. Rey noticed the movement behind the curtains and suddenly saw a little girl of the boy's age, following the woman with the same longing gaze as the boy. The siblings shared similar features, but the hair of the girl was darker and her eyes were brown, opposed to the blue of her brother's. A sudden stroke of recognition flew through Rey's mind.

"Do you love me, Mommy?"

The whisper erupted into cry and the room shattered. The room did not change, but the people inside had. In silent shock, Rey watched a younger Senator Leia Organa walking away from a crying dark-haired boy, sitting on the floor on his knees.

" _Do you love me?_ "

* * *

 _ **A/N: My heart broke at the end of this chapter, truly. I don't think that Leia didn't love her son, but I see her as a woman of honor and duty, so she couldn't have had much time for family. Of course, you recognized Luke and Leia in those siblings and Padme as their mother. Therefore, some thoughts about Force visions: they are widely used in many fanfics I read, but most of the time with regard to certain past or future. But the difference between scene of Kylo Ren appearance in the forest on Starkiller from TFA (all those "We're not done yet" – Rey sees Kylo Ren barefaced and without his hood) and the Force vision of Rey (where she saw Ren as hooded figure) brought me to the thought: What if the Force visions show a possibility? It is rather clear about future, but can the Force show the other versions of already occurred events?**_

 _ **What do you think of it? Please, tell me in comments, I would like to read.**_

 _ **P.S. Didn't I mention that Pangolin Pirate is my amazing beta?;)**_


	3. Chapter 3 - The Bond

_**A/N: Hey, my little Reylo lovers! I am sending you my greetings from the country of snow, vodka and bears and present you a new chapter (my beta is back). There comes the bad guy ;) He is hot, but very, very bad.**_

 ** _Before you read the chap: we're going a little bit non-canon. In the film the First Order already knows that the Resistance is somewhere in the Ileenium system and recharges the Starkiller to destroy it. But dream a little bit with me and let's suppose that they doesn't know where's the Resistance. Or the Ileenium system is so big that they need to search it for a long time to find the Resistance. Or thay think that the Resistance relocated. Whatever. That's essential for the plot and I hope that you'll forgive me for going a lil' bit AU_** ** _;)_**

* * *

 **Chapter 3. The Bond**

Kylo Ren stood in front of the large window inside his quarters, his arms folded across his chest and his face bare with concentration. Although the space outside the _Finalizer_ was dark and unfriendly as it should be, it was morning according to the ship's schedule. His thoughts were revolving around the same thing as it had been during the last weeks. _The girl_.

Things had become complicated since his failure on the Starkiller Base. Ren remembered himself lying in the crimson snow and waiting for the end. He didn't mind dying in a battle with honor, but if General Hux haven't come for him on the shuttle, Kylo Ren would have been slain by the hand of an ordinary _scavenger_. He bristled at the thought and bit his lip, suppressing the rage that began to boil within him. Memories of floating inside a bacta tank, weak and helpless as a kitten, hallucinating in fever, always seeing the raged face of _the girl_ before his eyes, assaulted him. He was young and strong, and the First Order didn't stint when it came to medical equipment, so he was on his feet in a week and nothing betrayed his wounds hadn't fully healed. He wore the mask everywhere and no one on the ship, except General Hux, had seen the scar that split his face, which he wore as a sign of his failure.

The pride of Ren was wounded far deeper than his body. He needed to find _the girl_. At first, when the humiliation of his defeat was fresh, he wanted to break and defeat her. But time went by and soon Ren found that hatred was not the only thing he felt towards the girl. He was… _curious_? She came from nowhere holding a power, strong enough to defeat him, a trained force-user. _What a perfect material._ He spent long nights awake reconsidering what he wanted to do with the _scavenger_. And finally, he understood that defeating the girl was not the point. He desperately wanted to teach her. Finally, he met an equal and the thought of wasting such a powerful Force sensitive to all those Light games of _compassion_ and _serenity_ was unbearable. The girl was strong and destined for greatness. Of course, for greatness by his side, as his apprentice.

He never enjoyed torturing or executioning: there was no power or glory in them and so he did only what was necessary. But the battles were always inspiring. Soldiers fought against soldiers and all the participants understood the rules of the game, which were to kill or to be killed. In a battle, Kylo Ren could lower the restraints and bathe in the power of the Dark Side. He fought for what he thought was right and his Knights of Ren stayed by his side. There had always been the possibility to be killed, but he loved it, for in a galaxy where dog ate dog, everyone had a chance to die on any given day. To him, it was a fair deal.

But battles meant nothing to him now. All that mattered was the girl, and so, he became obsessed.

His thoughts were interrupted with the beeping of the droid.

"Supreme Leader requests the presence of Lord Ren in the holographic chamber."

Ren shuddered, put his mask back on and followed the droid out of his quarters. His heavy steps echoed in the empty corridors of the Finalizer. Every Stormtrooper and officer knew that it was safer to stay away from the figure in black. He noticed the familiar sour figure with ginger hair belonging to his eternal rival for Snoke's attention beside the entrance to the holographic chamber.

"Lord Ren, how are your wounds today?"

Kylo Ren reservedly nodded. "General Hux."

Every time he'd encountered Hux after the Starkiller battle, he sensed scorn in every of the ginger man's sentences. The General was deliberately suave in speech, but his watery colored eyes harboured the mock. " _I've seen you defeated and weak_ ," The eyes said. " _I've seen you lying and waiting for death. I've saved your life and now you owe me_." Ren knew that that was the truth, and this thought made him want to destroy something. They both failed the Supreme Leader on the Starkiller, but Hux was a mere pawn while Kylo Ren was a Force user and therefore, his transgression was greater. And now, he owed his life to the ginger brat and Hux relished the opportunity to remind him at every occasion.

They entered the room and both bowed before the enormous hologram of Supreme Leader Snoke.

"General Hux." The voice of the Supreme Leader was powerful. "What progress has been made in locating the Resistance base?"

"Supreme Leader, we have reliable information from Takodana. There are reports of the location of the Resistance, and we have managed to identify several potential star systems within the Outer Rim that look promising. "

"Good, General Hux, send troops to those locations. Finding the Resistance is essential for our further progress. Have there been any changes in our resources for the continued needs of the First Order?"

"No, Supreme Leader. The slavery bases of the Sujimis sector are functioning. Our alliance with Karazak Slavers Cooperative proves itself to be sufficient. After the revelation of fuel deposits on the Karazak, their business blooms with the approval of the First Order."

"Good, General Hux. You prove yourself worthy of the trust I put in you."

"I only serve the First Order in my greatest capacity." Hux bowed and shoot a triumphant gaze to Kylo Ren.

 _Peacock_. Kylo Ren narrowed his eyes behind the safety of the mask.

"Leave us, General. I need to have a private conversation with Lord Ren."

Hux bowed again and disappeared behind the doors of the chamber.

Kylo Ren knelt before the figure of Snoke.

"Master."

He held his breath and waited humbly. Snoke had not spoken with his apprentice since his failure on Starkiller Base. _What would Snoke do with him now_? The Supreme Leader was unpredictable. He could punish and torture him for his failure. He could show him mercy and speak to him, as a father would to a misbehaved child. Kylo Ren clenched his teeth and prepared himself for the worst.

"Calm down, my apprentice. I am not angry with you. Stand up, remove your mask and speak openly with your Master."

Ren obeyed the order. He stood before the figure, clutching the mask.

"I see that something bothers you, my apprentice. Unburden yourself, share your troubles. Do you not trust me as before?"

"I felt a disturbance in the Force. The girl has united with Skywalker and now becomes stronger with each passing day. She is wasting her power for the Light. I sensed the call of Darkness within her and it was strong. What should I do, Master? I need your guidance."

"There is something that you are not telling me, Kylo Ren. Show your Master all your thoughts. Open your mind to me, my apprentice, I will see for myself."

Kylo Ren closed his eyes and diminished his mind's defenses. He immediately sensed the dark presence of his Master inside his head. Mind probing with Snoke was painful, but bearable. He exhaled and relaxed, opening his mind completely to the Supreme Leader.

" _I see the pull of Light is strong within you. I see the girl inside your thoughts and I see her imprint on your Force signature. Do not resist me, show me what bothers you_." He heard Snoke's voice inside of his head.

The memory of one particular evening flew before Ren's eyes.

 _He returned from a late council on the questions of First Order resource supplies, and he was tired and bored. There was nothing special about the evening. He came to his quarters, changed and began to have his evening meal. He sat at the table, deep in his thoughts and then…_

 _For a moment, he sensed a touch on his scarred cheek, light as a feather, and he could swear that he saw the blurred face of the girl. He sensed the disturbance in the Force and felt as if some of his inner Darkness was sapped away to be replaced with something new. The sensation lasted for a split second and then disappeared. He was alone in his room again. Later, he decided that it was the consequence of over-fatigue and the feeling had been a figment of his ill imagination._

"Interesting." The voice of Supreme Leader Snoke, usually flat, revealed a trace of excitement. "My-my, what a very unusual bond between you and that scavenger girl. We could use it for our benefit."

"I don't understand, Master."

"What do you know about Force Bonds, Ren?"

"I know that a Force Bond is established between two Force-sensitive people, who are close to each other. It could be established between Master and his apprentice, between two lovers or between relatives. Anyway, I do not understand how it refers to me and this girl."

"Your failure with her mind probing created the bond. You thrust into her mind and she pushed back. It created the corridor of energy between you, but the process was aborted. A part of her light remained inside you and a part of your darkness remained inside her. Your darkness isn't whole anymore: now, it calls to its missing part in the girl. And her light calls to you. You are like the opposite poles of a magnet, pulled to each other. The Force gave her a vision of you and you sensed her presence in the Force because of the connection you share."

"What should I do with that?"

"As you know, the Force Bond cannot be severed. But we do not need to severe it, we will use it. Find the girl through the Bond, infect her with your darkness. Teach her, if it's your wish, and strengthen the bond through becoming her Master. Show her the power of the Dark Side, show her passion. Give her the sense of belonging she desires. There is already conflict within her soul, a crack. When the crack becomes wide enough, you will bring the girl to me, and we will break her."

"She hates me. How can I convince her to train under my guidance?"

"Nothing works better than a good threat. She has attachments within the Resistance. This is a good reason for you to combine your efforts with Hux in finding the base. If the First Order has the coordinates of the Resistance, you have your toy."

"Supreme Leader, I'll do what is necessary to bring the girl to the Dark Side." He bowed before Snoke.

"I am counting on you, Kylo Ren. Do not fail me again.."

The door closed behind the tall black figure of Ren. He rushed along the corridor with his fists clenched and his mind agitated. Finally, he had the order from Snoke, and for the first time, he used her name in his thoughts. Before she had always been " _the girl_ ", but now, things had become too personal.

 _I am coming for you, Rey. Run very, very quickly, little Jedi._

-x-

"Master Luke, we need to talk."

Rey and Luke were sitting at the small table in their hut, finishing their evening meal after another long day of training. A week had passed since they'd became Master and Padawan. Every day brought them a little closer to each other.

"I am always listening, Rey. What do you need to talk about?"

"Why haven't you ever asked me who I am? I arrived out of nowhere and you accepted me and cared for me without any inquiries."

"That's a fair question." He stroke his beard broodingly. "At first I didn't ask about you because I was afraid that I would become attached to you. I didn't know if you would stay or leave, so I decided not knowing would be the best choice." Rey nodded, understanding. She remembered her time on Jakku and her encounter with BB-8, which turned her whole life upside down. She also tried to leave the droid as soon as possible, in order not to create any attachments.

"But then I accepted the fact that the time for hiding and self-loathing was over and that I needed to face my demons. I began to teach you and decided that you would tell me about yourself when the time came. Everyone has a past, you know; and if you ask me, what lessons I've learned during my long life, the first one would be "do not judge people by their past". I saw good men turn villains and I saw redemption of the cruelest murderers." His gaze became distant for a moment and then he continued, "So, I decided to wait for you to talk. If the time for your story never came I would not think of you any worse. We all have our insecurities and traumas, my young Padawan."

Rey paused for a moment, tossed her head with determination and asked:

"Will you listen to my story now, Teacher?"

"Yes, child, I will."

And so, she told him everything about her life on Jakku, about waiting for her family and scavenging for food, about scratches on the walls of her AT-AT and learning to pilot on the old simulator. She told him about her acquaintance with Finn, Han Solo and Chewie, about Kylo Ren's interrogation and about Han's death. Rey summarized her life with dry eyes, feeling relief as she confessed it all. She told Luke about the battle with Ren in the forest on Starkiller Base, about his suggestion to teach her and his defeat, and about finding her closest friend laying on the snow wounded and unconscious. She told him of Leia's grief for Han and of the pain in her eyes, which seemed to grow after his death.

Luke listened to her story in silence. When she finished, he stood up and came closer to her chair.

"Come here," he said. Rey stood up hesitantly, not knowing what he wanted from her. But he hugged her, and they stood a few moments without saying anything: words were not needed.

"You know that I am proud of you, Rey?" Luke's voice sounded soothing and calm. "Despite all the pain you've experienced during your short life, you stayed within the Light. What does not kill us makes us stronger, and all your hardships made you yourself. Remember my words, child, and in your weakest moment, you will find your strength inside of your beautiful soul."

"That is not all that I need to say to you, Master."

They parted and sat at the table again.

"I had some strange dreams from the time of my arrival here. One of them was about you and Leia. And… Ben."

The birth name of Kylo Ren sounded weird on her tongue, but she couldn't name the crying little boy she saw in her dream with the name of the murderer. She shortly told Luke the content of her dream. He tipped back in his chair and rubbed his forehead in concern.

"The Force sends you visions. The past and the future are nothing but possibilities, so it gave you a " _what if_ " variant of the past. Neither myself or Leia have known our mother. She died in labor. Somebody said that she'd lost her will to live after losing our father to the Dark Side. She was a politician and a senator. You've seen the past in which my mother lived. This dream is sad, but it's nothing more than a dream. The question is: why has the Force chosen to show you the childhood of Ben?"

"Is it the past which truly happened? Is it the moment when he broke?"

Luke rubbed his forehead again, now looking ashamed. "I need to confess that I didn't meddle in Leia and Han's family that deeply after the end of the war. We all had so many things to do - I was busy with organizing the new Jedi Order, and Leia became a Senator for the New Republic. Besides that, I was close friends with Leia, but we never established a true "family" relationship - we met as adults. I saw Ben once or twice before he came to my academy - he was a troubled boy, but nothing special. I am sure that Leia and Han loved him, but was their family happy? I do not know. I had so many younglings under my wing, so I simply had no time to bother with Ben. And I have yet to forgive myself for it. Maybe if we all paid more attention to the boy and not to our duties, we would not be hidden here in the middle of a new war. Or maybe we would... but Ben would be by our side in it."

Rey bit her lip and began to pry paint from the old table.

"You know… I saw him recently in a dream. The day you started teaching me. It was surely a dream, but it felt very real. He was in his quarters on some spaceship. There was nothing special in that dream, Re...Ben did absolutely common things - he walked, he ate…" She hesitated and decided not to mention watching him changing. "It felt as if I was standing near him and I saw him as I see you now. His face was marked with a scar, so this occurred after our fight on the Starkiller Base. But when I tried to touch him…" She paused again, but continued. "When I touched his scar he looked directly in my eyes, and by the next moment, it was all over. I woke up screaming and you know the rest."

"Stars… that's not good." Luke looked concerned. "If he had not sensed you, I would consider this dream as another Force vision. But now… I have a presumption, but to check it, we must do something which is not pleasant."

"What… thing?" Rey felt her mouth becoming dry.

"Some mind probing. In the Jedi way, of course. I would like to study your Force signature more closely."

Rey felt a wave of anger and disgust passing through her mind. She remembered Kylo Ren's mind probing and felt nauseous. But knowing that Luke would not ask if it were not necessary, she harnessed all her willpower and nodded.

"Do it."

"I will be careful," promised Luke and placed his hand over Rey's forehead.

She closed her eyes, expecting the feeling of wild thrusting into her mind, which she had experienced with Ren. But the pain never came. Instead she felt a slight cool brush of Luke's silver energy on her forehead and then the sensation was gone.

Rey opened her eyes and studied the expression of Luke's face.

"That felt better than I expected." She tried to make a joke, but it hang in the air.

Luke sighed and withdrew, looking troubled.

"What do you know about Force Bonds, padawan?"

"Nothing, Master."

"The Force Bond is established between two Force-sensitive people, who are close to each other. It could be established between Master and his apprentice, between two lovers or between relatives."

"I understand. But how does that relate to myself and Kylo Ren?"

"After mind probing a Force Bond between you and him was established. I don't know why it occurred, but it occurred. I sense his imprint on your Force signature."

Rey immediately felt contaminated and dirty. She lept to her feet and began to pace across the room.

"How do we severe it?"

"We can't, Rey. The Force Bond you both created will stay with you until you become one with the Force again. It can strengthen or weaken, but it will stay with you."

Rey's world began to crumble. She was angry and scared, like a cornered animal.

"I need air." She whispered chokingly and rushed out of the room.

An hour passed. Luke found her on the same cliff as he had before, throwing stones into the water. She didn't turn her head, but he knew that she sensed him. He stood for some moments in silence, listening to the crash of the waves.

"He spoils all the things that I love." Her voice sounded empty. "He took Han and Finn from me. Now he is taking you."

"But I stand with you now, alive."

"You know what I mean. It is dangerous for you to train me now. I am contaminated. I can't be a Jedi anymore."

She heard a sigh from behind.

"My-my, Rey. You're so young and speedy in making conclusions. I can share with you a second lesson, I've learned. Will you listen to your old Master?"

Finally, she turned her face to him. Her eyes were red but dry, sparkling like two hazel diamonds.

He sat on the cliff beside her, took a small stone into his hand and threw it into the waves. The stone splashed and disappeared in the depth.

"Being related to the bad guy doesn't make you the bad guy." He paused and added. "And vice versa. Look at me - you call me Master of the Jedi. But besides being a Jedi, I am also the son of Darth Vader. Same for Leia: she is a fighter for freedom, but at the same time, she is the daughter of Darth Vader. Look at Ben - we all claim he's villain. But at the same time, he is the son of two war heroes." He put a hand on her shoulder reassuringly. "I won't stop teaching you. I will teach you to defend your thoughts and memories from Ben. The Force does not make mistakes. If it connected both of you together - it is for a reason. I don't know, will Ben pull you to the Dark Side, or will you pull him to the Light. The only thing I know is that from now until then, I'll remain your mentor until the day the Force decides differently."

He sensed her warm palm on his own hand and felt a tiny stream of gratitude flowing through the Bond, which had only begun to establish between the Master and his apprentice.

Somewhere far away, among cold, unfamiliar stars, Kylo Ren opened his eyes from meditation.

 _She knows. The game has begun._

* * *

 _ **A/N: Hux is an asshole ;) But I love this ginger brat. Looks like Rey and Kylo Ren both know of their connection. But who will use it first and how?**_

 _ **And Master Luke… I am in love with you, great Jedi Master. Someone needs to have some common sense in this Galaxy.**_

 _ **If you enjoyed the chapter, don't be like Hux, give me a review!**_


	4. Chapter 4 - Old Friends, Old Enemies

_**A/N: From now and then I'll post chapters at least one time a week ;)**_

 _ **My beloved Pangolin Pirate is now writing her own novel and is not able to beta me anymore (which doesn't call off the fact that she's an amazing beta and I'll miss her). Now Darth Retailation is travelling with me in the Galaxy Far Far Away and she is my best co-pilot in this adventure.**_

 _ **Hold on, guys, the bad boy makes his move!**_

* * *

 **Chapter 4. Old Friends, Old Enemies**

Days flew by rapidly now that Luke and Rey were occupied with training. There was much to learn. Rey quickly learned how to move more complicated objects with the Force, and they soon moved to mental defense and meditation, which Rey practiced in the evening.

After a month passed and she got used to her Force abilities, Master Luke begun to teach her lightsaber combat. At times, they sparred for hours, at first using her staff and a training saber, which Luke, after some persuasion from her part, explained that it was a remnant from his academy. "I don't know why I took it with me to Ahch-To," Luke said while they sat on the ground, breathing heavily after their sparring. "Maybe, back then, I already knew deep inside that I would have another pupil." Later on, they begun to use lightsabers, but Rey struggled with the elegant design of a classic saber after the comfort of her staff. Her fighting style was raw and inexperienced, focused on simply trying to reach and wound her opponent. But sometimes, among clumsy lunges and defenses, she could manage a successful series of blows, which seemed dangerous and unfamiliar to her, and earned her strange glances from her teacher. But Luke didn't say anything about those strange forms, so they continued to spar every day.

-x-

It was an ordinary training day: Rey was standing with her staff in a defensive position, when she heard the roar of the engines and the sky burst, revealing the familiar shape of the Millennium Falcon.

"Chewie!" Rey cried and rushed to the ship, which descended and softly landed on the flat surface near the glade Rey and Luke used for training. The ramp hissed open and Chewbacca left the ship, pinning her into a hug. She was so happy to see her furry friend she did not notice a familiar figure which appeared behind Chewie's back.

"FINN! Oh Force, Finn, you're alive!" She left Chewie and hugged a laughing Finn. "I was so worried about you! I was afraid you'll never walk again or even never open your eyes!" Her voice sounded muffled by the material of his flight jacket. Chewie rolled his eyes, dispensing a pretended accusative roar and headed to a smiling Luke, "Long time no see, old friend." They hugged.

"Rey, you'll break my ribs and I'll spend another week in the medical bay I became so used to," Finn mocked. He looked into her eyes. "And you know, the Millennium Falcon still needs to be piloted by two, so Chewie won't forgive you. Now, let me see you." He withdrawn and went around her in pretended concern, "Obviously, this Jedi hasn't been feeding you properly - you've become thin as a stick."

"Listen to yourself, you sound like an old lady, " Rey smiled. 'How do you feel?"

"As good as you can feel having several metal scraps inside your spine. At first, my back hurt like hell, but I didn't want to stay laying in the bacta tank like a piece of meat, so now, I'm learning to fly. Of course, I've already succeeded as eminent gunner, you know," He made a playful bow, "But unfortunately there is no space for two inside of the X-wing fighter, so I need to manage both."

"Oh, Finn, I am so proud of you!" Rey's eyes sparkled with joy.

"Won't you introduce me to your teacher?" Finn winked. "Actually, I didn't come to see you, but to meet him."

"Shut up, you..." She made a false angry face and slapped him with her palm. He laughed and rose his hands defensively. "Okay, okay, just kidding!.."

They both went to Luke and Chewie, who were chatting.

"Luke, this is my best friend Finn I told you so much about." said Rey.

Finn looked embarrassed, but pleased.

"It is my pleasure to meet you, Master Skywalker." He didn't know if it would be proper to shake hands with a legend, so, after some moments of hesitation, he bowed deeply.

There was silence for a moment and then Rey and Luke burst into laughter. Even Chewie uttered a roar of laugh.

"What? I tried to be polite!" Finn looked even more embarrassed than before.

"Tell me, Rey, are all your friends so… ahem… polite?" muttered Luke through the laughter.

"No, Finn is… special," She wiped tears of laughter from her face.

"Call me Luke," Luke stepped forward and shook Finn's hand. "You know, I am not some kind of priest or royal figure, so no need to be so... polite. And I can't bite with my hand." He turned and headed towards the hut, "Come on, Rey, I think it's time to have a break in our training. It's no good talking here on the wind and it's getting dark. Let's drink something warm inside the house."

"Your old man is cool," Finn whispered into Rey's ear while they were walking towards the hut. She lightly prodded his ribs with her elbow and winked. "Yeah, he's cool."

-x-

They sat round the small table, drinking hot beverages made from dried leaves of some local plants Luke usually made for Rey during chilly evenings. She became used to it during her stay on the island. She never drank hot drinks on Jakku, where the evenings were as hot as the days.

"The evening is starting to feel cozy, but I need to get straight down to business," Finn sighed and looked at Rey and Luke. His face became serious and stiff. "I arrived here not only as your friend, Rey, but also as envoy of General Organa. The Resistance needs both of you." He noticed that Rey opened her mouth to protest and Finn raised his hand, motioning her to let him finish. "I know that you spent here only a little more than a month and couldn't finish your training so fast, but people need Luke and you. The victory on Starkiller was a success, but we've lost many fighters. And the war is not over. The First Order is dangerous even without their superweapon. They have armies of stormtroopers, resources and credits. The Resistance has just recovered from the battle on Starkiller Base and the First Order has already occupied several star systems, enslaved their population and gained new resourceful planets. We won the battle, Rey, but we're losing the war. The Galaxy needs you, Jedi. People need hope."

Rey looked at Luke, who remained silent, looking into the flames of the fireplace. Then he stood up and beckoned Rey with his mechanical hand. "Excuse us both. I need to have a talk with my padawan." Rey also stood up and dragged herself towards the door, trying not to look into Finn's and Chewie's eyes. She knew that this talk was not going to be good. _Will Luke ever join the Resistance?_ She was afraid to answer herself. She may have become his new pupil, but the pain from losing his younglings never completely disappeared from his blue eyes.

They stood on the rocky cliff she became used to, and Rey watched Luke's face, trying to catch a clue to his thoughts. Wind coming from the ocean was blowing, waving his cloak and hair. She stood beside him, waiting for him to speak first.

"What do you think of your friend's speech?" He asked.

Rey was surprised that he decided to ask for her opinion. She expected him to decline Finn's proposition immediately.

"I think it might work," She answered honestly.

He turned towards her and raised his brow, "Go on."

"It is not necessary to train here, right? The place doesn't matter. If we were with the Resistance, we could train on D'Qar and also be helpful. I am a good mechanic and you're a Jedi. I know this is personal, but Leia needs you beside her. She was alone for too long and nobody deserves to be abandoned by people they love." Rey looked into the ocean almost desperately, expecting Luke confute her shaky argumentation. He was old, and tired of wars and loss. He found peace for his wounded soul in the solitude of his island. She was an untrained padawan, only beginning her path with the Force. Going to the Resistance was dangerous.

"So be it."

Rey was stunned by his answer and looked at him with wide eyes.

"I knew that the time will come, but I expected it to come much later. I know that it is time to stand beside Leia in this war, as we stood beside each other in the previous. The boy is right - people need hope. You're right, too - the place doesn't matter for me anymore. It doesn't matter for you, too - this planet doesn't have answers you seek. Neither does it for me. And I know that these answers are essential for you to understand who you are."

"What about the island? What about… The Jedi Temple?"

Luke smiled at her warmly. "Who told you about the Temple?"

"Han Solo did."

"My old friend always believed in fairytales, such as Princesses and Jedi Knights. And never could keep a still tongue in his head."

But Rey already knew her teacher too well not to notice a shadow of a smile which he hid in his beard.

"You've found it, didn't you?"

He didn't answer.

"Will you show it to me?"

"When the time comes, you'll hear its song within the Force. It's not a place which you can find - it finds those who crave for answers. The Temple is within the Force, not within the island nor the planet. It can open its doors for you somewhere else, because the place doesn't matter. All that matters is the right time."

Rey chewed her lip in thought and decided to focus on the good news in her head.

"So, I can come to Finn and tell that we're coming with them?"

Luke chuckled, but soon his face became serious.

"Yes, you can, impatient one. But before you'll start a party in our house, I have one condition for you to go back to the Resistance."

"Which one?"

"No flights. You can work as a mechanic on the base, but not as a pilot. I don't want to lose you to some stray blaster shot, you understand?"

Rey sighed. She would miss the flights.

"Understood, Master Luke."

"Good. We will leave tomorrow morning. Chewie and Finn can spend the night in the Millennium Falcon."

Rey nodded, turned from the cliff and began to walk down towards the house. She desperately tried not to run and shout from the joy. She was going to see her friends.

Luke stayed on the cliff, gazing into the ocean and the sun almost below the horizon. His self-imprisonment was over. He closed his eyes, relishing the sense of the evening breeze on his face and heard the wind bringing the shadow of familiar whisper to his ears.

"... _Welcome back, young Skywalker_ …"

-x-

Poe Dameron woke up and realized that the worst nightmare he had for the past months came true. He was once again attached to the horrible interrogation chair and, in front of him, in the lamps' dim light, stood the familiar dark figure. Poe groaned and closed his eyes, hoping that the nightmare would stay a nightmare and have him wake up in the Resistance base instead. But a forgotten memory came to his mind:

 _It was the usual attack on the First Order's fuel bases, but this time on the planet Karazak. The war could be boring sometimes - one moment, you had the fight, and the rest of the time was simply flying like a thief in the night and throwing some bombs on strategically important objects before returning quickly._

 _"Black Wing to Black Leader, the rig derrick is straight ahead. No civilians noticed. Approve the bombs release."_

 _"Black Leader to Black Wing, bomb release approved."_

 _Poe tipped back in his pilot seat and sighed with relief. It seemed that everything was clear. They flew as soundless as ghosts._

 _"...ALARM! ALARM! Black Wing to Black Leader! TIE-fighters to the west! TIE-fighters to the west!"_

The rest of the memory was blurred. They didn't manage. There were too many TIE-fighters for one X-wing pilot. They were waiting for them on the Kazarak Base and the Black Squadron flew directly into the trap. All of his squadron was, likely, already dead. Poe licked his cracked lips and prepared to sell his life dearly.

"Long time no see. Who talks first this time?"

But his enemy wasn't predisposed for joking. Kylo Ren raised his hand and thrust into his mind without ceremonies. He moved inside like a knife through butter, searching for the Resistance coordinates. Poe felt as if his head was about to burst like a bubble. He bit his lip, trying not to scream. The veins on his forehead pulsated and the sound of blood pumping in his ears drove him crazy. But suddenly, the pain diminished and the unbearable thrusting stopped. The memory of Rey flashed in front of Poe's shut eyes. They hadn't known each other for a long time, but the disaster that happened to Finn brought them closer. They had spent some time together on the base until her departure to Ahch-To. More images of Rey flashed before his eyes.

 _Rey sits beside Finn and holds his hand in grief. Rey repairs something, laying under the X-wing. Rey smiles. Rey talks to General Organa_.

Poe felt perplexed. Why had his enemy stopped searching for the essential information about the Resistance, and decided to watch Rey? It made no sense. As if Ren felt his thoughts, the thrusting into Poe's mind resumed. At the edge of his flickering consciousness, Poe Dameron heard the mechanical voice of Kylo Ren telling somebody "We have what we needed". The stars finally showed him mercy and he blacked out from pain and exhaustion.

General Hux, to whom the Ren's words were addressed, rubbed his hands in agitation.

"I will immediately prepare the attack on the Resistance. We will cut them all down like banthas."

"No," Kylo Ren's voice trembled with unexplainable emotion. He stood with his back to Hux, clenching his fists.

"What? You say NO? Do you want them to relocate as soon as they know about the capture of their pilot and the whole squadron? By the way, I do not understand why we didn't simply execute them, since they take too much space and food. We need to strike as soon as possible. Or maybe you want to save your _mother_ , Ren?" Hux spat the word _mother_ as if it was a curse. He immediately found himself flying across the room and crashed against the wall. Kylo Ren stood with his arm stretched and panted heavily. He came to Hux and grabbed his collar. His mask came very close to Hux's nose, and the General felt a treacherous bead of perspiration running down his forehead.

"Don't you _dare_ doubt my loyalty to the First Order," Kylo Ren hissed into Hux's face, "I wouldn't have tolerated your presence during this month only for you to destroy my plans. I can choke you to death this very minute and watch the life leaving your stupid body, so don't you dare cross my path!"

He released Hux and rushed from the interrogation room, leaving the General on the floor pale and coughing.

-x-

Luke Skywalker opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling. He saw that dream again. He first saw it the night after Rey beat him with a strong blow of his father's lightsaber. He then sensed a slight aura of darkness emanating from her. The next moment everything was as before, though. Rey looked at him in her usual manner, clutching the handle a bit clumsily. Luke closed his eye and tried to remember the dream.

 _He is standing in the battlefield with his green lightsaber ignited. It is dark and the rain drizzles. The tall figure in a mask stands before him, cloaked in black. An ignited cross-type red saber cracks and sparkes. Seven cloaked figures in masks stay beside their Master, holding their weapons. The field is silent and only the rustle of rain disturbs it. The air feels tense, as if it is able to burst any moment. Luke hears the familiar whoosh of an igniting lightsaber and a small hooded figure, cloaked in bloody crimson attire, appears from behind the frame of his nephew, holding a double-bladed lightsaber with a long handle between two blades._

 _"Rey! Rey, don't do that! Come with me, Rey!" Luke hears his own voice, trembling in pain._

 _The small figure comes to Kylo Ren and stands by his side. The rain becomes stronger and a loud roll of thunder is reverberating in Luke's ears. The figure begins to remove the hood from its face. Luke sees the face of the girl. It seems normal, although a little bit pale. She wears her three buns at the back of her head. Her padawan braid is gone. She stands in front of him, her eyes closed, and that moment of silence feels like ages._

 _And then she opens her eyes. They are yellow, marked with blood-red around her irises, and glowing on her pale face. A Jedi is looking into the eyes of a Sith._

 _"No, Rey," Luke hears his own whisper. His nephew lays his hand on girl's waist in possessive manner. A cackle of Emperor Palpatine fills Luke's head._

 _"NOOOOOOOO!" Luke hears his own desperate cry and the darkness envelopes him._

He got up from his bed and came to the girl's bedside. She slept soundly, looking so very young and innocent. _Who are you, Rey?_ Luke tucked in her blanket, walked to the kitchen and poured some water into a glass. The horizon was already painted red. It was that time in the morning where the sky was already blue but the sun was still invisible. Luke stood and watched the silhouette of the Millennium Falcon at the opposite side of the small field. In the dim light, the ship looked as a sleepy ravenous bird, devouring its last minutes of slumber before the morning hunt. He remembered the vision of the Knights of Ren Rey had described to him during their talks. _Which version of the future will become the present?_ _Or will neither of them happen?_ The ways of the Force weren't clear for him anymore.

-x-

The flight on the Millennium Falcon was exciting. Finn was immediately knocked out of the pilot's chair as Rey enthusiastically buried herself in the world of levers and buttons. Luke and Finn played Dejarik all the time during the travel and Finn suspected that the Jedi was cheating with the professionality of a street market grifter. They jumped into hyperspace a few hours after their departure from Ahch-To and were soon moving towards D'Qar.

They were greeted by the forested surface of the planet as they dropped from hyperspace and flew toward it with ease. The greenery soothed Rey's eyes. Chewie roared and headed the ship towards the surface. Rey noticed a crowd. People were craning their necks, watching the Falcon. Her heart began to pound faster when she noticed the familiar tiny figure of General Organa.

"Wow, looks like the whole Resistance gathered to say hello to the Jedi!" She heard Finn's voice from behind. "Rey, I'm envious of you."

Rey felt her mouth running dry. She looked at Luke with a plea. _What should she say to all these people? She was a simple scavenger girl from Jakku and they greeted her as if she was a hero_. Luke sensed her turmoil and laid a hand on her shoulder reassuringly. She felt a snatch of his thought through their bond, " _Just stay yourself_. "

The Falcon landed and it was time to go out of the ship.

She stepped out of the ship and immediately understood that there was no need for words. Everybody was silent, but everyone had a need to touch her, to hug her, to tap her shoulder or back. They brought hope to the Resistance. The eyes of the people were shining from joy, familiar faces smiled and nodded to her. She felt a weight of responsibility on her shoulders.

"My girl," Leia hugged her.

"Leia…" Rey whispered and felt tears coming to her eyes.

"Thank you for coming here. And for Luke," She heard General's voice muffled by her shoulder. Rey withdrew and smiled through the tears of happiness. She sensed her teacher from behind and stood aside, giving the twins an opportunity to greet.

"Luke…" Leia hugged her brother. "I was desperate to find you."

"I know, Leia, I know. I am sorry for everything. For not being beside you. For abandoning you all alone. For Han."

"Don't be sorry. I understand."

"I know you do."

The crowd began to disperse and Rey decided to leave Luke and Leia on their own. They were talking about something in low voices, holding hands, so she turned away to give them some privacy. She noticed Finn waving his hand to somebody and saw a pretty ginger girl approaching him. Rey heard him asking:

"Hey, Jenny, where is Poe?"

"You crossed each other on the way. The Black Squadron flew on a mission this morning."

"Oh, so we can't expect him to return earlier than tomorrow."

"Finn!" Rey called her friend. He turned and waved to her. "Wait for me!" She approached him and they walked towards the base, "If I don't find a bed I'll collapse right here. I was piloting the Falcon for the whole day," she groaned.

Finn laughed, "You greedy girl. You should have asked Luke or me to replace you."

"Oh, c'mon, old lady, will you give me a lecture or simply show me my bed?" Rey made a face.

They walked through some corridors of the base and stopped before one of the doors.

"Here are the free quarters. Goodnight, sleepy." He stopped on the threshold in hesitation, as if he wanted to say something. She watched him with a puzzled look.

"What's up, buddy?"

An unreadable expression passed through Finn's face and the next moment he was himself again.

"Nothing. Just happy to see you here, with us. You know... I missed you. Have a good nap." And he rushed away from the room.

Rey decided not to pay attention to Finn's strange behavior and began studying her room. It was small and simple - a bed, a chair, a mirror, a bedside table and a door to the small shower room. Nothing extra. She undressed and climbed into her small bed. She smiled to herself before letting the slumber capture her. _She was home_.

-x-

 _...Rey… Rey... Come to me…_

She was drifting in the sea of shadows and stars. Everything was mixed and blurry, but she felt no fear. She was flying in pure nothingness.

 _...Rey…_

She saw the dark silhouette becoming closer with each moment. She sensed her feelings coming back to her. She was still flying. The nothingness stirred, mumbled in thousand of voices and became dark. She saw unfamiliar star systems flying somewhere on the edge of her vision. The dark silhouette became a man, sitting cross-legged, his eyes closed and breath even. His figure was hovering in nothingness parallel to her body.

She recognised her enemy. _Ren_. The man was sitting like a dark statue. He was not wearing either his mask nor his usual black cloak. He sat barefaced and his wild black curls were falling on his forehead. He seemed to be deep in meditation. _It is just a dream. She sees him in a dream and he doesn't see her_. _If she tries, she would wake up from this dream_ …

"Don't." Rey saw Kylo Ren opening his eyes. "If I've established the connection, it's not to have it aborted by your will."

 _He… established the connection?_

"I know that you know about our Force Bond. Don't try to answer me: you are too inexperienced with the Force to talk here. I can only sense your feelings and thoughts," He stated coldly, "I know that you hate me. But despite that, I'm offering you once again to teach you." His eyes shone dangerously at the words. "In fact, I already am. Didn't you sense your new saber fighting style? All those blows and defenses you didn't know before. You also made a present for me - I could never fight properly with a staff, it felt barbaric in my hands. But now I can at least beat the training droid. Our Bond becomes stronger. We're destined for each other. I'll offer you greatness by my side. Your personal feelings for me don't matter."

 _Never_.

"I expected the refusal. Let me show you something that can persuade you."

He waved his hand and Rey saw the interrogation room and a familiar face laying on the interrogation chair. _Poe Dameron_. The picture changed and she saw people in Resistance uniforms behind metal bars. Some of them were wounded and bleeding, some lay on the floor unconscious. _Black Squadron_.

"Oh, I feel your doubt. I captured your Resistance friends while they were trying to blow up our fuel base on Karazak. If you refuse to be my pupil, those people will be dead by the next dusk. And their blood will be on your hands, little Jedi."

Rey heard the voice of Ren inside her head. Suddenly, the picture of captured Resistance fighters was gone and they were again all alone in the sea of shadows. She expected him to chuckle, to praise himself but he remained serious. He shrugged his shoulders at her thought and seemed to become angry. "I know that it's easier for you to think of me as a monster, but I am not, and you know it. They came for our resources and were captured. I found no pleasure in torturing the pilot, so don't expect me to chuckle like a villain from some low-grade holonovel you've seen somewhere on the junkyard you call your home planet." He raised his hand and a small fragment of the Star Map appeared above his bare palm. "If the blood of your Resistance friends isn't a strong enough reason for you, then look here." She looked at the pulsating red spot on the map fragment and felt as if her thoughts were frozen. "I have the coordinates of your base, padawan. I know that you are there, with Luke Skywalker, your traitor friend and General Organa." His face remained still, but shook slightly when he mentioned his mother, "If you don't come to me, I'll blow up the Resistance base with all the people inside. You are surrounded by several Stormtrooper squadrons, waiting for my order. I will kill all the people you seem to be so keen on and capture you. Your choice is not very advantageous - either you'll become my pupil by your own free will or you'll become my prisoner, watching your friends die."

 _What if I agree to become your pupil?_

"I offer you a fair deal: you become my student, and I recall the squadrons and give the Resistance a chance to relocate. I will even set free your friends, captured on Karazak, as a sign of my noble intentions."

 _How do I know that you are not lying, Kylo Ren?_

"I give you the word of the Knight of Ren. If you don't believe my word, sense my intentions, I am opened for you here, on our Force Bond."

She reached him with her mind. He seemed sincere.

"You have until the end of the night on D'Qar. In the morning, I'll begin to execute the hostages. Don't do anything silly. Their lives are in your hands. My personal shuttle will wait for you in the Toblain sector. It shouldn't take more than a few hours to reach it on X-wing. Come there alone. I will be waiting for you till morning. If you'll warn the Resistance, I will sense it immediately and give the order to begin the attack on D'Qar." He stopped speaking for a moment and then continued, looking directly inside her soul. "I hope you'll make the right choice."

-x-

Rey opened her eyes and stared at the ceiling of her small room. She knew this was not a dream. The choice was obvious - in fact there was no other choice left. She began to put on her clothes in haste, tears running down her face. She couldn't let all those people die for her. Her sight fell upon the lightsaber. She ignited the blue blade and stood before the mirror, clutching her padawan's braid. She was a traitor now, and not a future Jedi anymore. Rey carried the saber towards the braid. One final cut and she would stop being Luke's padawan.

 _No_.

Rey disabled the lightsaber and threw the braid onto her back. If Kylo Ren wanted to teach her - so be it. But she would remain loyal to the Light, even while being Ren's apprentice.

She grabbed her staff, opened the door and disappeared into the base's darkness.

* * *

 _ **A/N: Looks like somebody is in trouble. Run, Little Red Riding Hood, run to the Bad Wolf faster or the Brave Hunter will die young (and I like this guy).**_

 _ **Kylo Ren can be persuasive, huh?**_


	5. Chapter 5 - A Fair Deal

_**A/N: Hey, good people of the funfiction!**_

 _ **A spaceship of Ronrinesu and Darth Retailation flies in the hyperspace faster than the light itself!**_

 _ **Hold on to your seats, kittens, or better fasten your seatbelts, because 'dat babies will rock the Galaxy!**_

* * *

 **Chapter 5. A Fair Deal**

The stolen X-wing was heading towards the Toblain sector with all the power it could manage. The sector was clear of planets; the closest planet, Shadda-Bi-Boran and its three moons, was previously destroyed by its own star's explosion, leaving behind dead space filled with tiny fragments of the swampy planet and unnamed asteroids, floating in nothingness. Rey had to confess that the Boran sector was a perfect place for out-of-the-public-eye meetings; nobody knew exactly how many pieces of star debris were floating there. If she left the X-wing on one of these asteroids, nobody would ever find it.

Her locator beeped and displayed a set of coordinates that she hastily inserted into the main computer. Kylo Ren was sending her a signal about his whereabouts. _How cautious_. She noticed her autopilot was heading towards a rocky asteroid, with nothing except rocks and debris on its surface. Behind one of the rocks, she caught a glimpse of metal. It was a black Upsilon-class command shuttle. With its sharp wings lifted upwards, the elegant shuttle almost blended into the rocks surrounding it. It seemed rather big compared to her small fighter. On the back of the shuttle, she noticed a temporary bridging gate for her X-wing. She sighed and pushed the wheel downwards. It was time to face her new teacher.

Rey landed the X-wing near the bridging gate and a sphere-shaped roof closed above it. Rey heard the sound of incoming oxygen. _Here we go_. She tried to cheer herself up, but her hands were shaking intensively and she found it difficult to unbuckle the seatbelt. She was going directly into the hands of her worst enemy. Rey exited the X-wing, straightened her back and lifted her chin, taking several deep breaths. She wouldn't give him the satisfaction of seeing her fear. She gulped and watched the door opening before her. Rey entered the shuttle and the huge door moved upwards and the black machine consumed her as a snake consumes its prey.

Rey walked along the compartments of the shuttle, which seemed strangely empty. When she entered the pilot house, at first, in the dim light of lamps she didn't notice anyone, due to the fact that chairs for pilots were equipped with high backs. But the next moment she heard a voice that couldn't belong to anyone besides the Master of Ren himself.

"Can you pilot the shuttle?"

She didn't answer at first, startled by the sound of his voice disturbing the silence. It sounded human.

The chair of the main pilot turned around and his dark eyes studied her from head to toe. He was sitting on the chair unmasked, though his hands were gloved, as usual. He seemed relaxed; something Rey wasn't expecting. With his fingers interlaced and laid across his stomach and his ridiculously long legs crossed and stretched out, he was studying her with a cold expression on his face, mirroring the expression of his mask, which rested beside him on the control panel.

"Hey, scavenger, I am talking to you. Have you lost your tongue?" He enquired.

"No… I mean yes. I can pilot it," Her voice sounded hoarse.

"Good. It is not very convenient to pilot such a big ship alone," He pointed the chair next to him. _Co-pilot_. "Sit and help me with taking off."

She reluctantly sat into the black leathered chair and watched him as he began to turn dials and press various buttons. It was weird seeing him pilot a spaceship on his own. She never could imagine him doing that.

"Your thoughts are too loud. Will you help me with the ship or you prefer staring at me?"

He was looking at her with a slightly bad tempered expression.

She shook her head and began to prepare the discarding of the bridging gate. _He was the son of Han Solo. No wonder that he probably learned to pilot earlier than he learned to walk._ She involuntarily smiled at the thought despite her depressed mood.

The shuttle spread its wings and took off from the surface of the unnamed asteroid, leaving Rey's X-wing and the bridging gate behind. Ren inserted unfamiliar coordinates in the computer and switched on the hyperdrive. Rey tipped back in her chair and asked:

"Aren't I supposed to be your prisoner?"

"No."

His answer was short and abrupt. She decided to try again.

"Why didn't you lock me somewhere on the ship?"

He turned his head towards her now seemingly surprised by her question.

"What for? You came here by your own free will. I still have the hostages, waiting for the execution. Besides that, even if I had none, we had a deal. You were trained as a Jedi," he spat the word with a trace of hatred, "And the Jedi don't break their promises."

"I didn't promise you anything."

"Yes, you did. The very moment you came here you promised to be my apprentice in exchange for the lives of those useless Resistance scum."

Rey knew he was right. He still had Poe and the others, and until he set them free, she couldn't escape. He also knew the coordinates of the base, which meant she couldn't escape until the Resistance changed the location. As for her promise - he may consider her a Jedi, but she would try to escape the very minute she knows her friends are safe. _Damn all those Jedi rules_.

"Where are we going?"

"To the _Finalizer_."

"When will you free the prisoners?"

"When we arrive there."

"And…"

"I never knew having a pupil meant answering dozens of stupid questions."

She stopped speaking abruptly and stood up from the chair, feeling all the fear and anger she suppressed bursting forth. She clenched her fists and began to speak through her teeth in low voice.

"You know, I am a living person, not your toy, and if I stay with you, I need to know what happens to me in the near future. You made me leave all the people I love and you threatened me with the lives of my friends. You made me betray my teacher, and now I am flying with the person I _hate_ towards the enemies I'll be forced to live with. If you say that I am not a prisoner here, then I demand answers for my _dozens of stupid questions_. But if you don't want to talk to me, I assume that I _am_ a prisoner here and I'll sentence myself to confinement. The co-pilot is not necessary while travelling in hyperspace."

She shook her head, grabbed the staff and headed towards the quarters. The door hissed behind her back and for a moment she thought she heard a suppressed groan behind it and the whack of a fist on the control panel. She entered the crew quarters and climbed onto one of the beds with her boots on.

She wasn't angry because he didn't want to answer her questions. Rey knew it would be like this. But a part of her demanded more information, because many things didn't make sense. _Why had he come by himself, without a crew?_ Too much about Kylo Ren made no sense. _If they had squadrons all around D'Qar, why did he blackmailed her with being his apprentice? What the hell was with this pupilage, by the way? Wouldn't it been easier just to kill her during the attack on the Resistance and get rid of the Force-sensitive girl who could have become dangerous? The First Order now had all the cards to win the war. But he had decided to give up on it in exchange for her agreement to become his pupil._

 _What game do you play, Kylo Ren?_

She closed her eyes and turned towards the wall.

-x-

"She's gone, Leia."

Leia put her hands on Luke's shoulders. She sensed his turmoil and came to him at the exit from the base. He was standing with his back to her, looking at an invisible spot far away in the sky, hands crossed on his chest.

"What do you feel?"

"I know she is with your son now. I sensed her thoughts of him and her panic. But when I came to her quarters her bed was already empty. There must be a reason."

She had no answers for him, so she just clasped her hand on his shoulder reassuringly. "It's not your fault."

"I don't think she betrayed us. I already knew she wasn't born for the Jedi path; she had too much passion within her. I knew she was something new and unknown. I knew she was connected to Ben, and he to her, and their bond has a meaning I don't understand. I didn't have the answers for her, Leia. And she needs her answers. Maybe Ben will find them with her."

"Maybe he will," echoed Leia's voice.

-x-

Ren was impressed that the girl came to him alone and determined, sacrificing her freedom for the people he knew weren't even that close to her. You needed to have some courage to fly alone to your enemy, labeling yourself as a traitor for the people you left behind your back. Besides that, the girl was certainly worth training, despite that her tantrum was not a sign of a solid Master-apprentice relationship Her passion gave away that she hadn't become an emotionally sterile Jedi yet. The scavenger had her backbone and Kylo Ren appreciated the inner strength. Her Force signature was strong and he felt the ocean of Force, hidden inside her petite figure. She was yet like raw material and her inner ocean could either become a calm and smooth surface of clear water, or a dark, stormy beast, beating against rocks in primal anger, swallowing everyone who dared to confront it. Kylo Ren's mouth twitched in a triumphant smirk - he had his apprentice and Luke Skywalker wasn't there to prevent the stormy waves on the ocean. He'd encourage her anger and passion and she would succumb to his will. Kylo Ren clenched his fists so tight that it began to hurt. The pain was good: it gave him strength to fight whenever he felt weak. He checked the coordinates in the computer and adjusted the heading. He did it almost automatically, since his heart was beating wild in agitation and his mind was full of anticipation. _They would stand together within the Darkness, a Master and his Apprentice, and Galaxy would bow low before them_.

-x-

Rey sensed a light touch on her shoulder.

"Just five more minutes, Master Luke," She mumbled into her pillow.

"Wake up, girl, we need to go." She heard the familiar deep voice of Ren.

 _It was not a dream_.

She sprang to her feet immediately, and reeled, lightheaded from getting up so suddenly. He stood before her with his palms lifted in defense. He was already wearing his mask.

"Don't you dare touch me," she hissed into the inexpressive face of his mask.

He answered nothing, turned around and exited the quarters.

"Follow me," She heard his voice from behind the doors. She rubbed her eyes, grabbed her staff and her lightsaber and headed towards him. He was standing facing the exit of the shuttle, cloaked and stiff, with his lightsaber secured on his belt. Rey stopped and left a generous amount distance between them.

"Listen, girl, and do not interrupt me. All the people on this ship are your enemies. In fact, I am your best friend compared to them. Anyone except me will try to kill you immediately because you're dangerous. Or maybe even do something worse than just killing. Even your Force abilities won't save you against thirty armed stormtroopers." Rey gulped, trying to imagine things worse than death. "But they all are afraid of me," he continued. "They know Kylo Ren knows no mercy. I am sacrificing too much for you, and not everybody on this ship is content with it. You will not talk to anyone. You will obey my orders without questioning. Those are the rules for you to stay alive and safe. You will stay beside me or in your quarters when I will be busy. Understood?"

Rey slowly nodded, processing his words. She would be with him at all times. _How would she escape?_ She doubted the quarters she would be given wouldn't be monitored at all times by constant security. Kriff, it was probably going to be the most protected room on the whole Star Destroyer.

"Good. Take this and put it on."

She noticed the crimson bundle he was holding in his hands. Rey took it, trying not to touch his gloved fingers and unfolded it. It was a cloak with an oversized hood, the color of dried blood.

"What is this?"

"You will wear it to look more… dangerous. Your look and some rumors will work for your reputation. Substance is nothing, appearance is everything. Hide your face in the shadows and people will fear you."

 _Hadn't there been a trace of pain in his voice?_

"Fear is your best friend now. As long as they fear you, you are safe."

 _Why was he so concerned for her safety?_

She confessed to herself that his points made sense. She sensed him being tense and ready, as if he was expecting an attack every moment. She nodded again and wrapped herself into the cloak. He looked her over from head to toe and pressed the button on the wall. The door of the shuttle opened with a hiss and he exited with his strong pace, not looking behind.

She followed him and the noise of the base filled her ears. Dozens of stormtroopers and officers were pacing to and fro, talking and working. The hangar was enormous and Rey turned her head left and right, trying at the same time not to step on her cloak. Apart from the shuttle they arrived on stood some TIE-fighters. Ren's steps were wide and fast and there was always an empty corridor before him, as if he created invisible walls around himself. Suddenly he stopped. Rey stopped some distance behind him.

"Captain Phasma."

"Right you are, sir."

"Recall the attack on the D'Qar."

The tall woman clad in chrome stormtrooper armor recoiled. "But General Hux…"

"I take Hux upon myself. Fulfill the order. And…set the prisoners free. Recall the guards from the additional hangar on the zero level. Tell them to be quick if they want to keep their useless lives long enough to leave the _Finalizer_."

Captain Phasma saluted and headed into one of the many corridors of the Star Destroyer.

"Come with me, quickly," Ren's voice sounded tense.

 _Like I have a choice_ , Rey thought darkly.

They passed the hangar, more corridors and a few doors before entering a hall. She lowered her hood to study the hall more clearly. It was vast, and was furnished with a long, dark table with eight chairs on his right half and an empty space on the other. Rey noticed two holoprojectors fixated on two stands. _What are they for?_

"Private training space."

Ren paced along the hall and came towards two doors. One of the doors seemed slightly familiar to her. They probably led to his quarters…

 _Were they supposed to live together?!_

But Ren came towards the second door, which was smaller.

"This is your room. It is small since it was designed to be a storage room, but it is big enough to sleep in. I gave orders for you to get a couch, a garment rack, a little table and a lamp. You can use the facilities in my room. There is a direct pass to it."

He pressed a button and a part of the wall moved aside. Through the opening she saw his quarters and a door to the bathroom on the opposite side.

Her thoughts must have been written clearly on her face, since he raised his palms and she heard a click and saw him removing his mask. He brushed his fingers through his hair and said with a shadow of embarrassment.

.

"Look, I am not a pervert, if I understood your facial expression right. I won't come to your room if you don't want me to. I chose to settle you by my side because it is safer and more convenient."

 _And I cannot escape,_ a voice whispered in the back of her head. _No, don't think like that._

He seemed different than before their quarrel on the shuttle, though. He obviously tried to be more human with her and to restrain his temper. He even tried not to call her "girl" or "scavenger". She decided that at least this new Kylo Ren didn't enrage her as much as the previous one. And, since she couldn't escape him for now, she could as well return the favor. Or try not to anger him too often, at least. Besides, her new chamber (and she considered this room nothing more than a chamber) had at least some furniture.

She nodded softly, "Okay, I like this room. I am used to sleeping on the bare ground, so a couch is more than enough."

He seemed relieved. "Good."

The conversation obviously began to die. They stood at the doorway of her room, but he still waited for something and didn't go away to his quarters. Rey decided to change the subject and talk about topics that had plagued her mind for too long.

"How do I know that the squadrons are recalled and the prisoners are free?" She may have "accepted" her not-so-bright future, but she was nowhere near trusting him. Why would she after everything he had done? Some indistinct part of her mind told her she saw just a tiny bit of what Ren's selfishness was capable of.

He smirked and his eyes became dangerous.

"If Phasma fulfilled my orders, you will know soon enough."

Immediately following his words, the big doors to the hall hissed and opened, and Rey saw a ginger man in a black uniform rushing inside.

"REN!"

The ginger man was enraged. He rushed towards Kylo Ren and grabbed the fabric on his chest. They stood very close to each other, panting.

"How dare you throw away all the work we've done! What is wrong with you?! We had the Resistance in our hands and now I come to the zero level and see… What do I see, Ren?! No hostages! I was relieved to know that you decided to finally execute them. But when I came to the additional hangar I saw no X-wings! I called Phasma. "Captain Phasma," I said. "Where are the hostages?" And what answer did I get? "Lord Ren ordered to set the hostages free"? And then I heard something even more crazy! "Lord Ren also ordered to recall the squadrons from the D'Qar"?! Who do you think you are? You're not even part of the First Order! We've lost the Resistance base, and they'll relocate as soon as the X-wings reach their damn planet!"

The ginger man tried to shake Ren with his hand as a dog shakes its prey, but Kylo Ren stood still and silent, looking directly into man's eyes. Rey felt almost tangible waves of hatred, emanating from both rivals.

"What's wrong with you?" The man shouted again and only then seemed to notice Rey. Suddenly, he became dangerously calm and released Ren's collar. "Oh, I see. Kylo Ren got a new pet." He turned towards her and lifted her chin with his hand, looking to her with an appraising look as if she was a cattle on a market. "Tell me, Ren, is your scavenger girl worth the losses? Will she warm your bed? Does she know some dirty secrets about how to please a man?" Rey sent Ren an angry look, uncertain of what to do. The red-haired man began to stroke her throat with his thumb, descending lower with each stroke. She understood that the consequences of her pushing him away with the Force would be unpredictable and simply stayed stiff, clenching her fists.

"Enough, Hux." Ren's voice was deep and dangerous.

"Oh, Lord Ren doesn't want to share his little pet. How selfish of you! You know you can patronize me as much as you want with all that hocus-pocus you call the Force, but you can't actually do anything to me. The Supreme Leader is wise: he knows that wars are won by soldiers and technique, not by all those mind tricks and lightsabers. He'll punish you if you do any harm to me, because while you and your followers mope around the galaxy on some "secret missions" I lead the First Order's army. So, would you mind if I play with your toy? Didn't your _mommy_ tell you that good boys must share?"

"I said _enough_."

Rey shot Ren a concerned look. He could easily kill the ginger man, but he didn't do anything. Rey assumed from the speech that Hux, as Ren called him, was an important person within the First Order hierarchy and for some reason Ren couldn't do to him anything bad without suffering the consequences.

"Okay, Ren, play with your little pet, but be sure that the Supreme Leader will immediately know her cost for us. And if he decides to get rid of the girl, you can do nothing to protect your toy. And if he chooses me to execute her, I'll make sure that her death will be… entertaining."

General Hux turned around and exited the hall with quick strides.

The very moment he left the hall Kylo Ren rushed towards the entrance and blocked the door. When he turned towards her, she sensed rage emanating from him. The humiliation was obviously too much for him. His pupils were wide and she immediately understood that he restrained himself for too long and was close to explosion. Rey slowly moved backwards, holding her staff in a defensive position.

"Take off your cloak and take out your lightsaber."

His voice trembled with suppressed rage. She was stucked with a madman.

"Look, I didn't ask you to bring me here…"

His saber jumped into his palm and ignited with a familiar whoosh. He began to approach her slowly, as a tiger, his lightsaber cracking in his hand.

"I said take it off or I'll cut it from your shoulders."

She understood that he was serious. The cloak was on the floor the next moment and she threw away the staff and ignited her lightsaber.

"Now defend yourself, little Jedi. Prove that you are worthy all my efforts."

 _Stars, he was truly mad_. _He was going to kill her._

He attacked her suddenly without warning and she barely managed to defend herself. Their lightsabers met and sparked, but this moment didn't last long. His attacks were fast and dangerous. He fought with his teeth clenched and his breath uneven. She didn't even think of attacking him: she needed to defend herself from his quick and strong blows. Rey couldn't help but think that Luke had probably been fighting her with only half of his actual strength.

"Ouch!"

She gazed on the deep lightsaber burn on her arm. Luke never injured her during their sparrings.

"This is not a game, girl! Fight for your life, use the Force against me, or I'll kill you here and now!"

She was angry, and the pain from the burn enraged her even further. The Kylo Ren whom she had began to at least tolerate was gone. _How dare he treat her this way_. She never wanted this. He brought her here by force and now _he demanded her to prove to him that she was worthy_?

Rey felt hatred filling her thoughts. There was so much hatred and pain, that she felt as if her head would explode at any moment.

"YOU BASTARD! GET OFF ME!" she shouted, enraged. She put all her hatred into a Force push. It threw Ren backwards and his body hit the opposite wall with a loud crash. She jumped after him with a feral scream, intending to kill him. But he sprang onto his feet, parried her blow, and hit her leg with his foot. She lost balance, and he pushed her with the Force so strongly she was thrown away and landed on the floor with a thud. It was painful. She stood up onto her feet, feeling dizzy and saw him slowly approaching her with the left side of his mouth twitched in a smirk. There was blood at the corner of his mouth and he wiped it with a sleeve. He attacked again and they continued their dangerous dance across the hall. Their sabers flickered and hissed while meeting. Ren's enraged stabs gradually became less chaotic and more accurate and thoughtful. He methodically exhausted her. Suddenly, he performed a series of precise blows and pushed her with the Force. She fell onto the floor and saw the tip of his saber flickering in front of her face. _So, that's how death looks like_. She closed her eyes expecting the final mortal blow.

"Dead." She heard his deep voice and heard the whoosh of the saber. She opened her eyes and saw him hovering above her, his saber attached to his belt, disabled. He was offering her an ungloved hand. She studied his face. His pupils were of normal size now and his eyes looked calm.

"Do you prefer lying here, on the cold floor?" His voice sounded mocking.

She stretched her hand and he helped her stand up. His palm felt strangely warm, his skin slightly calloused but soft. He released her hand and it suddenly felt somewhat uncomfortable.

"What's next, Kylo Ren? Am I supposed to fight you every time somebody pisses you off?" she spat into his face.

He shrugged his shoulders and she could swear that she noticed a naughty smile in his deep, dark eyes.

"I'll consider your suggestion. Now come on, we need to do something with your burns."

He turned and headed towards his quarters. She followed him and the door closed behind their backs.

* * *

 _ **A/N: Hmmm, somebody is a little bipolar… No, holy crap, somebody is a LOT bipolar! Shalalala, my oh my, looks like the boy's too shy, go on and KILL the girl… (Sorry, Sebastian).**_

 _ **Be cautious, lil' Rey, you're playing with the Dark Side.**_

 _ **Be cautious, lil' Ben, fulfilling your promises is a path to the Light (and you already have problems with it).**_

 _ **Lil' Hux (why they called him ARMITAGE?! How I'm supposed to call him by his pet name, huh? Army? Agy?)… Just stay yourself. You're the perfection.**_

 _ **And yes, I'm obsessed with Ren's hands and long fingers. And nobody can stop me, ha-ha.**_


	6. Chapter 6 - Payback Time

_**A/N: Violence warning!**_

 _ **Please, if you're too sensitive, don't read the chapter, because somebody will suffer today ;) But if you feel some blood lust – the chapter will certainly satisfy you.**_

 _ **Bless our Dark Side.**_

 _ **Mwahaha. Mwahahahhaha.**_

 _ **xoxo**_

 _ **Ronrinesu & Darth Retailation**_

* * *

 **Chapter 6. Payback Time**

"Sit."

Ren pointed towards a chair near his table, whilst opening a drawer positioned near the refresher. He rummaged a little, until he found a solid briquette and offered it to Rey. She took and studied the little bricket with curiosity. She was not used to any healing equipment. During her days on Jakku, she never had enough rations to buy any. If she cut her leg or arm while scavenging, she simply washed it with water, if she had extra, and would wrap it with the cleanest piece of cloth she could find. She therefore held the strange bricket in her hand, completely unaware of what she needed to do next.

"This is an emergency bacta bricket in solid form," said Ren, seeing her confusion. However, it didn't make things more clear.

"Oh, please, what junkyard of a planet you came from?" Ren sighed, took another chair and sat in front of her. He took off his other glove, took the bricket from her hands and unwrapped. It was divided into small tablets, which could be easily separated from each other. He cut off one tablet and squeezed it in his palm.

"Give me your burnt hand."

She stretched her injured forearm towards him. He opened his palm and she saw a gel-like substance on his long fingers. He held her wrist still with one hand, and began to gently cover her burn with the substance with his other hand. It felt cool and soothing on her burnt skin. She looked at him with wide eyes, afraid to ruin this strange moment. Five minutes ago she saw a beast intending to take her life, and now, she studied his features and saw a normal man. He was calm and focused on her burn now. _Force, this man has a temper of a hurricane_.

"Solid bacta needs to be melted in your hand to obtain its active form." She must have been staring on him too intensively because he raised his dark gaze and asked with a note of temper in his voice, "What? Why are you staring at me like that?"

"Uhm… nothing." She averted her gaze from him. He finished covering her burn and stood up onto his feet. Ren went towards his wardrobe, opened it, took a pair of trousers and a tunic from it and threw them to her. She caught them with her uninjured hand.

"Take a shower and go to your room." His tone sounded cold and distant again. Rey suspected this was going to be how she would be treated from now on. "Discard all those dirty clothes you have on you or put them in the laundry at least. I have some work to do. When I return, we'll continue your training."

"Training? You almost killed me," she grumbled, before starting to drag herself towards the entrance of the refresher.

"I am not Luke Skywalker, so adjust yourself. If he was more demanding while training you, I wouldn't have beaten you so easily today."

She had no answer for this statement, so she continued to walk towards the 'fresher door, which was, obviously, black. Like everything else here. _Would some white or yellow paint hurt?_

The leg he had kicked earlier began to hurt as adrenaline went away.

"Stop, girl. Why do you limp?"

 _Doesn't she have a name?_

"If somebody didn't kick me like a rabid bantha, I wouldn't be limping now. Anyway, it's nothing. I had worse times on Jakku."

He looked as if he wanted to come to her, but decided against it at the last moment. Now that they were closer to each other, their bond was beginning to grow stronger. She was able to feel a sudden wave of guilt and shame coming from him. But his words were still cold and harsh.

"If you're injured, you can't train. If you can't train, you're useless."

She suddenly felt anger, but also determination. She dragged herself towards him quickly, despite her injuries, and stopped mere inches from him. He seemed bemused by her closeness and looked down at her from his height. His face was rid of his usual cold expression and was replaced by perplexity. She shoved her finger on his chest.

"Listen to me, _Ben Solo_ ," she hissed, using his birth name intentionally. "I don't understand that game you're playing. You may consider yourself the menacing Master of the Knights of Ren, or some Dark Side prince, but I see only a young man with the temper of a pregnant bantha cow. You dragged me here, threatening me with the lives of my friends and said that I must earn your attention. Then you tried to kill me and now you pretend that being injured is my fault, as if I kicked my knee myself. So don't you dare call me useless or useful, because you sound like your pretty ginger girlfriend who judjed me as if I was some whore. Just teach me if that's truly want you want or lock me in a chamber, okay? I am not afraid of you. Now I'm going to shower. After that I'll go to my room, and you'll fetch me a medical droid since ginger brat pissed you off, and because of that, instead of ruining some pieces of furniture as you usually do, you almost killed me in your rage. Understand?"

She turned around and exited his room, leaving him behind.

-x-

"X-wings! X-wings! Black Squadron is back!"

"Poe," whispered Finn. He rushed towards the entrance of the Resistance base. People around him left their duties and hurried toward the landing fighters.

They had all been worried since Black Squadron hadn't return from the mission. They had waited till midday, but there was no sign of X-fighters above D'Qar. Those were long hours of waiting.

The whole base lapsed into silence as the pilots exited their X-wings with grim expressions on their tired faces. Soon the story of the Squadron's capture would spread across the base.

Leia paced around the command room like a tigress in a cage. She knew time was running short and she would soon need to make a decision about evacuating the base and moving to another system. Staying here would be a death sentence for all of them.

Luke stood at the corner of the room, silent, hands crossed across his chest.

They both heard the call of the watchman.

"Thank the Force," whispered Leia and rushed from the command room.

"Poe!" Finn was first to reach the flagman fighter. He opened the door and helped his friend to get out.

"Finn! We all are in danger! I need to speak with General immediately."

Finn looked at the face of his friend and saw that he was unusually pale, with several traces of blood on his forehead. He immediately understood that something was wrong.

"Fetch the medics," said Poe. "Some of our pilots are wounded." Finn understood this was not the right time for questions.

"General Organa," Poe said, as he saw Leia hurrying towards him. He caught her forearms and squeezed them. "We need to evacuate the base. The First Order knows coordinates of the D'Qar."

"What happened, Poe?"

"There was a trap on Karazak fuel base. They were waiting for us."

"I understand," Leia nodded. She shouted to staff members: "Turn on the emergency alarm! We are leaving the base!" She hugged Poe and said, "At least I am happy that you're alive, Dameron. Come, tell me everything while we prepare the evacuation."

Poe told her and Luke everything he experienced during the long night, including their strange rescue by the Stormtrooper captain in shiny armor, and how they were released several systems from here.

A knock on the door interrupted Poe as he was finishing off his report. They all turned towards the door. Finn stood in the doorway, looking perplexed.

"I am sorry to interrupt you, but I couldn't find Rey. We need her help in the hangar. I haven't seen her all morning, but I assumed she was training with you, Master Luke. Have you seen her recently?"

Leia sighed, "Now everything makes sense."

Finn looked at everyone with concerned gaze, "I don't understand…"

"Rey disappeared last night. She took her staff and her lightsaber with her. In the morning, Red Squadron found one of the ships missing." Luke's voice sounded devoid of expression.

"What? Rey left the base? We arrived only yesterday! What made her do that?"

"I think the answer stands in front of you." Poe's voice was trembling from emotion, "This is why the First Order set us free and why they haven't attacked D'Qar yet. Kylo Ren interrogated me at the beginning of the night. They had enough time to attack the Resistance. But the brave girl sold her life dearly and bought us some time. Though, I'm impressed that the First Order honored their commitments. It's not in their character."

"Are you saying that Rey... is dead?" Finn's voice sounded weak.

"I don't think so," answered Luke, "Also, I don't think that all of this is the initiative of the First Order. From what I've heard from Rey, I can assume this is Ben's doing. He prefers to have her as an apprentice rather than to focus on political issues. I can assume he simply got what he wanted and didn't pay attention to the cost. And I think this is the beginning of the end of his union with the First Order."

"He doesn't crave political power, but the Force. And Rey can be a clue to this. It is not surprising that he fulfilled her demands. He needs her trust," stated Leia.

"What we will do?" asked Finn.

"First, we need to establish a new base on another planet and do it as quickly as we can. Rey is now relatively safe with Ben. We will come for her in time," answered Luke.

"What? Do you even hear yourself? How can she be safe with Kylo Ren?" Finn was frustrated.

"He is obsessed with the idea of training her. He won't do her any harm willingly. As for the other members of the First Order, you mustn't underestimate her. She can defend herself if it's needed. I am only afraid of Snoke. But we need to solve the Resistance's issues first and then come up with a good plan for her rescue," Leia's tone was firm.

Finn looked into the twins' eyes.

"I hope you understand what you're doing," he exclaimed as he rushed from the room.

Leia sighed, "She must mean a lot to him."

"She means a lot to everyone. But now, we must think of hundreds of people we carry responsibility for," answered Luke, "We will come for her as soon as we can."

The Resistance base was buzzing like a disturbed hive. It was time to pull up roots and find a new home somewhere among the cold unfriendly stars.

-x-

"Master."

Kylo Ren stood before the huge hologram of the Supreme Leader in the holochamber.

"Kylo Ren. You know why you're here, don't you?"

Ren stood with his head bowed and answered in a low voice, "To receive my punishment."

Kylo Ren sensed the familiar presence of the Supreme Leader inside his head. The torture began. The pain was bearable at first, but it became stronger as the minutes ticked by. It felt as if somebody inserted a thick needle inside of his spine.

"My apprentice, I am very disappointed with you. It was a clever idea to bargain with the girl with the lives of those hostages and promise to set them free if she comes. It was a brilliant move to show her that we know the coordinates of the Resistance base and promise to let them go if she flies into our hands. But to fulfill all those promises after you had her life in your arms… I do not understand you, Kylo Ren." Snoke's voice sounded freezing calm with a note of curiosity, as if Ren was some interesting sort of insect and Snoke was an enthusiastic investigator, preparing to tear off the insect's wings. He didn't seem angry or annoyed, and that was the worst: Ren knew that Snoke would pull his insides out without any emotion.

Ren clenched his teeth and sank onto his knees. Not only his spine burnt, but so did all his body. His head felt as if was about to burst. He clasped it in his hands and bit his lip not to scream.

"Who do you serve, Ren? Aren't the Knights of Ren and the First Order allies?" Snoke's voice reverberated inside his head. He felt a trickle of blood beginning to run out of his nose.

"You used the First Order for your personal purposes, my apprentice."

"I am the Knight of Ren and I keep my promises. Even for the scavenger girl," whispered Ren.

"You are a romantic fool. Promises for someone mean nothing in a war. You could have succeeded both in training the girl and in capturing of the Resistance, but you decided to honour your word. Don't you think that the price is too big?"

The pain intensified. Ren fell onto the floor, trying to breathe, and felt the blood running from his ears. He saw dark dots and circles dancing before his eyes.

"You must prove your loyalty to me, my apprentice. I won't kill you today, but I'll punish you harshly for your disobedience. Do not to forget who made you. Teach the girl, sway her to the Dark Side. Prove yourself worthy of my further trust. You sacrificed too much for her not to trust you. If I see that you're not succeeding, I will sway her myself in a very painful way." His voice was now harsh and loud, reverberating inside his aching head. The Supreme Leader spat each word, and they burned into Kylo's feverish mind like branding marks.

The torture reached its climax. Kylo Ren shut his eyes and screamed from the unbearable pain which consumed his body and mind.

Somewhere else, in a small storage room on the Finalizer, Rey fell from her bed in front of an anxiously beeping medical droid, screaming and clasping her head in insufferable torture.

-x-

Kylo Ren returned to his quarters some hours later. Rey found him sitting on the floor resting against one of the gray walls, his long legs stretched. His breath sounded harsh through the mask. She approached him cautiously, wrapping his too big tunic around herself and sat on her haunches at a distance, studying him. The collar of his cloak was wet and dark from some liquid. He sat unmoving as if he was unconscious. Rey decided that making the distance between them a little bit shorter would not be a sin. She outstretched her hand and lightly touched his collar.

 _Stars, it was sodden with blood_.

He inhaled deeply and his breath became quiet. Too quiet. She rushed towards him without thinking. Rey perhaps hated him, but watching him sitting before her and slowly dying was not something she could do. She knelt in front of him, his long legs stretched at both sides of her ankles. She began to feel the lower edge of his mask, trying to find the lock. She needed to give him some air.

Suddenly his hands clasped her wrists so tight she yelped from pain. But in the next moment, he relaxed and held her fingers towards the lock. She heard the click and lifted the mask from his face.

She couldn't avoid her gaze from him. The sight of his face was horrible. It was white as a stormtrooper's armor, and from his nose and ears extended the traces of clotted blood. His eyes were bloodshot as if somebody gave him a blow on his head.

"Hey," she said reluctantly, not knowing what else was to say in a moment such as this.

"Hey," he echoed.

"What happened?"

Rey expected anything except a smile on his cracked lips, covered with blood. It felt foreign on his face, which was usually moody. She noticed small wrinkles at the corners of his eyes, while he smiled. He was obviously exhausted and injured, but… relieved.

He whispered with a croaky voice, "I paid my bills."

He coughed and the smile on his lips was replaced with a pained expression.

"I don't understand," Rey said, clutching his mask near her stomach.

"You don't need to."

She decided not to push the subject. Their closeness began to feel weird, although they weren't touching each other. Rey stood up on her feet and asked him hesitantly, "Can I help?"

"No," he replied, returning to his usual demeanor. He tried to stand up on his own, but it was obvious that he was wasting all his strength to reach the hall. She heard a suppressed groan through his clenched teeth and rolled her eyes. _Stubborn nerfherder_.

"Oh, c'mon, we can't have much progress like that."

Rey took his arm and threw it over her shoulders and started dragging him into his room. His height and weight made the task all the more difficult, but she managed to drag him into the quarters. She laid him onto the bed with his face down, and lifted his booted legs as well. Strength had probably left him since he now looked unconscious. _Great_. She tugged at his blood-soaked cloak and threw it onto the floor. She looked at his boots and decided to leave them on. Her gaze fell onto his gloved hands. She could take them off at least. Disposing the gloves, she studied his exposed fingers. There were several bruises under his nails. _What had he experienced during these hours_?

She left Ren's room and looked in the direction of the main entrance to his quarters. Now, while he was weak, she could try to escape.

 _But I don't know if the Resistance evacuated already_. She considered the thought and decided not to make swift decisions. She headed towards her room when she felt a slight rustle through her bond with Kylo Ren.

 _Thank you_.

She felt her lips curling into a smile unwillingly. Their affiliation was a mess and she hadn't yet decided if she could tolerate him at all, but at least they began to communicate somehow.

Rey came into her room, picked up a holoreader and prepared to wait for him to wake up.

-x-

Two hours passed and Rey soon became bored sitting in her small room. She went out to the hall and stuck her ear to Kylo Ren's door. He was probably still sleeping, so she took her staff and her lightsaber and decided to stretch and train by herself. Having nobody to spar with was a problem, and her gaze fell onto the "private training space" Ren mentioned this morning.

She went towards one of the holoprojectors and switched it on. The holoprojector on the opposite side switched on automatically and Rey found herself in a net of parallel orange laser rays. She understood that it was a location detection system and began to search the menu. The control was rather simple - it was a combat simulator where she needed to chose the difficulty level, a number of opponents and their weapons. A phrase of Ren's popped up in her mind: " _... your force abilities won't save you against thirty armed stormtroopers_." She snorted and decided to start with ten opponents armed with blasters on medium difficulty. Rey switched on the simulator and stood at the center with her lightsaber ignited.

She immediately understood her mistake. This was the simulator Ren used for himself, so her laser opponents rushed towards her simultaneously. She jumped and rolled over, crushing the first opponent with her lightsaber. It disintegrated to thousands of sparkles. She turned around to face the next opponent and the first blaster shot hit her leg.

It was surprisingly painful. Rey didn't understand how it was implemented in the simulator, but it hurt as if it was real. She tried to block the next shot with her lightsaber as she saw Ren do on Takodana, but the shot flew through it and hit her in the shoulder. She was obviously losing this battle.

"You're using the lightsaber as a mere bludgeon."

Rey jumped towards the control panel, switched off the simulator and turned towards the door. He stood there, leaning against the door frame, his bare hands crossed on his chest, the left side of his mouth curled in a smirk. She noticed that he had changed his clothes and was wearing the same type of tunic and trousers she wore herself, his lightsaber attached to the belt. Blood from his nose and ears was gone and his hair appeared slightly wet, so she assumed that he had taken a shower not a long time ago. His eyes were still bloodshot. Ren studied her from head to toe and said.

"I need to fetch you some clothes."

She looked comical in his too big tunic and trousers she needed to turn up almost half the length simply to be able to walk.

"I see you try to use the Force while fighting, but I also see that you're restraining yourself. Free it, let it envelop your hand and make the saber the extension of it."

Rey pursed her lips.

"Look, if you want to teach me the Dark Side, then you're wasting your efforts. I won't use it."

Ren shrugged his shoulders, but didn't look surprised or annoyed.

"Did I say something about the Dark Side? I said 'Force'. I intend to let you use both sides of the Force. While I personally prefer the Dark Side for its power, you will make your own choice."

It was now her turn to be surprised. Rey always thought that his main goal was to sway her to the Dark Side. But his words convinced her that he wanted to give her a choice. Rey touched her padawan braid unintentionally. _She didn't forget what Luke said of the Dark Side._

She heard the whoosh of his saber. He stood at the center of the training space and nodded to her.

"Switch on the simulator."

Rey pressed the button and her opponents began to approach Ren. He jumped and spun, defeating the first opponent, and landed onto his feet and one arm springily. He deflected a few shots and hacked two opponents simultaneously with a dangerous criss-cross blow of his saber. The next opponent rushed towards him, but he pushed him with the Force and crushed him with the next blow. He did all those things so easily as if he was dancing: the only difference was that each of his pirouette brought death. Rey felt the strong song of the Force within him. It hummed like a well-tuned instrument. He defeated the last opponent and the simulator switched off. Ren wasn't even panting.

"You need to get rid of the fear of the Dark Side. I feel the passion within you, and your inner barriers Skywalker established won't give you an opportunity to elicit your potential. Those barriers restrain not only your power, but your abilities for the Light as well. You're afraid to use the Force while fighting, because every minute you fight I sense a question within you: ' _Am I falling into the Darkness_?' He ran his fingers through his wild black curls and disabled his lightsaber. "Remember, there is always a choice you can make. Nobody can sway you to the Darkness if you don't want it, Rey."

She shivered at the sound of her name on his lips. It was the first time he didn't call her "girl" or "scavenger". _Must she now call him Master?_ She decided no one except Luke was worthy this title from her.

"All right. Are you ready to train me how to break the barriers?" Rey said, trying to return to more simple things.

His eyes flashed with a dangerous fire.

 _Always_. _I am always ready for you, Rey._

* * *

 _ **A/N: Pff, just some bleeding and torture, an ordinary day on the Finalizer.**_

 _ **Do you like the caring side of Ren as I like it? And he looks cool while fighting, I know. Do you already feel the chemistry between them? My passionate pair, one moment fighting and the next moment caring for each other. So cute ^_^**_

 _ **P.S. My dear Guests, who leave reviews for me! Unfortunately I can't answer you via PM. If you like the chapters – please, register on the FF and follow the story for me to communicate with you! Number of followers warms my heart. Looking forward to your reviews, kittens! We're doing all this out of pure love!**_


	7. Chapter 7 - Waves on the Ocean

_**A/N: Here comes the chapter 7!**_

 _ **By the way, I want to say a huge "OhmyGodthankyouthankyouthankyou!" to all of my readers/followers, especially to those of you, who wrote me a review. You inspire me, guys, really, I'll try to do my best for you (and all we do with Darth Retailation is only for you).**_

 _ **Dear Guest, who asked me about Rey's origins – is she Kenobi or Palpatine? Hmm, let me tell you that *broodingly strokes the invisible beard* I, personally, think, that for all those, who provide spoilers, in hell there is a special kettle ;) And I don't want to find myself in that kettle one day, so I'll tell you nothing (very Jedish, don't you think?). I'll mention only that my version of Rey's origins is VERY original (and I suppose interesting). I'll give you some clues in the next chapters, my little impatient kittens, hope you'll stay with my story to find them!**_

* * *

 **Chapter 7. Waves on the Ocean**

Almost two weeks passed since the beginning of Rey's training with Kylo Ren.

His bloodshot eyes gradually returned to normal. They never spoke of the incident in the hall, and neither did she tell him of feeling his pain that day either. They established a strange type of relationship - they both remembered they were still enemies, but the degree of coldness between them decreased. During those two weeks, Ren never raised his voice at her, although his comments were often sharp. He was a strict and demanding teacher, always pushing her over what she thought was the edge of her abilities. She could count his reserved praises with the fingers of a hand. She sometimes felt him being satisfied with her progress, but he never expressed it in words.

He fulfilled his promise and never persuaded her to use the Dark Side or forbid the use of the Light. But despite all her attempts to restrain herself, she sometimes felt the darkness emanating from herself in the heat of the fight. Ren didn't say anything in those moments, but he always encouraged the passion and primal anger she fought with. Rey realized that she was failing Luke, but Ren was persistent and patient in playing with her temper. She felt her self-restraint betraying her. _How could she be calm and compassionate, when he always knew how to bring her to the boiling point?_ Ren had a sharp tongue and his scornful words always hit the target. He noticed her every mistake and it was driving her mad. Sometimes Rey would jump at him, aiming to wipe the smirk from his face, but he always parried or dodged and the next snide remark flew from his lips. _Oh, how she wanted to wound him, to beat him as she did on the Starkiller base_. But he had started practicing lightsaber combat at least ten years earlier than Rey: of course, he would always beat her. Sometimes not with ease, but always painfully and offensively.

Today, they were standing opposite one another. Rey studied her opponent with curiosity. He had no weapon, which seemed strange, considering he always carried his lightsaber with him. He wore no arm protection or gloves. Rey also noticed that instead of the bare floor, their training space now was covered with a sort of soft material in order to cushion the falls. It was not necessary while sparring with lightsabers since Ren tried not to beat her too hard or to cripple her, even though she always found a new bruise on her body after yet another defeat. They practiced mostly fencing, without raw fighting. But today he wanted to teach her something different.

"No weapons today." His tone betrayed his agitation. "Give me your saber." Rey unbuckled the lightsaber from her belt and held it out to him. Ren took the saber from her hand and gave her two long rolled-up gray bands. She studied them with raised eyebrows and looked at him again, her eyes questioning.

"What is it for?"

"To protect your knuckles."

She watched him as he took out two similar bands, although black and seemingly longer and wider, and began to wrap his own knuckles and fists.

"No… You're kidding. Are we supposed to fight with bare hands?"

Ren shrugged his shoulders, still wrapping his fists.

"Why not? You won't always have your saber by your side and you need to gain strength, to fight without it or that long stick you love so much."

"Kriff, Ren, you're a sick bastard. Just admit that you always wanted to beat a woman. Besides that, I already know how to fight with my hands - I grew up on a junkyard, you know." She definitely was learning from him if not to use the force, at least to taunt.

"Then prove it to me, junkyard girl," he smirked.

"No fair. You're at least one head taller." Rey didn't want to fight him like that. It felt… barbaric.

"A dogfight doesn't have to be fair. Besides, you can always use the Force and that makes us even."

He stood into a defensive position and beckoned her with two fingers, his other hand clenched into a fist.

"C'mon, are you afraid? Okay, I won't fight back, girl," Ren locked his long arms behind his back. "See? Just try to reach me."

Rey wrapped the bundles around her fists and came closer to him. He stood straight and seemed relaxed, his hands still behind his back. She tried to hit him lightly, but her fist just met air. He just made an unnoticeable move aside.

"That's all you can manage, _scavenger_?"

Again. He again called her that word. Rey didn't understand why this word suddenly began to enrage her - she _was_ a scavenger, but on his tongue it sounded offensive. He behaved as if she had to earn her own name. She tried to hit him stronger and more precisely, but he again stepped aside, as if he knew where she'd strike next.

"I'm surprised you managed to stay alive on that planet of yours. With such fighting abilities you must have already been possessed as somebody's property," His eyes shone dangerously at the word _possess_.

 _Damn you_. She was beginning to boil. Rey clenched her fists and hit him this time seriously, performing a series of rather strong and dangerous blows. But he appeared to dodge all the time, as if he was a ghost. It was humiliating. While living on Jakku, Rey regularly had encounters with other scavengers and learned to fight rather well with or without her staff. In that land of sand and scorching sunshine the choice was easy - fight, and fight good, or either die from hunger or become somebody's property. Somehow, Ren knew all her weak points.

"Fight me like the Jedi you'll never become, not like the snotty little girl you are. Kriff, don't be so stupid, use the Force, try to predict my moves!" He was scorning and moving at the same time, avoiding her blows even with hands locked behind him, "Old Skywalker would return to wherever he hid all those years in shame just to not watch your clumsy attempts to touch me."

That was the last drop on her inner scale. A wave of rage hit her and she gathered her anger to inflict him pain. _Oh, she wanted nothing more than bring him pain, see his face twitching from it_. She struck and this time strengthened her blow with the Force. He barely managed to dodge.

"Good. Now control your anger. Try to predict my moves. Use whatever you like, the anger you feel or whatever Skywalker persuaded you to use."

She closed her eyes and tried to concentrate on her inner peace. But he angered her so much she couldn't concentrate. Instead, the rage lured her to use it. _Once doesn't matter, does it?_ Rey exhaled and embraced her anger, allowing it guide her blows. A blurred vision of Ren moving to the right passed before her eyes and she yelled and struck. To her surprise, she felt something under her fist and saw Ren parrying her blow with an opened palm. If he didn't parry it, the blow would have caught him on his solar plexus.

"Good choice, Rey."

She recoiled, because he was right. The Dark Side was a free choice and she made it for now. She chose to use her anger instead of struggling with her inner peace because it was easier to use and it gave the incredible sense of power. Just once, just for one fight, but that made her a little closer to the Darkness and a little further from the Light.

But the self-loathing didn't make her anger stop, but fueled it instead, making the flow of her rage almost uncontrollable. The smirk disappeared from Ren's face and his eyes became serious as he raised his fists in defense. Rey slowly stepped onto the heel of her boot with the toe-cap of another, removing them and staying barefoot. _She always wanted to choke a person with her thighs, yes, always_. She rushed towards him and knocked him down both with the weight of her body and with the Force. They rolled head over heels on the floor, fighting, their blows equally fast and dangerous. She roared like a wild nexus, trying to reach him, aiming to wound. He fought silently, although panting heavily, not attacking, just defending.

Finally, she managed to straddle him, blocking his arms with her ankles and aimed a blow at his face with her fist. Now he was not trying to defend himself in any way, just looked directly into her eyes, his eyelashes slightly fluttering, expecting the hit. Despite the reddish haze of anger and hatred in front of her eyes, Rey noticed something new inside his dark gaze. Was it… _regret_?

Suddenly, all the rage left her and she lowered her hand. They both breathed loudly from the fight and she sat still straddling his chest and blocking his arms.

"Why don't you strike? It's your victory, your personal vendetta for me. Hit me strong, make me bleed for you."

"I don't want to do it anymore."

"Why?"

"Just because. I feel you pushing me towards choosing the darkness and yet, you regret it. So that's my turn to ask: why?"

He chewed his lower lip and freed his arms out of her grip, locking them behind his neck. She was still straddling him, studying his face from the height. He hesitated for one moment and confessed, seeming unexpectedly sincere.

"I don't know, actually, I have no logical explanation for it. Just… Your inner light is so perfect, that sometimes I am mesmerized. The ocean is calm and the sun caresses the water. It's so… beautiful."

He sounded distant, as if he was gazing into the ocean he talked about, listening to the rustle of waves against a sandy he returned and looked directly into her eyes, and said seriously, "But the Dark Side is more powerful and I believe that your true destiny is within it." He was talking with Rey as an equal would talk to an equal, without his usual arrogance.

She didn't understand what ocean he was talking about and opened her mouth to ask, but the door hissed open, as a familiar scorning voice interrupted their strange conversation.

"Well-well, don't you have to get a room for such types of activities? Ren, isn't your pet supposed to be submissive, not the other way?"

Rey groaned, knowing that this guest wouldn't make her happy. She stood up from the floor and turned around to see General Hux, watching them from the doorway. Ren stood up too and straightened himself, arms crossed on his chest.

"What do you need, Hux? Say it and get out. We are training."

"The Supreme Leader wants us both for the report. I feel especially kind today, so I decided to take you directly from your quarters since you began to ignore the droids' messages! You're so absorbed by your new role that you miss the evening councils and your so-called Knights hang around without their leader. I don't want to experience the Supreme Leader's anger because of your obsession with your toy if you get late for the holographic session."

It was obvious he liked humiliating Ren. He came closer to the girl and lifted her chin with his pale finger, "Maybe I should borrow your little whore for some time, so you could return to your real duties, huh? Doesn't she have to repay her cost for us?" Hux stroked Rey's collarbone, making her recoil in disgust. He clicked his tongue and grabbed her chin rudely, almost painful, "Tsk-tsk, pet, don't resist me. The most delightful thing is that your master can't protect you from me not being punished himself. Isn't it wonderful?"

 _Toy. Pet. Scavenger. Snotty girl_. _Little whore_. Rey felt anger again boiling inside. She shot a gaze full of hatred towards Hux. She stared, wishing she could make him suffer with her gaze. Suddenly, he became paler, which could seem almost impossible because of his already white skin. He whispered in a croaky voice:

"Ren, you can't…"

"It's not me," Ren's voice sounded a little puzzled. He looked at Rey, who was still standing straight, fists clenched and her gaze unmoving from Hux's throat. "Oh, I see, my nestling learns to fly on her own," His tone sounded almost tender, "Choke him a little, but be sure not to kill him. At least yet."

"Supreme Leader…" Hux was at the edge of blackening out.

"There's no one except us there. I didn't do anything to you, Hux, there's no trace of my force on you. As to my apprentice… Let's say I wasn't there and you assaulted her. The girl was scared by you and defended herself as she could. Oops," Kylo Ren raised his hand towards his lips in false shock, and then continued with a smirk, "She overdid a bit and choked you to death... How is the story, general?"

Rey came closer to ginger man and said in low voice, looking directly into his blue watery eyes.

"Listen to me, Ginger boy, I'm no one's pet. Always remember that I can kill you, because I'm already the prisoner here and have nothing to lose."

She released him and he immediately began to cough, his face gaining color again. He shot a gaze full of hatred towards the girl.

"Careful, scavenger, and watch your back, because I can be a dangerous enemy. Time will 'll lose your vigilance and I'll punish you for your disrespect."

"Go play with your buckethead fellows, Ginger boy, I am not afraid of moof-milkers like you."

She was done with all those squabbles and felt disgust because of the Dark Side consuming her so deeply. She just shot both rivals an obscene gesture and receded into the comfort of her little room.

She set onto her couch, panting, and covered her face with palms, trying to calm herself. Her gaze fell onto her staff, standing beside her bed. _Maybe she could splash out her anger, destroying something, as Ren did?_ It could bring her peace, at least temporarily. _But wouldn't that mean that Ren had won and swayed her to his side completely, and that she made her choice?_ She sat on her small couch with crossed legs and closed her eyes, remembering Luke's lessons on meditation. A shadow of his familiar calm voice passed through her memories: "... _And in your weakest moment, you will find your strength inside of your beautiful soul_." She exhaled and inhaled, concentrating, trying to find the serenity inside herself. She remembered Ren's words and imagined the ocean on Ahch-To in those rare sunny days, when the wind on the island was not so strong and there was no clouds in the sky. There were not many of those days, but once or twice, she saw the calm ocean from the cliff she used to sit at and felt the sun shyly caressing her face. Soon, the calm flow of the Force embraced her and Rey sensed her thoughts and emotions flowing away into the eternity. She allowed herself to smile a little bit. If she could still find the peace within herself that meant she was not completely gone. Not yet, at least.

-x-

"Supreme Leader," both General Hux and Kylo Ren bowed in front of the giant hologram.

"Report, my loyal soldiers. General Hux, is there any success with searching of the Resistance Base?" The voice of Supreme Leader Snoke was dark and devoid of emotion, as usual.

"I apologize that I have no positive news. Our searching ended in a deadlock. They lay low and no information was obtained during the week," General Hux shot a scathing look to Kylo Ren. The tall Knight stood unmoving, the expression unreadable behind the mask.

"That's not good, General. The longer we search for them, the stronger they become. They'll establish a new base very soon and the attacks on our bases will be resumed. We need to find a new strategy of searching."

"If you allow me to speak, I have an idea," General Hux's tone sounded almost triumphant. He looked at Ren again and the corner of his lips curled into smirk. Ren had a bad feeling about whatever that ginger head could come up with.

"We have the Jedi scum in our hands. I know there is some sort of communication which can be established between Force sensitives. Let me… persuade the girl to find the whereabouts of Luke Skywalker. It may lead to the Resistance whereabouts as well."

The giant figure of Snoke tipped onto the back of his throne in thought.

"That might work, General…"

"I protest."

Ren's deep voice reverberated among the walls of the holographic chamber.

"Why not, my apprentice? Don't you want to find the Resistance?" Supreme Leader seemed amused by Ren's reaction.

Ren stepped forward, his voice sounding agitated, "I just protect what's mine, Master. The girl has just begun to trust me and made her first steps within the Dark Side. I don't want all the progress I had with her to be ruined by barbaric torture and interrogation."

"Well, General Hux... You see, Lord Ren doesn't want his apprentice to be interrogated. We need to find another way to find the base," Snoke leaned onto the armrest of his throne. "I'm glad your apprentice has progressed, Lord Ren. Do you have any more news for me?"

"No, Supreme Leader."

"Then you're dismissed. General Hux, I ask you to stay for a while."

Kylo Ren bowed and left the chamber. General Hux lifted his face towards the dark figure, who leaned forwards as well.

"Capture the girl while Lord Ren is somewhere far away from her. I'll give him and his Knights a short mission. You'll interrogate the scavenger while he is absent. Use any method you find appropriate, but be sure not to cripple her. I can't risk my apprentice's trust. If he catches you - I'll deny that I gave you the order. I won't protect you from his anger either. He's so obsessed with his tutelage; how can I take away his favorite toy?" The wrinkled lips of Supreme Leader Snoke expanded into the suspicion of a cruel smile.

"I'm your loyal servant, Supreme Leader," General Hux bowed before Snoke and his eyes glowed dangerously. _He would soon punish the girl for her disrespect. Who said revenge was a dish best served cold?_

* * *

 _ **A/N: Rey is playing with the Dark Side and Ren is mesmerized with her Light. Hmmm, those two either ruin each other or save each other.**_

 _ **Supreme Leader plays his puppets as usual ;)**_

 _ **Hux is horny ginger man. I dyed my hair ginger red today in his honor (seriously!)**_

 _ **I liked writing all those scoffing and taunting between Rey and Ren very, very much. There already is a fire between them, I think. And this dogfight with bare hands… There is something intimate in it.**_

 _ **Give me more reviews, my beloved readers, I need to feed my ego!**_


	8. Chapter 8 - Cats and Mice

_**A/N: Sweethearts, are you ready for another chapter? Girls feel especially productive this week ;)**_

* * *

 **Chapter 8.** **Cats and mice**

"Where are we heading, General?" Poe Dameron approached General Leia Organa. His head was bandaged, but he stood straight, despite the awful headache. He was perhaps not able to fly his X-wing due to his injury and exhaustion, but he definitely wasn't going to lie inside the crew quarters of the command shuttle in self-pity.

"We found a planet appropriate for us. It's dry and hot, but the atmosphere is breathable. It is also rather far from major hyperspace routes. There is an old Rebellion base there, conserved after the end of the Galactic Civil War. We will use it and reconstruct it to fit our needs." Leia sighed and crossed her arms on her chest, looking into the unfriendly space. For a moment she seemed small and old, but a few second later, Poe saw the confident General Organa he was so used to.

"I know it won't be easy to establish a new base again, but the Resistance will manage. We did it before and we'll do it again. We have the main resource we need - many brave people, believing in what they fight for," she turned around and looked into Poe's eyes.

"We will manage, General." Poe softly smiled. "Just give us some time."

She bit her lip in concern and shook her head, "Time is our worst enemy now. The First Order is searching for us and their spies do not just eat their bread. Until we establish a shelter we're weak and unprotected, like baby sputamas. And Rey… Stars, I am so worried for the girl."

"Do you believe what Luke said? That the First Order won't harm her?" Poe was also concerned for Rey, who sacrificed her freedom in exchange for their lives. He owed her one. He felt as though it was his duty to rescue her.

"Yes and no. I believe my son won't harm her, but the First Order will. But also, it depends on what you consider harmful. He'll definitely try to sway her to the Dark Side and her safety depends on her tenacity. "

Poe hesitated for a moment, "Maybe we should search for her. At least know where she is…"

"The Resistance is desperate for any pair of free hands, and as the General, I can't waste even one soldier to start searching for her. My woman's heart cries bloody tears, but as the General, I must stay strong. Luke supposes that we have some time and he's, you know, so _Jedi-_ ish calm. Jedi will always talk about the destiny and choices to make, all those lofty matters, but I see through his shell and I know he is worried for the girl too. But he has his reasons in not interfering in her new pupilage."

She turned around and watched the stars behind the thick glass of the shuttle window. They flew out of the hyperspace and headed towards their new home, not knowing what to expect from the hot planet of Atollon. Poe gazed at the stars too, but his thoughts didn't flow towards the planet or the new base. He thought of the young Jedi girl, stuck on the Star Destroyer lightyears away, all alone and surrounded by enemies.

-x-

Luke Skywalker sat on the floor of his quarters inside the command shuttle, breathing evenly, trying to find the answers through meditation. Rey's absence bothered him, although he tried not to show his anxiety in front of Leia or the other members of the Resistance. He was a calm and wise Jedi in public, as people needed him to be, but his heart never felt peace during the days following Rey's disappearance. He closed his eyes and dived into the flow of the Force, trying to reach his apprentice's consciousness with his will.

But Luke couldn't sense her individuality within the Force. He spread his thoughts, searching for the dark presence of Kylo Ren, but couldn't find him either. Instead of two individual force signatures, he felt a single one, consisting of two, connected to each other as if there was an umbilical cord between them. The Force was swirling angrily, flowing between them to and fro, and the darkness and light struggled to absorb each other. He immediately understood it must be his nephew and Rey, fighting for domination. There still was a distinction between the individual Force signatures and one of them still stayed light and the other dark, but they mixed intensively and aggressively through the bond between them and the area in between seemed grey as steel. Both vessels pulsated and pumped angrily like two hearts of an enormous creature, trying to consume each other, but failing every time.

"Luke."

He opened his eyes and saw the Force spirit of a tall man in Jedi attire standing in front of him. Luke immediately recognized his first mentor, even though it was not an old Ben Kenobi standing in front of him. A young Obi-Wan smiled at him, hiding his hands in the sleeves of his Jedi attire. _How he had missed Ben's guidance. It have been ages since they last talked._

"You need to allow your apprentice to fulfill her own destiny. She needs to make her own choice between Light and Dark." Obi-Wan sighed and continued with a shadow of pain in his voice, "Trust my experience. You cannot protect her from her own darkness if she decides to embrace it. She and the boy who bears my name must both to decide."

"But… Hadn't he already made his choice?" Luke's voice was full of doubt.

"You see her fighting _against_ him now. Give them some time and you'll see them fighting _for_ each other. The Force has connected them for a reason."

"What reason?" But Luke's question flew into nothingness for Master Obi-Wan disappeared, leaving behind more questions than answers.

-x-

"I'll be absent for a few days," Ren's voice betrayed his vexation.

Rey lifted her brow in surprise. They were sitting at the table while she was watching him fixing something on his lightsaber. He was concentrated in his work, his bare, skillful fingers palpating and disassembling parts. She always wondered why his lightsaber looked so different from hers - why it had those additional plasma blades and an ancient design. But the curiosity regarding his forthcoming absence won. He never left her for more than half of a day, so she felt both relieved and perplexed by the news of his near departure.

"Where are you going?"

"Mission for the Knights of Ren. No more questions on it."

He seemed to be in his usual sullen mood, and she could understand from his tone that the necessity to fly on a mission didn't make him feel any lighter. Ren was her only company on the Star Destroyer and she sometimes tried to engage him into conversation. Her time spent with the Resistance and Luke had spoiled her, and she became used to the company of other people. But the leader of the Knights of Ren could be considered the most unpredictable and moody creature in all Galaxy. Most of the time he was gloomy, resembling a big black bird, but sometimes, when they were not training, he talked with her about the heroes of the past and the ways of the Force with obvious pleasure. Rey never saw him in company of any other human, except General Hux, though she wouldn't consider Ren's relations with him friendly. She supposed that despite his closed nature, he found relief in talking to someone aside his subordinates. During those rare moments, his face smoothed and he looked very young. Sometimes, she caught herself at the thought that the flow of his speech, his sarcastic sense of humor, the way he brushed his curls behind with his fingers reminded her of Han Solo.

Today was not that kind of day, but at least, nothing prevented her from teasing him.

"Aren't I supposed to be your only mission?"

He raised his gaze from his work and frowned, looking at her, although not very annoyed.

"You're not the center of the Galaxy, Rey. Yes, I spend most of my time teaching you, but that doesn't mean that I'm free of my duties within the First Order. Now sit quietly, if you want to watch me fixing my lightsaber, or go to your room."

Sitting in her room was boring, so Rey decided not to push the subject and watched him work in silence. He removed the power cell from the handle and began to disassemble it. Rey saw a focusing shunt and a metal conductive plate of a harmonic energizer, connected to a metal cradle, and in between the cradle and three vents there was a red crystal, which, supposedly, was the main part of the blade. The crystal jumped out of the cell and hovered above Ren's opened palm, rotating around his own axis. Ren studied the crystal in detail and seemed satisfied with its condition.

"May I…" She stretched her palm shyly. Ren raised his brow, but nodded and the crystal floated towards Rey and hovered above her palm. It was crimson and she noticed a crack marring its surface. Now that it was not locked inside the saber, it seemed sleepy, only slightly glowing with a soft red light. The glowing was uneven and, she thought, the crystal resembled a heart of some small magical creature.

"Have you made the saber all by yourself?"

Ren smirked and tipped onto the back of his chair, "All younglings must construct their own lightsabers one day. It is a part of Jedi training."

"Did you construct this blade… you know… still being a Jedi?" Talking with him about such things was dangerous, but she couldn't help but ask. However, he didn't seem enraged with her question.

"No, I constructed it when I became a Knight of Ren. My previous saber stopped calling for me. I found the kyber crystal you're holding now inside one of Ilum's Crystal Caves and I possessed it." She had talked with Luke about kyber crystals and knew that each crystal was attuned to its owner: therefore the lightsaber became the perfect weapon for the warrior.

"Why is it cracked?" The split on the crystal's surface glowed brighter than the other parts of the crystal.

"The crack brings more power to the blade, but also makes it unstable. The power of this cracked crystal is so big that I needed to construct the additive vents to prevent an explosion due to its excess power." The conversation became a little more fluent and he looked pleased with her interest. "These are the two sides of the same coin - the more powerful a lightsaber is, the higher is the possibility to lose your hand. Therefore, I need to check the crystal regularly in order not to miss the moment the crack becomes too big."

"I thought you designed your blade with a crossguard because you're old-fashioned," She never missed an opportunity to tweak him. But talking of his lightsaber lightened his mood a little, so the corner of his mouth curled.

"Yeah, I am old-fashioned. But you cannot deny its effectiveness - it protects my hand while fighting and also brings additional damage to the enemy."

The red glowing mesmerized her, but she shook her head and returned the crystal to Ren. He inserted it into its cell and began assembling the handle. He must have done it many times, because his movements looked confident and routine. The unspoken question itched on the tip of her tongue and she decided to speak it aloud.

"Will you teach me to build my own saber too?"

Of course, she prefered Luke teaching her to do it. But Luke was far away and she didn't know for how long she would be stuck on the Finalizer. _Did it matter who taught her how to make a lightsaber? The goal certainly justified the means_.

Ren seemed astonished by her question. He didn't answer for a few seconds and when he finally did, his tone contained a trace of strong emotion and agitation.

"You need to train in deep meditation first. Building a lightsaber demands a strong concentration and enormous amount of energy, but I'll teach you this. We can start practicing when I return from the mission." He paused for a moment and continued in a low voice, "This is the first time you asked me to teach you something, you know."

Rey didn't know how to answer, feeling a mix of conflicting emotions. She parted her lips and then shut her mouth without saying a single word, embarrassed. Ren must have felt her turmoil and decided to put her out of this misery.

"In my absence, I strongly recommend you to stay in the quarters and not attempt to escape from the ship." His tone became stiff again, "You can use my holoreaders and my training simulator. I'll even customize my training droid for you. I... appreciate the relations we established, so I won't leave any guards. Keeping your promise to me is a matter of honor. But you must know that if you decide to break your word, I'll immediately sense it through the bond. Do not expect me to be merciful. Understood?"

She nodded, impressed that he decided not to leave guards. She had supposed that during his absence, he would be treating her as a prisoner, and his intent to rely on her word both pleased and scared her. _Did he really trust her or was it some sort of a trap?_ Her thoughts must have been written on her face, so he shrugged his shoulders, attaching the assembled saber to his belt and rising from the chair.

"I'm just keeping my word. I promised you a choice and the choice is always there. It is not only about which side of the Force you use or the color of clothing you prefer, or what type of weapon you fight with. It's about who you are. Are you a Jedi who honors her word? Or a scavenger who doesn't need to do it? Or maybe somebody else? You decide."

Rey chewed her lip in thought. In fact, the idea of escaping didn't lure her as strongly as before nor did it feel right. She decided to convince herself that building her own lightsaber was worth more than the opportunity to escape.

"You know we had a deal," replied Rey. "Now, hasn't somebody spoken of a training droid? I desperately need somebody to fight until your return."

-x-

The days following Ren's absence flew lazy and slow. She never realized how much animation he brought into her life with their fights, their trainings and their conversations. Her days now consisted of the same activities, but she found out, much to her dismay, that she got used to their fights so much that the days devoid of them felt incomplete. She trained with the training droid he adjusted for her, but it didn't bring her the drive she felt fighting with Ren. He could hardly be characterized as a talkative person, but he was at least a semblance of company. Now, her only company were two droids, one bringing her meals and the other training her.

In one of these routine days, she came out of the shower, clothed in fresh clothes, brushing her still wet hair with a comb. A familiar beeping droid waited for her with the evening tray.

"Hello, little one. Thank you again for feeding me," she smiled, feeling fresh and relaxed after the shower. She didn't know if she would ever get used to the running water, which, unlike on Jakku, didn't need to be saved.

The droid beeped something in return. She asked him, still having the smile on her lips.

"What? What're we talking about? Why do you say that you're sorry?"

The droid approached her, beeping simultaneously and stopped near her leg.

"What? They've reprogrammed you? Wha-"

The droid stretched his manipulator hand, beeping something in apology and she felt a strike of electric jolt passing through her body while everything went black.

-x-

Rey woke up in what looked like the same interrogation device she found herself strapped to during her first visit on the Finalizer. Her arms and legs were tied and, unlike the previous time, her eyes were blinded with some sort of dark material.

"Oh, c'mon, that's not funny!"

"Who said it would be?"

The voice of General Hux approached her from somewhere aside. She felt a chill travel down her spine. The ginger bastard waited for the right time and came for his revenge. But he left out the fact that he was dealing with a Force-sensitive.

" _You will free me_."

But instead of the click of her fixators she heard only the scoffing laughter of Hux.

"My poor Jedi nestling, didn't you know that for performing your little mind-tricks you need a weak-minded victim?"

 _Kriff_. He was right. _But how could he know that, not being Force-sensitive?_

"Set me free, you bastard!"

"Why should I?" He was teasing her, talking to her like she was just an insolent child, "I just want to talk and this lovely device will help us in our conversation because I can't simply take what I want from people's minds, as Ren does. Nevertheless, my methods are no less effective." His voice reverberated from the walls of the chamber and Rey couldn't understand where he stood. Suddenly, his voice sounded very close to her. He whispered directly into her ear, and she felt his hot breath burning the sensitive skin of her neck, "Let us play a little game of questions and answers and if you're willing to help, I won't _persuade_ you too hard." He withdrew and she felt a cold bead of perspiration sliding down her spine. She was helpless and crucified on the device, blinded, unable to defend herself.

"What do you want?"

"Tsk-tsk, scavenger, I am the one questioning here."

His location changed again and Rey suspected he was pacing around in circles, like a cat watching the mouse in a mousetrap. She heard his voice again, suave but bearing the note of triumph. He was obviously enjoying the game.

"Where is the new Resistance base?"

Rey was absolutely thrown off balance with the question.

"What? I don't know! I was already here when the Resistance changed their location!"

A strike of a current passed through her body and she cried out from pain.

"That's the wrong answer, girl. I know that you, so-called Force-sensitives, can communicate with each other through the Force." Hux sounded very confident, "Luke Skywalker was your teacher, although you're now warming Ren's bed and calling him your Master. Where's Luke Skywalker?"

"I don't know! If you think that we can just call on each other's brains, as if it is the holonet, you're wrong!"

"Am I? Or am I not persuasive enough?"

Another strike of current passed through her body and she clenched her teeth in pain. But this time the torture lasted longer and she couldn't help but cry out again.

"Find Skywalker for me, girl, or I'll bake your brain slowly. Poor little scavenger," Hux said in a sing-song voice _,_ "No menacing Lord Kylo Ren here to rescue his little Jedi princess, so either you cooperate or the level of pain will be lifted."

As a proof to his words a heavy strike passed through her spine, while she screamed because of the unbearable pain.

 _Help me… Somebody, please, help me..._

"Where is Skywalker?! Search him with your brain or whatever you use for your Jedi tricks!" Hux's voice was now nowhere near insinuating: he was demanding and goal-oriented, and Rey understood that he wouldn't stop torturing her until she gave him what he wanted or blackened out.

"I can't do this!" she shouted, hoping to get the message to him, "Sometimes, we sense each other through the Force, but it is not 'dimensional'! We can feel if the person is near or far, nothing more!"

"You liar. I have information which proves that you can locate Skywalker. You can and you will do it for me," he again sounded dangerously calm. "A little more pain for the lady?"

Now the pain was so intense she couldn't help but scream, unable to hold herself. It was as if somebody inserted thick needles into every single one of her bones. Her mind was strong, but her body betrayed her.

 _Somebody… Please… Ben, please… I can't take it, it's too much for me…Ben..._

"HUX! I'LL KILL YOU!"

She heard the familiar voice of Ren, full of rage and shock. The waves of fury which emanated from him were almost palpable. She also felt a strong flow of guilt, shame and... something else. Through the dimout of pain inside her head she heard a loud thud and heard a cry, followed by the sound of choking.

"Ren! For the love of the Force, leave him and switch off the current!" She cried, her body arching in agony. It passed through her body, tearing every cell of it, twitching her spine into a tight knot.

Rey heard somebody rushing towards her and the pain stopped. The fixators on her hands and legs clicked open and she fell forward, not able to stand on her own. She would have fallen onto the floor but somebody's strong hands grasped her, preventing her from collapsing. She felt the blinding cloth being removed from her face and through the dizziness she saw a familiar mask. He knelt, holding her. _Were his hands trembling?_

"I called you… And you came for me," she whispered at the edge of her consciousness.

"I was near. We completed our mission earlier than I expected. Stay with me, Rey, don't pass out, listen to my voice. The pain will pass and you'll feel better."

She thought that she had grown unaccustomed to hearing the sound of his voice through the mask; he always put it off in her presence. He obviously had knowledge of the interrogation system, for soon, she felt a little better. Rey withdrew and stood up, standing on her uncertain feet. She made a step and certainly would have fallen down, if it wasn't for her sensing Ren's gloved hand supporting her.

"I can walk on my own," she tried to protest, although weakly.

"Of course you can. I just don't want you to bust your nose in the corridors of the ship." His voice sounded soothing, almost caring, as if he was talking to a petulant child.

She didn't remember afterwards how she managed to walk to her room with Ren's support and how she climbed into her bed, immediately falling asleep.

* * *

 _ **A/N: Yeeeesss, interrogation scene with bad bad Huxy (dear Guest who wrote me in review that you wait for Ren to kick Hux's ass, hope I satisfied your bloodlust at least partially). The Knight in his black armors rescued the lady (almost she got a little spanking) and the plot definitely goes towards… ahem ahem… something. If you like interrogations (and don't mind a bit of violence) reveal us your little dirty secrets in reviews ;) xo xo**_

 _ **PS Did you recognize the planet the Resistance is heading for?**_


	9. Chapter 9 - Corellian Apple

_**A/N: As I promised, new chapter for you today! (although it's almost night in my country)**_

 _ **Who asked me of my publishing schedule: I have no schedule in particular =) Some chapters are quick to write and I just can spend half of the night writing 'in the same breath', and some are very difficult and I need to have some time to think, to make the plot logical. Also, don't forget that we do additional editing (when I tell 'we' I mean my darksider pal Darth Retailation). Sometimes to write the chapter I need to sit and do some planning or research. I'm trying to publish one chapter per three days at least, but I can't promise, that I'll continue doing in with the same rhythm (because I work full time).**_

 _ **This chapter will certainly break some hearts and give a clue to understanding some characters… Enjoy, no spoilers provided! =))**_

* * *

 **Chapter 9. Corellian Apple**

"Breathe in, breathe out." Rey heard his voice repeating the same mantra over and over.

"I am trying, you know! No need to repeat, I understood," she answered with a note of annoyance in her voice.

"Look, I know Skywalker taught you to meditate." Ren's tone was strict, but devoid of anger. "And I'll do him justice - he taught you as well as he could teach such a stubborn and unwilling padawan. But if you want to make your own lightsaber, your level of meditation is not enough. You will need to meditate for days. Right now, you can only manage to do it for a few hours. Now, we'll do it again. Breathe in, breathe out."

She sighed and tried to concentrate. They were sitting cross-legged on the floor of the training space, face to face. Rey closed her eyes and tried to meditate, but her thoughts flew towards a completely different direction.

When she woke up next morning, Ren behaved as if nothing happened and was strict and demanding with her as usual. She tried to ask him about Hux, but those questions only pushed him further into his already gloomy mood. From the scanty phrases she managed to draw out of him, she understood that the General was still alive and the interrogation incident was meant to be forgotten by both sides. This slightly offended her, but Rey understood that Ren didn't need an overt conflict with the First Order and she respected his will. He saved her from torture, after all. His rescue became the main subject of her thoughts. _Had he heard her pleas through their Bond? Or had just found her missing and came to search?_

Thoughts of Ren didn't give her the opportunity to concentrate on meditation, so Rey slightly opened one of her eyes and sneaked a look at his face and caught his persistent gaze. She immediately felt embarrassed that he'd caught her staring at him.

"I'll never learn to meditate properly. I just can't concentrate," she mumbled, chagrined at her failure. She began to stand up but suddenly felt his hand on her own. It felt like a strike of current through her body.

"Don't give up so easily. Come, I'll help you." His voice held a shadow of an unknown emotion, but he didn't take away his hand. Rey returned to her previous pose. They faced each other, holding hands, and Rey had to admit it felt… rather pleasant. He stretched the other hand towards her and she put her palm into his hesitantly.

His hands felt very warm. His index finger lightly touched her pulse point near the wrist and she sensed a new wave of current passing through her body. _What was it?_ She had held hands with Finn and Luke before, but it never felt so torturously pleasant. _Was she doing something forbidden, holding hands with her enemy?_ Rey tried to convince herself that it was just a method to help her learn. His thumb started caressing her knuckles. She felt the soft song of their force bond, becoming louder in her head with each second.

Rey looked into his eyes with mixed feelings, trying to read his thoughts. For a moment, she could swear that she noticed the same feeling she saw during their battle on Starkiller Base. _Longing_. But that moment passed, and he was once again again her strict teacher.

"Close your eyes and concentrate, let the bond guide you. I will meditate with you and our physical contact will strengthen the connection. I'll stay with you as long as I can and then release you. Then, you'll try to stay in meditation on your own."

She nodded and closed her eyes, opening herself to the bond and feeling him doing the same. His dark presence was very close. They were like a pair of connecting vessels, as flows of their power met and surged somewhere upwards, into the universe, mixing and interlacing. She had never opened the bond willingly to him before: now, his energy felt like a hot blow of liquid metal. _An erupting volcano, throwing lava to the atmosphere_. _A forest fire, dangerous and merciless, spreading fast among the trees._

Suddenly she felt something unfamiliar. _A deep blue ocean_. Rey realized that their connection had become so strong that she could sense how he saw her Force energy inside himself. _A cold mountain river, whirling and boiling on the rocks_. _Heavy rain, falling on the ground, bringing life to plants_. His grip on her hand became tighter and she understood that he saw her visions too. _Hot boiling geyser flowing into the sky from the depths of the earth_. Fire and water were at last one. They ascended higher and higher and then melted together in the universe in deep meditation.

Kylo Ren exhaled slowly, opened his eyes and released the girl's hands. She breathed evenly, sitting in front of him motionless as a statue. Suddenly she raised her hands, holding her palms parallel to each other. _What was going on? He thought this would be a training meditation_. He heard a bumping sound on the door of her room. Ren stood up and opened the door. His grandfather's lightsaber flew towards the girl and began to disassemble with light clicks. Soon, between Rey's hands flew some metal scraps and in the center of the sphere, formed by them, rotated a cyber crystal, shining deep blue as an ocean. An ocean like herself.

Ren felt the soft song of the crystal. As their bond had become stronger, the blade had begun to call to him, but not as strongly as it called to her. Its hum sounded like an echo in the mountains, weak, but beautiful. He searched his feelings, but to his surprise, he didn't find any jealousy. It was her saber now, and they were destined together.

Slowly her staff flew out of her room and began to disassemble too. Ren chuckled; he already knew that she wouldn't want a simple saber. A double bladed lightsaber would be the perfect weapon for her.

He went to his room, and prepared himself to wait a long time.

-x-

He went out several times to check her and to give her some water.

When he entered for the first time, he understood that making her drink would be not so simple. She sat unmoving, her eyes shut and her lips closed. He sighed and looked at the glass of water he was holding in his hands. _Okay, that's the challenge_. He knelt and gently put his palm behind her nape, under the lowest of her buns to support her head, and slightly shivered from the sensation. The tiny hairs at the back of her head were smooth and tender and the skin of her neck felt incredibly soft. He brought the glass towards her lips and made her drink a bit.

Ren had made his saber himself and nobody was there to give him water. He remembered the terrible thirst he felt when he woke up alone from the meditation. _At least she wouldn't suffer from dehydration_. The scraps of metal continued to flow around her, assembling with soft clicks.

Rey meditated for three whole days. On the third day, he found the girl sitting on the floor, holding her new saber in both hands. She looked exhausted and pale, with deep, dark circles under her eyes. Both blades of the saberstaff were glowing blue.

Rey saw him coming out of his room and heard her own hoarse whisper.

"Isn't it beautiful?"

But she didn't hear his answer. The room began to rotate around her, and suddenly, everything went black.

-x-

Rey woke up in her bed dizzy and disoriented. She didn't remember how she reached her room. She was still clothed in the black stormtrooper clothing which was usually worn under the armor. Ren brought it the second day after her arrival. She was grateful, because sharing his clothes seemed too intimate and her Jakku attire was the only garb she brought with her. She looked under the blanket and understood that despite the fact that she had stayed dressed, her boots were gone. Rey searched the room with her eyes but couldn't find them. Strange. She put her bare feet onto the floor and went out of the room and towards the hall.

Kylo Ren was standing in front of the window, hands crossed on his chest, seemingly deep in thoughts. The table was set for two and he was obviously waiting for somebody. They never shared meals as she did with Luke, and she supposed that the person he waited for wasn't her. She began to move back towards her room, but the loud grumble of her stomach gave her away. He turned his head and noticed her.

"Okay-okay, I'm going away, I just can't find my boots," she mumbled, embarrassed by the way her stomach reacted on the view of food. He raised one of his brows.

"And where are you going?"

"To my room. I don't want to hinder your date or business meal or whatever it is, but I desperately need something to put on onto my feet."

It must have been a funny declaration, because he threw his head back and laughed. Rey never saw him laughing. He was a dangerous enemy and a strict teacher, but not a laughing young man she could now see before her eyes.

"Seriously, Rey, a date? You thought that while you were asleep I brought here some girl to woo? We are on the damn Finalizer, the Resurgent-class Star Destroyer, in the middle of a war, and a girl tells me that she doesn't want to hinder _my date_." He snorted and pointed on one of the chairs, his shoulders shill shaking from the laughter, "I ordered the droids to bring the food for you, because you starved for three days making your saber. I was thinking of having my meal too, so I supposed that sharing it wouldn't be a crime." He suddenly became serious. "But if you don't want to share it with me, we can…"

"No, it's okay. No date, just food," She was already sitting at the table, chewing a big corellian apple. _Stars, it is delicious_. Rey studied her bare feet and asked. "You know, I don't remember what happened after I finished my lightsaber."

"You passed out from exhaustion."

"And then?"

"What… then?" _What was it on his face? Was it… embarrassment?_

"Yes. I found myself in my bed without my boots."

He sighed and put away the utensils.

"Okay. When you passed out, I decided that leaving you on the cold floor wouldn't be the best idea. I carried you to your room and took off your boots. They were so old that I fetched for the droid and ordered it to bring you a new pair. But a pair of your size is not very easy to find, so the droid must be searching for a long time now."

She thought that she was supposed to be mad at him because of discarding her property, but instead, all she could think of was him carrying her to her room in his arms. The thought felt improper and dangerous, but she couldn't help herself. Silence lingered and she decided not to push the subject any further.

"Uhm… okay. Just make sure the droid finds a new pair or I'll stay barefeet."

He seemed relieved. They ate in silence for a few minutes. Finally, she pushed her dish away, unable to swallow another piece of food.

"What now? Sparring?"

"No. I think you're not ready yet. I know you want to try fighting with your new lightsaber, but let your body rest a bit. Instead of sparring, let me teach you a Dark Side technique. At least you don't need boots to use it. ." Rey suddenly felt a lump in her throat. _There it was, the Dark side of the Force. Don't forget who your current teacher really is._ He felt her hesitation.

"You know, I keep my promises. I give you a choice. I'll teach it to you, but to use it or not is up to you."

Her hand lifted in a reflex and touched the tip of the padawan braid resting on her chest. _The Dark side would not seduce her. Never_. _She would remain loyal to her true Master_. Rey knew that Kylo Ren saw her gesture. A shadow of jealousy passed through his eyes, but he said nothing. He took an apple from the table.

"Close your eyes."

She obeyed and heard his quick steps as he moved away. When she opened her eyes, the apple was gone. She heard his deep voice.

"I'll teach you mind probing. I hid the apple somewhere in the quarters. Your goal is to learn where I hid it from my mind. Don't try to look deep: think about the apple, search for it." Ren's tone suddenly became harsh. "And don't try to learn anything personal from my mind, or I'll push you away. That would be painful."

They sat face to face on the floor as usual, legs crossed. Rey exhaled and closed her eyes, trying to reach his mind with her will. She sensed their connection in the force and embraced it, letting the bond guide her. _Apple, apple, think about the apple_. Suddenly she felt herself flowing in the ocean of his thoughts and emotions. _Got it_. She visualized the apple in her mind, trying to dampen his other thoughts. She saw a blurred picture of him, moving across the hall with an apple in his palm, but the picture seemed as if she was watching it from far away. She extended her mind, trying to reach the picture, to fly toward it. It began to move closer and closer and Rey felt proud of herself. _Show me the apple_. The picture was drawing near faster and faster and she felt a shadow of discomfort. _Why couldn't she see it clearly?_ Rey intensified the pressure, and suddenly, the picture of Kylo Ren holding the apple shivered and broke into pieces while she flew through it and fell into the depth of his memories.

-x-

"Daddy, daddy, look!"

They stood in a hangar, and the familiar silhouette of the Millennium Falcon was towering before her. A dark-haired boy, dabbled in engine oil, stood before a young man wiping his hands from the oil. The boy was laughing and above his small dirty hands levitated a big corellian apple.

"Look, daddy, it's a planet! And that's the Millennium Falcon!"

Rey noticed a small scrap of metal, rotating around the apple. She chuckled. The boy obviously had a fantasy. But the young man, whom she immediately recognized as Han Solo, didn't look very pleased with the little show.

"Don't play with your breakfast, son," Han chided the boy. "Don't you remember what happened the last time when you levitated things? The battery exploded in your arms and you were lucky to still have all your fingers."

"But, daddy, I can…"

"I repeat, don't do it, Ben. You can be dangerous for both yourself and others."

The corellian apple fell onto the floor. Rey sensed Ben's disappointment. Their bond had become so strong she could feel his emotions even in his memories.

The picture suddenly changed. Rey was standing with the boy behind a door, which was slightly opened. Ben was very quiet, so Rey supposed that he was listening to the conversation behind the door. She looked into the small opening and saw Han and Leia, much younger than she remembered them. They were arguing about something.

"...But Han! He is Force-sensitive, just come to terms with it! My father was a Sith, my brother is a Jedi. What did you expect from our son?"

"I know, I know, but... can't he be normal, like the other boys are? You are Force-sensitive too, but you don't levitate things or listen to some voices in your head!

Leia sighed and sat on the chair, rubbing her forehead.

"I don't have even a hundredth part of his power. He is the heir of the Skywalker legacy."

"I never wanted him to be one," Han seemed angry. Leia stood up, seemingly wounded by his words.

"Sometimes I look at you and I start doubting you ever wanted to become a father at all! You're always flying away from all the problems on the Falcon, leaving us behind!"

"You knew who you married, Princess! I'm a smuggler and I can't live without space or travelling. It is in my blood! Besides that, you're always busy with your political issues. What do you expect me to do? To sit at home and to wait for my busy wife to return from another 'very important for the sake of the Galaxy' meeting?"

"Our son needs a father, Han!"

"Doesn't the kid need a mother too, huh? I know that you're ashamed of me, Leia. But those walls choke me, I need to travel! I wanted to take Ben with me but you never allowed it."

"Because it is dangerous for him. He is just five years old! Besides, I never wanted him to become a smuggler."

"And what did you want him to become? A princess? And now he's begun levitating everything he sees and he speaks of voices inside his head like a madman. I'll tell you the truth, Leia, I am afraid of him and for him. We need to do something with it." Han's tone turned to almost pleading. He took Leia's hand and their postures seemed to become softer. They obviously were still in love with each other, despite all the fights. She hugged him.

"I don't want to send him away." Her voice sounded low, trembling with suppressed tears.

Rey heard a cry near her leg. The boy opened the door and rushed towards his parents, hiding his face in his mother's skirt, sobbing.

"Mommy, daddy, please, don't send me away, I'll be good! I won't levitate things anymore. I'll be normal, daddy, please, don't send me away!"

Leia hugged her crying son.

"Shh, darling, nobody will send you away. Don't cry."

Han stretched his hand and stroked the boy's wild black curls with embarrassment written on his face. He tried to cheer the boy.

"Hey, kid, wanna do some piloting?"

Children's tears were as always quick to dry and Ben immediately stopped sobbing and nodded enthusiastically, stretching his small hand towards his father. Han took his hand, and winked to Leia.

"Will Mommy let us fly a bit?"

Leia smiled through the tears glistening inside her beautiful brown eyes, "Okay, but not for too long."

They left the quarters and headed towards the hangar.

"I'll warm the engines, you join me, okay?" Han released the boy's hand and headed towards the hangar with a quick pace.

 _They don't want you_.

Rey heard a whisper inside her head. Little Ben Solo froze to the spot.

"I won't listen to you, go away," his voice was shaking.

 _They don't want you. They fight all the time because of you._

"No, you're lying."

"Ben! Are you coming?" Rey heard Han calling out from the hangar.

The boy shook his head and ran towards the opened doors. Rey didn't follow him, and watched his tiny figure disappear behind the huge doors instead, all the while listening to the last shadow of a whisper they both heard inside their heads.

 _Your parents don't love you. You ruined their lives. They'll send you away_.

And Rey knew they did.

-x-

Rey was thrown away from his mind like a cork from a bottle. She saw fury in his eyes and understood that her life was in danger. She knew that she found the wrong apple among his memories, and now, this apple could have her lose everything. He was already standing on his feet, dangerous and enraged, fists clenched.

"What have I told you about personal memories, girl?!"

"It was not my intention! I tried too hard and found another corellian apple inside your mind. Who knew you're so keen on fruit?" _At least he taught her to always have a sharp tongue_.

"What have you seen?" Since he didn't show her the memory intentionally, he didn't know how much she had managed to see. Ren was approaching her while she was retreating, until she felt a wall behind her back. Rey thought about calling her lightsaber, but she didn't remember where it was. Ren remained unarmed and it gave her hope. He was towering over her, leaning onto the wall over her shoulder with his hand and his eyes could burn a hole in her face. She saw rage and shame inside them and again - longing. Always longing of a lonely boy who grew into a lonely man. _Must she push him away with the Force?_ She closed her eyes and did the only thing which seemed right at the moment.

She raised on her bare tiptoes and kissed him.

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 _ **A/N: DAT'S A SPACE KISS BABES! You deserved it, my kittens. But who knows, what happens next? I'm no type of fluffy writer, you've already understood it, haven't you?… XD**_

 _ **Writing about Ben's childhood always tears my heart apart.**_

 _ **I foresee the questions about Hux's destiny… So, Rey thinks that Ren left things as they are not to have a conflict. Maybe the boy got wiser? ;)**_

 _ **That's certainly one of my favorite chapters I wrote so far. If you experienced 'emotional rollercoaster', as my beta characterized it, don't behave like young daddy Han Solo – don't just fly away and write some words in the window under the chapter called 'Review'.**_

 _ **And remember, who writes me as a Guest – I can't answer you, seriously. So to get answers for your questions you need to wait until I publish the next chapter. Or sometimes I publish a review to my own fic (sounds weird) where I answer to your questions, although I can't publish more than 1 review per chapter.**_

 _ **Love you, my readers**_

 _ **Xo xo**_

 _ **Ronny**_


	10. Chapter 10 - Behind the Mask

_**A/N: I won't write anything before the chapter this time. Just enjoy. And remember, that the fic is rated M.**_

* * *

 **Chapter 10. Behind the Mask**

He seemed frozen to the spot and utterly shocked. He didn't even respond to her kiss. Blood was pumping heavily in her ears and her heart was beating as if it was going to burst. _What was she doing?_ Panic flew through her mind, and she decided to stop the kiss before it became something _important_. She then felt his lips shudder and he kissed her back.

It wasn't a gentle kiss at all. It was passionate, almost desperate and she twined her arms around his neck, searching for support. He deepened the kiss, pinning her up against the wall and Rey softly moaned into his mouth. She was a novice in terms of what usually happened between men and women - Jakku was not a suitable place to find a lover. So, she just let him lead whatever was going to happen. She split her lips and felt his demanding tongue entering, searching for hers, and she shivered from the deep sensation.

The song of their Force bond was incredibly beautiful at that moment, strong and splendid. He was an open book for her while they shared this kiss and she felt his mixed feelings and thoughts. She opened eye to study him and saw that his eyes were closed tight, as if he was preparing to jump into nothingness this very moment. _I like it, Ben_. He shivered at her sentence but didn't recoil. His birth name was right. It felt right at this strange moment. He touched her cheek gently and she leaned into his large palm.

But as everything good comes to an end, he stopped kissing her. Rey opened her eyes and saw everything in his gaze - his fear, his hope, his hesitation. She never saw him so vulnerable before.

Suddenly, she heard a shadow of a voice inside her head, a dark memory which leaked through their strengthened bond.

"Y _ou have compassion for her. It isn't her strength that is making you fail. It's your weakness"._

Rey understood it was one of his conversations with Snoke. Ren's face changed. He was again building the walls and lifting his shields.

"We'll never do this again."

Despite being bare faced, when she looked at his face, his real mask was on him again. Not the physical mask, but the emotional cocoon he used to live in. She opened her mouth, not knowing what answer to give, but he raised his hand in a stopping gesture.

"Don't," his tone was harsh. "This was a mistake, an impulse. We won't speak of it."

She had no choice but to nod silently.

Ren pointed towards the door of her room, his voice devoid of emotion, "Go to your room. Find something to occupy yourself. We won't practice today, and you'll stay in your room until we decide what do with you next." That word - _we_ \- reminded her of everything. They were on the Finalizer. She sacrificed her freedom for the lives of her friends, who he tortured and was willing to murder if she didn't join him. He was a murderer and her enemy. That _we_ meant _We - The First Order,_ and not _we - you and I_.

Rey turned around and ran into her room, pressing her palm to her mouth to suppress tears of shame. The beauty kissed the beast, but no miracle happened and the war still was shaking the Galaxy. The beast stayed the beast. She heard the click of the electronic lock on the door.

Finally, she became a prisoner.

-x-

"We need to find her."

Finn was pacing around the room nervously, rubbing his hands.

The Resistance finally settled down. The old Rebellion base on Atollon welcomed its new host, and gave the Resistance the shelter it desperately needed. It resembled the one left behind on D'Qar and had already begun to live its buzzing life. Despite this, many things still needed to be done or finished up - new hangars, new quarters and communications.

"We don't even know where to start searching, buddy," said Poe to Finn.

"We need to start somewhere! Not sit on Atollon and wait for Kylo Ren to kill her or to give her a brainwash," Finn felt that time was playing against them. "If you won't go, I'll go by myself."

"General Organa won't approve of it. You're a pilot now and the pilot must obey the orders of his general."

"To hell with all orders the in the galaxy! I am fed up with orders."

Finn came towards his friend and clutched his shoulders, "Remember, she saved your life, pal. You owe her. We both do."

Dameron seemed convinced by the words. He sighed and rubbed his forehead. "Okay, okay, we need to establish a plan."

"Thank you, Poe, it means a lot to me," Finn tapped Poe's shoulder, "We'll start from Takodana. If there's a place where we can find the information about Rey, it's Maz Kanata's cantina. All rumors of the galaxy are concentrated in that place."

"You are right, Finn. I owe her my life. Besides, I know that your feelings for the girl are far from friendship," Poe winked.

"Shut up, you," Finn looked embarrassed by the teasing. "We're friends, nothing more."

Poe threw up his hands in pretended defense, "Just friends, understood." His face became serious, "But we need at least to inform the General about our rescue plan. We can't just take a fighter and fly away."

Finn sighed. Informing General Organa made things more complicated.

"Okay, let's tell her. But I'll go anyway, with her blessing or without it. I need to find Rey."

Poe hugged his friend's shoulders.

"We'll find her, buddy. We definitely will. She will be all right."

-x-

Ren didn't come for her the next day. And the day after that. And after. She was stuck in her small room all alone. Only the droid which brought her food three times a day and holo readers were a distraction for her troubled mind.

On the fourth night, Rey decided to escape. The four walls of her chamber brought gloom to her, as if she was shut in a coffin. There was nothing to keep her on the Finalizer - no hostages, no threat for the Resistance. She wondered what kept her before, but she couldn't admit to herself that deep inside, she knew the answer. She opened the door mechanism with a fork and cut the wires with her lightsaber. _So be it_. She'd escape and forget all this like a nightmare. Rey didn't know how she would find the Resistance, but decided to deal with one problem at a time. The main goal now was to be as far as she could be from _him_.

The hall was dark and silent. She didn't have anything aside from the lightsaber to lighten her path, but it didn't give much light, allowing her only to see her feet, so she sneaked with her hand stretched forward. After a few steps, someone switched on the dim light behind her back.

Ren was sitting on one of the chairs beside the long table, half-turned towards her. The lamp threw shadows on his face, making him look almost alien. He was rid of his usual attire, sleeves of his tunic turned upwards, revealing his forearms. His hair looked messy, and she again noticed dark circles under his eyes, distinguishable even in dim light of the lamp.

"Han Solo always said his home planet produced two things: spaceships and brandy," he raised his hand and she saw a glass with a golden-brown liquid splashing inside. He wiggled the glass and she heard a clink of ice cubes inside it. Rey stood tense, expecting him to try to stop her from escaping. But he didn't move from his chair: he drank a bit and waved his hand solemnly.

"C'mon, Rey, run away, I won't stop you," he didn't sound angry, only… sad. "You won, girl. Just leave."

She stood in hesitation, surprised by his lack of reaction. The exit was luring her, but something in his appearance didn't let her go.

"Why are you drinking?"

"To get drunk, of course."

A bitter smirk appeared on his lips. He had a special type of dry humor, almost sarcastic, making people feel out of sorts. She decided to try again.

"And why do you need to be drunk?"

"Because I need to forget."

"Forget what?"

He didn't answer and took another sip from the glass and looked at the lamp through the golden liquid. When he spoke again, his voice was trembling a bit.

"Four damn days I tried to convince myself that everything is like before. That we can still train as teacher and student. But nothing's like before. _Who_ are you, Rey? _What_ are you? I never felt so weak. _You_ made me weak. I was sure that you'd stand by my side as my apprentice, immersed in the Dark side of the Force. That I'd break you. I knew I was stronger in the Force and I'd beat you in our 'connecting vessels' game. But it seems that you broke me. I feel the pull to the Light even stronger than before. The moment we kissed, I realised that I can't teach you anymore, because you infected me with your Light. I killed my father so I wouldn't feel that pull anymore, you know." A pained grimace twitched his features. Alcohol obviously loosened his self-restraints, although he didn't seem drunk at all. She saw turmoil in his eyes. He wasn't Ben Solo anymore. But he wasn't Kylo Ren either. He continued.

"You ruined everything. I feel as though something pulls me towards you, and I feel the Light calling me. I stood in the night, and that was my place. Now, I hear your song in the darkness. It tempts me. It is torture. I feel torn apart again."

He dropped his head onto his hands. She heard his whisper, "I wish I never met you. Just leave me. Go to your Resistance friends."

He was obviously breaking in front of her eyes. He was sitting at the table, his back to her, his head on his arms. She couldn't help but feel compassion for him. Rey cautiously approached him and touched his shoulder.

Everything happened in a matter of seconds. She found herself sitting on his lap, his lips ravishing hers in a desperate kiss. Rey felt a sweet dizziness. He kissed her as if it was his last will before execution, as if there would be no tomorrow. He tasted a little sweet and slightly heady from the brandy, but it was a pleasant taste. The light smell of expensive alcohol mixed with his own masculine smell created a mind-boggling mix. Ren raised his hands and undid her buns, combing her brown locks with his long, slender fingers. His hands stroked her back then, and she felt a wave of desire passing through her body. She kissed him back passionately, forgetting the four days she spent alone in her room. He was a strange, unpredictable man. But he was holding her tight and the last thing she wanted now was him to release her. Nothing else mattered except two people in an empty dark hall.

"Please, let me have you. I'll go mad if I don't have you, Rey. Be mine for this night," she heard his breathless whisper. She took his head in her small palms and inhaled the smell of his hair.

"Come with me, Ben. To the Resistance. Your mother misses you."

He shook his head.

"It's too late. I've been gone for too long. They'll never accept me. Don't forget who I am. A killer, an enemy. As for my mother… I killed her husband. She will never forgive me."

"But…"

He silenced her with a kiss.

"Sshhh, don't think about that. All we have now is tonight. In the morning, we'll wake up enemies again and you'll run to the nearest hangar, take the TIE-fighter and fly as far as you can. We'll continue to be who we truly are. If you stay, I'll kill you with my own hand, because this is what I must do. In fact, I must take you to Snoke, but I won't do it, because what he'll do to you is worse than death itself. And I can't allow it. It's better to kill you fast and without pain. As my attempts to sway you failed, you're too dangerous to stay alive. Run, don't make me choose between you and the Dark Side, please, because if you do…" His face twitched with pain, "I don't want to do that. I should have done it four days ago when I realised my failure, but I couldn't do it then and can't do it now. I shut you in that room to protect you from myself."

His inner turmoil was almost palpable. Suddenly, he kissed her again, hungrily, as if he tried to distract himself from his anguish, and whispered into her ear with pain in his voice, "But I can't let you go right now, not yet. Let's pretend we're someone else tonight. We'll forget about everything, and you'll be only mine, and I'll be only yours."

He kissed the pulse point on her neck, as well as her throat and her collarbone, his kisses warm and arousing. She dented her fingers deep into his hair and moaned from the sensation.

"Please, be mine tonight, only tonight," he whispered into her ear, making her shiver from his hot breath. "Will you?"

Her eyes were closed and she reached for him with her will and sensed his light. It pulsated inside him like a small supernova in the ocean of darkness. It was not a weak sparkle she sensed within him like she did previously. His darkness whirled wildly, trying to consume the bright light inside him. He was unbalanced, dancing at the tip of the spear, and it made him even more dangerous. She had to run from him as if he was a bomb with a timer, but she stayed for some reason, running her fingers through his wild black curls.

"Will you?" He repeated and everything became simple and clear in her mind.

" _Yes_ ," she whispered back and felt as his strong arms lifted her as though she weighed nothing more than a feather.

-x-

They were kissing madly while he carried her into his room. They fell onto his bed in the darkness and it creaked traitorously. He paused to take off her boots and Rey kicked them off impatiently. Ren took her foot and set it against his chest, lightly stroking. His palm was almost the size of her small feet. He stroked her ankle under the edge of her trousers and a wave of arousal passed through her body again. He leaned forward, kissed her hungrily while his long fingers began to unbutton her suit. He laid his palm on her chest, still covered with the material.

"Are you sure? Because if you don't stop me now, I'm not sure I can stop myself later," his voice sounded husky.

She gulped and nodded, and he took off her garment in one swift motion. She was lying before him almost naked, only having her panties on her. Her first reaction was to lift her hands and cover herself but she felt the soft grip of his hand on her wrist.

"Don't hide from me. You're beautiful."

He leaned forward and peppered kisses on her chest and collarbone. His breath was warm. He pinned both of her wrists above her head, descending with his kisses lower. She felt his lips on her breasts, teasing her already erect nipples. It felt incredible.

"Oh, Ben, yes, yes…" She moaned and bit her lip. He bit her nipples lightly with his teeth and caressed her tender skin with his tongue and it felt almost too much. Waves of pleasure were spreading across her body.

"Let me… I want to touch you," she murmured into his ear. He let her hands free, and took off his tunic over his head. His body was lean, yet muscular. She touched his naked chest shyly at first and then became more confident. He leaned forward to kiss her gently, and she shivered from the sensation of naked skin on skin. The sensation of their naked body touching must have been the last drop for him. His palms slipped down into her panties and squeezed her butt so tight that she whimpered. His arousal was so strong that she sensed it both physically from his hardness against her thighs and mentally through their bond. His kisses became demanding and wild again and she answered with equal passion. If that was the Dark Side, she embraced it with joy, letting her inner fire burn wild, sucking his tongue and biting his lips. He drew back to remove his belt and trousers and then returned to her, to take off her last piece of cloth. She stretched her hand, gripped his hard member and heard his suppressed groan through clenched teeth. He softly removed her hand from his shaft.

"I won't last long if you touch me like that," he was panting from the desire. "Let me taste you first."

His kisses were torturously slow. He kissed her stomach and her navel and descended lower. He kissed her inner thigh and gently parted her legs with both hands. And then she was lost.

Unlike her, he obviously was not a novice in terms of making love. His tongue and fingers were skillful and she melted from his licks, kisses and soft bites. He found the sensitive bud between her thighs and began to caress it. Rey dented her fingers into his hair and moaned.

"Don't stop, Ben, oh, stars, don't stop…"

He parted her wet folds and inserted his finger into her, all the while caressing her sensitive bud. Rey felt as if she was climbing some invisible stairs towards incredible pleasure. Suddenly she felt her walls clenching around his fingers and her body arched and she cried out his name shuddering in ecstasy which covered her mind and body.

She felt his hot, hard member near her entrance, not yet completely recovered from her orgasm. She put her palm onto his chest and caught his questioning gaze.

"You know… I never did it before," the confession flew from her lips.

"Don't be afraid, _sweetheart_. I'll be gentle."

Rey bit her lip and nodded.

He entered her in one swift motion. It hurt rather badly and she cried out in pain, so he stopped and soothed her with tender kisses and strokes. Few moments passed and she felt her body adjust to his length. He began to move slowly and she felt the pain go away, only to be replaced by sweet pleasure. She moaned and cried with each slow thrust.

He began to move faster, unable to restrain himself, being in the power of primal need. She felt their bond opening completely, connecting them into one organism. She felt his desire and wild passion for her and saw herself with his eyes, beautiful and naked, clutching the bedsheet, moaning shamelessly under his slender body. He was in charge tonight and no matter how much they fought for domination in real life, tonight she was giving herself to him completely and she felt him doing the same. She felt a new wave of ecstasy coming to her as his hips met her thighs and he panted heavily, biting her earlobe.

"Oh, Rey, damn, I am near… Come for me."

These words were the last stair to her release and she felt bursting from pleasure and buried her nails into his back, the world breaking around her.

He felt her walls clenching wildly around his shaft and heard her crying out his name in ecstasy again and again and that threw him over the edge. He growled and buried himself within her to the hilt, releasing himself inside her body.

They stayed connected for a few moments longer, even when the waves of pleasure went down and passed. Then he got off her, panting, and curled behind her on their crumpled bedsheets, and she basked in the warmth of his embrace. He kissed the back of her neck with incredible tenderness and she heard him whispering into the curls on the back of her head.

"Say it. Say it even if it is a lie."

"I am yours, Ben."

Rey felt his grip tightening and sensed his pleasure caused by her words, and felt him becoming hard again. She stretched her hand and stroked his cock. He softly moaned into her neck in return.

"Are you sore?" She heard Ben murmur into her ear. "Because if you are we don't have to…"

She felt no pain at all, so she gladly gave him the green light. He entered her from behind and they made love gently, almost lazily, savouring every moment of closeness. He kissed her neck and shoulders, teasing her nipples with his skillful fingers and his touches were tender and sweet. His thrusts were slow and she felt all his length moving inside of her. They shared a long and slow orgasm at the end, sinking together in a lake of gentle pleasure.

He held her tightly, almost possessively and they both fell into deep sleep.

-x-

Rey ran across the corridors of the Finalizer without looking back. Her crimson cloak was on her, her hood up. Every single Stormtrooper decided to get out of her way, remembering the red figure beside Lord Ren.

 _Ben_.

She remembered waking up early in the morning and finding him still sleeping soundly beside her. He looked very peaceful in his sleep, his face so young and calm. The lighting system of the Finalizer imitated the daylight, permitting her to study his torso. He had many scars, and she noticed one big scar on his side: it must have been a trace left by Chewie's bowcaster. He murmured something in his sleep and put his arm around her more tightly. She lay beside him, looking into his face, trying to memorize this fragile moment. Rey knew, that he was right the night before - the morning came and they were enemies again, both having their duties to fulfill. She watched the man beside her and realized that she needed to face the reality. She kissed him goodbye softly, not to wake him up. The night passed and the spell was now broken.

Rey found the nearest hangar and mind-tricked two guards near the entrance since she wasn't sure that her red cloak would help her in that situation. She instructed one of the Stormtroopers to open a gate for her, choosing an advanced TIE-fighter model, which, as she knew was equipped with a hyperdrive. When she finally climbed into the spaceship and began to start up the engines, she thought that her escape had been too easy. No chasing or shooting: just a small mind trick. She felt almost disappointed, because escaping so easily raised a question - _why had she been staying there for so many days? Was she really a prisoner, a victim as she tried to think of herself_? Or maybe it was all because she _wanted_ to stay?

The engines roared and the TIE-fighter flew out of the hangar. She looked back through the glass of the window and sensed him waking up. Despite that they were moving farther and farther apart, their bond stayed strong, and she felt his emotions. It was a mix of anger, sadness and guilt; he must have found her gone. Rey closed her eyes and felt hot tears falling down. She screwed up her eyes tightly and tried to sever the bond with all her might, to block her thoughts and feelings from him. Her lips trembled as she repeated the phrase, which Master Luke told her the day he began to teach her the Force. " _There is no emotion - there is peace. There is no passion - there is serenity_." The connection began to fade and soon only dull ache stayed somewhere at the background of her soul. Rey sighed and took off her crimson attire and stayed in her old clothes from Jakku. She leaned over the navigational panel and smirked bitterly on her thoughts. _There she was - Rey from Jakku, all alone again on her way to nowhere_. She didn't know the new coordinates of the Resistance base and therefore decided to go to the only place where she could find it. She entered the coordinates into the computer and switched on the hyperdrive.

 _The Mid Rim, Tashtor sector. Takodana_.

* * *

 _ **A/N: I need a cold shower.**_

 _ **The phrase Rey hears inside of Ben's head ("You have compassion for her. It isn't her strength that is making you fail. It's your weakness") is not presented in film, it is from the Novelization of TFA (I took it from audio version).**_

 _ **My track for this chapter is 30 Seconds To Mars – Hurricane. Sometimes I have tracks which I listen over and over which fit the mood of the chapter.**_

 _ **I hope you felt the bittersweet sensation I tried to express in words.**_


	11. Chapter 11 - Motherly Advice

_**A/N: Sorry for the delay, my darkside baby Darth Retailation is back and I feel complete again =))**_

 _ **Thanks for the reviews! You make me happy, guys, really.**_

 _ **Guest, who wrote me about Chandelier by Sia track – good choice! "I'm gonna live like tomorrow doesn't exist…"**_

* * *

 **Chapter 11. Motherly Advice**

Maz Kanata always had a good memory for faces. But when a slender figure in a crimson cloak appeared at the doorstep of her cantina, she didn't recognize any familiar features. _The First Order was spying again. But what kind of fool in the Galaxy would wear such a bright red cloak to spy?_ Regardless, Takodana stayed an open planet despite the last encounter with the First Order and the Resistance on their surface.

She expected the red-dressed guest to hide in a dark corner somewhere in the depths of the cantina, but the figure was obviously searching for somebody. They turned their hooded face left and right and finally stopped their gaze on Maz herself. The little woman shrugged her shoulders in aggravation - those First Order spies always wanted information from her. She decided to disappear and stay imperceptible, but the hooded figure strode towards her in obvious determination.

Something was wrong. Maz sensed that the creature under the cloak was Force-sensitive, but the First Order didn't have any Force-sensitives except for Kylo Ren, who was more of an ally than a member. When the figure reached her and pulled off the hood, Maz Kanata saw the familiar face of the girl Han Solo brought with him during his last visit on Takodana.

 _Rey_.

Maz understood why she hadn't recognized the girl. Something was wrong with her Force signature. She felt a trace of dark energy, which was absent when they first met. But the face was the same - young and innocent, a little pale.

Rumors came and passed in her cantina and Maz Kanata had as always the patience to listen carefully. She passed among the tables almost unnoticed, as a good host should do, watching that the glasses were always full and bills paid, and listened to the conversations of Resistance and First Order spies, smugglers, gangsters and others who came to her cantina to relax from the daily grind or a long road and share some news. One of those evenings brought her news about the return of Luke Skywalker to the Resistance and the disappearance of his apprentice, a young girl. The man who spoke was especially drunk that evening, so various juicy theories of the girl's whereabouts followed the rumor itself. None of them were true, of course, but Maz could see that the story itself did not hold together. She saw Rey only once, remembering her as a girl blessed by the Force, but afraid of leaving her past behind. The girl craved for belonging and Luke Skywalker could have become the father figure she needed. If he accepted her as his padawan (the drunk man had no doubt about the two of them arriving together as Master and Padawan), there was no reason for the girl to run away.

The girl opened her mouth to say something, but Maz silenced her with a wave of her small, wrinkled hand.

"Sssshh, don't speak here, the walls have ears. Come with me, and put your hood on if you value your life."

-x-

Rey was exhausted after her long journey through hyperspace in the TIE-fighter. It was not a very comfortable trip, since the ship was not intended for travelling such long distances.

When she saw the tiny figure of Maz among the tables in the cantina, a stroke of fear passed through her body. _What if she wouldn't help her?_ Everyone had a right to protect their own life. For the First Order, she was an escaped prisoner. As for Ren… she knew his duty now consisted of finding her and eliminating her. Rey knew he would fulfill his duty, because in his place, she would execute herself without hesitation.

For the Resistance, she was a traitor. Unless Poe Dameron reached D'Qar. Then Luke would understand why she had left that night. But would her friends accept her back after training with Kylo Ren? After accepting his food, his tutelage, his… _bed_?

Rey removed her hood and noticed with relief that the woman's eyes widened in recognition behind the thick glasses. Maz remembered her. She opened her lips to say something, at least a _hello_ , but Maz silenced her with a wave of her small hand, and beckoned her towards a curtained area in the depths of the cantina. It was probably a private space for couples: luckily, it was vacant. They sat on the couch beside the table.

"Here, we can speak in private." The little woman studied Rey from head to toe, "Now, young lady, you must tell me: what are you doing here wearing that attire? And why do you have a cornered animal's eyes?"

Rey told Maz everything: becoming Ren's apprentice, including the strange relationship they established. But she didn't tell Maz the real reason why she had to escape the Star Destroyer.

"... Then I left the Finalizer, and now I am here. Please, help me find the new location of the Resistance base."

Maz studied her with an appraising look.

"You're trying to tell me that you accepted Kylo Ren's proposal to teach you and then just escaped, when there was an opportunity? You tell me you share a Force Bond and from your story, I assume you know how the Supreme Leader punishes failure, and you try to convince me that you just left him and broke your promise to him, even without direct danger for your life, knowing that he'll receive his torture?"

The picture of Ren's bloodshot eyes and a collar soaked with blood appeared in front of Rey's eyes and she gulped, bit her lips, not to betray her emotions. She tried to ignore those thoughts, attempting to convince herself that she would be dead now if she didn't escape. But the thought of him being tortured because of her escape was hard to bear. She gathered all her strength and looked into the wise eyes behind the glasses.

"Yes, I escaped from the First Order the moment I understood there was no direct danger for the Resistance. I never wanted to be Kylo Ren's apprentice and never wanted to learn the Dark Side of the Force. I left him, and his destiny is not my business anymore."

Maz brought her round face closer to Rey's and put off her glasses. The girl shivered as the wrinkled face's small eyes looked directly into her soul.

"Either you fell to the Dark Side farther than I thought, or you're not telling me the truth." Her small hand lightly touched Rey's own. "I've already told you I'm no Jedi, but I sense the darkness within you. It's greater than it was before. But this darkness is not enough to break the promise of a Jedi and leave a person to be tortured in cold blood. Something important happened in your life. Something you don't want to tell anybody and which you feel ashamed of." She paused and put her glasses back, "I'll help you either way. Han Solo was my friend and he liked you. Despite this brave mask you're trying to hide behind, I sense your guilt and shame for what you did. I never said Ben Solo is a good person, but you cannot stay within the Light and betray him because he stands in the Dark Side. By the feelings I sense in you, I assume you had your reasons to leave him to his destiny."

She sighed again and stood up from the couch. "But the main reason why I'll help you is because of two Resistance guys staying in my castle and clumsily playing spies. Last time I saw one of them with you, he was a former Stormtrooper desperately wanting to escape somewhere to the Outer Rim."

Rey's face shone with joy and surprise.

"Finn is here? And the one with him must be Poe! They are… here? Searching for me?"

Maz Kanata's face smoothed and her tone became softer, "Looks like you have some friends left, child. Wait for me, I'll bring them here."

And the little woman disappeared behind the worn-out curtains.

Rey's soul was full of excitement mixed with guilt. Finn, her dear friend, came searching for her even when the Resistance was in mortal danger. He stayed true to his feelings, always. She sighed, as guilt ate her from inside. _What had she done_? She needed to forget everything that happened between her and Ren for good, and move on with her life. Their fates would obviously cross in the future and she would need to find the courage to kill him. Because, when the time would come, it would be the ancient, primal law: _kill, or be killed_. But the thought of the bright light she sensed deep inside his wretched soul made her heart beat with hope. While he was telling her that he had to kill her because of his failure, this bright light was the only thing which made her doubt his cruel words. Maybe he had a chance.

The curtains parted and Rey saw two familiar figures.

"Rey!" She heard the voice she needed to hear more than anything else in the world.

"Finn! Poe!" She found herself inside a double hug and felt her lips broaden into a grin. Finn and Poe are what she needed now to distract her from her self-loathing.

"Rey, we were so worried! Why did you do that to us, girl? Huh? Tell us now!" Finn's tone was accusing. Rey shivered at the word " _girl_ ", which sounded too familiar.

"You know why I did it. Poe is now standing by your side."

"C'mon pal, let me hug her. You occupied all of her attention. She saved my life. Give me a chance to at least thank her properly." Finn shot a glare at his friend, but stepped aside. Poe embraced Rey with gratitude, and she could smell his pleasant scent while her face nestled against his shoulder.

"Rey, what you did for my pilots and me cannot be described in words. We all owe our lives to you, and if you ever need something - just ask."

"Okay, Poe, thirty seconds is enough for lofty assurances," a note of jealousy marked Finn's words. "You'll squeeze her ribs."

"I missed you, guys, you just can't imagine how much," she laughed freely for the first time since the night she flew to the Toblain sector. Those two argued like an old couple, humorously fighting for her attention.

"Tell me everything! What did you do on the Finalizer? How did you manage to escape? I want to hear the story of you beating up Kylo Ren." Finn looked agitated and curious.

"There will be no such story."

Rey shortly told the same story she told Maz Kanata mere minutes ago.

"I think you did the right thing, Rey. Kylo Ren can go to Malachor. Your safety is the only thing that matters," Finn was far more approving than Maz Kanata.

A shadow of a deep voice passed through her mind. " _...Fear is your best friend now._ _As long as they fear you are safe…_ " Rey shook her head to get rid of the memories and tried to smile. But it appeared false and strained.

Finn looked at her face concern, "Did he hurt you, Rey? Was he cruel to you?"

 _He did hurt me, but not in the way you think_. She decided to keep the thought for herself and shook her head, surprised by her words as she spoke. "No, he was not cruel to me. In fact, I think he was as kind to me as he can be to another human being." Rey realized she was being honest. Strange, she never considered Ren to be kind during her stay with him. Until now.

Finn snorted with doubt, obviously not believing her. She decided to change the subject.

"What about you, guys? Did the Resistance evacuate successfully?"

"Yeah, thanks to you we had enough time to relocate," Poe flashed her another grateful grin. "We established a new base on Atollon. Old Rebellion base served us good. We'll show you…" Poe's face suddenly looked worried, "Rey? Everything alright?"

"What's going on?" She looked at both of her friends in surprize.

Finn and Poe were staring at her, obviously scared and concerned.

"Ehm, what? Why are you staring?"

"Your nose is bleeding," Finn's voice sounded muffled, as if he was speaking from a distance.

She touched the area under her nose and stared at her hand. It was red with blood.

 _Oh, no. No, no, no. Someone was receiving punishment for her escape_. Pain began to build up inside her head.

"Call Maz, quickly. Tell her the bond is giving me trouble. And knock me down if I begin to scream. If you don't, all the First Order spies will come for us."

She went dizzy, and the pain became too much, as if it broke an invisible barrier. She felt her body hitting the hard floor. Rey didn't know whether she had passed out from the pain or if it was one of her friends who had been merciful enough to knock her down. A blissful darkness covered her mind. The last thing she saw - was it real? Was it a vision? - was the clink of ice cubes in a glass full of golden Corellian brandy.

-x-

Maz Kanata was no fast walker, but she appeared from behind the curtains with the speed of a hovercraft. She looked at the girl's face, covered with blood, and shot a worried gaze to both Poe and Finn, who were both standing near, perplexed and frightened.

"Did she tell you something?"

"Not exactly. She told us about some bond or something 'functioning again'." Poe's voice was full of guilt, "Then she fell onto the floor and I couldn't catch her, so she hit her head against the floor and passed out."

"Good. At least she doesn't feel the pain." Maz's face stayed extremely concerned, but somewhat relieved.

"Why does she feel the pain? Why did she suddenly began bleeding and fell unconscious?" Finn was obviously worried.

Maz looked at both guys and sighed.

"I won't tell you because that's not my secret. When Rey wakes up, she might tell you if she wants to. Now, get moving. You need to leave Takodana as soon as possible. I assume you had a conversation, so take the girl and fly away on the Falcon. She can't hide anymore and the First Order is looking for her. I'm surprised there are no troops at my doorway yet. I'll show you the back door."

They quickly wrapped Rey into her red cloak and Finn carried her on his shoulder. Rey's head, covered with blood, dangled lifelessly like a creepy doll's. Finn and Poe both followed the petite figure of Maz towards the back door.

Once they were inside the Millennium Falcon, Finn put Rey's motionless body on a bed in one of the living quarters while Poe began to heat up the engines. He unwrapped her from her cloak and flinched when he saw how pale she was. Thankfully, her nosebleed had stopped. He fetched a piece of clean cloth and gently cleared the blood from her face. Her face appeared calm, as if she was simply asleep. Finn couldn't help himself and stroked the girl's face with the tips of his fingers.

 _What happened when you were in the grip of that monster, Rey? What are you hiding?_

"Hey, buddy! I need some help with taking off," Finn heard Poe call from the bridge.

Finn sighed and looked at Rey's face. It stayed unmoving, almost lifeless. His eyes stopped at girl's lips for a moment, but he shook his head and walked out of the quarters to help Poe with piloting.

-x-

Rey opened her eyes and then immediately shut them again, shying away from the cold white light. She slightly opened them again, blinked several times to get used to to the lighting. She was lying in a medical bay while an old droid beside her beeped and headed behind the doors.

 _Was she on the Finalizer? Had she truly escaped from Kylo Ren, or was it just a dream? Had Ren wounded her so severely during one of their trainings she needed medical help?_

The door opened and, instead of the tall black figure she expected to see, Rey saw the concerned face of Luke Skywalker. Her memory returned to her in waves. Her past was all still blurred in her mind.

"Hey," Luke said softly and sat at a metal chair beside her bed. "How are you?"

"Feeling like somebody beat me for days. But it's okay, I can bear it." Rey tried to smile but only managed to curl her lips weakly.

"Do you remember anything?" Luke's voice sounded soothing to her troubled mind.

"Not all of it. I remember flying to Takodana and meeting Finn and Poe there, at Maz Kanata's cantina. After that, I don't remember anything."

"You began bleeding heavily from your nose and ears and passed out. Finn and Poe quickly grabbed you and flew back here on the Millennium Falcon as fast as they could. You remained unconscious all the time and we began to worry that the damage was worse than just nosebleeding. But we have a few old medical droids here, so they treated you and reported that apart from exhaustion, you have no inner organs damaged. Your mind was blocking the pain, which I assume, came from your Force Bond with… Kylo Ren."

Hearing the chosen name of Ren from Luke was unexpected. He always called his nephew by his birth name thus far. She looked into her Master's eyes, trying to find out the reason for such change. He sensed her unspoken question and explained.

"I am your teacher, Rey. You may consider me an old fool, but I know you a little bit. We share a bond. It's not as strong as the one you share with Ren, but I feel that something happened on the Finalizer. You broke your promise to him and ran away without looking back, and I assume you had a solid reason to do it. I thought he wouldn't harm you, but maybe I _am_ an old fool and I underestimated how far he fell to the Dark Side. I saw this." He pointed on a slightly visible scar appearing on her arm, coming from her first encounter with Ren as her new Master, "I understood that his methods of teaching included physical harm. And when I saw you pale as dead and with traces of blood on your face, blackened out from the pain he inflicted through the Force Bond you share, I assumed that Ben Solo is truly gone." Luke's always calm face twitched with obvious pain, "I am so sorry, Rey. I should have stopped you from running to him and flown after you the moment I learned you were gone, even for the Black Squadron's lives. Did he hurt you? I feel the pain both inside your body and inside your soul."

Her eyes widened in understanding. Luke thought her pain was inflicted by Kylo Ren himself through their bond. Rey thought things would have been easier if it was true.

"No, he didn't harm me in any way." She looked at the scar on her arm and decided to correct herself, "Okay, he did, but that was just the first day I stayed with him. He didn't inflict the pain through our bond on purpose…" She hesitated for a moment but decided to tell Luke the truth. "I've already experienced such pain, but without the bleeding. It was the day Snoke punished Ben for something. It was so harsh he couldn't walk back to his quarters. I assumed he wasn't supposed to fulfill his promises to me. But he did," Rey looked into Luke's blue eyes, trying to guess his thoughts. "Sometimes, we share emotions and pain, if they're strong. Ugh, I mean, _shared_."

Luke looked to her with an unreadable expression on his face. _Was he surprised? Was he angry?_ Finally, he spoke again: "You call him Ben now?"

She kept silent, not knowing what to answer.

"Something obviously happened. You say he didn't harm you, but you ran away from him and are ashamed of something you cannot even share with me. Your Force bond became so strong that you physically experience the pain he feels light-years away." He paused for a moment, "I won't question you more. I hope time will help you to deal with whatever torments you."

Rey felt tears of gratitude fall from her eyes. She was not ready to talk about what happened on the Finalizer yet.

"Will you still teach me, Master Luke?"

Luke sensed the same fear of rejection in her words from the very first time she asked him this question. He smiled and stretched his hand, touching her thin padawan braid, lying on the pillow.

"You're still wearing your braid, my padawan. How can I stop teaching you?"

She covered his hand with her palm, a little trembling from her weakness, and he felt a trace of affection flowing through their bond. They were together, once again, and it became a little stronger.

"Thank you, Master," she whispered almost soundlessly.

"Now rest. You need to be strong for our next lessons."

She smiled weakly and slightly nodded. He stood up and went towards the door but stopped in front of them, as if he wanted to tell her something. But when Luke turned around, he saw her already sleeping with a light smile on her lips.

-x-

"How is she?" Leia sounded worried.

"Better than we expected. But something bothers her and she won't tell me."

Luke sat on an armchair and stretched his legs with relief. He could afford some minutes of peace in his sister's company before diving back into the base's never-ending fuss.

"Why? You're her teacher, she trusts you."

Luke clicked his tongue and shook his head, "I don't think she needs a teacher, if my assumptions are right. In fact, she needs a mother."

Leia was obviously surprised. She came towards the armchair and stood before Luke, her hands set on her waist.

"A mother? I understand that every girl needs a mother, but why now?"

"You'd better talk to her yourself. I only have suspicions, but if I'm right, I'm of no use in that situation." Luke scratched his head in embarrassment.

Leia shot a long gaze at him, seemingly unsure if she understood right. The pause lasted for too long and she shrugged her shoulders, knowing that she wouldn't draw anything more from him.

"I wanted to visit her anyway. Poor girl needs some support."

-x-

Rey opened her eyes and saw the short figure of Leia Organa in the doorway. She rubbed her eyes sleepily and smiled to the older woman. Leia grinned back.

"How do you feel?" Her tone was very soft, almost gentle.

"Much better. At least my head doesn't hurt anymore."

Leia sat on the edge of her bed. They were silent for a moment, until Rey broke it.

"He is alright, Leia."

Rey noticed embarrassment on the general's face. She knew Leia came to talk about Ben, but she couldn't ask her a direct question. Rey had decided to leave the small talk aside and go straight to the subject. They both needed to have this conversation.

"I know you want to talk about Ben. Last time I saw him, he was alive and healthy."

The words about his health sounded false and silly, as if they were sitting somewhere on a veranda, drinking tea, talking about a distant relative.

Leia chuckled bitterly.

"I don't want to talk about Ben, Rey. My main concern is you. What happened on the Finalizer? Unburden yourself. You know, I won't judge you for anything."

 _Oh, you would. You would hate me._ But a part of her wanted to tell somebody the truth. Leia's eyes were kind and understanding. The older woman put her small palm onto Rey's leg reassuringly.

"You need to talk to someone, child. Unburden yourself and live further. We're all worried for you. I'll keep your secret, I promise."

Rey gulped and clutched the blanket.

"I… I don't know where to start."

"Start from the beginning."

Rey sighed and sat straighter on her bed.

"It all started the night I left D'Qar. You already know what choice Ben gave me. In fact, he gave me no choice at all. I arrived on the Finalizer hating him. We fought many times, and I didn't feel anything except hatred. He was the same as before - arrogant, cold, sometimes even cruel. But then I saw another side to him - sometimes, he was kind to me, almost caring. I didn't want any of it. I wanted to hate him for all he had done to us, to you. But I couldn't. I don't know what I thought, but I felt a pull towards him. We were close and distant at the same time: I don't know how to express it. I sensed the Light within him, and now, I don't know what I should do. What I should feel for him. He told me you always have a choice between the Light and the Darkness, and he chose Darkness. No matter how much Light he has left within him, I think he'll always reject it."

She covered her face with her hands. Leia waited patiently for her to continue. Soon, she found the strength once again. "The night before I escaped, I saw Ben Solo behind the mask. It was a moment of weakness for both of us. He was longing to possess and I was longing to belong… We woke up in the same bed in the morning, and I ran away as fast as I could, because he told me he'd have to execute me with his own hand if I stayed. He spent the night with me and he would still kill me in the morning in cold blood. What is this feeling, Leia? Why is it tearing me apart? Am I the traitor now by having shared a bed with our enemy? Am I a fool? How can I feel hatred and passion for him at the same time? What should I do if we ever meet again?"

"Oh, I wish I had the answers you seek, but I don't. I ask myself the same questions all the time." Leia's face twitched with pain and grief. "I understand you so well, sweetheart. I am the mother of our enemy."

 _Sweetheart_.

There was something with that word within the Solo family. A deep voice passed through Rey's mind. It was rid of its usual dark tone, becoming just a man's voice, with unbearable tenderness. " _Don't be afraid, sweetheart. I'll be gentle._ " She remembered Leia calling little Ben with the same nickname in her Force visions and smiled. No matter what, he was still their son.

Leia hugged the girl and continued, "I know I'm not the best person to give advice, but if you sense Light in him - give him a try. I tell you this as his mother." She withdrew, and her eyes suddenly became dark, "But now listen to me, because I will talk to you both as a friend and as the the Resistance's General. If you sense that the Darkness has consumed him completely, if he endangers your life - kill him without hesitation. Not out of hatred, but because that's the right thing to do. It is not about me, or Luke, or even Han - this is about your own life. You know I can't stop loving him, because he's my child. I saw his first steps and heard his first words. But you must put an end to all this if you need to. If he's gone too far, put your personal feelings aside. Remember, only you can confront him. The destiny of the whole Galaxy depends on your decisions. Choose wisely." She paused and her face softened and became sad, "I'll share with you a hard lesson, one I learned during my life. Even if you think that you can't live without the people you love - it is not true. You can and you will. Believe me." Leia sighed and stood up, "I need to go. The Resistance requires my attention. I'm glad you're better. I hope you'll join us again soon."

Rey nodded to the General and smiled without saying anything else. It was not necessary. She needed time to think.

Leia Organa walked out of the medical bay and leaned her back on the closed door. A memory flew before her closed eyes.

 _"Ssshh, Han, you'll wake him. Don't squeeze him too tight."_

 _"Why is his face so wrinkled? If I haven't heard you cursing me during labor, I would think he's Maz Kanata's son."_

 _"All babies are wrinkled when they're just born, Han."_

 _"His hands and legs are so tiny… How will he fix the Falcon with such tiny hands?"_

 _"Don't make a fool out of yourself, you know babies grow up."_

 _She watched Han Solo hold the tiny bundle gently, as if it was made of glass._

 _"Despite all those wrinkles and red face… He's beautiful. You know, sweetheart, I already love him."_

 _She was exhausted after the long labor, but she couldn't help but smile at the picture of Han holding their son. He always used the "sweetheart" word mostly to mock her, but now, he was serious and touched. Han was staring at their baby with awe, almost in disbelief they created something so beautiful. Together. The sun was shining through the opened window, and Leia thought that it was one of those rare moments of perfect happiness._

 _"I love both of you," Han whispered._

 _She closed her eyes and whispered back, "I know, sweetheart. I know."_

* * *

 _ **A/N: Awwww, aren't I good in heartbreaking scenes with babies? You have your "Iloveyou-Iknow" thing this time vice versa. And the rare picture of young Han Solo rid of his cockiness.**_

 _ **And, of course, a little blood never made the chapter worse.**_

' _ **Aftersmut 'chapters are always difficult – you just had the sensual 'culmination' and need to sit and plan the plot again. But what a sci-fi without a good adventure?**_

 _ **Remember, the more reviews I receive the better/faster/stronger chapters I write! =))**_

 _ ***moves away in strange dance***_


	12. Chapter 12 - The Lull Before The Storm

_**A/N: Ronny is back with a new chapter, kittens! =)**_

 _ **Politics, politics… I hate writing about politics. But the galaxy is in the middle of the war, so we need to leave our favorite pair for a while and dive into the depth of intrigues and strategy. Skywalker twins are starring in this chap.**_

 _ **I would like to introduce a new member of our "The Star Nightingale" spaceship crew, which now flies with me and my co-pilot Darth Retailation (you're the best co-pilot, babe, you know that). She can fix anything, so let's call her the main mechanic =). The master of the adjectives and verbs, commas and direct speech, who makes the texts really "English" – Garden Guru! We can soon form an international girls' band, I think ;) She'll also edit some of my previous chapters to edit some grammar fails I had.**_

 _ **Also, I'd like to thank my pal in real life, Michael, "the great tactician", for the essential help with all chapters, regarding "Star Wars" politics and war. I know that he is reading the story, so – hey, Misha, thank you!**_

 _ **UPD 2016-09-09 I'm very sorry for the delay, both my betas are busy this week =) Meanwhile, I'm writing new chapters, so don't be afraid that I left you ;) you won't get rid of me so easily.**_

 _ **UPD 2016-09-16 Oh, guys, if you knew how I wait for the chaps to come back to me after the beta-reading... So, let me give you something to make the waiting more bearable. I had a birthday on 7th of September and got a new graphical tablet ;) So now you can find some of my artworks on Tumblr (ronrines) and DeviantArt (ronrinesu). Of course they are on Star Wars (actually, I've drawn only one full artwork during this week, so saying 'they' is a little bit incorrect). I'm looking forward to drawing some illustrations for The Star Nightingale, so, if you enjoyed my story so far - you'll find them both on Tumblr and DeviantArt.**_

* * *

 **Chapter 12. The Lull Before the Storm**

"Eva! Eva! Come here, don't run away from me!" The mother's voice was soft, but held a strict note. "Eva!"

But Eva didn't want to listen to those boring adults. The sun was caressing the high grass, making water droplets glisten like tiny rainbows, and she noticed a beautiful dark blue butterfly, sitting on a bright red flower. The insect dangled slightly, as it was greeting the little girl.

"Are you magical?" Eva sat in front of the red flower and stretched her little hand toward the beauty. "Are you my flying little sister? We look so similar."

The butterfly dangled its wings again and flew from the flower, fluttering around the girl's head, and then sat on one of her lekku. Eva desperately needed to show Mommy her new friend, so she walked out of the high grass very slowly and carefully in order not to frighten the butterfly. Perhaps the tiny creature felt something towards the girl too, for it didn't fly away even when Eva stumbled against a small stone.

"Evak'neja! Where have you been, darling? I was looking for you."

Talking to the butterfly seemed much more interesting than listening to Mommy's scoldings, so Eva waved her hand impatiently and pointed to one of the lekku on her head.

"Do you see her, Mommy? Doesn't she look a lot like me?"

The older Twi'lek woman leaned toward the child and looked at the spot the tiny blue finger pointed at. She noticed a blue butterfly, sleepily sitting on one of her lekku, almost blending with the color of the girl's skin, and smiled.

"Yes, my little Eva, you two look like sisters," Mommy stretched her hand and the butterfly moved onto the woman's palm, maybe considering that there was no difference between the two equally blue objects. She carefully brought her palm at the level of Eva's eyes and the girl studied the butterfly closely with her bright orange eyes.

"Mommy," her face suddenly became serious, as only a child's face could, "Can we take her home?"

"No, darling, we can't," the woman's voice was soft. "She needs to fly home too, to be free. Every creature needs to be free."

"I understand," Eva sighed, disappointed with the fact that she needed to say goodbye to her new friend so soon. However, the summer sun shone bright and there was no reason to feel sad. When the butterfly waved its wings and flew away, she laughed and lifted her small palm to her eyes while watching the tiny creature flutter among the flowers. The Twi'lek woman stood behind the girl, observing her child with tenderness.

"Mommy, what's that?" The voice of the girl was full of curiosity. "Over there?"

"Where?" Mommy tried to see the subject the small finger pointed at, so she approached Eva and lifted her blue palm to her eyes, wondering what the girl had seen in the blue sky. Suddenly, her face became pale and she exhaled as if somebody had stabbed her in the stomach.

"What is that, Mommy?" Eva didn't notice her mother's reaction to whatever she saw above. "They look like birds, but there are so many of them… I never saw so many birds! They are all grey as if they're made of metal!"

"They are not birds, Evak'neja," the Twi'lek said, her voice sounding hollow. "Now come here, I need to tell you something."

She knelt before the child, stroking her cheek. Eva studied Mommy with a blank stare.

"Listen, darling, let's imagine this is a game," Mommy tried to speak calm and clear, "Run quickly to the Library and tell the elders you saw metal birds in the sky. Whoever arrives there first gains extra sweets for dinner."

"What are they, Mommy?" The girl didn't sound scared, only perplexed.

"They come to take our freedom from us. Now run, Eva, and don't look back."

She ran, as fast as her short legs could carry her.

-x-

Luke pressed the replay button on the portable holoprojector and a petite figure in huge glasses appeared before his eyes. He knew Maz Kanata well, although they hadn't been in contact for a very long time. She was possibly the oldest Force-sensitive still alive in the galaxy. The small holographic copy of Maz rearranged her glasses and the message began playing again.

" _Dear Luke, I'm sending you this message on a disc because I can't entrust this information to the Holonet. I saw a vision through the Force, regarding the greatest warrior of the past, who looked both into the Darkness and into the Light and was equally powerful in both. You know how I love to collect artifacts of the Force, but this one is not for me. If I understood the vision right, the holocron of Revan is hidden on the Ialia planet, inside the Temple of the Ancient, now destroyed and buried deep inside the mountain. It may contain the answers you seek. But be fast: Ialia has already fallen under control of the First Order. Given that the population consists mostly of scientists and historians, the victory of the Order was fast. Maybe it is a coincidence, but I don't think so. Ialia is not a resource planet._ " The little woman sighed and continued, " _Now about Rey._ _I saw the girl, Luke. She is strong with the Force, but unbalanced, and the Dark Side lures her. She already has more Darkness than when I first saw her. Aside from the knowledge of the Ancient, which can be essential for the defeat of the First Order, I hope the information inside the holocron gives you a clue to balancing Rey. Now I must go. May the Force be with you, last of the Jedi._ "

The message was over. Luke sighed and tipped back in his chair, hands on the back of his nape. He remembered a vision he had had not long ago, mirroring the one Maz talked about. Now, everything fell into place.

 _Unfamiliar landscape in the middle of a thunderstorm. Luke sees a tall, dark hooded figure on the stairs of a great temple. The figure slowly ascends the stone stairs towards the carved entrance. A bright red lightsaber ignites in their hand, revealing the warrior as a Dark Side user. The wind is strong and the rumble of thunder reverberates on the ancient walls. Suddenly the figure stops and turns around, revealing a mask, which seems familiar to Luke. It resembles the mask of Kylo Ren, forever carved into Luke's memory after the night he saw it for the first time. However, this mask is different in shape and is grey and red instead of black and silver. The dark figure lifts its hand to remove their mask, letting out a light so bright that their face is indistinguishable. It stands in contrast with the dark attire of the figure and the lightsaber's red color. The warrior turns around and continues its path toward the entrance of the temple. Thunder strikes again and the temple begins to crumble, burying the figure under the falling rocks. Everything goes black._

His thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door. Luke turned his head and saw Leia leaning on the doorframe.

"Are you coming to the meeting?" Her expression seemed very serious and concerned. "Admiral Ackbar informed me that he has important information."

"I'm coming, but I'd like to show you something first." Luke pointed at the holodisk. "Maz delivered it through one of our spies on Takodana. You should take a look."

The petite figure of Maz Kanata appeared again as it repeated her message. After it finished, Leia shot a look at Luke, the degree of her concern obviously increased.

"Who is Revan?"

"The greatest warrior of the past, the Jedi and the Sith, the Savior and the Conqueror, the Hero and the Villain. The one who looked into both sides of the Force. I had the same vision, but I hadn't understood the true meaning. I saw the mask and thought it was Ren, in some moment of his past or future. But it was not Ren. It was Revan. Maz recognized him and the planet where his temple is buried now. The holocron of Revan contains the hidden knowledge of the ways of the Force, both Light and Dark." He looked into Leia's eyes with his pure blue ones, and she recognised the fire that sometimes shone at the back of his gaze. It worried her.

"I see where you are going with this, Luke, and my answer is no. No going to Ialia and no risky operations." She began to pace nervously, "You know we have enough problems as it is. We cannot afford more. I need you here, and in diplomatic missions. The Resistance doesn't need some old holocron. We need allies, people, resources. You just returned from a diplomatic mission on Toydaria and saw for yourself how difficult it is to find ships and weapons." Leia's eyes turned from strict to pleading, "Besides, I am afraid to lose you, as I lost Han and Ben. I need you here. Not on some forsaken planet who knows where, swinging your lightsaber and risking your life for something that _may_ help us."

"You cannot hold me back, Leia." Luke's voice remained calm. "The Force is guiding us, and I know you feel this knowledge is essential, too. What if Snoke finds the holocron? What then?"

Their conversation was interrupted by a knock on the door. Poe Dameron coughed to attract the attention of the Skywalker twins and said, "General Organa, Master Luke, the Council has gathered and is waiting for you."

Leia sighed and nodded.

"We haven't finished with this conversation, Luke, and you have yet to convince me."

Luke shrugged his shoulders but didn't answer, letting her pass through the doorway before him and following Poe towards the Council room.

-x-

The leading heads of the Resistance stood around an oval table with a big holoprojector in its center.

"We need to discuss our current situation and strategy," General Leia Organa began, her voice strong and clear. "I'll try to summarize what Luke and I learned from our recent diplomatic missions. As we all know, after the destruction of Hosnian Prime, the New Republic split up. Several systems joined the First Order, breaking the remaining Senate into pieces. The tension between these factions increased rapidly and conflicts which had previously been settled with peaceful debates are now regulated with violence instead of diplomacy. The Senate tries to perform its functions, but it's met with criticism from both the First Order and its Senators." The audience began to grumble indignantly, but the general silenced them with a wave of her small hand. "We have part of the former Senate standing with us, which didn't support the Resistance from the beginning. Some are now blaming us for the loss of Hosnian Prime and demanding a stop to our actions. However, there is some good news. We still have our true allies, and with Luke's return and his diplomatic skills, we have found new ones. The victory against Starkiller Base has also brought us help, including new ships, information, people, and resources. But the New Republic's trust in the Resistance is still weak and the First Order strengthens its positions. Many in the Senate remain uncommitted and we need to do everything we can to gain their support. We need new victories!" A round of applause followed the General's declaration.

"Now I give the floor to Admiral Ackbar, who has an important message for the Resistance."

The Mon Calamari stepped forward and began his speech, "I have a message from the Head of Ialia, Ajoah'nipad." Leia flinched in surprise, as she remembered her conversation with Luke. "He is an old friend of mine from the days of the Civil War. Many of you remember him from the Battle of Endor as a great war tactician and brave warrior. After the end of the war, he returned to his home planet and was offered the position of the Head of Ialia. They are a peaceful nation and didn't provoke any attacks."

Admiral Ackbar pushed a button on the holographic table and a short Twi'lek male with two very long lekku appeared.

" _My dear Gial, I'm sending you this message in a time of great desperation and disaster for my people,"_ the recording said in a deep voice. _"I hope this message reaches you and that you'll be able to forward it to General Organa. As you know, the Empire came after the people of Ialia and we, who never were enslaved and worshiped knowledge and science, became slaves. After the war passed and the Empire fell, my planet slowly recovered and we lived in peace until today. The hungry beast calling itself the First Order came and ripped away our lives and our freedom, enslaving most of our population, forcing them to work in mines created below a mountain near the capital."_ He sighed and continued, his voice trembling from emotion, " _I have already sent an official aid request to the New Republic, but I know they won't help us due to the absence of a military fleet. My most trusted political assistant, the Library Guardian, was seized and executed, as were most members of the Council of Elders. I managed to kill the Stormtroopers who came into my office and hid in the labyrinths of the Library. However,"_ his face shuddered _, "I couldn't protect my wife - she was killed in our home. She has been ill for several years and bedridden. The First Order's stormtroopers, who came into my house, considered her unworthy to live because she couldn't work in the diggings and couldn't be sold as a slave. All citizens who object to the First Order or can't work in the diggings are executed without trial. The children are separated from their families in order to force the parents to cooperate. As the only member of the government who is still able to talk, I beg you for help."_

"I think this is a good opportunity for the Resistance to strengthen its position, " Luke broke the silence that followed the end of the message. "We may gain the trust of several Republic systems."

"General, I will talk not because Ajo is my friend, but as your officer," Ackbar said calmly. "A victory under the guidance of Luke Skywalker will prove that our victory against Starkiller Base was not an accident or a fluke, and will confirm the Resistance's reliability in protecting the members of the New Republic. We have an official aid request from the government of the planet. Besides that, a rescue of an enslaved population will boost our position in the eyes of the Senate and can help us obtain new allies."

Leia chewed her lips for a few moments in thought and then reservedly nodded, looking at the star map of the sector which replaced the blue figure of Ajoah'nipad. The map indicated the Karnian sector with a bright star in its center and a lone planet rotating around it.

"You're both right. We'll send four Resistance Attack shuttles with landing forces, as well as X-wings and gunships. They'll start an attack on the garrison in town and the slavery complex around the mountain. Meanwhile, Luke and Rey will fly the Millennium Falcon on a mission of their own."

"I have a suggestion, General," Admiral Ackbar approached Leia and waved his hand, diminishing the scale of the map, "We can perform an attack somewhere else in the First Order's territory to distract the main forces and increase our chances on Ialia. We'll fly somewhere out here," he pointed at the sectors he talked about, "Make a commotion and then just run off."

"I approve your suggestion, Admiral." Leia lifted her gaze to everyone in the room and asked, "Does anyone have objections? You know that you can speak freely."

Poe Dameron raised his hand. Leia nodded to her best pilot, "Yes, Poe?"

"I have no objections, I want to volunteer for the operation. The Black Squadron will cover the landing forces."

"I accept your suggestion with gratitude, Black Leader. However, I asked for objections. Does somebody have any?" She paused. "No? Then we begin preparing for the operation on Ialia. I'll give the orders regarding preparations during the next hour. Return to your duties."

-x-

The conference room was empty, except for the Skywalker twins. Leia folded her hands on her chest, but she didn't look angry or annoyed.

"Is that what you meant by 'another Force sign'?"

Luke smiled and approached his sister, unfolding her hands and holding them in his own.

"What are the odds of Ackbar receiving a call for help and Maz's vision? It's not a coincidence, Leia."

Leia sighed and pursed her lips, the very same way she did when she was young.

"I know, Luke, I know. The ways of the Force cannot be understood by a mere human. But what of Rey? What if the Knights of Ren are there, too? Will she need to face _him_ again? And what if she is not ready?"

"She never will be." Luke squeezed his sister's palms reassuringly, "She'll have to come out of this condition sooner than later, and face her demons. I know she'll make the right choice, when the time comes." He sighed, "You know, she told me enough to realize that something happened between them, not as teacher and apprentice, but as man and woman. Rey told me that despite the conflicting feelings she has for Kylo Ren, she'll kill him in cold blood if he directly threatens the Resistance. Does that sound like anyone _you_ know?" He shot a insightful glance at Leia.

A bitter smile appeared on her lips, "What else could I tell her? If I were younger, I'd advise her to listen to her heart. But I'm not so young anymore and I know listening to your heart sometimes brings you nothing but pain."

Luke looked into her tired, brown eyes and hugged his sister, understanding that she needs his support. She mumbled into his shoulder, "I'm so tired of this war, so tired of losing people. In two or three days you'll fly to Ialia and I will sit here and wonder which faces I'll never see again. What if it's yours, Luke?"

"Shh, don't speak like that. I'm a Jedi, I'll definitely return," he soothed her as if she were a child. She hugged him back and hid her face in his brown attire, and he stroked her hair. They stood in silence, and the world around them seemed unusually calm, the hot sun of Atollon shining through the window, making their shadows look grotesque. The Skywalkers were both fighters and both knew that this serenity was only an illusion, a respite before the next fight, but they relished it, giving strength in each other's support.

* * *

 _ **A/N: Looks like everybody is going to have an adventure on some new planet!**_

 _ **The beginning of the war through the eyes of a child – did I touch you heart, my readers?**_

 _ **Phew, I'll tell you, that imagining a new world is challenging. No emotions, just planning the city, citizens, their professions, climate, the buildings and communications… It regards not only this particular chapter, but some of the upcoming ones, which are now being proceeded through the beta-reading.**_

 _ **Reviews are welcome ;)**_


	13. Chapter 13 - The First Blood

_**A/N Did you miss me, my kittens?**_

 _ **The edits of this chapter took a huge amount of time. However, my Reylo-trash heart needed the release during these long long weeks without posting, so my need to create found a different way to be expressed. Now you can not only read me, but also see the world inside of my head (including the illustrations for this fic), because I created an account for my arts on Tumblr (ronrines. tumblr. com) and Deviant Art (ronrinesu. deviantart. com) and now have** **already** **drawn some Reylo arts, which are waiting for your love!=)) Hope you'll like them.**_

 _ **I need to thank my betas Darth Retailation and Garden Guru for their hard work.**_

* * *

 **Chapter 13. The First Blood**

Luke and Chewie were piloting the Millennium Falcon towards Ialia, leaving a bored Rey to wander around the ship. She found herself lying on a spare bed, staring at the metal ceiling and thinking of the days spent with the Resistance after her escape from the Finalizer. Those days were always the same. She would eat, sleep, practice and help in the hangars as a mechanic. With Ren, every day was different. Of course, she spent most of the time analyzing Ren's behavior and fighting him, and planning her escape. Yet, she felt a strange emptiness inside of her soul. Ever since the incident in Maz Kanata's cantina, her bond with Ren was cut off as if it never existed in the first place. Her nights were quiet, without nightmares. But sometimes, she would see a dark figure pass through her dreams and feel shadows of forgotten kisses on her body. But those were just dreams, and Rey brushed away those forbidden thoughts from her mind after she woke up. She preferred not to disturb those memories and just live, performing the same series of activities every day, concentrating on her work and her friends.

Her training with Luke was productive, but it lacked the passion and anger she had grown used to during her time with Ren. However, the absence of emotions was good and Rey was grateful for the ability to forget which allowed her to leave behind her self-loathing and just move on. She had never been as good on the Light Side of the Force as she was right now with her passionate emotions turned dull and pushed at the back of her thoughts. Rey forbade herself to feel anything aside from two emotions - her sense of friendly attachment towards Luke, Finn, Poe and Leia, and her sense of duty to the Resistance.

Luke seemed satisfied with her progress, even with her meditations which were like ice melting under a warm sun - slow and serene.

Her fighting style was now much more fluid and dangerous, causing Luke to struggle with blocking her attacks. Sparring with Luke was the polar opposite of fighting with Ren. Luke never tried to push her over the edge and his victories never felt humiliating, but when she allowed herself to think of Ren, she confessed that she missed the thrill that a hard-earned fight with him brought her. It felt as if his usual scoldings and scoffs made his scarce praises much more precious. Yet, not having the constant desire to kill your teacher _was_ more normal.

Her thoughts were interrupted by а soft knock. She saw Finn standing in the doorway, his face grim and determined.

"Finn, what happened?" Startled, she sat up on the tiny bed.

"Uh, nothing. Just need to talk with you."

She sat with her legs crossed and patted the surface of the bed beside her, inviting Finn to sit beside her. He hesitantly approached her and sat, clutching his hands nervously.

"What's up?" Rey asked. She was perplexed by his unusual demeanor.

Finn was quiet for a moment and then turned towards her, grasping her small hand and began to speak in a low voice.

"Listen to me, Rey, and please don't interrupt or I'll never have the courage to say it." He obviously struggled with the words he was intending to say. "Now that we're on the mission and I don't know what tomorrow will bring, I wanted to take this step. I know that you're training with Luke to be a Jedi and we're in the middle of a war, but I just needed to tell you, that I care for you."

"Oh, Finn, you mean a lot to me too-," She began to speak, but he silenced her with a gesture.

"I haven't finished yet. I mean, my feelings for you are more than just friendship." He looked into her wide eyes, inhaled and blurted, "I-like-you-very-much, Rey." Finn wiped a bead of sweat from his forehead, seemingly relieved for now. "Phew! I can't believe I said it." She seemed mute from shock and he raised his hand defensively. "I don't ask anything from you. I understand that you have your duties and that we're flying towards an occupied planet, but I felt like you needed to know that. And maybe…if you feel the same, we could…try?" He looked into her eyes, searching for an answer, but her stare was blank. Assuming that he had nothing to lose anyway and encouraged by the lack of immediate refusal, he closed his eyes tight and leaned forward, his lips meeting hers in a chaste kiss.

A mix of feelings passed through Rey's mind. No one had ever expressed feelings of affection like this towards her before. Even Ren, during their last night, never said those words, allowing her only to sense his feelings through the bond, which was not a normal confession. _Could anything ever be considered normal in their strange relationship?_ _Oh, how easy it would be if she loved Finn_. Finn, always reliable, good fellow, normal man, cheerful person. Never menacing, dark or dangerous like Ren, but when Rey searched her feelings, she found nothing except friendship for him. He deserved an honest answer. She broke the kiss and withdrew. Finn opened his eyes and she saw his disappointment and hurt.

"Uhm, Finn," she opened and closed her mouth a few times, not being able to find the right words, "I…You…We…We're good friends, but I don't want anything like that now." She tried not to hurt him, but every word she used seemed wrong. "It's not about the Jedi path, but you're right. We're in the middle of a war and I don't think this is a good time for me. I appreciate your feelings for me very much, really, and I care for you too, but let's be friends for now, okay?" She touched his hand in hesitation, hoping that he understood her and that she didn't offend him.

Finn sighed and found the strength to smile. "Yeah, Rey, I understand. But even though you want to wait, I'm relieved that you know now. But if you want to stay friends, so be it. Right, buddy?"

"Right, buddy," Rey smiled back, relieved that they had managed to save their friendship at least.

The Millennium Falcon's speaker blinked and Rey heard Luke's muffled voice.

"Finn, Rey, hold on, we're preparing to exit hyperspace."

The Millennium Falcon flew out of hyperspace like a cork from a bottle. Rey and Finn made their way towards the flight deck and saw a blue star with only one planet in orbit-Ialia.

"Time to get ready," Luke announced. "We're switching on the anti-radar system."

Rey sneaked back into the living quarters, relieved that Finn stayed with Luke and Chewie. She didn't have much to take with her: there was her saberstaff, which was always by her side, but she needed something else as well. Rey didn't know what pushed her to bring it with her or what motivated her to take it out now. It was silly, but she felt as if it was necessary to fulfill something predestined. How could a piece of cloth be necessary in any way? Rey opened the bag and pulled out the crimson cloak, throwing it around her shoulders. _Hide your face in the shadow._ The deep voice entered her memories, dark and deep as always. She was about to chase this thought away when another sentence came to her mind: this time, however, the voice was demanding, yet gentle. _Don't hide from me. You're beautiful_. She cautiously checked the bond, but it was still mute. Rey put on her hood and glanced at her reflection in the mirror. The hood covered her face almost entirely and she felt strangely satisfied with this fact. Before walking out of her quarters, she smirked to herself bitterly. _I have truly become your pupil, my masked Master of the Knights of Ren_ , she thought, unable to draw her mind away from a man she had tried to forget.

-x-

Nallok'galor, the capital of Ialia, resembled a spider web because of its high octagonal wall encircling it. It had an enormous building in its center, which was probably the Library. On the southern side of the town, Rey noticed platforms of a spaceport with parked TIE-fighters on them. The Millennium Falcon headed towards the mountain near the capital, which was now covered with a net of outposts. The bottom of the mountain, on the side where it was facing the town, was divested of its green cover, half-dismantled, with hundreds of humans and Twi'lek swarming its surface despite that the sun had almost disappeared behind the horizon. Rey realized that it was the excavation site mentioned during the Twi'lek leader's message to the Resistance. Judging by the number of gunships and shuttles, the excavations had better protection than the town itself.

"Okay, I'll repeat the plan to all of you." said Luke, glancing towards his crew, "The Head, Ajoah'nipad, will be waiting for us on the northern side of the mountain. He assured me that this is a place free of outposts. We will leave the Falcon and wait. The Resistance attack shuttles will drop their landing forces and attack the main garrison of the town. After that, they'll target the excavations' outposts near the main entrance. The Black Squadron and the gunships will provide the air cover, while we'll sneak towards a hidden secondary entrance. Even if the nights on Ialia are not completely dark, it should be enough to hide us. If we're lucky, the confusion created by the attack will clear our path, but there's a huge possibility that we will need to fight our way through the Stormtroopers. So," he sighed, "Try not to die, understand?"

They all nodded as the Millennium Falcon approached the mountain and Rey noticed a tiny sparkle of light near the mountain's base.

"That must be Ajo's signal for us," explained Luke, "Chewie, we need to descend towards it." The Wookie nodded in agreementl. The ship flew soundlessly towards the flicker of light, bringing into view the figure of a tall male Twi'lek holding a lantern in the distance. Beside him stood a Twi'lek girl and a young human man, both holding blast rifles. The Millennium Falcon landed in front of the trio.

Luke rose from his seat, putting his cloak on and heading towards the exit. Rey followed him in silence. Chewie and Finn walked out last. As they descended the ramp, the awaiting trio approached the ship. Luke shook hands with the tall Twi'lek, while Rey recognised him as Ajoah'nipad. He looked similar to his holographic projection, although it didn't reproduce the color of his skin which was a light purple.

"I am so glad that my messages reached you, Master Skywalker," said the Head in a pleasant, deep voice while waving one of his lekku. "This is my daughter, Nolaah'nipad, and Bert Velde, the Junior Librarian. I know that Twi'lek names are challenging for humans, so you can call me Ajo and my daughter Nola."

Luke introduced his crew. Rey took off her hood and smiled to the Twi'lek girl, who seemed to be around her age. She smiled back with a move of her lekku. Nola's smile lightened Rey's mood a bit and she shifted her gaze to Bert. He smiled at her too, but, for some reason, Rey didn't like his smile. Maybe because of his blue, watery eyes, which resembled the eyes of General Hux, or maybe he averted his gaze too quickly. Something seemed wrong with the guy. But Ajo probably had his reasons to trust Bert, which encouraged her to let it go. Luke seemed not to notice him and Rey wondered if she was imagining it. After all, they didn't have to like each other to fight against their common enemy.

-x-

Poe Dameron, the Black Leader, flew at the head of his squadron towards the Nallok'galor.

"Okay, guys, time to kick some ass! Black Wing, you lead the attack on the spaceport and throw some bombs on the TIE fighters. I'll lead the other half of the squadron towards the excavations. We need to set fire to as many of their shuttles and turrets as we can. After the attack, our shuttles will drop the landing forces and we will need to cover them until they capture the armory and free the slaves. The main garrison is set inside the library, so after the attack on the TIE fighters, Black Wing will lead his X-wings towards the Main Square. We'll flush them out of the Library."

The loudspeaker in his helmet croaked and he heard the voice of Black Wing, "Understood, Black Leader, staying on course for the spaceport. Always loved to burn First Order cans."

"Okay, remember, those tailhead fellows are counting on us. Don't screw this up," teased Poe and headed towards the mountain, watching as his fighters turned towards the spaceport. "Good luck, guys! See you above the Main Square!"

He led the remaining fighters towards the mountain when suddenly, flashes of light began to appear along the perimeter of the excavation complex. Poe cursed while he recognized them. Those were the lights of the First Order aerial defense. _Kriff_. He adjusted his headphones and spoke into the speaker, "Guys, we have a problem."

But they never got a chance to reconsider their tactics: the aerial defence of the First Order began its work.

-x-

They all heard the roar of gunfire and distant shouts.

"The attack of the Resistance on Ialia has begun. We need to go. Follow me." Ajo lifted his lantern and drew a blaster out of his robe, while Nola and Bert adjusted their rifles into a firing position. Rey took her lightsaber and clutched it, not igniting yet, fearing that its blue glow could betray their whereabouts to the enemy. They sneaked along the hillside like thieves in the darkness, one by one, forming a chain. Ajo was at the head with his lantern and Chewie was at the end, with his bowcaster. They followed one of the narrow tracks through the high brush, covering the mountain's surface. Rey wondered how they would find the entrance to the temple. The rain began to drizzle and she had already lost any sense of time and space, but Ajo walked forward confidently, as though he followed a map from memory.

Suddenly the narrow track ended and they saw a flat clearing, adjacent to the face of the mountain which hovered over their heads almost vertically. The glade was encircled with groves of young trees and bushes. Rey couldn't help but think that they had no way of escaping if it was a trap. But everything was quiet: there was only the rain and the muffled sounds of attack from afar which disturbed the silence. The landscape seemed familiar to Rey, but she couldn't remember where she had seen it before. She had obviously never been to Ialia before: it occured to her that some of the landscapes on D'Qar resembled the picture in front of her eyes. The rain was getting heavier and she wrapped her red cloak around herself more tightly as she moved along the track.

She didn't notice Luke stopping for a moment as if he had hit a wall, his irises widening in recognition. He had seen this landscape in his dreams on Ahch-To: he shot a glance at the figure in crimson walking before him, remembering the vision of Rey's pale face with yellow Sith eyes which haunted him for many a night. Something was going to happen on the green grass of Ialia this day. Would it be the choice of Rey regarding the Darkness or the Light?

He shook his head and stepped into the glade. The Force was guiding them, and he needed to accept the fate awaiting them.

"I need to find the opening mechanism. It must be somewhere here." Ajo put down his lantern and began to drag his hand along the wall.

As they spread out around him, Rey had a bad feeling about the quietness of the glade. The air suddenly felt tense and Rey remembered Luke's words about the absence of dark nights on the planet. Everything was going too smoothly and the silence of the landscape made her think of the lull before the storm. She clutched the handle of her weapon and began to count her heartbeats to calm herself. _One… Two… Three…_

-x-

"Shuttles! Drop your landing forces! We need someone to disable the aerial defence! We'll try to cover you from above," Poe shouted, maneuvering to avoid the blasts. He noticed TIE-fighters approaching, although there was not an overabundance of them. _Thank the stars! The main fighter forces were located on the spaceport and, hopefully, Black Wing would manage to blow-up most of them still on the ground._

"Understood, Black Leader. Dropping the landing forces." He heard the voice of the shuttle captain and ordered: "Black Raven, cover the landing forces!"

"Poe, pshhhhhh…" Poe heard the hiss in his headphones. He knew what that meant and a wave of grief passed over him. He wasn't surprised when he heard the pained voice of Black Eagle.

"Black Leader, Black Raven is down, I'll cover the landing forces."

Poe took a steep turn and saw that the shuttles had landed and that the battle for aerial defence already raged on. Unfortunately, the landing forces were dropped too early because of the unexpected shellfire from the ground. In consequence, the distance that the Resistance soldiers needed to overcome under the fire of TIE-fighters was too long and the Resistance was suffering losses. The white figures of stormtroopers and a contingent of Resistance soldiers and Twi'lek created a variegated mixture. By all appearances, the battle beneath was becoming a real meat-grinder.

Poe caught one of the TIE-fighters in his sights and fired. The fighter shuddered and began to smoke then fell, crashing on the ground.

"Nice shot, Black Leader!" Poe heard someone's praise through the headphones. He looked to the ground and marked with surprise, that the situation began to adjust. The Resistance forces managed to disable most of the aerial defence turrets and now assaulted the armory. They even managed to blow up some of the shuttles, which now burned wildly in the darkness, lighting up the battlefield. Poe noticed that some of the slaves were already carrying weapons and attacking the stormtroopers with rage hardly expected from the Twi'lek.

"Black Wing to Black Leader, we managed to burn most of the TIE-fighters, but some were able to lift off. We need reinforcements."

Poe studied the battlefield again. The Force was on their side - almost all the First Order's gunships were engulfed in flames and the united forces of the Resistance and former slaves had managed to break into the armory. The air battle between the X-wings and TIE-fighters ended in favour of the Resistance. Poe then decided that the massive air cover was no longer needed. "Understood, Black Wing. Black Eagle with his fleet stays on the excavation site, others - follow me to the spaceport, we have some shuttles to burn!"

-x-

 _Four… Five… Six…_

A roll of thunder and Nola's cry interrupted the silence. Rey turned towards her and saw the Twi'lek lying on the ground, clutching her hip where a blood stain was showing. Dozens of stormtroopers appeared from behind the bushes and rushed towards them. Rey turned and caught Bert's gaze in a flare of lightning. He didn't look surprised with the appearance of Stormtroopers. Rey understood everything. They had a rat in their ranks. The trap was shut and they were the prey.

She heard the whoosh of Luke's lightsaber and his shout, "Protect Ajo! We need to open the door!" But his scream was lost in the ocean of blaster fire and yells of battle.

Bert turned towards her and she heard him yell: "Nothing personal, Jedi!"

 _If only she had listened to her intuition and told someone of her suspicions towards Bert_. _If only_.

Everything was happening fast and slow at the same time. As she fought, the images appearing during the lightning strikes became imprinted in her memory. She saw Nola lying on the wet ground unconscious, or maybe already dead, in a pool of her own blood. A Stormtrooper rushed towards Rey, aiming to kill her, but she knocked his weapon from his hands with the Force and pushed him so roughly he flew somewhere behind the bushes. Nearby, she heard Chewie roar and the boom of his bowcaster. She saw Finn falling onto the ground, dodging a shot and shooting back from his blaster. She turned and noticed the squat figure of Ajo, his hand still searching the wall and Luke, hovering over him with his lightsaber ignited, protecting the Head from blaster shots.

"Rey! Behind you!" Rey heard Finn's cry and turned around just in time to dodge the blow of a Force pike. She caught it with one of the blades of her saber and twitched, knocking it from the hands of the stormtrooper, pushing him away with the Force. He fell onto his back, trying to crawl away from her, unarmed, lifting one hand in defence. He lost his helmet while falling, revealing the face of the young man, trembling in fear.

Suddenly a determined intent to kill her enemy came into her mind. _Just kill him_ , whispered the voice, _bask in your power_. _He would have killed you without hesitation, if your friend hadn't warned you_. _Eye for an eye, that's the rule of war_. _He deserves death_. _How many Twi'lek and humans were lying on the streets of Nallok'gallor the day the First Order came onto the planet, shot by the troops simply to intimidate them all? How many of them were shot by the hand of this particular soldier?_ Rey tried to brush the voice away, but it stayed inside her head, driving her mad, tempting her. She desperately searched for the inner peace inside of her mind, but it was gone.

 _She couldn't resist the voice. With a feral scream, she rotated her lightsaber and beheaded the stormtrooper. His warm blood splashed into her face and she licked her lips, feeling the salty irony taste of her first murder._

* * *

 _ **A/N A sweet cliffie never made the story worse ;) Hope the long wait was worth it! Also, I again announce that I have more chapters already written. But their edits take a lot of time. I'm not dead, even if I don't post for weeks, I'm waiting for the texts to return to me edited as much as you do =) Just want to provide you with the best story!**_


	14. Chapter 14 - Choices

_**A/N: I'm here with you again.**_

 _ **Hopefully, the problems with beta-reading I had so far are solved.**_

 _ **I want to thank my pal Darth Retailation for staying with me despite the harsh time with the college.**_

 _ **Also, my hugs to Tumblr Reylo community and especially to cosette-giry who found the time to read and edit all the written chapters. Tehanu, Applesith, Darkling – you're in my heart, girls.**_

 **Chapter 14. Choices**

"Rey! No! Resist the Dark Side!"

Rey heard Luke's yell from behind. She shook her head and saw the young stormtrooper lying in front of her in the mud, lifting his palm in defense, his eyes wide with fear. _Alive_. The beheading occurred only inside her mind…

Rey slowly lowered the saber as her prey crawled to safety with the dexterity of a cockroach, ascended to his feet, wobbled a little and ran away towards the thickets. The sound of blaster fire notified her of the ongoing battle.

-x-

Rey didn't even remember who was her first kill, or which side of the Force she used - bare instincts filled her head and she struck with her saberstaff, pushed with the Force, and struck again. The Force guided her movements and her head felt light and empty. She didn't feel hatred towards the Stormtroopers anymore. She just performed a series of blows necessary to win the battle.

Suddenly, they all heard Ajo's triumphant yell, "I've opened the door!" A part of the mountain wall moved aside, revealing a narrow passage somewhere into the depths of the mountain.

"Everybody! Quickly! Through the door!" Rey heard Luke's cry. With the corner of her eye she saw Chewie hustling through the narrow entrance after Ajo, and caught the familiar brown attire of her teacher, disappearing in the darkness of the tunnel. She pushed aside the last stormtrooper and drew her saber directly through his chest, swinging around, ready to run towards the entrance. But the Finn's agonizing cry behind her back messed up her plans. She turned her head and saw Finn collapsing onto the grass like a rag doll. One of the Stormtroopers, lying on the ground, managed to blow his last shot before passing out. As if everything occurred in slow motion, Rey watched a stain of blood, spreading on the chest of her best friend. _No, Finn. No_ … _NO!_

She rushed towards him, catching his limp body with her arms, and began to shake him, shouting something indistinguishable into his face. But his head dangled limply.

"Rey! You can't help him now! Come here!" She heard Luke shouting from the tunnel. The storm raged, and wind was tousling her cloak. Another strike of lightning lit the glade, followed by the loud thunder. She tried to find Finn's pulse, but she barely felt her hands from the cold rain and she didn't sense anything. Rey hugged Finn's head, cradling it in her arms as if it was a child and burst into tears, wailing like a wounded animal.

"REY!" Another outcry from Luke sank in the roll of thunder. The mountain sighed, like a tired woman, and a shudder shook its surface, followed by the rumble of falling stones. Rey turned her tearstained face towards the mountain, still holding Finn's body in her arms and realised that the entrance had collapsed, burying her friends under the rocks.

-x-

The battle in the sky above the spaceport was cruel and ruthless. Despite that, more than half of the TIE-fighters couldn't take off and were now engulfed in flames, sending flaring lights into the dark sky. The other half prepared to sell their lives dear. The moment Poe with reinforcements reached the spaceport the outcome of the battle was not clear yet.

"BB-8! Adjust the proton torpedoes!" Poe shouted into the speaker.

Two proton torpedoes left their cells and precisely hit two TIE-fighters. They rotated clumsily in the air and swooped down, leaving black smoke behind them. Poe heard a roar behind his back and realised that one of the gunships left the diggings and was now methodically shooting down TIE-fighters with its green laser cannons. That meant the ground attack was successful and now the united forces of the Resistance and Ialians were heading towards the Library. Poe felt a wave of relief and tried to cheer up the pilots, "Step it up, fellows, the troops on their two feet do better than we do on wings!"

He had to admit that he was just stirring them. The last fighters tried to escape, but each of them had at least three X-wings on its tail. They had one last goal left - the main garrison in the Library.

-x-

Time stopped for her.

Rey sat on the wet ground, clutching Finn's flight jacket, unable to cry anymore. She should have been there, with her friends, buried under the landslip.

 _Finn saved her life._

Nobody tried to attack her and she wondered why, all of sudden, the glade was rid of stormtroopers. Her answer came in the form of a whooshing and cracking sound behind her.

 _Oh, how she was tired of fighting tonight_.

However, without even thinking, she gripped the handle of her saber. She stood up, took a few deep breaths and turned around.

Rey wasn't surprised by what she saw.

Six Knights of Ren stood before her, led by their Master. The black cloak of Kylo Ren was beating in the wind and the raindrops were washing down his mask in thin streams. She ignited her lightsaber and stood in a defensive position. The blue glow of the saberstaff blades made her face look even more pale.

"Who wants to go first?" she said gloomily.

Ren made a step forward, clutching his already ignited lightsaber. Something was wrong with him. She had never felt such pure Darkness in him before: it emanated in waves. She flinched, understanding that she never knew what happened to Ren the day she collapsed in Maz's cantina. _What had he experienced?_ He told her once, that he preferred to kill her with his own hand than to take her to Snoke, because what Snoke did with people was worse than death. Now, Ren waved his hand to his Knights to stay out of the duel. He approached her slowly in a way Rey didn't recognize. The Ren she knew was different from the creature she now saw in front of her. _A killing machine_.

"Your last will, _scavenger_." His tone even lacked his usual scoffing. He stated things _matter-of-fact_ ly, devoid of any emotions. Even that word, _scavenger_ , didn't sound offensive. She was the scavenger and he used the word not intending to nettle, as he usually did during their trainings, but to simply state the truth.

"I want to see your face." She expected him to laugh at her for this request, to call her names, but he simply lifted his hands and removed his mask, carelessly throwing it onto the ground.

She yelped in shock and shut her mouth with her palm. On his pale, haggard face she saw two glowing yellow eyes, marked blood-red around the irises.

"Now, you can die," stated Kylo Ren. Then he rushed towards her, raising his saber for the mortal blow.

-x-

Little Eva sat in a corner of a dark room and cried herself once again to sleep, just as she had done the previous night and the night before.

She was hungry, cold and miserable.

The room was full of other children, both human and Twi'lek, sitting and lying on the floor in different poses. Some of them were afraid of thunder, which reverberated from the walls of the room, but they cried soundlessly, knowing that a loud cry was always followed by a punishment. The children huddled together like nestlings who had lost their mother.

They heard the creaking of the door in the corridor and even those who would usually cry in fear became mute. The room lapsed into dead silence, since even the youngest of them knew that the men in white armor never were a good sign. They didn't see anybody else apart from those men during those days.

"Kriff, Six-Two, I hate that job. I know that we took the oath and so on, but they all are children… Most of them have those two strange tails on their heads and skin, colored into all shades of the rainbow, but they're children anyway." Eva heard the man's voice from the corridor, supposedly muffled by the white helmet all those men wore. He spoke the common language.

"Just carry out your orders Seven-Seven. Some wealthy people are ready to give the First Order a big amount of credits for every healthy tailhead girl, even if they're far from their legal age. Or I can say, _especially_ if they're far from it." Eva heard the voice of the other man and his tone frightened her, despite the fact she didn't understand what they were talking about. She heard the man, which the second one addressed as 'Seven-Seven', choking, saying, "I think this is disgusting."

"We're not here to think, Seven-Seven, leave it to the officers. We're here to fulfill the orders."

The door of the room opened and all the children froze like a flock of frightened chicks. The men in the white armour chose a few of them every day and those chosen disappeared behind the door, never coming back. Two of the soldiers came into the room, holding rifles.

"Okay, we'll take that, that and that," Eva recognised the voice of 'Six-Two'. Suddenly, he turned his head and the dead black eyes of his helmet gazed directly into Eva's orange ones. He approached her and roughly lifted her from the ground by her tiny arm, "And that blue-skinned cutie too."

It was painful and she couldn't stifle a cry. But he just shook her and said acidly, "Shut up, or I'll slap you."

She was very young, but she understood the destiny of those children who disappeared behind the door was hardly anything good. She tried to free herself from the strong grip, and cried in her mother-tongue, "Leave me! You are hurting me!"

However, the 'Six-Two' man just turned towards her and slapped her face hard, "I said, shut up… Aaah!" He hit her without his armored gloves so as not to ruin her face, and when he again grabbed her hand she bit him as strongly as she could manage, till she tasted his blood on her tongue. He cursed and hauled off for the next slap.

"Six-Two, why do you beat the girl? She's just scared!" 'Seven-Seven' seemed shocked with his actions.

But the damage had been already done. Eva felt unfamiliar feelings overwhelming her tiny being. She had never felt like that ever in her short life but the word in common language popped up in her mind. _Hatred_. She felt hatred towards the Six-Two man. When they caught her and transported to this room with other children, she saw the body of a woman of her race, ungracefully lying on the street between the houses. Eva had never seen death before and she didn't even know the word for it, but now she wanted to see the Six-Two lying in the same unnatural pose that woman had the day she saw her. The man roughly pulled her towards the door, "C'mon, stupid tailhead, don't make me beat you again."

She cried in desperation and suddenly he released her hand and froze to the spot. He lifted his hands to his throat and emitted a strange croaking sound.

"Six-Two, you all right?" Eva heard the concerned voice of that Seven-Seven guy. But she didn't turn to him. She kept staring at Six-Two, wanting to see him _lying as that woman_ with all her might. Six-Two collapsed on the floor, now obviously choking, trying to remove his helmet, but unable to do that.

"Six-Two!" Seven-Seven rushed towards his pal, but he already lay limp. Seven-Seven looked at her face. It was not different from the faces of other children - tearstained and afraid, her eyes studying him with a silent question.

"He must have had a weak heart," said Seven-Seven into nothingness, not completely aware who he wanted to reassure - children or himself. The Twi'lek girl still stood mute, seeming shocked, gazing at him with two orange eyes.

"I'll go fetch some help to remove the body," uttered Seven-Seven and rushed from the room.

Eva touched the body with one of her tiny feet. It didn't move, lying in the same pose that woman lay in the street. She felt an awkward satisfaction. Losing her interest in the man, Eva went to the corner and lay down, feeling strangely drained, and passed out into a deep sleep without dreams.

-x-

Their sabers met and sparkled almost simultaneously with another stroke of lightning.

They fought a mortal dance under heavy rain, thunder applauding each blow, cheering their duel on. Wind tousled their cloaks, making them look like a strange flower, one half black, the other one red.

Their movements were fast. No matter how hard Rey tried she couldn't see any sort of emotion in Ren's yellow eyes- only pure intent to kill. His blows were dangerous, but she didn't feel even his rage and anger, which usually fuelled his attacks. Something was definitely wrong. He was still deeply immersed in the Dark Side of the Force. Maybe even stronger than before, and she couldn't help but wonder what fueled him.

He caught one of her blades into the cross of his blade and blocked it. Now, they were standing almost in the same pose as when they stood over the cliff on Starkiller Base, but this time, he didn't speak to her and she saw no longing in his dreadful eyes. She looked into them, searching for the trace of any emotion, but they seemed dead. He slowly and determinedly pushed her with his saber. She needed to do something. But he blocked all her possible movements and she could only stand and hold his saber with her own, sliding backwards on the wet grass. Not completely aware of what she was doing, she clutched the handle of her saber in the middle with one hand and released the other. Rey couldn't hold off his push with a single hand for too long, but during those few moments she managed to hold him, she hauled off and slapped him hard.

He recoiled in shock, immediately releasing her saber, and she managed to push him with the Force. Out of nowhere, their Bond opened anew and she realised what fueled his power. _Pain_. Incredible pain consumed him and Rey wondered how he even managed to walk and fight. It was unbearable: General Hux's interrogation seemed like the smarting from a scratch compared with this pain. Uncontrollable fire raged inside his soul, ripping and tearing his mind, holding him at the edge of sanity.

He recovered swiftly and once again rushed at her, his yellow eyes full of anger. Leia's voice passed through Rey's mind: _"If you sense light within him - give him a try_." She didn't sense any Light in the ocean of pain; only fire and darkness. Yet, she still hoped the Ben Solo she once saw behind the mask of Kylo Ren was still alive, somewhere in the back of his consciousness.

"Ben, listen to me!" Their sabers met again, hissing. Rey parried his swift blows and tried to reach his mind with her yells. "Ben, let me share the pain with you! We can manage it together!"

But he didn't hear her or just simply ignored her pleas. His dead, yellow eyes stared into her face devoid of emotion. He already pressed her to the edge of the glade and every minute she expected to feel the surface of the mountain behind her back.

Rey began to feel exhausted. He was fresh, and his pain brought him power while she had already been fighting for a long time now. She missed parrying one of his blows and now had another deep burn on her arm. He pushed her away with the Force and she fell onto the wet ground. She sprang to her feet and barely managed to deflect a mortal lunge. Her strength was slowly oozing away. Rey realized with bitterness that she was alone on some foreign planet, with her friends dead and the person she held some strange feelings for intended to kill her. She dodged from the blow, which would have beheaded her if she didn't, and cried in desperation, feeling tears falling down her face, "You're a good person, don't do that!"

But he stayed deaf to her pleas and struck blow after blow. Finally, he knocked the saber out of her cold curled fingers. It flew away, disabled. She had no strength to fight further anyway and it was time to concede defeat. She stood tense and straight, unhooded, and he slowly lifted his crackling blade towards her face.

"Kneel, " his voice was cold and distant, "Kneel before me and your death will be quick."

 _Never_.

"As you wish."

She noticed how his hand slightly trembled, but he didn't move the saber from her face.

She closed her eyes and accepted the inevitable. There she stood, a girl from a small desert planet, ready to die under the foreign dark sky pouring floods of water, so precious in her homeworld, onto her head. _What a mock of destiny_.

 _Was she even a Jedi?_ She didn't know, but she welcomed death as if she was. She exhaled and closed her eyes, feeling the Force enveloping her, calming her troubled mind, clearing her thoughts.

The Force was neither Dark, nor Light - it was Grey, and its song was pure and beautiful.

It lured her to dissolve in it, to leave the pain and imperfection of human existence behind her. Rey opened her eyes and looked into Ren's face without hatred or anger. Her soul was rid of the emotions, except one, which she needed to express before her death. In slow motion she saw Ren hauling off over his shoulder and the red sparkling blade began its path towards her neck. She screwed up her eyes tight and pushed the last thought in her life through the Bond.

 _I love you, Ben_.

-x-

"Hey, kids."

Eva shifted her head and turned towards the entrance. The dead body of Six-Two was gone and another white figure stood in the doorway. Since it didn't seem dangerous she got to onto her feet, but still kept a safe distance. Her head slowly cleared from the remnants of slumber and she recognised the voice. _Seven-seven_.

He entered the room, closing the door tight behind him, and sat on his haunches not far from the children. Than he lifted his palms to his mask and pulled it off, revealing a very young human male, almost still a child, with blond hair and freckles on his boyish nose. His big hazel eyes studied the children.

"Listen to me, kids. I heard that the X-wings and the Resistance landing forces are nearby." He talked with them as if they all were adults while they listened to him with serious faces, although not understanding the half of the words he used. "The troops have an order to blow up the library in case of defeat. You all will be dead in that case." They looked at him with the same serious faces as before. _What does it mean, to be dead?_

He sighed, understanding that he might as well speak to stones with the same success, "Okay, who wants so see his mommy?" The faces of children lit up with understanding. _That was an understandable language_. "Now listen carefully. I'll take you away from the Library. But you all need to be very, very quiet. Understand?" They all nodded.

Little Eva approached Seven-Seven and looked directly into his eyes, "Why are you helping us, Seven-Seven?"

His face flinched with emotion, "I remember the face of my mother. It can't be true, because they took us from our families right after birth, but every night I see the face of a woman, twisted with pain and grief. I think that's my mother's face." Eva approached him further and he lifted his hand, lightly touching the bruise on her chin, which appeared after Six-Two hit her. He said in a low voice, "I'm loyal to the First Order, but I can't let you all die. My mother won't let me do that." He talked more to himself, than with Eva. She didn't understand the words 'First Order' or why he wasn't supposed to know the face of his mother, but somehow, the incident with Six-Two opened her senses as if she had been sleeping before, and now was awake. She caught a trace of his emotion and that was enough.

"You're good. You wear those white plates on your body, but you're good. I trust you, Seven-Seven." She stretched her tiny hand to him and they went out of the room, the stream of children of all ages and skin colours following them in silence.

-x-

Rey expected the pain.

Yet it never came.

She opened her eyes and saw the red blade trembling mere inches from her neck, almost burning her skin. Her intent to die flew away in seconds and she felt relief, far too early. Kylo Ren's always pale face stayed unreadable, his eyes a sithy yellow. However, the corners of his lips twitched slightly, as if some internal struggle occurred inside his soul.

Rey hadn't moved an inch, too afraid to make a wrong move.

Suddenly, Ren disabled his lightsaber and his fingers unclenched, letting it fall onto the ground. He grabbed the collar of her cloak and roughly pulled her towards himself. Everything occurred in mere seconds and she didn't manage to think anything before she felt his feverish lips on hers.

The bond opened completely, and she was lost in the ocean of his pain. The wildfire raged inside his mind and somewhere far away, at the back of his consciousness, she noticed the tiny curled figure of a dark-haired boy, lying on the ground, clutching his head in desperation among the flames.

They shared his pain, but it seemed not enough. _The ocean. It is so… beautiful_. She remembered his distant face, while he told her that he saw the ocean inside of her, lying on the floor of their training space after their dogfight. She tried to brush away the pain, imagining the waves of the ocean devouring the flames. It must have helped, because the boy stirred and shifted his gaze, letting her observe two big brown eyes on his tearstained face. _Hold on, Ben. Water is stronger than Fire_. _Just hold on a bit longer_.

Rey never knew why the Force decided to stay as an ocean inside of her, since she never saw it on Jakku. Its local language didn't even have the word for such amount of water. But now, she broke her dams and a roaring flow dashed through the bond, eliminating the flames. _She was the wide river. She was the salty sea. The ocean. The rain, which fell endlessly from the sky of Ialia that night. The cold stream, breaking the earth crust in its dash towards the daylight. The beads of morning dew on the grass. The glacier, falling down from the mountain and melting into thousands of fast mountain rivers_. _The waterfall in jungles she never saw with her own eyes_. _She was Life itself. She was Water_.

Rey opened her eyes, feeling drained, and looked into his face. Ren's eyes were shut and she waited in hesitation, blood pumping heavily in her ears.

Finally, Ren opened his eyes and blinked a few times as if he had just woken up, and gazed at her. His face was a mix of contrasting emotions, but it didn't matter.

The eyes that looked down at her were brown.


	15. Chapter 15 - The Legacy

**Chapter 15. The Legacy**

The silent group of children sneaked along the dark corridors of the Library, among the high shelves, full of information in various forms. The shelves covered the walls of the corridors from the floor to the ceiling and Eva threw her head back with an open mouth, staring at them with awe. Mostly, the Library consisted of thousands and thousands of holodiscs of various shapes, colors and sizes, but her curious gaze found among them some strange bricks, supposedly made of thin wooden sheets, sewed together, and even stones, covered with letters of an alphabet unfamiliar to Eva. The pace of Seven-Seven was rather fast, and she almost had to run to stay beside him. They walked very near to the shelves and she could watch the colorful pattern formed by holodiscs' edges. The holodiscs were so bright and alluring she couldn't help but stretch her hand and take one of them from the lower shelf. It had an attractive shade of blue, her favorite color. She put the disc inside the big pocket of her tunic and immediately forgot about it: Seven-Seven had suddenly stopped, making her almost bumping into his leg. She threw him a questioning gaze, but he only lifted a finger towards his lips and shook his head. The corridor ended with a turning. Eva strained her ears and heard the distant sounds of footsteps, reverberating hollowly in the empty corridors. Whoever it was, they were approaching.

Seven-Seven froze to the spot, looking around in panic. There were no niches or turns to hide in, having all of them plain to see. The heavy steps sounded very near and its cause (or more probably, causes) could exit the turning and knock into them. Eva turned her head and suddenly noticed a small door between the shelves, almost blended into them. She squeezed the palm of Seven-Seven and pointed at the door. He nodded, seeming slightly relieved, and rushed towards it. _Let it be opened_.

The universe today had probably decided to be especially kind to the little prisoners. The door scraped and opened, revealing a room. However, it had probably been some storage room, since it was rather big in size but very small in height. Actually, only a child could fit in there.

When all the children managed to get into the room, tightly packed, it appeared that there was no space for Seven-Seven himself. He was tall and his armor occupied too much space.

He leaned forward to Eva, who stood near the entrance of the room and whispered in a haste, "I'll distract whoever is approaching and lead them away. We are on the lowest level of the Library: you must run towards the entrance to the technical tunnel. It is not far from here. There shouldn't be guards in this part of the building. Stay strong." He smiled to her warmly and turned to go away, but Eva grasped his hand in fear, "Seven-Seven, don't leave us!" But the steps were already near and he took his hand away softly, yet quickly, put on his helmet and shut the door of the room behind his back, not even allowing her to say a proper goodbye.

Eva put her ear to the door and heard the snatch of the conversation between the approaching Stormtroopers. There was probably two or three of them, since she heard the concerned deep voice of someone saying: "... unexpected death. He's never been ill before, you know, and he was dead in a minute." The other Trooper never got a chance to answer, since the falsely cheerful voice of Seven-Seven addressing them: "Hey, buddies, I'm waiting for you here for half a damn hour, why'dyou take so long?" The third voice sounded perplexed: "Sorry, pal, Captain didn't tell us that you'd be waiting." The voice of Seven-Seven answered, "Of course he didn't, he doesn't care about the ordinary folks like us." The fourth voice sighed and stated, "Why in the galaxy has he sent four soldiers to a room with no one except snotty kids? The old man must have lost his marbles." A burst of discordant laughter answered him, while the steps began to recede.

As the Stormtroopers walked away, Eva slightly opened the door, sneaking a look into the corridor. It seemed clear. She turned towards the other children. Dozens of eyes of different colors watched her, a silent question in their gaze. She nodded and slipped out of the room, a tail of small figures behind her back.

-x-

Rey heard the sound of the igniting blades and turned her gaze away from Ren. Six Knights of Ren surrounded them, each one of them holding a red lightsaber in their hand. In the blink of an eye, Ren pushed her behind his back. His saber jumped from the ground into his opened palm and ignited. One of the figures stepped ahead.

"Come an inch closer and I'll cut your throat, Rogo." The voice of Ren sounded hollow and dangerous. There was something strange in his voice, hinting that those two were not just associates. There was something more connecting them.

"Will you? Or you've become too soft and _weak_ , Kylo Ren, Master of the Knights of Ren?" The voice from behind the mask scoffed. "We have orders from Snoke, Kylo. We must find the holocron and bring it to Snoke. And if I recall well, the _girl_ must be brought to him too."

Rey felt Ren's back stiffened and he growled through his clenched teeth: "To Mustafar with Snoke."

Rogo made another step towards them. Rey awoke from the strange stupor she had been in for the past few moments, and a panicked thought flew through her mind. _They were not mere soldiers. They were the elusive Knights of Ren, and they were six blades against one_.

"The girl made you too soft. You had so many before... I don't understand what you found in that particular one." Rogo shrugged his shoulders and raised his saber, "We followed you for a long time because you were a strong leader. You called us brothers, we all shared the name of Ren and fought in many battles side by side. But you betrayed your brothers because some woman turned your brains. I think it's time for the Knights of Ren to obtain a new Master. We depose you. I'll kill you, take the girl to Snoke and the leadership is _mine_."

Rey heard a bitter chuckle from Ren. "We were friends, _Dom._ In the name of friendship we shared once, I suggest you not to come any closer."

Rey flinched in surprise at the word _friends_. She couldn't imagine gloomy Ren sharing a true friendship with anyone. But the time was not appropriate to ask who the man was and why Ren called him _Dom_ , instead of _Rogo_. She decided to concentrate on the upcoming problems. She felt drained and dizzy after dueling against Ren, but a fight seemed inevitable. She couldn't allow herself to stand and watch him fighting against six dangerous rivals. Rey stretched her hand and called her saber, hoping that her remaining strength would be enough at least to find it. The stars were on her side, for she heard the grass rustle. Her fingers curled around the familiar long handle. She ignited the blades and reeled from sudden weakness. Ren shot her a gaze over his shoulder and grumbled in a low voice: "Stupid girl, I said _stay behind my back_. What didn't you understand?" _They were in trouble, but at least his usual demeanor was back._ Now, they stood back to back, surrounded by six Force-sensitive rivals, tense and ready to attack.

"We were kids, _Ben_. Our friendship ended many years ago. Don't stir up the past: it looks miserable." Rogo made another step forward and, as if it was a signal, the six Knights of Ren attacked as one.

-x-

The Black Squadron flew towards the Library. It was already surrounded by the landing forces and armed citizens, assaulting the blocked entrances. Fierce fighting raged on the streets of Nallok'galor, city of historians and scientists. But the victory of the Resistance seemed close, because all the opposing armaments were forced out of action, being either burned, still landed, or shot down during the aerial fights

In fact, the garrison in the Library was encircled and its yielding was only a matter of time. Poe thanked Gial Ackbar in his thought: if the Admiral wasn't now flying somewhere out there, distracting the main forces of the First Order, the victory would not be so close. However, the Library still stayed in the grip of the enemy. His headphones came to life again.

"Dameron, it's Thian, captain of the landing forces. We have a big problem." The voice of Captain Thian sounded agitated even through the speakers.

"What happened, Captain?" Poe wondered what could make the old soldier so nervous.

"We have information that the Stormtroopers have an order to blow up the Library in case of the defeat."

"Loss of such a precious depository of information will be a disaster. But I think, that's not an unbearable price for freedom." Poe still didn't understand what scared Captain Thian. The war declared its own rules, and losing one building could not be compared with losing of the whole city.

"That's not about loss of information, Dameron. A huge part of citizen's children are locked in lower levels of the Library. If they blow up the library, they will all be dead."

-x-

A group of three dark figures groped their way through the narrow passage in the dim green light of the lightsaber.

"Looks like those walls block the Force. I thought that it was impossible, but the Ancient somehow managed to do it. Revan had a strange sense of humor by hiding the artifact in a place where the Force is blocked," sighed Luke.

Chewie, who was following him, roared something with a questioning intonation.

"I don't know, Chewie." Luke shrugged. "Maybe the thick walls of the temple are not considered part of the temple itself. That's why I managed to hold the stones above our heads long enough for us to slide inside. However, it took much more strength that it was supposed to take." He became concerned. "But I can't reach Rey and that worries me." Luke shook his head and stated, "Anyway, we can't do anything about it now. Ajo, why are we searching for the maps in the temple?"

"That's a rather long story. Ialia is inhabited by the offspring of the first group of Twi'lek interstellar voyagers, who decided to break the policy of isolation on Ryloth many centuries ago and rumbled around the galaxy, searching for knowledge. When the amount of manuscripts became too large, they decided to settle on Ialia, which already had an existing small human population, and built the town of Nallok'galor as well as the Nallok Library." The Head stopped and took a holodisc out of his pocket. It looked old, and the plastic and paint on the edges were cracked by the passage of time. He pressed the button and a plan of the temple's corridors appeared before their eyes, "We're here." Ajo's long finger pointed at one of the corridors not far from the entrance. "From the information I found, the hyperspace routes maps are stored somewhere there." He pointed at the room not far from the main entrance. "When the voyagers had just arrived, the temple was already there and its main entrance was not completely blocked. They used the rooms which were closest to the entrance as a temporary storage for the information collected during their journeys while the Library was not yet built. They managed to transfer most of the information to the new Library building later, but a huge landslide finally blocked the main entrance and a part of the information, including the maps, stayed inside the temple."

Luke looked on the map, which was lighting his face with its cold white glow, "Do you know who built this temple?"

Ajo shook his head, "As I said, it already was on Ialia. I never saw any information about it in the Library. We have incredible amounts of information here, including not only books, manuscripts, but also some archives of the Empire and the Old Republic."

Luke leaned towards the map and studied it closely. "We need to find the holocron of Revan. As the Force is blocked here, I can't sense it, so we can only be guided by common sense and simple logic." He encircled the sector of the temple with his finger, "This sector is far enough from the entrances. It can be reached from the main entrance almost directly. Let's search in those rooms. And then, we'll move to the main entrance to search for the maps."

The group, consisting of a Jedi, a Wookie and a Twi'lek continued their path through the dark corridors of the temple, the sound of their steps sounding foreign among the ancient walls, which hadn't seen a living soul for many centuries.

-x-

Rey lost count of how many blows she had managed to parry with her lightsaber. To her surprise, she had enough strength left at least to protect herself. But if Ren had not been on her side now, she would have been dead in first minutes of the battle.

She sensed the Dark Side of the Force boiling within him, and felt a slight disappointment. Of course, he was still standing the Dark Side, and she couldn't expect him to become a Light Side user all at once. She decided to come to terms with it for now. He now fought for both their lives and as long as it was effective, whatever side of the Force he used didn't matter.

Rey had never fought with Force users except for Ren himself and Luke, and fighting with Knights of Ren was completely different. It was not a fair combat, and all of her opponents could fight almost as well as Ren himself. Somehow, he managed to hold all of them at a distance, his red cracking lightsaber being everywhere at the same time. Rey confessed to herself that despite his rather young age, he was a great warrior and a master worthy to study under. His attacks were precise and almost every blow reached its aim. One of the Knights already clutched a deep bleeding wound on his shoulder.

She wondered what gave him strength and reached him with her will. She felt rage and determination within him. That determination, fueling him, was new to her, because it was not the determination to kill, which emanated from all the Knights of Ren, but a determination to _protect_. She also felt hatred but wasn't able to understand who Ren hated so strongly.

Suddenly, an agonizing cry shook the air and Rey threw away the Knight she was fighting with to turn and look at Ren. She saw the bolts of lightning, flowing from Ren's hands towards one of the Knights, who had already dropped his saber and now fell on his knees in agony. When the lightning stopped, the Knight fell down on the ground, dead. He turned towards another Knight and Rey recognized Rogo. Ren lifted his hand again and a bolt of lightning again flew from his fingers, but Rogo blocked it with his lightsaber.

"You are infected with the Light Side, Kylo. You can't even produce true Force Lightning," scoffed Rogo.

"I can kill you in a different way," growled Ren through the clenched teeth.

But Rey didn't hear the end of their conversation. Two Knights of Ren attacked her simultaneously. She parried their blows with two strikes of her saberstaff. She kicked one of the Knights in his knee and drew one of her blades through the chest of another. His limp body fell onto the ground and Rey saw dark dots dancing in front of her eyes. She was obviously fighting with her last bit of strength. _Ren, I won't last for much longer_. She pushed her thought through the bond and suddenly felt a flow of energy refreshing her. Not being able to turn her head towards him, she pushed another thought through their connection. _What is it?_

 _Revitalization._ Rey heard his abrupt answer. She lifted her brows in surprise: revitalization was a Light Side technique and it was the first time Ren used something from his Jedi past. But she had no time to reflect on the thought: they still had four rivals to fight with.

-x-

Eva pushed the heavy door of the supply dock with all the strength her little frame could manage, as the wind and rain whipped on her face. She stood at the entrance and watched a stream of children passing by her. They went out of the building and gathered together not far from the entrance. Dozens of questioning eyes studied her.

Something prevented her from crossing the threshold, but she couldn't understand what. Little Eva closed her eyes and sensed a luring melody, a song. It was not a sound in the common meaning of the word and it didn't reach her ears - she felt it with all of her tiny being. It called to her soul, which remained pure even after her first kill. The song guided her, and she couldn't resist its call.

She turned around and rushed back into the darkness of the tunnel.

-x-

Rey stood, panting, watching another body lying near her feet. She turned around and noticed that Ren had killed another two and now fought with only one left alive, Rogo. She moved towards the big rock, limping heavily, and leaned onto it with her back, her face twitching from the pain. Her last rival had managed to reach her and now her thigh was bleeding, although the blade of the lightsaber partially cauterized the wound. She slid down the flank and sat on the grass, clutching the wound, trying to stop the bleeding. She knew that Ren needed to finish the duel alone.

Rey watched two former friends pacing around an invisible circle, sabers ignited and both of them ready to attack. Ren hadn't come out of the battle safely either: the wrappings around his left arm were dangling in rags and revealing a deep long burn on his shoulder.

"Retreat, Rogo," she heard Ren's deep voice. "I don't want to kill you. The Knights are all dead, the leadership means nothing now."

"Never," Rogo's answer was abrupt and angry, "I'll never retreat. Even if there's no Knights of Ren now, you remain my obstacle to Snoke's tutelage. I'll bring him your head and your whore and he'll understand that I'm worth being his student more than you are."

"That's all about the tutelage? Come on, _Dom_ , you know that he was in my head from childhood. His tutelage almost cost me my sanity."

"You're a fool, Ren. He gave you incredible power, you owe him everything. He taught you and made you his right hand and what do you do now? Play with the Light Side again? We sacrificed so much for this power, for _your_ power and now, you lost all of it because of the scavenger girl. I would never have done that. Why did he choose you? Just because you're the _heir of Skywalker's legacy_? Your grandfather proved himself to be unworthy in the end and you repeated his path." Rogo seemed obviously enraged. "It must have been me in your place. My legacy is much more _worthy_ than yours."

.

"What are you talking about?" Rey understood that Ren was astonished with Rogo's declaration.

"Oh, c'mon, the Force brought us together for the reason." Rogo's tone sounded scoffing again. "Didn't you sense anything the moment we met, Ben Solo, _heir of Darth Vader_? Fate can be ironic sometimes. Our grandfathers were very close once, and yours served mine well." Rogo lifted his hands and took off his mask. Rey saw the face of a young man, around the same age Ren was. He had a sharp chin and a rather long nose, his brown hair brushed backwards. He threw his mask on the ground and clutched his lightsaber with both hands, smirking. "Sheev Palpatine was young once too, you know. Even before starting his training as a Sith, he had an affair with my grandmother. He never knew of it, and she raised the child alone. However, you know, _Ben_ , being raised without a father must have left a mark on my mother's mind, since she ended all alone with a child too. I never knew my father and my mother died while I was studying in the Jedi Academy under Skywalker. On her deathbed she revealed to me the truth about my origins. She was weak and ashamed of her father, but I am strong and I'll take what's mine by the birthright, even if I need to rip it out of your cold hands."

Rogo jumped forward and Ren parried his strong blow with his saber, and two childhood friends began their final battle under the gaze of two white moons of Ialia.

-x-

Eva ran along the long corridors of the Library, guided by the song. Thankfully, she hadn't met anyone, since the Stormtroopers had been probably recalled to protect the entrances on the upper levels. The song guided her towards one of the shut doors and Eva stretched her hand forward and pulled the handle. But the door seemed locked. She closed her eyes and concentrated on the melody inside her head. _What must she do?_ The melody wanted the door to open. Eva thought that if the melody wanted the door to be opened, she needed to want the same. She exhaled and sensed something flowing from the tips of her tiny fingers and heard the click of the lock. The door opened and she saw many children, sitting on the floor in silence, gazing at her. She beckoned them with a gesture of her hand. They approached the exit of the room cautiously and she guided them towards the exit. As she stood before the entrance of the tunnel and watched children disappearing in the darkness, she once again sensed the demanding song and sighed to herself. She had so many doors not opened yet.

-x-

The rivals seemed almost equal. They moved around the glade in perfect synchrony, each blow meeting another equal one. They almost danced, trying to reach each other, the Darkness emanating from both of them. Rey began to worry for Ren. He had been fighting for a long time now and the duel was dragging on. She exhaled and stretched her hand forward, intending to give him some of her energy.

 _Don't_. She heard his abrupt phrase through the bond. _I need to do it by myself_. She sighed and withdrew. He remained the Dark Side user, but he had his own code of honor.

Kylo Ren possessed the title of Master of the Knights of Ren for a reason: he finally he managed to knock the saber from Rogo's hand and fix him in a Force grip.

"Retreat, _Dom_. Retreat, and I'll show you mercy," Ren's voice sounded hollow, devoid of emotion.

"You won't kill me either way, _Ben_. You became too soft," growled Rogo through his clenched teeth.

"Retreat. I'm suggesting it for the last time in the name of our former friendship." Rey didn't sense neither his usual rage, or anger within him. He seemed only… sad, and Rey remembered the day he sat at the long table inside his quarters and suggested to her to leave the Finalizer.

" _Curse you_ , Kylo Ren," the tone of Rogo was determined.

Ren sighed. "So be it." The flow of his sadness through the bond became very strong.

He raised his saber and in one swift blow the dead body of last Knight of Ren fell onto the grass with a thud.

-x-

Poe Dameron landed his X-wing. He ran towards the figure of the Captain Thian, watching the attack on the library from the post.

"Captain!" He stopped near him, panting, "What is the situation?"

Captain Thian shook his head.

"No changes. We can't attack the building with all our forces, because if they decide that the defeat is inevitable, they'll blow it up. But-" He couldn't finish his sentence: the ground shuddered, and a loud bang tore the air apart.

They all turned towards the building and watched its walls collapsing, as if it was a slow motion holofilm.

"Looks like they already decided to do it." Poe's voice was full of pain.

Captain Thian answered nothing. He took off his hat, squeezing it in his fist and pressing it against his chest. They both stood in silence, watching the flames, devouring the remnants of the Library.

-x-

The crowd of children ran away under the rain from the machinery dock. Eva ran among them, feeling drained and exhausted again. She couldn't count yet, but she knew that she had opened _many_ doors. Now the song was mute and she sighed in relief. Suddenly the ground shuddered, followed by a loud bang and she stopped and turned towards the Library. The building slowly collapsed, like a house made of cards, and the wild flames illuminated the night sky.

The other children were frightened and rushed forward, crying. Eva stood facing the library, as if she was a small blue stone in a fast stream of crying children, running in the opposite direction.

 _Goodbye, Seven-Seven_. She felt incredible sadness filling her soul. Suddenly, she remembered the holodisc she managed to take out from the Library, which did not exist anymore. Eva took it out of her pocket and studied it. She must have pressed some button, for the figure of a woman holding a small girl by the hand appeared above the surface of the disc.

" _I am ready," said the woman._

 _The voice of the invisible announcer answered, "Okay, archive record number 5PO46872, sixteenth year after the Battle of the Endor. Name yourself."_

" _Alesa Bellax."_

" _What brought you to our planet?"_

" _We are refugees."_

" _Okay. What is the name of the girl?"_

 _The woman hesitated for a minute, as if she was uncertain about the name, but then answered, "...Rey. Her name is Rey."_

" _Does she have a surname?"_

" _..."_

But the record seemed to be damaged, because the picture became blurred and announcer's question was followed only by a croaky noise.

Eva carefully put the disc back into her pocket, threw a last look on the burning remnants of the Library and then turned around and went off at a smart pace somewhere in the dark depths of the Nallok'galor streets.

* * *

 _ **A/N Looks like the situation with posting became better. Dear Guest, who asked me if the story is over - no, it is not. Although we are near to the end of the first "story arc", because *spoilers* I'm not intended to break Rey and Ren so soon after therir reuniting, there is more plot (and smut) further. I haven't revealed Rey's origins yet! And we have the mysterious Jedi Temple. And now we have Alesa Bellax;)**_


	16. Chapter 16 - Freedom

**Chapter 16. Freedom**

Rey couldn't believe that this night's battle was finally over. But instead of relief, she felt a hollow emptiness inside of her soul. The fighting distracted her, forcing to concentrate on survival, but now, since there were no threats of any kind for now, she began to return to reality.

Ren was still standing over Rogo's body. She closed her eyes and spread her will, trying to reach Luke through the Force.

But the Force remained silent: she couldn't sense Luke anywhere, which probably meant that he was not alive anymore. She felt dumb, unable to beleive it, because it was the end of her world. She sensed the lifeless body of Finn, lying a few meters away, and suddenly, an understanding hit her mind, as if somebody threw a bucket of cold water on her head. _They all didn't exist anymore_. She now had to go on without Luke, Finn and Chewie. She lived without them during their training with Ren on the Finalizer, but it was completely different. During those days she knew that somewhere, star systems away from her, her friends breathed and fought. But now, Rey realized that she would never again see Luke's smile, or hear his calm voice, or laugh with Finn, or joke with Chewie while piloting the Millennium Falcon. She glanced towards Finn's body, unable to approach him and see him dead. She sat and buried her head in her arms. She remained apathetic, even unable to sob.

"Rey."

She opened her eyes and saw Ren kneeling before her. She studied him with a blank stare, feeling only a dull ache somewhere at the back of her soul.

"Rey, we need to go," his tone was soft, but persistent. She still gazed at him with the same blank stare. He sighed, gripped her shoulders and suddenly shook her rather roughly. She blinked and gazed at him with a somewhat more lively stare.

"Okay, Rey, listen to me." He tried to be soft, but he couldn't help but be abrupt "Now is not the right time to mourn for the dead. It is dangerous to stay here. So gather yourself, and tell me where the Millennium Falcon is. I know you arrived with it here."

She raised her face towards him, "But… the holocron…"

"To Malachor with the holocron," Ren uttered darkly. "To Malachor with the First Order, the Resistance, Snoke, politics, and especially, to Malachor with the knowledge of the Ancient. I lived without it for almost thirty years of my life and hopefully will live more if we manage to escape. We just need to fly away and stay alive, you understand? Now, be strong. I promise that when we reach the Falcon and get away from this damn planet, you can cry as much as you want and I'll even hold your hand and pat your back, but now, tell me one thing: where's the Falcon?"

She sighed, understanding that he was right. "It's on the northern side of this area."

"Good." His gaze fell on her damaged thigh, and he became concerned. "Can you walk?"

"Y..Yes." She stood up and immediately fell back again with a groan, "No."

He stood up and stretched his hand to her. She got up, finding balance on one leg. He suddenly leaned forward, threw her over his shoulder and straightened, holding her legs with his uninjured hand.

"No carrying bridal style this time with my injured arm," he stated with a light chuckle as he headed towards the narrow track leading to the Falcon.

-x-

"We're almost there, Master Skywalker." Ajo's voice sounded muffled by a piece of cloth. The amount of ancient dust was so great they all had to cover their mouths.

The narrow track suddenly ended. The group entered a hall with high ceilings and, surprisingly, the darkness, which surrounded them all their way through the temple, began to fade away thanks to the dim glow of red lights fixed in wall niches.

The hall was so enormous and imposing they all stopped and stared upwards with awe, mesmerized with by whatever genius had carved such majesty inside the mountain. Bas-reliefs met statues, staring at each other with enormous hollow eyes carved in rock. The statues represented neither humans, Twi'leks, or any familiar race Luke could recognize in the long and sharp lines of their faces, even if the figures were obviously humanoid. _Was is the Ancient race, which disappeared from the face of Ialia millenniums before the first human stepped onto its grassy surface?_ They walked along the hall while the lights ignited when they approached and died behind their backs. The ceiling was held up by columns, covered with carvings of millions of faces from the bottom to the top. Luke noticed that each face was different from all the rest. A sudden realization came to his mind.

"This is the hall of mourning for the dead. A place of burial." Even his whisper sounded foreign among those statues and faces, each of them being the evidence of a long-gone life. "Nobody on Ialia knows who lived here before first human came," Ajo whispered back. "This is the only temple left from the former greatness of those people. We never found any ruins on Ialia older than those of the first human colonizers. Maybe that's the answer: this planet was used as a sacred place - a planet for the dead. Taking into account that we don't know any race similar to this in our galaxy, it is possible that they came somewhere from the Unknown Regions. Or perhaps they do not exist anymore."

"This place is not for us. Let's move along," whispered Luke as they hastened their steps.

-x-

Silence followed the explosion which transformed the Library into ruins. Resistance soldiers and citizens stood around the remnants in utter shock. After a few seconds, as the dust cleared, the cries of pain of those who were too close to the Library's walls and were now wounded started to disturb the dead silence.

Suddenly, the piercing scream of a young woman broke into the air. She cried out the name of her child and rushed towards the burning remnants of the Library. And then, as if all the citizens woke up from a dreamless sleep and came to realize their loss, the crowd dashed to the ruins. People grasped the burning pieces with their bare hands, driven insane by their grief, calling out the names of their children, hoping to hear the familiar voices from below the remains of the building. But the ruins stayed quiet.

Poe and Captain Thian stood, watching the crowd assaulting the wreckage.

"That's not the price I was ready to pay for victory, Dameron." The captain's voice trembled with emotion. "I am an old wolf, but believe me, this is the ugliest war experience I've ever had."

Poe was about to answer, but felt a light touch from behind. He turned around, but there was no one. Then he looked downwards and saw a little human boy, tugging on his trousers.

"What are you doing here?" Poe finally managed to ask after a moment of astonishment. Captain Thian watched the boy with wide eyes, as if he saw a ghost.

"Are you a Resistance pilot?" enquired the boy in a very serious tone.

"Yes… Yes, I'm pilot." answered Poe, still gazing at the boy, dumbfounded.

"That means that you're very clever," said the boy confidently, "My mother always tells me that a pilot must be very clever."

"Where's your mother, little fella?" Poe knelt before the boy, afraid to touch him, as if he could disappear if he did so.

"I don't know," the boy looked at Poe helplessly, "I see all those people, but can't find her. They're all dirty and cry as if they lost something precious. I lost my favorite toy spaceship a month ago and I didn't cry like that, even if it was very precious to me." He pouted.

" _We_? You said _we_? Are you not alone?" Captain Thian sounded husky.

"Of course I'm not alone, there are many of us," the boy looked at the Captain with incredulity. "Over there," he added, pointing opposite from the Library. Poe turned and noticed dozens and dozens of children's faces, cautiously peeping out from behind the buildings and bushes surrounding the ruins. He felt tears of gratitude in his eyes. "We were frightened by the boom and ran away," continued the boy nonchalantly, "But we soon realized that we don't know how to go back home. So, we decided to return."

While the fighting in the first half of the night remained blurred in Poe Dameron's mind, the rest remained forever carved in his memories. He remembered running towards the children and hugging them tightly, kissing their dirty faces, and then rushing back towards the crowd as fast as he could. Somebody noticed him and recognized one of the children he was holding. Children ran towards their parents. Cries of desperation were changed with cries of happiness and parents were grabbing their children, as if they were afraid that they'd disappear once again.

The last thing Poe remembered from that night was the first light of dawn, from below the horizon, and the sense of absolute happiness filling his soul.

The night was over, and morning came to Ialia, bringing freedom to its inhabitants and victory to the Resistance.

-x-

Ren carefully put her down into the co-pilot's chair of the Millennium Falcon and she screwed up her face, massaging her abdomen. Being transported over Ren's shoulder felt not only embarrassing, but also rather painful. He had a wide pace and she felt each of his steps with her stomach. She untied the fastenings of her crimson cloak and took it off. They both were soaked wet from the rain, which poured outside.

Ren took off his cloak and belt, sat into the main pilot's chair and his fingers began to fly over the control panel rather confidently. He fitted in there very well, although that seemed impossible, taking into account his black attire and lightsaber, which he casually laid onto the panel. He even began to hum some melody under his nose and she blinked and for the moment saw the young Han Solo, humming the same melody while adjusting the coordinates, and a little boy, staring on the dozens of buttons and tumblers with awe from his father's laps. But the moment passed and she noticed his persistent gaze and bit her lip. _Of course. Co-pilot_.

He inserted some coordinates into the main computer and she didn't even pay attention to them. _It made no difference where they ran._ The Millennium Falcon slowly ascended from its hiding place and jumped into hyperspace.

He sighed, seeming relieved, and tipped back, locking hands behind his nape. She looked at him and didn't know what to feel towards this young man. _Who were they to each other?_ _Were they still enemies? Were they a teacher and his pupil? Were they friends? Or lovers?_ The awkward silence stretched and she decided to set the record straight.

"Look, what I told you there…"

"No need to explain, Rey, I know you didn't mean what you said. You were frightened, ready to die, people say different things in such situations. I understand, that was the power of the moment," his voice sounded calm, and he looked at her with his dark eyes, "Let's pretend I forgot it. But I hope," his eyes shone with emotion and became calm again, "When the time comes I'll hear those words from you when you're really ready to say them."

She suddenly felt a strange lump in her throat and opened her lips to say something, but immediately forgot it as a sudden throb of pain shot through her leg. She groaned and saw that bleeding from the deep wound, which had seemed to stop, resumed.

"Your wound is not good. I'll go search for the medkit," grumbled Ren and stood up from his chair. The autopilot was controlling the Falcon, so they could move freely. She heard him rummaging somewhere in the depth of the ship, cursing in a low voice and soon he returned, seeming annoyed.

"I knew that the Resistance was poor, but an empty medkit on a military ship is beyond reason," he stated huffily. She shrugged her shoulders, "So, I'll put up with the wound." He shook his head, "No, the wound is too deep and we need you to have both legs. Besides that, if not cured, it will leave an ugly scar on your leg." Seeing him being concerned about the scars on her body was surprising and she blushed at the thought of his reasons for it.

"Take off your trousers."

His suggestion caught her completely off-balance. She looked at him with a mix of surprize and misunderstanding in her eyes. He sighed and explained, "I'll try to cure you with the Force. I haven't done it for a long period of time, so, the better access I have, the higher is the probability of success."

She kicked her boots away and now struggled with the lock of her trousers. Her cheeks suddenly felt hot. He must have felt her embarrassment because he rolled his eyes and stated rather bluntly, "I've already seen you completely naked, no need to be shy." He helped her to take off the trousers, and knelt before her, bending over her injured leg. He studied the wound carefully and then closed his eyes, took off his gloves and gently laid his hand onto it. His palm was warm and she closed her eyes too, hearing him exhaling and then beginning to breathe evenly. She felt the warmth becoming more intense and sneaked a gaze onto her wound. It was slowly healing under his slightly glowing palm. She cautiously studied his face and thought to herself with a slight regret, that if she had known that they would become so close to each other she never have given him the scar crossing his handsome face.

"Your thoughts are too loud, stop distracting me," she heard him mumbling, "I prefer not to heal the wounds but to inflict them, so you can hardly call me an experienced healer."

But he was too hard on himself because when he lifted his palm, the wound was completely healed, without even a scar. Ren lifted his face to her and she noticed a triumphant boyish sparkle in his eyes.

"What you do to me, my apprentice! I have used the Light Side of the Force already twice this night, which is two times more than during past ten years." His voice sounded mocking but then suddenly became hoarse. He still knelt before her and his eyes moved from her eyes to her lips and she noticed him gulping and caught a trace of his thoughts through the bond. The thoughts were nowhere near chaste.

She leaned towards him a little bit almost unconsciously, unable to resist the attraction. The night on the Ialia took almost all her friends from her, but brought Ren back to her. Something had changed in him from the day they first met and she felt that. She could not return her friends from dead but she felt the true self of Ren slowly returning from somewhere far away, where it was hidden for many years. It was not the returning of Ben Solo in its literal meaning, but she felt him slowly, step by step accepting his inner Light.

"Ren…" she started the phrase but noticed his smirk. He shook his head, and said with doubt, "I think, I can't use this name anymore. All knights of Ren lie dead from my own hand and I think the name of Kylo Ren has already become history."

"How must I call you then?" she whispered, searching for the answer inside of his brown eyes.

He softly chuckled and slowly ascended, bringing his face very close to hers. They looked eye to eye and the side of his lips curled in a half-smile.

"I think _Ben_ will do for now," he murmured back and she closed her eyes, feeling his kiss on her lips.

-x-

Three figures passed the hall and entered another dark corridor. However, it seemed to be an extension of the hall, because the walls were covered with the same calm faces. Chewbacca roared in a low voice and Luke answered to him, "Yes, Chewie, I feel out of place too."

They passed the corridor and entered another hall, which differed from the previous one both with its size and, presumably, purpose. The hall itself was empty, except for a stony table in the middle with a square socket in its center, covered with letters in unfamiliar language. The walls of the hall resembled a honeycomb with thousands of niches carved in the rock. Each small niche contained a pyramid with a squared bottom, glowing with cold white light.

"It must be the information repository," whispered Ajo. Luke turned towards him and noticed his glowing gaze. He looked like a kid in a toy store. Luke remembered that all the Twi'lek Ialians derived from the group of investigators, who left their birth planet and flew away towards the stars, searching for new knowledge. The same thirst for the knowledge now glowed in Twi'lek's eyes. Ajo had been silent and sad almost all the time they spent inside of the temple, but now he even seemed to forget for a moment about the fate of his daughter, who lay on the grass outside, most probably dead. He stared at the walls with awe. Luke approached him and softly patted his shoulder, "Ajo, this knowledge is not for our curious eyes. Let the dead stay in peace." Ajo sighed and reversed his gaze from the niches with obvious reluctance.

Chewie roared in a low voice and Luke turned towards him, "What? A cube?" Chewie stretched his hand and pointed at one of the niches. He was right, one of the niches at the level of human height contained a cube instead of the pyramid. It almost blended among them, glowing with the same white light. Luke approached it and brushed the dust from its surface. When his hand touched the cube his white glow suddenly changed to red, than to blue, and then became white again. On the surface of holocron there was an engraved letter 'R' in the basic language.

"Looks like we found what we came for," murmured Luke and cautiously took the holocron from the niche. His gaze fell onto the table in the center. The square socket in the center coincided both with the size of the pyramid bottom and with the size of the cube's faces. Led by a strange impulse he inserted the cube in the flashed with blue light and opened, levitating into the air above the socket. But the figure which appeared above the holocron was red. Luke recognised the figure from the vision with a mask, covering its face. The man began to talk with a deep voice.

 _The ones, who serve the Light, and the ones, who worship the Darkness, listen to my prophesy._

 _I see the day when two greatest Masters will both lose their apprentices and the day when the Force blesses them both with new ones to fulfill their destiny._

 _I see the balance in the Force, brought by those who paid the bloody price, beholding both the supreme harmony of Light and the depths of absolute Darkness._

 _But the duel between the Light and the Darkness will never end and I see that when the time comes, the balance will be disturbed again._

 _I see the legacy, beleived to be dead, rising to greatness and the Force giving its blessing to the soul, longing for a child._

 _And then the circle of destiny will be closed._

The figure of Revan disappeared and the holocron closed, falling on the table. The trio stood around it in silence, thinking about the prophesy they just heard. Luke broke the silence, grasping the holocron from the table, "Well, a prophesy. Better than nothing, but worse than the knowledge of the Force, which can be used in war. Leia wouldn't be happy to see it, but that's what we got. Come, Chewie, Ajo, it's time to find the maps and think, how we'd get out of this place."

-x-

Ben deepened the kiss and Rey felt his hot palm on the same place her wound used to be minutes ago. He began to stroke her thigh, ascending higher with each stroke. She melted from the sensation of his slightly calloused palms on her body. Even after they shared a bed once, even after fighting with him and then _for_ him today, it was very strange for her to think of him as a person, a man, breathing, living and warm, about _making love to him_. Ben's lips were gentle at first and then became more demanding and Rey again began to catch part of his thoughts which made her blush.

It was a blissful distraction from her thoughts of Luke, Finn and Chewie. His tongue met hers and everything and everyone was forgotten. They stayed together in a soap bubble and their world was fragile, but it existed this very moment. She remembered the words of Maz Kanata the day they met on Takodana and understood that the belonging she craved, was finally obtained. The pose began to feel uncomfortable, so he just stood up and lifted her from the chair. She yelped, twining her legs around his waist, trying not to fall down or touch his injured arm. He never asked her permission to kiss her or caress her, or questioned her if she wanted to make love to him - he simply took what he considered his and she was grateful for that, because the words would have ruined everything. He supported her with his healthy hand under her butt while carrying her to quarters, as if he'd done it many times before and she remembered the words of Rogo about 'so many ones before', but brushed the thought away immediately. The past stayed in the past and the present belonged to the two of them.

He lowered himself onto the couch in crew quarters and she straddled him, this time kissing him hungrily and shamelessly. But soon he tore himself from her lips, although with reluctance, and then kissed her throat and collarbone, his hands sliding under her tunic, not being held with the belt anymore. He stroked her back under the material and she shivered from the warmth of his hands, sliding down her spine. She arched with a moan, giving him better access, but when he took his hands from under her tunic and started to fumble with the zippers, she withdrew and shook her head. Ben gazed at her with a mix of surprize, annoyance and even anger in his eyes, but she smiled and studied him, being fully dressed and then said, "This time you first." He groaned impatiently and shot her an angry gaze, but took off upper part of his attire over his head in haste, leaving only trousers and arm protection, which was fixed with a belt across his bare chest. He again slipped his hands under her tunic, but her gaze fell onto his wound and she couldn't stay silent, "Aren't you in pain?" The burn on his hand seemed to be deep. But he shook his head stubbornly and reached out to kiss her, pulling her towards himself with both hands, but she covered his lips with her palm, "Maybe… I can try to heal you as you healed me?" But he shook his head again, taking off her palm and kissing her wrist and then reaching out for her lips, murmuring, "Later. And now, let me kiss you, if you don't want to see my dark side."

Rey didn't notice when he managed to open the zipper on the front of her tunic and gasped when he pulled her to his naked chest closely, ravishing her lips again, at the same time undoing her buns and running his fingers through her hair. The sensation of naked skin on skin felt incredible and she arched back, feeling him peppering the kisses on her neck and throat and then lower, supporting her back with one hand. Rey felt as he withdrew and lightly slid his knuckles along her throat and then along her breast. The sensation of this light touch brought another shiver down her spine. He stroked the sensitive skin of her breasts with tips of his fingers, each touch as light as a feather, but the places he touched immediately felt hot.

She ran her fingers into his hair at the nape and lifted herself. Now they were sitting with their foreheads touching and she sensed his hardness and his intent to lay her down onto the couch and ravish her in the most primal manner was almost palpable, but she pinned him to the back of the couch with both of her hands. Ben again looked her with his half-puzzled half-angry gaze and she whispered into his ear, "Not yet, impatient one. Let me do something for you."

Rey kissed the place under his ear and then softly bit the skin. He gasped and she kissed his throat several times with hunger and watched love bruises forming from her kisses. It brought her a sense of strange satisfaction and arousal, as if she claimed him and possessed him as he possessed her at their first night. She slid down from his knees, kneeling before him, and saw the fire dancing in his eyes, when he understood, what she was intended to do. He watched her fumbling with the zipper of his trousers for a few minutes and then he was lost.

This was very intimate, even more intimate than making love. His dominant self was gone and he was all in her power. Her skills were not perfect, but that didn't matter, because when he felt her lips on the tip of his member, the world shattered and broke into millions of sparkles. He would do anything she asked from him this very moment. If she told him to promise to use only the Light Side from now on, he'd have given his word without second thought, only to make her continue the sweet torture.

Rey heard him exhaling through his clenched teeth and felt his long fingers in her hair again. He directed her, helping her to please him, and when she sneaked a gaze on him, she saw that he was tipped back, eyes closed and breathing heavily, his face twitched in the grimace of torturous pleasure. _Oh, he was entirely at her mercy this moment and she held the power over him_.

But suddenly he opened his eyes and leaned forward, making her stop what she was doing. She groaned, unsatisfied, wanting make him reach his climax like that, but he urged her to stand up. She noticed that his hands were slightly shaking and an ocean of desire swirled inside his eyes.

"What…" She tried to protest but he silenced her, pressing the tip of his finger to her lips. Ben grasped her shoulders and turned her away from him hastily, lightly pushed her onto the couch, so she landed on her knees, leaning onto the wall. He almost ripped her last piece of cloth from her, knelt onto the couch, parting her thighs with his knee and then thrusted into her from behind at once, so she almost yelped in surprise. His thrusts were deep and strong from the beginning, nowhere near gentle, and he grasped her hair and pulled softly, yet firm, urging her body to arch even more. Now it was her face twitching from the torturous pleasure and she moaned shamelessly, succumbing to him. There was nothing humiliating or abusive in all this, they just turned the tables, both gaining the pleasure from fulfilling their roles. His hips moved evenly, each thrust bringing a slapping sound, and he leaned forward, kissing her neck and shoulders intensively, leaving the marks of love. He turned her face towards him to kiss her, his hand still in her hair and the other hand lying possessively on her throat. She answered to his kiss passionately and then bit his lower lip rather strong, feeling the iron taste of the blood that appeared on his lips. He gasped and his hand slid over her breast and abdomen to the place between her parted thighs, searching for revenge.

She cried out, because he made her balance at the edge of her release, yet not giving it to her. His fingers teased and stroked and teased again and she suspected him of spying through the bond to make the torture last longer.

"Say it again. Say what I want to hear and I'll give you what you want," his tone sounded mocking. But she didn't want to succumb to him completely and please his possessive nature.

"No."

"You already know that the lie turned the truth, why not to admit it aloud?" The name of Kylo Ren may have been of no use anymore, but the man behind the name stayed the same. She felt his hot breath on her neck and hesitated for a moment, but decided not to surrender.

"No."

"Okay, then." She felt his hand moving away from her sensitive place and thrusts becoming slower. She almost cried out in disappointment, because now her body begged for the release and both of his hands now were teasing her nipples, holding her at the edge of it. Finally, she yielded, selling herself the idea that words, said in the heat of the making love, could not be considered serious after.

"Okay, I belong to you, you possessive pervert," she mumbled in a low voice and sensed his hand sliding back and thrusts becoming faster, although not enough.

"I don't hear you, sweetheart, what did you say?" he obviously enjoyed the power he held over her body.

The throbbing between her thighs became unbearable, almost painful. She felt tears forming in her eyes and cried out aloud, surrendering completely, "I am yours, Ben, just please…Please..."

His thrusts became fast and strong again and finally she bursted in uncontrolled release, crying out his name, clenching around him wildly. The sweet torture must have brought him to his edge too, because she heard him growling in a low voice, "My Rey..." and then heard him groaning aloud and burying himself within her in his own release. She felt as he laid his forehead on the bottom of her neck, panting, his hair slightly tickling her skin.

Soon he withdrew softly turned her to face him, sliding down onto the couch, lugging her away with him. Suddenly he noticed the traces of tears on her face and his gaze became guilty and concerned.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, my girl, I shouldn't... did I hurt you? Was I too rough with you? I am an insensitive animal." She felt waves if shame and guilt emanating from him. He kissed her tears from her cheeks with tenderness, looking so ashamed and agitated with her tears, that she chuckled at his sudden change of demeanor.

"No, you are not," she murmured back.

"Than what's the matter?" He looked puzzled.

"Nothing, Ben," she smiled, "Just hold me close and don't leave me or push me away again."

"Never."

"Than kiss me."

And he did. The Millennium Falcon flew in hyperspace away from Ialia, carrying on the board the small fragile world of two people, who were finally free.

* * *

 _ **A/N How I missed writing THAT type of scenes**_


	17. Chapter 17 - Nightingale's Song

**Chapter 17. Nightingale's Song**

They were still lying on a couch together, legs entwined, her head on his shoulder and his fingers playing lazily with her locks. The room was silent and only the monotone grumbling of engines disturbed it. It felt… cozy. Lying like that together, relishing the warmth of each other's bodies. Rey began to fall into slumber, but suddenly Ben began to speak in a low voice.

"When I was a little boy, we travelled with Leia to Naboo." Rey noticed that he called Leia by name, not 'mother', "She had some diplomacy mission, as usual, and decided to take me with her. In fact, travelling with her didn't differ from her departures when she left me at home - I always stayed alone in some big house, watched by droids. But that particular journey was different, because my room had a balcony and soon I learnt to get over the balustrade. Luckily, they gave her a house far from the center of the city, and it was surrounded by greenery and waterfalls," he paused and she kept silent too, not knowing why he was telling her of his childhood, "One night I sneaked to the balcony and ran away to the woods and fields. I felt freedom instead of loneliness, and could use the Force without restraints. You know, Rey, when the Force is in you from the childhood, you can't supress it. You feel like a bubble ready to burst and soon the toys began to fly around you and when you're annoyed by the droid it crushes against the wall, even if you didn't want it and sit afterwards, crying, clumsily trying to fix it. This night was my relief. I even didn't need a lantern." He lifted his palm and Rey saw millions of fireflies, appearing above it, glowing with a soft yellow light. She imagined a little dark-haired boy, surrounded by the fireflies, running through the dark woods all alone, and her heart clenched in compassion. He chuckled softly, feeling her thoughts, and stroked her shoulder, "Do not pity me, I was happy in that moment. I felt free and the night enveloped me and accepted me, reassuring me that I didn't need anyone. That was my place. Even the voice, which I had in my head from the day I remember myself, kept silent. I liked the darkness of the woods, but soon it felt mute and empty and the loneliness returned and I realized that I was standing in the middle of the dark forest, all alone, not knowing where to go. But at that moment I heard the beautiful song of a bird and was mesmerized. All birds slept at night but this particular one didn't. Its voice was pure and strong and it routed the darkness around me, as if it summoned the light, the morning. It stood within the darkness but always worshiped the light. And when I heard this song it made me feel not so lonely in the darkness and I went towards the voice and returned safely to the house. I saw my mother searching for me." She looked at him, surprised to hear the word 'mother' from his lips, but his gaze was distant, "She ran towards me, her face tearstained, and I noticed, that she wore only her nightgown and her hair was loose, rid of that complicated updos and finery I hated so much, because they always meant that she's busy. She embraced me and peppered my face with kisses, as if something bad had happenned. I didn't understand those days what she felt, when they found my bed empty that night. I didn't understand, why she was crying, because I stood before her, safe and whole, surrounded by my fireflies. We spent the rest of the night together in her room. My father moped around the galaxy, as usual," Rey felt a note of temper in his voice, "So we lay together and talked about different things. I asked her about the bird and she explained that it was a nightingale. It always sings in the night for the morning to come." Suddenly he turned his face towards her and looked directly in her eyes, "You're my nightingale, Rey. Even being star systems away from you I hear your song through the Force, and I can't resist your call. I'm again the boy in the woods, trying to run away into the darkness but I always hear the splendid song, which doesn't allow me to dissolve in it completely. You're my Light and I feel whole when I'm with you, my girl."

It was not a confession of love, but it felt almost like one. Rey leaned forward and kissed him with tenderness, softly touching his chin with the tips of her fingers, knowing that it was his rare moment of softness when he shyly opened his soul to her. She smiled to herself, thinking that probably nobody and never saw that side of him, except her.

She must have turned wrongly, because when she withdrew he hissed from pain and moved his injured arm.

"Let me heal you, Ben. Teach me how to help you," she raised herself upon an elbow, trying not to touch his wound again.

"I can do it myself later," he grumbled in answer. "I'm not a good teacher in the Light Side of the Force." She flinched, because a sudden thought of Luke came to her mind. Making love was a good distraction, but grief didn't vanish, it just hid somewhere at the back of her mind and now was coming back. Ben must have sensed her change in mood, because he sighed and got off the couch, grasping his trousers. She watched him dressing in silence, thinking about the thin scars, covering his body. There were so many of them that she wondered how he had got them, being hardly ten years older than herself. He sat back onto the couch, still barechested, and she moved closer, wrapping her nakedness into the thin blanket Ben obtained earlier to cover their heated bodies. He unbuckled the belt of his armprotection, crossing his chest and began to put it off, hissing when the material slided over the wound.

"Let me," she tried to reach him, but he shook his head, grumbling, "I don't need a nanny, Rey." _Okay, old familiar grumpy Ren was back_. Finally, he took off the protection and now sat with his back to her.

"Lay your hand on the wound," his tone was strict and she understood that the lover was gone and the teacher was back. She cautiously laid her palm on his wound. He continued, "Close your eyes and find your inner peace. There's no passion, there is serenity." It was so strange to hear the words of old Jedi Code from him. She exhaled and closed her eyes, listening to his calm low voice, "Channel the Force to the wound. You need to imagine its healing and believe that your fingers are the channels of the life energy." Rey tried to follow his orders, but when she sneaked a look at her palm, it was not glowing as Ren's was when he healed her wound. But he didn't scoff at her as he used to do. His voice, remaining calm, reminded her again of Luke. "You need to do it in a different way than you channel it for the fight. Gather the force in your palm, don't release it immediately. Healing with the Force is not similar to Force push or Force grip." She tried again and felt a warmth gathering in her palm and fingers. Rey looked at the wound. It was healing very slowly, much slower than her wound healed under Ren's palm. The wound was only half-healed when she felt dizziness and lost concentration.

"Force healing is one of the most complicated techniques of the Light Side and you're exhausted. You can't do it properly, I'll finish it myself," his words sounded rather abrupt. He was again inside of his shell and she felt hurt. He must have understood that his tone was too rough, because he stood up and softly lifted her chin with tips of his fingers, looking at her face from his height. He leaned forward and bestowed a chaste kiss on her forehead, speaking in a much softer voice, "You need to rest, the revitalization I used in the battle doesn't last long. Now sleep, I'll go check the computers." She nodded and he stood up and exited the room. She followed him with her eyes. There he was, a controversial, unpredictable man, one minute a passionate lover, second minute a strict teacher, one moment dominant, next minute gentle. Still thinking of Ben, she closed her eyes and fell into a deep sleep without dreams.

-x-

Little Eva sat on the steps of her home in silence, clutching something in her tiny hand. She watched parents with their children on the street, hurrying to their houses, and felt completely empty inside. She heard footsteps and raised her gaze, watching her neighbour, Kaira, approaching her.

"I am so sorry for your mother, Eva," Kaira's voice sounded sincere and full of compassion and her lekku made a gesture, expressing the grief. "I was near, when she… died. That was an accident, a soldier thought that she wanted to protest and shot her down. It was a terrible mistake."

Eva lowered her gaze and opened her palm, studying the tiny pendant lying on it. All that was left of her Mommy. She raised her eyes to Kaira and she flinched, because the eyes of the little girl were dry.

"What is death, aunt Kaira? What does it mean - to die?" She asked seriously and Kaira thought, that the pain in her orange eyes was too much for a child. "I heard the soldiers saying, that Six-Two died of a weak heart. I know that Seven-Seven is dead, because the Library collapsed. Now my Mommy is dead. But I don't understand… What does it mean, _to die_? Does she lie in the street like that woman?"

Kaira didn't understand the what the girl meant by her words, but she knew that Eva was all alone now. Her mother raised her by herself, without a husband and now the girl had no relatives. Kaira hugged Eva and stroked her back reassuringly.

"Come and live with us, Eva. I can't promise that I'll become a mother for you, but me and my husband watched you growing up, so we love you as our own daughter. Besides that," Kaira withdrew and tried to smile reassuringly, "You and my daughter, Lo, are almost of the same age and have a good friendship. We will care for you. What do you think, Eva?"

The eyes of the girl stayed dry and that worried Kaira. Little girls weren't supposed to have such dry eyes when learning of their mother's death. She was surprized even more, when Eva shook her head, declining her suggestion. The girl must have sensed her surprise, because she tapped her forehead with her finger and explained, "The song, it doesn't want me to come with you. It tells me that my belonging lays not here."

Kaira's face twitched in sorrow. The news about the death of her mother must have disturbed the girl's sanity. _Poor child_.

Suddenly Eva sprang onto her short feet and ran out to the street.

"Eva! Where are you going?" Kaira cried out, wanting to stop Eva, but the girl was too fast. However, she stopped beside the nearest house and turned her head to Kaira.

"The song… It is calling me," Eva said and Kaira stopped in hesitation, not knowing if she'd manage to catch the girl before she ran away. Eva didn't move either, seeming to listen to 'the song' inside of her mind, but soon she shook her head and Kaira again heard her thin trembling voice.

"Aunt Kaira, was she in pain? My mother. Did she suffer?"

It felt as if Eva had suddenly become several years older. She didn't call her mother 'mommy' as she used to do previously. Kaira shook her head and answered, "No, Eva, everything occured fast. I don't think that she suffered."

The girl stood in silence for a few moments and then suddenly smiled to the woman and nodded. Kaira thought that it felt like a farewell. Than Eva turned away and ran into the labyrinth of Nallok'galor streets without a backward glance, heading towards the mountain, guided by the mysterious melody inside of her head.

-x-

"Okay, Chewie, let's hope that the First Order succeeded in their mining and the amount of stones in front of us is not as big as at the additional entrance," said Luke, studying the heap, "What do you think, Ajo?"

"To the day of your arrival the minings were almost complete, Master Luke," answered Ajo.

"Than we have a chance," Luke smiled, "Now, I'll try to push the stones with the Force and we'll hope that it will work as it worked at the other entrance. Chewie and Ajo, you push with your hands."

The trio approached the heap and began to push it. They struggled for almost a half an hour when, finally, the wall was crushed and they went out of the temple, panting and soaking wet from their efforts.

They walked towards the glade of their battle in silence and with heavy hearts. Luke knew that Nola and Finn were most probably dead for many hours and that made his heart squeeze. He didn't know anything about Rey and brief searching through the Force didn't have any success, which meant that either she left the planet or… He brushed the thought away from his mind.

Ajo stopped before the entrance to the glade, unable to make another step, as if it would have transformed his thoughts into reality. Luke approached him from behind and laid the hand on his shoulder in silence, because there existed no words to help the man, who lost first his dear wife and then his beloved daughter. Ajo inhaled and entered the glade.

It was a surrealistic picture. The ground was covered with stormtroopers' bodies and because of their white armor it appeared as if the green grass was covered with snow. A little blue-skinned Twi'lek girl stood among the bodies with her back to them. _What was a child doing at the battlefield?_ Luke felt a shiver coming down his spine, because she looked like a little angel of death. They stopped at a distance from her and heard her whisper, "All dead, except one". She turned her head, watching them with a pair of enormous orange eyes, her pupils so wide that they filled almost all the irises. Her gaze was distant and empty. Then spoke in a tiny voice, "An old man with sad blue eyes, don't search for the Ocean on Ialia, your destinies don't lie together anymore."

"Who are you? What are you doing here?" asked Luke and felt something as the holocron became heavier in his pocket. The prophesy was beginning to fulfil itself - one of the teachers lost his apprentice. The girl looked at him, her gaze childish again, and answered, "I am Evak'neja, but everybody calls me Eva. The Song guided me here and told me to deliver a message for the man with sad blue eyes." Luke closed his eyes and reached the girl with his will. He sensed the Force within her immediately. Revan was right, he lost Rey and she began her own way through the Force and now a new youngling stood before him. The Force guided her to him in the form of the song inside girl's head and he needed to submit to its will. Ajo silently left them and headed towards the body of his daughter, kneeling before it. He lifted her body and pressed Nola's head to his chest, crying soundlessly, like strong men do, and began to speak in an unfamiliar language, parallel with gestures of his lekku. Luke noticed the little girl doing the same, whispering the words simultaneously with the Head. When they finished the girl turned towards Luke again and answered, as if he questioned her, "It is Ryl, the native language of Twi'lek. We speak the common language in our daily life, but say farewell to those who left us in our language."

"Have you lost somebody?" asked Luke, surprized by the flow of Eva's speech, unusual for a child of her age. She nodded and answered, "My mother." She stretched her hand and took Luke's palm as if they were familiar for a long time and pulled it, "Come, there's one alive among the dead."

Eva released his hand and ran towards the body of Finn and knelt beside him. Luke and Chewie quickly followed her and Luke knelt too, palpating Finn's pulse, reaching him with the Force. He sensed a weak beat both under his fingers and through the Force. _Thanks, stars, the boy was alive_.

"Chewie, quickly, we must take him to the hospital." Luke turned towards Ajo and saw him ascending with the body of his daughter in his arms. Luke felt a tiny hand slipping into his palm, and remembered the prophecy again.

The procession headed towards the city, wrapped in smoke. Suddenly, Ajo stopped and asked in a croaky voice, "Where is… the Library?"

"We have no Library now, Head Ajo," Luke heard the voice of Eva.

"And what about the children?" Twi'lek stared at Eva as if he just realized, that a child supposed to be dead stood before him.

"A song in my head guided them away. It said that it was not the time," the girl's voice was calm.

Ajo seemed shocked by the fact that Nallok Library didn't exist anymore, but the news about children brought him relief. They continued their path through the glade and suddenly Eva stumbled against something. Luke looked downwards and saw the body of Bert, looking to the sky with its glassy eyes. The traitor didn't survive the night's battle.

They all stepped over Bert's body, and headed towards the smoke of the town, hoping to help those who were still alive.

-x-

The Nallok Hospital was overcrowded. People and Twi'lek lay and sat in the corridors, while nurses, doctors and medical droids fluttered among the injured, bandaging and stitching the wounds right there. But, despite that, the atmosphere was cheerful and even wounded people smiled and hugged each other, celebrating the victory of the Resistance and the newfound freedom. The tall frame of Chewie, carrying Finn, hovered over the crowd.

Luke caught a frazzled doctor in a white uniform and she fetched a medical droid. Chewie laid Finn onto the surgical table and both doctor and droid leaned over their unconscious friend. Finally, the doctor withdrew and smiled tiredly to them, brushing away a ginger lock fallen out from the bun on her nape, "He lost a lot of blood and his injury is rather serious, but he must have been born fortunate. No vital organs or arteries were damaged, if the one, who shot him was a better gunner, the shot would have hit him right in his heart. Now, I'll do him a blood transfusion and, hopefully, he'll return to consciousness within two hours."

"Thank you, doctor," Luke said softly. She nodded and went somewhere into the depths of the hospital to return with two packets of blood.

Two hours passed and they all waited for Finn to come back from the dead. Luke sat beside his bed when, all of sudden, Finn opened his eyes and tried to spring to his feet with a cry, "Rey,NO!" But he was enlaced by tubes and sedated, so he tipped back with a groan, unable to stand up. He noticed Luke and Chewie beside his bed and asked in a weak voice, "Where am I? Where is Rey?"

"We are in the Nallok hospital, Finn, you got shot by a blaster," Luke answered, trying to sound calm and soothing, "As to Rey - I don't know, where she is."

Finn lay on the bed, staring to the white ceiling, and mumbled, "She is with him. She is with Kylo Ren, dammit."

"What have you seen? Tell us," Luke needed to restore a picture of the battle after the landslide which blocked them inside the temple.

Finn sighed and answered, "I don't remember much. I remember now that I was shot and from that moment I regained consciousness only two times. First time I remember a blurred vision of Ren with some guys, dressed in black, supposedly his Knights. Rey and Ren were fighting and I blacked out again. Then," he shuddered, "I remember a surrealistic picture. They stood… And he kissed her and she didn't seem to protest. Tell me, Luke," his tone became pleading and he seemed hurt, "Please tell me, that it was a trick of my flickering consciousness."

Luke sighed and shook his head with regret, "No, Finn, I am afraid it was not. I am sorry, I don't know much, but they had something between them on the Finalizer," Luke decided that Finn deserved to know the truth.

"Oh," Finn stared into the ceiling again, "Oh, I understand now," he turned his face towards Luke and stated with the note of hatred and jealousy in his voice, "You know, I opened my heart to her before we reached this planet and she told me, that she doesn't want any relationship now. But now I see that she lied to me, because she… because she… Oh, I don't know even how to name it. She prefered our enemy to us and now she is flying somewhere out in space with him."

"Don't blame her, things are not divided into just black and white," Luke tried to sooth him, understanding that the jealousy spoke in him. Finn opened his mouth to answer, but suddenly Eva interrupted their conversation, "Rey! I heard that name from the speaking disc!" She put a hand into the pocket and took out the holodisc she rescued from the Library. She pushed the button and the figures of a woman and a little girl appeared above its surface again, repeating part of the archive record. Luke immediately recognised the small figure of the girl - it was Rey at the age of five or six, wearing the same three buns she always wore.

"Where did you get the disc, Eva?" he asked the girl. She shrugged her shoulders and answered, "In the Library. I liked its blue color."

Luke stood up and nodded to Chewie and Finn, "We need to send a message to the Millennium Falcon. Taking into account that Rey and Ren are not on the planet and the ship is missing, we have huge odds that they're on it." He stretched his hand to the girl and she took his palm, "Come, Eva." He turned to Finn and said softly, "Get well, Finn, we'll come home soon." Finn nodded, but his face expression remained strained. He didn't forgive Rey for her betrayal.

Luke, Eva and Chewie exited the room, searching for a holoprojector to deliver the message to the Millennium Falcon.

-x-

Ren was sitting in the main pilot's chair, checking the engines. His thoughts flew calm and most of them rotated around the woman, sleeping in the crew quarters. He checked the coordinates on the navigational panel. The coordinates of Jakku were glowing there. He knew that she needed her answers, and decided that now, when they were both finally free, he could find them for her, and her home planet was a good place to start with. He thought of the death of Chewie and his uncle and felt regret and something similar to grief, when suddenly the holoprojector of the Millennium Falcon came to life and he recognised the familiar figure of his former Master. He looked older than he remembered him, but his main features stayed the same. Luke coughed and began to speak.

 _Rey, I don't know what you thought when the landslide buried us in the temple, but everybody, except Nola, is alive. We successfully finished the mission and now have both the holocron and the maps. Even Finn, who was shot in the battle, now stays in the hospital. The Resistance won this battle, but the Nallok Library exists no more. But I'm calling you for another reason. By some lucky coincidence, the holodisc regarding your past was rescued from the Library. On it we found the information that a woman, named Alesa Bellax, left you on Jakku on the sixteenth year after the Battle of Endor. The record is damaged, but at least now you know the name," he paused and continued, "I know that you're now flying with Ben somewhere far away from here, Finn saw you together. Now, you need to make your choice. You must know, that I'll support your decision, whether you decide to continue travelling with him, or decide to return to the Resistance together or alone. Just be careful and remember, that the Dark Side is strong within him. You know that I, personally, will always accept you as my apprentice. However, if it's time to say goodbye, l hope that it's just goodbye, not a farewell. Choose wisely, if you run away with him now, there would be no way back to the Resistance." He lifted his gaze and Ren flinched, because the hologram was looking directly into his eyes, "I also have a message for you, my nephew. I don't know, whether your intentions are sincere or not, but I ask you in the name of the good person you once were - don't harm her. If what she sees inside your soul is true - take care of the girl, because nobody except her can save you from yourself._

The message was over and Ren tipped back in chair, biting his lower lip in suppressed anger. Everything was a mess now. It was so easy to take her away from the Resistance when she believed that everybody except Leia was dead, to be her only support in a moment of weakness, and it was so difficult to do it now. Rey's choice was obvious - of course she'd choose to return to the Resistance fools, because she had her sense of duty. His gaze fell onto the panel of the holoprojector with a big red button 'Delete message' on it. _Must he give her the choice?_ The girl seemed to be happy beside him. _Was he worthy enough for her to choose him over her friends?_ The answer was no. _Everybody leaves you, Ben Solo. If you'll give her a choice, she'll leave you too and come to her Resistance friends, leaving you to drown in the Darkness you chose for yourself._ Was it the familiar voice he heard in his head from the childhood or was it his imagination speaking to him?

He clenched his teeth and screwed up his eyes, trying to breathe evenly, to calm himself. His gaze fell onto his saber, still lying on the control panel. A good tantrum with damaging some furniture would bring him relief, but he was afraid both to wake up Rey and to break some essential parts in the cabin. _No, she shouldn't see the message. Rey was his, she didn't belong to the Resistance anymore._

Ben sprang up onto his feet and his hand began its path towards the red button which held the power over his fate.


	18. Chapter 18 - Back to the Origins

**Chapter 18. Back to the origins**

Rey felt the light touch and sensed the sliding of the blanket over her still naked body. He mumbled something, still half-asleep, trying to grasp the blanket with uncertain hand, but it was gone. Suddenly she sensed already familiar, slightly calloused hands on her skin. The touch of the palms was gentle and she smiled in her drowse and stretched, relishing this unexpected caress. She felt as his palms stroked the curves of her body and opened her eyes, watching Ben, sitting on the side of the bed through the eyelashes.

He sat, still without his tunic, chest bare, and everything seemed as before. But the expression of his face startled her, because his lips were pursed and when he lifted his eyes to her face, only to drop them immediately, she saw the darkness swirling inside them.

"Ben…" She tried to raise on her elbows but he shook his head and softly laid his palm onto her chest, lightly pressing so she stayed lying down. He didn't say a word and avoided meeting her gaze and her heart clenched in misgiving. He leaned forward and kissed her and she parted her lips, feeling his tongue sliding between them and answered to his kiss, caressing his scarred cheek with her palm. The kiss was slow and delicate, so different from his usual heated and feverish caresses. He caught her hand with his own and broke the kiss, pressing his lips first to her knuckles and then to her wrist, where the tiny vein pulsated, indicating her heartbeat. There was something bittersweet in this tenderness, as if he sought for forgiveness for some unknown crime or bid her farewell. Rey tried to reach him through the bond, but felt his defences and withdrew, feeling puzzled. _She was asleep for not more than an hour or two, what could have happened?_

"Ben…" Rey tried to ask him again but felt the tip of his finger on her lips. He leaned forward again, grasping both of her wrists with his large palm and pressed them to the pillow above her head, fixing them there. _Something was definitely wrong and it felt as if he needed to feel his power and regain his control_. Despite his defences she felt his turmoil through the bond and remembered the night on the Finalizer. But this time she didn't need to run for her life, to part from him, and his pain was unexplained.

He kissed the place under her earlobe, the sensitive skin burning under his breath, and she slightly whimpered, pressing together her thighs, feeling the desire arising inside the lower part of her abdomen. She was constrained, arms fixed above her head, completely helpless, and that must have aroused him, because he peppered more heated kisses down her throat.

His hand slid down, caressing her breasts and then further down towards her most private place. She arched with a moan feeling his long fingers inside, forgetting her suspicions in the heat of the desire filling all her body and mind. He played her body as if it was a musical instrument and every caress brought the waves of pleasure. She opened her eyes and met his gaze. He towered over her, biting his lower lip, watching her blushing face and disheveled hair on the pillow in admiration, as if watching her naked and moaning from the pleasure he brought was the most beautiful sight in the whole galaxy.

"Ben…" She whispered, unable to breath evenly.

"Tell me, what you want me to do with you," He was playing with her. She blushed even more, unable to express the need of her body in words. It was too much. He leaned towards her ear and she heard his soft chuckle, "Why not to tell me, what you want?"

"I can't do that," Rey whispered back.

"Don't be shy, my desert flower. Let me start," his whisper sounded hoarse, "I want to take you right now right here, on this couch. I will part your legs and have you, watching you moaning under me, begging me not to stop. Oh, how I want it, Rey, but I won't do it unless you tell me that you want me too. I need to hear it from your lovely lips." _Unlike her he obviously was not shy when it came to transforming his dirty thoughts into words_.

"I… I want you, Ben," she felt as his fingers caressed her reassuringly and he kissed her throat. She inhaled his masculine fragrance and her shyness was gone. "I want you to caress me and then take me as you want, without any delays."

Rey felt as he exhaled loudly, turned on by her blunt words, and rose, releasing her wrists and freeing himself of the rest of his clothes. He was back within mere minutes and she finally felt the blissful warmth of his body.

He made love to her overtaken by a strange fever, as if he was a parched wayfarer in a desert, unable to quench his thirst for her body. He thrust into her, kissing her lips almost to bruises, and she answered him, infected with his strange demeanor. It felt as if something was about to part them forever and he feared it. She caught a trace of his thought through the bond. _Water, slipping through the fingers and his hands, trying to catch it, to keep it, but unable to hold_. _And he desperately wanted to keep it but deep inside he was sure that he couldn't do it. What did it mean?_

She crossed her legs behind his back, wanting to stay as close as two human beings could be to each other, and heard him groaning in a low voice at the sensation of her body enveloping him. He grasped the hair on her nape and pulled, urging her to throw back her head, exposing the tender skin on her throat to his hungry kisses. He was blanketing her with his body and his thrusts soon became faster. She wasn't feeling his sorrow now, his mind was a whirlpool of primal passion and desire, without any distinct thoughts.

She felt the closeness of her release and pierced her nails into his back, not thinking of the bruises and scratches they'll leave on his skin. The pain seemed to heat him even more and he pressed her body into the bed with his own, panting heavily, keeping the furious rhythm. Now she was not simply moaning, but basically crying out some disjointed phrases into his lips between the aggressive caresses of his tongue. The sense of time was lost, and they felt alive and whole, fulfilling their need to feel loved and accepted. It was the act of complete exposure and nakedness of both bodies and souls. Two people, a man and a woman, were sharing something beautiful together. They were burning together in flames of their desire for each other and that felt incredible. Soon he released her lips, moaning her name into her neck, and she felt his hot seed filling her, while she exploded in her own release, tightening the grip of her crossed legs, clawing his back in ecstasy.

They lay connected for a few moments, panting, shuddering in the aftermath of the release. Rey expected him to stay with her, but he rose and she groaned in protest, as he left her. She opened her eyes and watched him dressing in silence, with his back to her and Rey's heart clenched again.

He put on his clothes and gathered hers, showing with a gesture that she must dress too. She put on her clothes and stood up, watching him with puzzled eyes.

"Come," Ben's tone was devoid of emotion, as if he hadn't held her in his arms mere minutes ago. He turned around and went out of the quarters. She followed him, watching his frame from behind and wondering what thoughts revolved inside this dark-haired head, still disheveled after their precious moment of closeness.

-x-

Ren lead her towards the flight deck in silence and pressed the button of the holoprojector. He sat in the pilot's chair, turning away from the hologram. Rey couldn't contain her cry of joy when she saw the familiar figure of her Master appearing above the surface of the holoprojector. Luke began his message and she listened to his every word, not believing that her friends were truly alive. It was an incredible feeling. The bright smile shone on her face despite the beads of tears, glistening in her eyes. _They were alive_.

When the message finished, she turned towards Ren and her smile slowly faded. He sat in the main pilot's chair, his back unnaturally straight, hands crossed on his chest, gazing into nothingness with a blank stare. Rey cautiously approached him from behind, lightly laying herpalm on his shoulder. She was afraid that he would protest or even would throw her hand off his shoulder. He was definitely not the type of person to like the sloppy endearments. Their relationship still stayed strange, and the time they shared together still resembled a rollercoaster of hate, passion, desire and the bittersweet tenderness which almost hurt. She suddenly thought that they never actually shared a simple kiss, except for the very first one, which almost cost her life and could never be considered chaste.

But he didn't protest or throw her hand from his shoulder, just shivered at the touch. They stayed in silence for a few moments and then Ren gulped and began to talk, his voice slightly trembling as if he was struggling with the words. "I wanted to delete this message, Rey, but I couldn't do that with you. Snoke was right, I am a weak fool." He spatthe last words bitterly but then managed to settle his emotions. He continued in a much more reserved tone, "You are free to go to your Resistance friends. We'll find a way to take you there as soon as we reach the nearest inhabited planet."

Rey immediately understood why he was so upset when he entered her quarters before. In his thoughts he didn't even consider the possibility of her choosing him over the Resistance. And he gathered all his inner strength to let her go, but couldn't resist coming to her to feel her love and acceptance for the last time. _That lonely boy running through the dark forest was never gone_.

"We can go there together…" Rey mumbled, knowing that he would refuse. He shook his head and looked directly into her eyes, "No. I don't belong with the Resistance. I am no longer loyal to anyone - not to them, not to the First Order. Do not try to fix the things which are broken for a long time, Rey. Even if I believed in what you said about my mother waiting for her son to come back - do not expect her to put her motherly feelings for me above her duties as the General," his tone became harsh, "She never considered her child worthy her attention before, what made you think that she has changed? Have you ever thought, that as well as I am the grandson of Darth Vader, she is his daughter?" He crossed the arms on his chest and Rey felt the anger starting to boil inside him. _He would never forgive his parents for their betrayal_. _For being afraid of their own son. For seeing Vader in the small frightened boy, who was simply unable to cope with his own power._ Ren smirked bitterly and resumed, "I thought of her and Luke sometimes, already being the Knight of Ren. Skywalker twins, so similar to each other and yet so different. Luke always was Padme's son, so calm and worshipping the peace, while Leia was Vader's daughter." His gaze became distant again, "I respect her as my enemy," Rey flinched at the word _enemy,_ referring to his own mother. She remembered Leia asking her to kill Ben if it were necessary and assumed that son was worthy his mother. As if he heard her thoughts, he continued, "She has the pluck and wit, the steel blood and the keen mind. She needs to bring justice to the galaxy and she will bathe it in blood if justice demands it. She has the spirit of the warrior inside her, Rey, and don't you dare think that she'll be so soft when she sees me that she forgives everything. The moment I step at the Resistance land I'll become a captive and she'll sentence me to death as a war criminal." Ren summarized his fate in distant and dry tone. They stayed in silence for a few moments, gazing into nothingness, each one deep in his own thoughts. Suddenly, Rey felt his persistent gaze and looked down into his deep Skywalker eyes. He hesitated for a moment and blurted, "I am loyal to you, not the Resistance." She watched him, not sure how to react to this sudden sincerity. He continued, talking with heat and she again saw the man behind his unemotional mask, "I don't know my path anymore, but if you...I know, I don't have much to offer you, being chased both by Resistance and the First Order. Your duty is to knock me down and bring me to the Resistance to prove your loyalty, or they'll call you traitor. Luke is right, there will be no way back for you. I'm not a good man, but we can find our path together. If you… want me as I am now."

It was unlikehis previous offer to be her teacher. His tone was rid of any sign of arrogance. He was talking to her as if they were equals, offering a fair partnership. Rey sensed that he desperately wanted her to stay but was too proud to ask directly. She chewed her lip in hesitation. The choice was too difficult to make. Her life with the Resistance was familiar and predictable, despite the war. They were her friends and they'd proved their love for her many times. Her fate was with Luke and Finn, staying beside them in this war. On the contrary, choosing Ren brought too many doubts. _Was he in love with her?_ Even now, when he killed his Knights and betrayed the First Order she could not answer this question. His soul still stayed an enigma, despite their closeness. _Was he even able to feel love?_

Deep inside she knew that the right choice she should have made was to return to the Resistance. But imagining being parted from Ren… From _Ben_ again hurt as much as losing a limb. _Was it the Dark Side luring her again, persuading to choose the personal over the duty?_ She looked at Ren again and heard his soft sigh, as he averted his gaze. _Would she be happy with him_?

"Tell me that you want me to stay," her voice suddenly became hoarse, "Kriff, Ben, enough, I am tired of these games of 'choice', 'path' and 'Force'. Just confess that you need me and tell me that you don't want me to go. As a man would tell a woman." She almost said 'to his woman'. _Was she his woman? Was he her man?_

He stayed silent for some moments and she thought bitterly that she'd never hear the words from him. She took her hand off his shoulder, when suddenly he caught her palm and she heard him whispering, "Don't go. Please," he paused and said in a louder voice, "Stay with me, Rey. I need you. Please, stay." His voice trembled from emotion but she felt that he was expecting her refusal and had already came to terms with being alone again, not believing that his words could influence her decision.

Deep inside Rey already knew that the choice was already made, because he was the belonging she had sought for a such a long time. She closed her eyes, listening to the beautiful song of their Force Bond, and smiled, enjoying the warmth of his palm and whispered back, "Okay, Ben, I'll stay with you. I choose you."

He stayed unmoving for a few moments, seeming shocked, and then Rey felt as he slowly lifted her small hand from his shoulder and pressed his lips to her knuckles, gently kissing. The wave of disbelief she felt from him the first moment after her words was replaced with a sense of gratitude. He rose from the pilot's chair and she threw her head back, looking at him, trying to read his face expression. But he simply cupped her face with his large palms and kissed her lips tenderly and she answered him, relishing the unusual sweetness.

"Oh, my little nightingale," she heard him whispering in her lips between the kisses, "My Rey. I promise, I'll protect you whatever tomorrow brings us. You won't regret your choice." He seemed moved. She smiled into his lips and whispered back, "Where are we heading now, Captain Solo?" and immediately regretted calling him that name. He still had a conflict with his parents. She sneaked a gaze at him, but he didn't seem to notice the name she called him. Ben stroked her shoulders and arms and returned to the main pilot's chair.

"Alesa Bellax is the name of the woman who left you on Jakku. I inserted the coordinates to the computer even before receiving Luke's message. I think that we should search there first." He raised his eyes to her and she saw a smile on his face, which was so rare that she felt a desire to keep it somehow, to store somewhere in the depths of her memory. Rey sat in the co-pilot's chair of the Millennium Falcon, feeling that the old life with the Resistance was left behind. She looked at Ben, who turned to the control panel, pressing the buttons, and thought that she didn't know what future might bringt her, but as long as this future was shared with this man who promised to protect her, she didn't fear anything.

-x-

The Millennium Falcon landed softly on the familiar sandy surface of Jakku. Rey gazed on the endless fields of sand and thought of the years of waiting for her family to return. Now, at last, she had a clue to her origins in the name of woman who brought her here. Rey shot her gaze towards Ben, and thought that now she also had him beside her. He rose from his chair and went somewhere into the depth of the ship. She heard the sound of rummaging and decided to follow him, led by her curiosity.

A dark-haired man, dressed in a light brown shirt and grey vest turned towards her, still doing up his buttons. She couldn't help but to chuckle, putting her palm onto her lips. _My-my, like father like son_. The sleeves of Han's old shirt were obviously short for him, so he rolled them up, and that gave him a rather ruffianly look.

"Don't laugh!" He knitted his brows. "I can't wear my clothes, they make me too noticeable."

"I understand… Just…" She paused, not sure if she could tell him about his similarity with Han.

"These are my father's old clothes. I look like a smuggler," he spat the word with obvious disgust, "But that's good for this junkyard."

Rey immediately stopped laughing, feeling offended and hurt by his words. Jakku was her homeworld, despite the fact that she probably was born somewhere else. Most of her life she spent here, on the 'junkyard'. He felt her change of mood and his face softened, "Sorry, Rey, I didn't mean…"

"Never mind. You were the child of a princess and spent most of your childhood in palaces and rich houses. I don't know who my parents were and spent most of my life on the junkyard, scavenging for food and water. These are facts which can't be changed." She tried not to sound too harsh, but couldn't hide the vitriol note.

Ben stayed silent for some moments and decided not to push the subject. "We need to get some weapons."

He was right. They needed to get something to protect their lives with and couldn't use the lightsabers or the Force openly. Rey sighed, because she knew that there were no weapons left on the Falcon and her staff had been turned into her lightsaber. It meant that they needed to go to one place they could get the weapons - to Unkar Plutt.

"Who is it?" She heard Ben asking. The image of crolute must have slipped through their mental bond. She shrugged her shoulders and reluctantly spoke, "It is Unkar Plutt, the junk dealer of the Niima outpost." He raised one brow, "I sense that your feelings for him are not just those one would have for a simple junk dealer." Kriff, sharing a bond was sometimes inconvenient before, but now, when it was so strong, she felt the lack of privacy, unable to hide anything from Ben. She grumbled, "He raised me, but I hold no warm feelings for him, because he made me scavenge for food since I was five or maybe six years old." She didn't want to continue but an image slipped through the bond: an enormous figure with its hand raised to beat the tiny figure curled in the corner of the room and the feeling of pain from the hit. Rey saw as the Ben's face darkened.

"Did he beat you? As a child?" His voice sounded cold and calm. _Too calm_.

"It is in the past, Ben." She tried to appease him, knowing that drawing attention was the last thing they needed now, "Let's just get the weapons and search for traces of Alesa."

"Did he _beat_ you?" It was better to answer him, because his tone was demanding yet calm and that indicated that he was very, very angry.

"Okay, yes, he beat me sometimes, when I worked not hard enough. Or when he got drunk. Or when he was simply in the mood to beat somebody. Never mind," Rey tried to sound as neutral as she could, but childhood memories were not so easy to forget and her face twitched. She felt a light touch on her face and flinched, annoyed with her own lack of self-restraint, but he stroked her cheek reassuringly and asked her in a careless manner, if he were asking her what she wanted forbreakfast, "Do you want me to kill him?" Rey raised gaze on him, shocked, and understood, that he he wasn't joking. He'd kill Unkar Plutt without any hesitation if she just nodded. It was very strange to think about being so close with Kylo Ren that he would suggest killing Unkar because he beat her during her childhood.

She decided to calm the beast and covered his hand on her cheek with her palm, leaned into his touch, gazing directly into his dark eyes. "No, Ben, I don't want you to kill Unkar. I don't want revenge, nor do I want to draw attention. Just let's get the weapons and search for Alesa."

He didn't answer but she noticed a dangerous fire in the depth of his eyes and sighed, knowing that no clothes could mask his character. She wondered if she would need to prevent a fight between Ren and Unkar Plutt. Rey found a clean piece of cloth and threw it to Ren.

"Cover your face, the sand will fill every hole if you don't." She smirked and added, "Welcome to the junkyard, Lord Ren, don't forget to clean the sand out of your nose from time to time."

They both wrapped their faces and now stood before the door of the Falcon, ready to take the first step on the surface of Jakku. She looked at his large frame beside her and suddenly understood how distant she was from her old life. Luke and Leia, Finn and Poe, the Resistance and the First Order seemed distant and unreal. They were ready to step on the planet where it all started and there were just two of them now against the world. Both of them now needed to stay away from the war, because both of them were traitors. She impulsively took his palm and squeezed it softly.

"Thank you for coming with me to find my answers."

His eyes watched her seriously from the gap in the cloth and she felt him squeezing her palm in return.

The door opened and two figures which seemed tiny in compare to the enormous sand dunes, began their path towards Niima outpost.


	19. Chapter 19 - Unfriendly Home

Chapter 19. Unfriendly Home

They stood in the shadow of the tent near Unkar Plutt's stall, watching the long queue of scavengers. Each scavenger held his precious findings very tightly and everyone looked forward, every eye fixed on the stall. Almost all faces were covered with various types of rags for protection from pervasive sand, so Rey and Ren were indistinguishable from the vast majority of people in the queue. Rey flinched and averted her gaze from it. It felt strange to be the part of this community again. On Jakku, there existed no war, no Resistance or First order. Here, the rules of life were simple. _Scavenge to eat. Eat to live. Live to scavenge_.

She turned to Ren and freed the bottom half of her face from the cloth.

"You'll bargain." She stated in a low voice and pushed the bag with spare parts she took with her from the Falcon.

"Me?" Ren sounded utterly surprised, his voice muffled by the cloth, covering his face in the same manner as Rey's.

"Yeah, you. I can't let Unkar recognise me. I stole the Millennium Falcon right from under his nose and he won't be happy to see me again." She smiled at the memory for a moment, but soon became serious again, "Look, bargaining is not difficult. You'll need to remember a few tips. When we reach his stall, don't say anything, just put the bag on the window. Don't ask him how much he'll give for the staff. We have some expensive details here so let the items speak for themselves - it will prove that you know their real price. When Plutt suggests the first price just unwrap your face and spit onto the sand. You'll prove that you're not afraid and you've come to have the real deal. Reject the next price he'll name. You can start the real bargain from the third price. Don't sell the parts less than for fifty rations. When he agrees, you can tell you that we need weapons. If he asks why do we need the weapons just sell him the story that we're the scavengers from Cratertown, who came to Niima, searching for a better life. The junk dealer near Cratertown is too greedy so we decided to move and sell the parts to Unkar instead. It is common here so he'll swallow it. Than he'll invite you inside the stall and I'll stay outside, because I can't reveal my face. Unkar will offer you some rubbish at first - reject it calmly yet firmly. And for the love of the Force, don't try to fight him, even if he humiliates you"

"Scavengers from Cratertown, how pathetic," grumbled Ren. Rey shrugged her shoulders, "It is the best fib to stay invisible here, in the junkiyard."

The sun had already began to dip under the horizon when their turn came. Rey wisely left Ren some time before the turn came and hid in the shadow of one of the tents, making sure she could observe Ren. He stepped closer to the window and she held her breath because the first impression was everything. Ren threw the bag before Unkar with the casuality of a king. Some items fell from the bag, clanking, but Ren didn't seem to pay any attention. Rey cautiously watched him from a distance, ready to take part in a fight any minute. But the start was not so bad as she expected. She shifted her gaze to Unkar Plutt's face behind the barred window. _The Blobfish_ \- she always called him this name inside her head - hadn't changed a bit. He had stayed the same enormous ugly creature, muttering behind the window, examining the junk. The crolute studied the parts in the bag and turned away, pretending not interested in them.

"Twenty rations for this trash." She heard the familiar growling voice from behind the bars. _Greedy sleemo_. Ren unwrapped his face and spat on the sand with the grace of experienced haggler and shot a scorning gaze towards the crolute. The buzzing queue became mute all of sudden, watching an unfamiliar scavenger who dared to confront the junk king.

"Twenty five rations and it is only because I like bold ones." Unkar still pretended to be uninterested in the bargain, but Rey's experienced ear caught the note betraying his interest and she smiled under the rugs, covering her face. _Gotcha_.

"D' I look like _stoopa_?" Ren's tone was lazy and Rey was surprized with the unfamiliar accent and the Huttese equivalent of the word 'fool'. She never knew he spoke Huttese, but it was a good shot, since all Jakku junk business submitted to the Hutts and half of the scavengers talked a mixed language, which was half-common, half-Huttese. She never knew of his acting skills either and now watched him almost in amazement. It was the same Ren she instructed mere minutes ago, but something in his demeanor changed. He was relaxed yet bold and she watched him resting his elbows upon the window of Plutt's stall, speaking in the same lazy manner. Nothing betrayed his lack of experience in bargaining and soon, to her surprize, Rey realised that Ren had raised the price to fifty five rations. Plutt and Kylo stroke hands and Rey saw Ren leaning forward, talking to Unkar in a low voice. She didn't hear the conversation but assumed that it was the time to speak about the weapons they needed. Unkar stood up from his chair and beckoned Ren somewhere in the depth of the building with his blobby hand. They disappeared behind the small door and Rey's heart clenched in anxiety.

She was so busy worrying for Ben that she didn't notice the small figure, wrapped in rags, observing her from the shadow of the tent.

-x-

Resistance was leaving Ialia.

Luke sighed and turned away from the crowd of troopers and noticed the tiny figure on the cliff. Eva stood in silence, gazing on the Nallok'galor, lying below. Luke felt compassion for the girl, who lost her mother and now was about to leave her home planet with some strangers.

"Don't be afraid, young one," he tried to reassure the girl. "Once there was a time when all the Force-sensitive children of your age left their homes to join the Jedi Academy."

Eva raised her bright eyes to Luke and asked, "Did you join such academy too, _olma_?"

Luke understood that Eva called him Master in her native language, Ryl. He smiled, sat near the girl and patted the grass near his thigh. The little twi'lek sat down beside him.

"No, Eva, I had an old master who taught me the ways of the Force. I was much older than you are now." He seemed distant, deep in his memories.

"This Song, you call it the Force… Do you feel it too?"

"Yes, my dear. I can teach you how to use it. If you want this, of course." Luke watched as Eva turned her gaze towards the city again.

" _Master_ , did the knowledge of the Force make you happy?" Her tone was calm. Luke remembered the day he discovered that he was Force-sensitive himself and that this knowledge cost him the lives of his uncle and aunt. He remembered the call of the Dark Side, luring him. The face of his father appeared before his eyes. Not the mask, which had intimidated the Galaxy for years, but the face of tired and crippled man, craving for forgiveness and peace. The Force gave Anakin Skywalker power but never made him happy. Nor had it done so for his son.

"No, young one, it did not make me happy." He paused for the moment. "But it made me the man I am now. It helped to bring the peace to the Galaxy, even though that peace appeared to be temporary."

"Would you be happier if you didn't have the gift?" Eva's question sounded very serious. "Did you ever wanted to have another life? To have a family of your own?"

Luke didn't answer for a while, thinking of the life he had. The _sad eyes on his father's face. Two burnt bodies on the sand of Tatooine. Han and Leia's wedding. Padawans of his new academy. Little Ben Solo learning to use the Force. The figure of Kylo Ren with cracking red lightsaber._ _Rey, holding the rock with the Force for the first time, smiling proudly._ Soon, he shook his head and answered, "No, I wouldn't change a thing."

Eva nodded and Luke felt that she understood him without further explanations. He had made many choices during his long life and some of them may have been wrong, but the choices were his.

Master and youngling stood up and gazed onto the sun of Ialia, beginning to dip below the horizon. Luke looked at the girl and a familiar picture passed through his mind. A very long time ago the young farm boy gazed onto the binary sunset on Tatooine, not yet knowing of the destiny lying ahead. He closed his eyes and felt the song of the Force within the girl. And felt it again.

A new hope.

-x-

Rey didn't notice the small figure slip into the building, where Ren and Unkar bargained on the weapons. Sudenly she heard a loud rumble from the building, followed by yells, and felt a wave of fear and hatred, which must have slipped through their Force Bond.

 _Kriff, he couldn't even buy the weapons without getting them both into a trouble._

She opened the door with a kick only to find Ren hovering over the body, his lightsaber ignited in his hand. He turned towards her and opened his mouth to say something, but she didn't allow him to say a word. The crowd of scavengers gathered at the entrance, silent yet seeming not very surprised with the outcome. Nobody liked Plutt and Rey doubted that there was anyone in the crowd who pitied him. But Niima Outpost had the police, loyal to Plutt. He was the law here and the police were paid by him. Now the source of their money lay on the floor. Rey and Ren needed to get out of that place as quickly as possible.

She heard a groan and knelt beside the crolute. Unkar Plutt seemed to be still alive, but Rey understood that it wouldn't last long, noticing the deep wound from the lightsaber on his chest. Nobody could help him with such wound so she decided at least to get some information. She removed the cloth covering her face and took his ugly head into her palms. He was breathing heavy, clinging to life, unsuccessfully trying to inhale more air into his damaged lungs.

"Do you recognise me?" She looked into his eyes and saw the flicker of hatred ignited inside them. _He did recognise her_. "Listen. Alesa Bellax, where is she?" Plutt opened his mouth but no sound came out of it. Only a bloody bubble popped in the corner of his lips. He tensed and managed to mutter some words. She leaned towards him, to hear him better.

"You… Desert scum… I should have broken your tiny neck when that bitch brought you to me." He tried to spat into her face but he was to weak to do it.

They were loosing the time and the time was precious now.

 _Make him suffer. Torture him. Get the information you so desperately want._

She looked at the wound on Unkar's chest and a dark thought passed through her mind. _Perhaps, if she inflicted a little pain the crolute would talk more willingly…_

"Tell her or I would make your death more painful." Ren's tone was calm and dangerous. "I won't hesitate to do it." Rey flinched as she heard his voice and remembered Luke's message. _Remember, that the Dark Side is strong within him._

"Kehoo... She wanted to go to Kehoo... to hide. Curse you… both..." The whisper of Unkar rustled almost inaudible. Another bubble of blood popped on his lips. Rey looked into his eyes and understood that the end was near. His eyes were slowly becoming glassy, as the life was leaving his enormous body. She felt remorse and shamefor her thoughts of torturing Unkar. He was the closest resemblance of family she had on Jakku and despite the hatred she felt towards him Rey couldn't help but feel pity for the dying creature. She was still holding his head in her palms. His mouth twitched as if he wanted to say something more, but it was obvious that his time had come to an end. He sighed for the last time and his eyes became glassy and expressionless.

Rey shook her head and sprang to her feet. The pity for Unkar was replaced back with rage towards Ren but she decided to leave the fight for a better time. They needed to save their lives. She lifted her eyes to him and he nodded, silently showing her some weapons he got from Plutt. Rey's gaze fell upon the rations and she grabbed as many as she could, cramming them into the bag. Unkar Plutt didn't need them anymore.

They ran out of the house, the crowd splitting before them in silence. Rey noticed someone's speeder parked near one of the tents.

"Ren! The speeder!" She didn't notice as he slightly shuddered at his old name Rey called him. She was too angry with him.

Rey jumped into the saddle of the speeder and hastily tried to crank the engine. But it stayed mute. She heard the sound of police sirens and felt a lump in her throat. Her hands began to shake as she tried to start the engine again and again. _No, they didn't run from the First Order to be captured by ordinary police on Jakku_.

"C'mon, you old piece of junk, get us out of here," she mumbled in desperation, feverishly trying to guess what was wrong. Suddenly, she saw a familiar big hand stretching from behind, pressing the small button on speeder's panel.

" _Calm yourself, Rey. You forgot to unblock the panel. Now try again._ " Ren must have understood that talking to her was dangerous now so he pushed a thought through the bond.

Rey almost cried in relief when suddenly the engine came to life.

-x-

Rey jumped from the speeder near the familiar AT-AT lying in the sand. They had managed to shake off their pursuers and now were in relative safety. The sun was almost below the horizon and no one would chase them at night in the desert.

"Rey…" She heard him calling her name from behind. Rey turned towards him and studied his face. Ren's expression was nowhere near guilty. It drove her mad and, finally, she let go of her self-restraint.

"You… How could you! You put both our lives in danger only to sate your thirst for blood?!" Rey cracked down on him, infuriated. "I thought we sorted it out, I didn't want Unkar's blood as a revenge for my childhood!" She managed to calm a bit and spat coldly, "You may consider yourself a knight in shining armor but I didn't ask you to kill him! You just couldn't restrain the beast inside yourself."

He stood straight and stiff, his face unreadable, arms crossed on his chest. _Oh, how she wanted to wipe this expression off his face_. Intending to wound him more, she continued, voice trembling from suppressed rage, "You stayed the monster I saw the first time we met on Takodana. I asked you just to buy us weapons without conflict. But you need to kill to feed the demons inside this distorted mind of yours!" She stopped, panting, clenching her fists.

"So, that's what you truly think of me, _girl_. The mad bloody beast, huh?" His tone was flat but Rey sensed a note of sadness. But she was too infuriated by him so when he stretched his hand towards her, she recoiled.

"Don't you dare touch me, Ren." Rey hissed through her clenched teeth.

"Let me show you something. If you will still consider me the murderer, I promise I'll go away and you won't see me anymore."

Rey's heart clenched at his words. She was very disappointed with Ren's actions, but she could not deny her feelings towards Ben. No matter what, she felt something very strong towards this man. Besides that, somewhere at the back of her thoughts she _wanted_ to find the explanation for this murder and she _wanted_ to forgivehim.

Rey decided to give him a chance. She slightly nodded and felt as he gently took her palm. She closed her eyes and now she was inside his memories.

 _...She was inside the small room where Plutt stored the items for sale._

" _A good blaster, the best in stock! And I'll sell it for twenty rations. Agree, that's a fair price!" Rey heard the familiar Unkar's growling voice and turned towards two figures in the room._

" _D' not try to ful me, pateesa, dat' pis of junk does not cost more dan' ten ratio." Ren professionally weighted the blaster in his hand and continued, "But I respect you so much dat' I'll give fifteen and take dat' naif as a gift." He pointed at the small knife lying in the box with other items. His movements were lazy and unfamiliar and Rey felt amused by the quality of his play._

 _A small figure in rags slipped into the room and Unkar Plutt turned away from Ren. He leaned towards the guest, listening carefully to something he whispered into his ear. Then he gave one ration to the informer and dismissed him. When he turned back there was something changed in his face and Rey saw Ren tense, feeling the change in Plutt's demeanor._

" _Well, how interesting. My bird just told me he recognised an old friend of mine sought by the First Order. I assume you won't be offended if I make a call." Unkar Plutt turned away from Ren and switched on the old holoprojector in the corner of his room. It beeped, connecting to the holonet._

 _Waves of rage and fear overwhelmed Rey's mind. It must have been Ren's emotions. He was afraid to lose her. He had no choice._

 _Everything happened in mere seconds. One moment Plutt stood before the holoprojector and the next moment he fell, the red lightsaber protruding from his chest. As if in slow motion Rey watched him falling and heard the rumble. She turned towards the door and saw it opened with her silhouette in the doorframe._

She opened her eyes and inhaled loudly, as if she came up from deep water. Rey sensed the blood flushing towards her cheeks and ears, making her face hot. She was confused and ashamed of accusing Ben earlier. He stood tense, his face unreadable. The pause lingered, mostly because Rey couldn't find the appropriate words to express herself. Finally, she softly touched his sleeve with tips of her fingers.

"I am so sorry, Ben, I misjudged you. Now I know that you protected me, you protected _us_." Her voice was full of regret. Ren shrugged his shoulders and asked her in a husky voice, "Am I still a monster to you? Do you think that I need to fulfill my bloodlust?"

Rey shook her head and whispered only with her lips, "I am sorry." She felt the self-abhorrence because she was no better than Han Solo from little Ben's memories. She was afraid of her closest friend for now and was ready to think the worst about him.

Ren must have sensed her shame and decided not to torture her further. He nodded towards the half-buried AT-AT and asked, "Can we spend the night in this? It is getting dark and cold."

"Let's go and see. If somebody haven't found it during my absence on Jakku, I think we can stay overnight," answered Rey, feeling happy to change the subject.

"Wait... You want to say that it is your home?" Ren seemed utterly surprised. It was Rey's turn to shrug her shoulders, because she suddenly felt uneasy. "It used to be. I was not born in a senator's family you know," she raised her index finger to his face and stated dryly, "And don't you dare pity me."

She opened the entrance and they both disappeared inside the dead war machine before the last ray of sunshine disappeared in darkness.

-x-

Everything inside the old AT-AT was covered with dust, but it seemed that no one had found her little home. Rey was grateful to Ben for the absence of questions, although she noticed his eyebrows rising when he observed the scratches on the walls. Hundreds of them marred the dusty surface, representing her years of waiting.

They ate the rations in silence, drinking the water Rey got from the storage inside one of the AT-AT legs. It was the emergency stock she made for herself when she'd hurt her leg so badly that she almost died from thirst, laying all alone in her hiding-place, unable to walk. Now she had a feeling that it was her last time ever on Jakku, so saving the water made no sense anymore.

The desert night was getting cold and they lay together onto the dusty mattress, trying keep warm. It was very strange to share a bed like that, although Rey admitted that she began to get used to Ben's constant presence in her life. They stayed fully dressed due to the cold. She nestled her face beside the crook of his neck and began to fall into slumber, when suddenly a familiar face passed through her mind. It was the face of Dom, Ben's friend, looking from below with ultimate hatred in his eyes. It must have been Ben's thoughts and she understood that it must have troubled him. The time passed so quickly and the battle on the Ialia seemed a distant memory, but in fact only mere days passed since Lord Ren slaughtered all his Knights with his own hand.

"Tell me everything." She grabbed his hand under the blanket. "Tell me about your Knights of Ren."

Ren sighed and she felt him lowering his mind restrains. He decided to show her the story of Kylo Ren, Leader of the Knights of Ren.


	20. Chapter 20 - Price for the truth

**_A/N I am so sorry, guys, that I make you wait for chapters for such a long time. But I am having hard time in my life._**

 ** _I was so inspired by The Last Jedi trailer that decided at least finish chapter 20, which was staying unfinished for months! My Reylo heart is burning wildly, same, as before._**

* * *

 **Chapter 20. Price for the truth**

Rey felt as he laid both hands on the sides of her head and closed her eyes, dipping into his memories.

-x-

 _"Hi, I'm Domhall. But everyone calls me Dom."_

It was a sunny day and Rey lifted her hand to protect her eyes from the bright light. A brown-haired boy stood before her, uneasily clutching his hands behind his back. He sheepishly rocked forward and backward on his heels and tiptoes, looking somewhere behind her.

"Hi. I am Ben. Ben Solo."

The voice came somewhere from behind. She turned around. Ben was slightly older than she saw him last time in Kylo's memories, but still very young, maybe six or seven years old. He was dressed in the jedi beige attire and she noticed the padawan braid behind his ear. Two boys seemed uneasy around each other, standing in awkward silence.

"I am new here and Master Luke told me you do not like other padawans. So, he decided that we would be sharing a room from now on." Dom was first to break the silence.

Little Ben shrugged his shoulders without a word and Rey sensed the antipathy from him. _Why they can't just leave me alone._ The newcomer, however, perceived the gesture as a sign of consent, so he smiled widely and continued, "Maybe you can show me around?"

"Yes… I can." Ben didn't seem very happy with having a new roommate, but at least tried to be polite. He approached Dom and Rey noticed a lightsaber, which was attached to his belt. Dom must have noticed it too, because the gasp of admiration left his chest. "Wow! So it's true that you've already built your lightsaber!"

The admiration in Dom's voice must have melted Ben's heart a little, because he removed the saber from his belt and ignited it. It had a beautiful golden-yellow color.

"Master Luke said that the yellow sabers are rare among Jedi these times." Ben's voice sounded rather proud, which was expected for a boy of his age.

"Can I hold it for a while? Please, please, please…" Dom seemed agitated. Ben disabled the saber and put it into Dom's palm with hesitation. The brown-haired boy held it very carefully with both hands for a few moments and then returned it to its owner with obvious reluctance.

"I won't be able to build my own for a long time. I know nothing yet. The only thing I can do is to move the stones with the Force and that's it." Dom's voice sounded rather disappointed.

"Maybe I can show you some tips and tricks." Ben's voice was a little warmer than before.

Rey looked at Ben, surprised with his change of demeanor. He seemed not so displeased with the idea of having a roommate and she felt a wave of affection from him. Two boys headed towards the building not very far away from the place they first met, talking to each other in low voices.

"...That's how I met Dom. Nothing interesting." She suddenly heard a familiar deep voice of adult Ben beside her. She turned and noticed his tall figure. In his dreams he was still dressed in black from head to toe. His arms were folded on his chest and he chewed his lip in deep thought watching two boys walking away. Rey understood that they were strolling through Ben's memories together now. Finally, he sighed and stated, bitterly, "He didn't have to do anything special to gain my trust, huh? I felt lonely and abandoned and Luke had so many younglings that he couldn't give me the attention I craved so desperately. I felt something in Dom - he was lonely too, in his own way, so we supported each other. Soon I learned that he had no father and his mother worked hard to feed her family, so their life was poor and hard. He was the eldest from the three children, but the others were from different fathers, who also left her. She was almost relieved when Luke found him and brought to the academy, freeing her from another hungry mouth. He was rather strong with the Force, very sensitive to other people's emotions. Dom told me once that at the day Luke came after him he felt that his mother was happy to get rid of him. He loved his mother but never could forgive her for that betrayal. We were alike and he understood what it meant to be unwanted."

Ben's voice died away and the picture changed. Now it seemed to be some kind of dormitory room. Rey heard muffled sobs and recognised the slightly grown up Ben Solo, clutching his pillow, and Dom beside him. She lifted her gaze to adult Ben's face and noticed that he bit his lip, betraying the emotion behind his pretended calmness.

"You know, Ben, you must tell Master Luke of your dreams." Dom's voice was full of compassion, "He'll help."

"No. He'll claim I'm mad, like others did." Ben's voice was intervened with uncontrolled sobs. "This voice… It tortures me. Tells me horrible things. Teaches me horrible things…"

"Wait… It teaches you?" Dom's voice sounded curious.

"Yes. It tells me about the Dark Side. About the glory and the power of Darkness." The words were muffled by the pillow.

The room stayed in silence for a while. But then, Rey heard the request she expected to hear least of all.

"Will you… Show me what it taught you?" Dom's tone contained the strange and dangerous note. But Ben didn't seem to catch it. He lifted his tearstained face from the pillow and looked with his two big brown eyes into the face of his friend. "We must not do this. Master Luke says the Dark Side is dangerous, it lures you into a trap."

"C'mon, do you believe everything he says? You're so talented, I think he just holds you back." Dom's voice was sweet as honey. "We won't tell anybody, I promise."

"I started to teach him. It was a relief to share my burden with someone who did not judge." Somebody placed a palm on her shoulder. Rey understood that it was adult Ben again. "However, he broke his promise not to tell anyone and soon, he brought another boy to me. And another. And another. How he persuaded them to come I still don't know - he always had the talent to come along with people. There were seven of us, a secret club. I found the appreciation I never felt before. I was the leader, the mentor, I could share the knowledge I didn't ask for and it felt wonderful. There was no need to pretend, to hold back. The Dark Side filled me with power and I wasn't bound by Luke's restraints." Rey lifted her brows, not understanding what he meant. Ren sighed and explained, "Time went by and learning under Luke's tutelage became unbearable - I think he was afraid of my powers and tried to slow me down. But the Light Side was not enough for me, it did not bring the satisfaction the Darkness did. I hid the passion inside me, pretending to play the games of the Light, but it never felt as good as during those practices with my new friends."

"What… What happened _that_ night?" Rey lifted her gaze and watched Ben's face darkening. For the moment she thought that he'll throw her away from his memories, but he only sighed in response.

"Do you really want to know? Because what is known can't be unknown." His tone contained a shadow of misery. "You see the beast inside me in its full glory. Think twice before asking me to show you that."

In her mind she realized that knowledge could be very dangerous. But on the other hand - what could have alienated her from Ben now, when they walked together in an unknown direction hand in hand? She knew that he made many mistakes and hoped that she had already forgiven him. No one was able to change the past. Despite the fact that he warned her of the dangers of knowledge, in his deep dark eyes she again saw a yearning and a desire to open up to another person. The need to purify his soul with a confession. She decided that she could at least give it to him. That her love for his is strong enough. 

"Yes, I am sure. Show me the moment when Ben Solo became Kylo Ren."

He nodded in silence and everything became dark again.

-x-

Two boys circled each other in slow pace, lightsabers ignited, gazes fixed on the opponent. Suddenly one of the pair jumped forward with a yell, trying to reach the other with the blade, but the move was unsuccessful.

"Embrace your anger! You must _want_ to wound him!"

Ben Solo stood with his arms crossed on his chest, observing the duel; tall, young and a little gangly-looking. He resembled a strange bird with his long nose and long thin legs. His figure was only half-transformed to the lean and slender body of the young man she remembered, so he looked a little "unfinished". His face was still childish, but he was already a young man rather than a boy. Rey noticed that he had begun to shave and it must have happened not very longago, because the scratches on his face betrayed the lack of experience. He must have been around sixteen. But the eyes on his unusual face shone with the same wild fire she had got used to. Besides that, Ren behaved confidently and the difference between the small crying boy Rey saw earlier and the young man before her was surprising.

The attacker shook his head stubbornly and struck again. And again. And soon Rey felt the aura of the Dark Side, emanating from the fighters. She shivered. Now it was not just the training of padawans - the two duelists really craved each other's blood, unleashing their anger and using it as a fuel. The blows seemed to become stronger and faster, fueled by the energy of anger. One of the blows was more successful than others, and one of the boys was able to reach his opponent with the blade. However, there must have been some sort of protection on the sabers, because his opponent just hissed from pain, but no wound appeared on his shoulder.

"Good! That's what I mean!" Ben was pleased with the success of his student.

It was a rather hot summer evening and the sun was about to dip below the horizon. Dom, who was observing the training from behind, yawned and stated lazily, "You two fight like old women in the market for the last meiloorun froot. I'd rather go to bed than watch you two trying to poke each other with your glowing sticks."

One of the fighters opened his mouth to protest, but had no opportunity to do that.

"What are you guys doing here?!"

Everybody became silent at once. The tension in the air was almost palpable, so Rey turned to see a boy of the same age as Ben and Dom, standing in the lane between the bushes with an opened mouth. _He knows_. Suddenly Rey felt the blood bumping in her ears. Ben's panicked thoughts echoed inside her head. _That boy is no novice to the Force, his question was rather a statement than a real question. Everything was written clearly on his face. He knew immediately what exactly they were doing there. The Dark Side._

Suddenly Rey felt as her head burst with the familiar voice inside her mind, demanding and insistent. _Kill him. Kill him now! He knows too much!_ She squeezed her head in her palms and fell to her knees, unable to resist the call of the Darkness. _Kill the boy!_ Through the bloody haze before her eyes Rey watched young Ben Solo unbuckling his saber from his belt and slowly approaching the boy who still watched him with wide eyes . He seemed hypnotized, as prey before the snake. She understood that Ben Solo was now failing the final battle with the voice which had poisoned his life since his childhood. She understood that was the moment of choice and suddenly she felt fear. She didn't really want to see his demons. She knew that he did horrible things, but as long as she didn't see it with her own eyes it seemed distant. Now she was about to face the truth and she suddenly understood that she was not ready.

 _No, Ben, I don't want to see it_.

 _Watch me, Rey. It is my confession to you. You craved for the knowledge and this pain is the price._

 _Kill him!_ The voice inside Rey's head raged and screamed, holding her at the edge of sanity. Considering that what she felt now was only the echo of young Ben Solo's feelings, she couldn't imagine the agony he felt. Finally, the other boy seemed to understand that his life was in danger. He tried to grab his own lightsaber with a yell but young Ben Solo waved his hand and the saber flew somewhere far away. It was not even a duel, it was going to be the murder of an unarmed prey.

 _I don't want to know, Ben!_

But the real Ben Solo seemed deaf to her pleas. She tried to break the connection and the real world began to flicker somewhere at the edge of her consciousness. For a moment she felt that her face was wet with tears, and she sensed his hands on the sides of her head. For a second she even looked into the eyes of the real Kylo Ren, full of pain and agony. _I can't stop now. You will know even if you don't want to know anymore_. _See me. I stand stripped before you, waiting for your judgement. You can't retreat now._

The boy yelled something and retreated, but young Ben's face was still and cold as a stone. Ben's hand clutching the saber moved forward towards boy's chest, but the blade was still disabled. The world around was mute, as if somebody had stolen all the sounds. Rey felt as his finger trembled on the button of the lightsaber. Somewhere there, deep inside, Ben Solo tried to resist the Darkness, but there was no one to help him confront it. He balanced at the edge, while his hand with disabled lightsaber completed its path to boy's chest.

"KILL HIM!"

This time it was not the internal voice, but a human one. It was full of anger and lust for blood, full of the primal Darkness, which lies hidden in every human being. Rey turned her head and understood that not only she and young Ben were consumed by the Dark Side. Dom stood still, his fists clenched, breathing heavily. He didn't resist the Dark Side as Ben did - he embraced it with joy and now leaned forward, his nostrils wide and trembling in anticipation.

Dom's outcry tipped the scale. Rey felt as something broke inside her and understood that it was Ben Solo breaking inside the dark-haired young man. Ben was tired of struggling with the Dark Side which became a part of him through all these years. He finally surrendered to it. The choice was made and the trembling finger on the button twitched for the last time and pressed it.

The limp body fell onto grass with a thud.

Rey felt as her heart sank somewhere very deep and she began to fall into the darkness after shards of Ben Solo.

-x-

...Pale and tall, Ben standing straight and stiff in front of the six kneeling boys, as they vowed to serve him as his knights. She heard a shadow of their voices, repeating the words of the ancient vow of loyalty, and saw the blood trickling from the wounds on their palms. They mixed their blood and became brothers.

..Golden-yellow lightsaber, moving up and down with a whoosh, shredding the night into pieces. The real Ren was merciful enough not to show her the deaths of all Luke's padawans. But the picture of the yellow blade imprinted into her mind like a burning seal. Each stroke brought death.

...Kylo Ren dressed in black from head to toe staring into the mirror at his pale face, surrounded by a halo of raven black hair. His hands nervously clutching the mask. Rey looked as he sighed and put it on slowly. She shivered from the familiar click of the lock. _That must have been the first time he put it on._

...Ren constructing his new lightsaber... Ren kneeling before the tall figure on a throne... Ren lying on the training floor, his face covered with blood… Adult Kylo Ren looking into the mirror with a long gaze of tired brown eyes and then, the click of the mask, hiding the human behind it. Interrogations. Deaths. Battles. Burnt towns and villages. Han Solo's face. Leia's face. Dom's face. Her own face...

The rest of the memories flew through Rey's mind like a kaleidoscope of nightmares. She felt herself empty and dirty. Now it was real for her. His sins were seen and confirmed.

She felt him releasing her head and opened her eyes to see his face. He looked at her with a strange mix of hope and desperation, as if she really was his only judge. She opened her dry lips and asked hoarsely, "I want to ask one question." He nodded and she continued. "Do you regret killing the boy who saw your trainings?"

He stayed silent for some moments and then she heard his husky whisper, "Every day."

The answer surprised her. He seemed sincere. Rey didn't know what to do, torn between the desire to push him away and the desire to show him sympathy. She thought her love would be strong enough to share his burdens, but the truth was too heavy. She felt cheated despite the fact that she knew that all this was true. She wanted to forgive him, but now but now she did not feel that she could do it. The impression from his story was still fresh and she couldn't discuss it yet. But she didn't send him away either, feeling unable to live the night without him by her side. He must have understood her feelings because he silently turned away from her, trying to give her as much personal space as the mattress allowed.

Despite the strength of what she'd just experienced, she quickly fell into a restless sleep.


	21. Chapter 21 - Path towards Kehoo

_**A/N Yaaaay, another chapter in less than a week! I'm proud of myself ^^**_

* * *

 **Chapter 21. Path towards Kehoo**

Rey woke up, chattering in the morning cold. The AT-AT had cooled during the night so that it became almost impossible to stay inside. She rubbed her eyes and looked around. The other side of the mattress was empty, and somehow it felt uncomfortable.

Rubbing herself with her hands to warm up, Rey got out of the old war machine, screwing her eyes up from the brightness of the morning sun. She looked around and immediately found Ren. He sat with his back to her, hunched over, still looking slightly unrealistic in the dusty smuggler's clothes instead of his usual black robes. His lightsaber lay aside, half thrust into the sand, as if someone had thrown it against the ground in a fit of rage. A large boulder, which was brought to this naked desert by some unknown forces thousands of years ago, was now half melted with traces of a lightsaber on its surface.

She cautiously approached the stooped figure. Ren did not move, still sitting motionless, dropping his head in his hands. She walked around him, expecting to meet his burning gaze staring into nothingness, but his eyes were closed. He slept sitting, seemingly exhausted by a flash of powerless rage. Automatically, she noticed that he hadn't shaved for a couple of days and his patchy bristles made him look a little older. The dark circles around his eyes were prominently marked on his pale face, betraying that he hadn't slept properly.

She knelt beside him, still with mixed feelings after last night. Despite the sympathy she felt for him, Rey could not bring herself to touch him. She was angry with herself for this cowardice, trying to convince herself that she knew what she was going for, that there was no turning back, but the thought of simple touch infused her with fear. She perceived that Ren was the same person she knew and loved, that his confession did not make him a monster, but the thought of the lives that his hand had taken repulsed her. She had the feeling that instead of a warm human hand she would feel the cold hand of a murderer and at that very moment their fragile world would be broken.

Suddenly, she made a careless move, disturbing Ren's sensitive sleep. He jerked, opening his eyes, immediately throwing up his head like a predatory bird. She must have instinctively raised her hands in a defensive gesture, because a trace of pain flashed through his eyes.

"So, you again hate me. Moreover, now you are afraid of me. You didn't fear me even when I interrogated you." His tone was bitter, yet calm. Rey felt the blood flushing to her face. He looked straight at her. The pain burning in his eyes was gone, and now his gaze was cold and distant. He tried to push her away despite his promise not to do it last time when they made love.

They were both broken and each was used to being alone. Each step closer was made with great difficulty. Sometimes, it seemed that here it was, the closeness, trust, warmth of another person. But in the next moment all the distance that they had overcome on the way to each other suddenly came back again between them. It happened over and over and Rey feared that it would never end. Closeness brought such possibilities for pain...

Someone had to stop running. With an effort of will she overcame herself and gently placed her hand on top of his. He slightly shuddered, but did not pull his hand away. Rey exhaled. Ren's hand was warm and human, the same as always, and it calmed her down a little.

For a moment they stayed in silence and then she licked her dry lips and said emphatically, "Kiss me." The stone-calm expression on his face was wiped away and his eyebrows went up in surprise.

"Not a word more," she lifted a finger to his lips, "Just kiss me and we'll go and find the ship and fly away from here to Kehoo. You won't push me away this time."

Rey closed her eyes. She simultaneously expected and feared his kiss, as if this kiss solved everything. She knew that she still did not forgive Ren completely, that she needed time. They needed this step towards each other in order to gain this time and accept the past. They hadn't learned to trust each other yet, but who said that it was easy to love a villain?

For a moment she felt his breath and then his lips covered hers. Ren kissed her carefully, cupping her cheek with his large palm. She opened her mouth, inviting him inside. Their tongues met and danced together, gently at first, but gaining more passion with each moment. But the kiss suddenly stopped and she groaned in disappointment. Ren stood up and now he looked down at her, holding out his hand to help her stand up too. His expression was unreadable, but seemed softer than before. He looked into her eyes for a few more moments, then turned around and headed towards the entrance of AT-AT, leaving her to stand alone.

"You're _mine_ , you know it, right?!" She cried out, not completely sure what she wanted to say with this phrase. His tall figure froze in the opening and Rey immediately regretted her impulse. His mania of possession made her repeat to him that she was his, but they never translated this conversation into the plane of equal relations.

But after a moment he turned around and pointed at the scar on his cheek. The corner of his mouth twitched in a light smirk, "How can I forget? You claimed me yours from the beginning." And then he turned away and disappeared inside the AT-AT.

Rey smiled to herself. At least, his strange sense of humor was back, and that meant that they survived another storm in their strange relationship. She decided to leave the thoughts of his past behind for a while and concentrate on the further path.

-x-

"We can't use the Millennium Falcon anymore." Rey found Ren fumbling inside the AT-AT, collecting all their food and water supplies. He met her gaze and clarified, "We can't return to Niima and even if we could sneak to the ship, we have run out of fuel and we have nowhere to steal it. Every desert rat in town now knows our faces and clothes."

Rey didn't want to leave an old friend (if a ship could be called a friend) to rust in the desert alone. She opened her mouth to protest, but no words came to her, because, to her annoyance, Ren was right. Even if they could somehow reach the ship without attracting the attention of local bloodhounds, they had no fuel to fly to Kehoo. They had no money to buy it and an attempt to steal the fuel in Niima would most probably lead them to imprisonment and, in future perspective, to death in claws of the First Order. Noticing her disappointment, Ren shook his head.

"I don't like the idea either. Despite the fact that this old garbage is still… a garbage, it is fast garbage. And somehow," he paused for a moment and Rey understood that it must have been some memories flashing through his mind, "...Somehow this ship feels like home." Rey was clever enough not to start a conversation about his childhood and his parents, so she just nodded, trying to come to terms with the thought of abandoning the Falcon. She thought that maybe, when they stop running for a while, she would have a chance to send a signal to Luke and her friends on Atollon, and somebody would fly to Jakku and pick up the ship. She found this thought consoling enough and began to help Ren with packing.

"When we tried to buy weapons from that junk dealer in Niima, you mentioned some place, named Cratertown. Is there a chance to get a fueled-up ship there?" asked Ren. Rey shrugged her shoulders and answered, "We should try, especially since Cratertown is the nearest inhabited place. We can reach it in about eleven hours."

Ren sighed, obviously not pleased with the thought of eleven-hours-long trip on the old speeder and blurted, "I already hate this junkyard planet of yours, little scavenger. There is sand everywhere and I feel like it filled my every orific and now I consist of sand too."

"So pray to your dark gods that we won't stay here forever, or scavenging in the sands would become your occupation too, Lord Ren," she retorted. He snorted and then chuckled, "C'mon, let's hit the road, you, sharp-tongued girl."

-x-

They spent almost all day flying through the desert on the speeder trying to reach Cratertown. The desert was hot and the journey seemed endless. Ren insisted on driving the speeder, and now Rey almost hated him for the fact that her only occupation for hours was watching his broad back right before her nose.

When they got to the place, it was almost night. Already at the entrance to the town, which looked more like a ruined village, a hangar belonging to a local junk dealer became noticeable. The only hope for them was that the hangar was not empty.

They crept to the hangar and Ren cut the lock on the doors with his lightsaber. Apparently, it never came to anyone's mind to rob a local dealer, because for miles around there was no buyer of stolen goods, except the junk dealer himself, so the hangar was not equipped with an alarm system. Looking inside, Rey almost yelped out of joy when she saw the old cargo spaceship standing at the far wall. The model was ancient, covered with a thick layer of dust, and she didn't even know if the ship could fly or if it was equipped with a hyperdrive, but at last they had a hope of leaving this kriffed planet.

They quickly approached the ship and Ren hit the button beside the supposed entrance with his fist. The button succumbed with reluctance, but the ship came to life. The entrance platform sank down with a terrible screech and they ran inside, hoping that this movement was not the agony of a dying old machine. Fortunately, no one had yet tried to shoot them, despite the noise they produced.

Ren shot a look onto the control panel and stated, "The universe is supportive of us today. We have the fuel to leave the orbit and make a hyperspace jump to Kehoo. But we'll need to find fuel there, otherwise, it'd be a one way trip."

"Let's think of it later. Now we need to leave Jakku before someone notices us in the hangar." Rey flopped into the pilot's seat and feverishly began preparing the ship for take-off. By some miracle, the old ruin was still alive. Ren found the coordinates of Kehoo in the on-board computer and clicked his tongue. "There are coordinates of this planet in the navigational computer, but there is no other information. It is situated in the Unknown Regions, so we will have to jump through hyperspace almost blindly, not knowing about asteroids or whatever."

"Apparently we have no other choice," stated Rey. She preferred to deal with problems as they appeared.

Soon, the ship rose above the ground, waggling from side to side like a pregnant bantha cow. Rey thought to herself that the ship was ancient garbage even compared to the Millennium Falcon, but in this situation they were glad to have a ship at all. The ship's engine sounded a little strained, but still it was music for her ears. She looked at Ren and to her surprise there was a bright smile on his face. He noticed her watching him and threw his head back and laughed so freely that she couldn't help but laugh back. They both were dirty and tired, yet it was a happy laugh. He looked so young and reckless that for a moment Rey forgot the terrible things she knew about this man.

"Ready to blow up this hangar?" She heard him shouting through the noise of the engines. _Of course she was ready._

The shields around the ship turned on with a crack and Rey pulled the steering wheel with all her strength. With the rapidity that no one expected from a bulbous cargo ship, it broke through the roof of the hangar and became a bright dot on the night sky of Jakku.

-x-

Rey switched the controls to autopilot and leaned back in her chair, stretching her arms. With her peripheral vision, she noticed that Ren had left his place and headed somewhere into the depths of the ship. Soon the sound of running water indicated that he had decided to take a shower. She decided to give him some privacy and returned to the controls, but suddenly her routine was interrupted.

 _Come here_.

Ben's voice inside her head was deep and seductive. She hesitated, but felt as her body was betraying her.

 _I know you want to_.

His tone contained a demanding note. Rey cautiously followed the direction where he disappeared. Soon she came across a kind of shower cabin, wide enough for two people to fit.

 _Remove your clothes and join me._

Rey followed his order and opened the shower cabin door. A wave of hot steam struck her in the face, so that she even lost her orientation for the moment. Two big hands lifted her from the floor like a feather and dragged her into the world of hot water and soap foam.

He was gentle and careful, washing the dust of the desert from her body. One moment his hands touched her easily, as if she were fragile like glass, the other moment they rubbed her body almost painfully, bringing relief to the tired muscles. She gave herself completely to this feeling of warmth and belonging, allowing herself to surrender at the mercy of his strong fingers. She even did not notice how he undid her buns and soaped her hair, gently massaging the scalp. She felt that the fatigue that had accumulated in the last days left her, being replaced with the sense of peace. Rey stood with her eyes closed and wished that this sensation would never end.

He took her from behind by the wall of the cabin, pressing her body into the covering panels, kissing out the drops of water from her neck and shoulders. She could only moan softly, completely covered by his large body, having no intentions to protest. His skilled fingers caressed her most sensitive place and she balanced at the edge of absolute euphoria. She succumbed completely, her body and soul belonged to him and all their problems, past and future, seemed distant and unimportant.

He lifted her, turning her to face him, and kissed her lips greedily, resting her back against the wall. He sucked her lips and tongue, not interrupting the measured pace of their lovemaking. He supported her under the buttocks, so she crossed her legs behind his back, intending to take his whole length. He intensified the pace and she grabbed the wet hair on his nape, unable to hold back the sensation.

 _Cum for me, my apprentice. Do it for me_.

Ren hadn't called her apprentice for a long time, and there was something forbidden and arousing in this. She moved her lips closer to his ear and whispered, "Yes, my master." He exhaled loudly and she heard as he whispered back, "Call me your master again."

"Yes, master. As you wish, sir." He pressed her into the wall hard, inflamed with her words, and growled something indistinguishable into the crook of her neck. As if it was some kind of a signal her body tensed and then exploded with bright release. Through the euphoria she heard his groan and felt his hot seed filling her.

The release exhausted her completely and she even didn't remember how they got out of the shower and found the small quarters, where fell into deep sleep without dreams.

-x-

Rey was awakened by a strange feeling. Something was wrong and her heart sank from a premonition. She looked at Ben. He was sleeping soundly. She slipped to the floor barefoot and quietly walked into the cockpit. They were still in hyperspace. Rey checked the monitors. The flight was proceeding normally but something still bothered her.

She heard a rustle and turned around. She saw Ben, half dressed, barefoot. He squinted in the bright light of the cabin and raised his hand, protecting his eyes. His hair looked disheveled and it made her smile despite the anxiety.

"Why did you get up?" He mumbled sleepily.

"Bad dreams," she answered, deciding not to explain the details. Ben blinked several times and approached the control panel. His long fingers ran confidently over the buttons, checking the coordinates and fuel levels.

"We are near Kehoo, ready to jump out of hyperspace," he yawned and continued, "I suggest we… BLAST IT!"

Their ship suddenly jumped out of hyperspace and an uncontrollable force threw them onto the control panel. Ren was first to jump onto his feet and rush to the controls. They were blinking red, and this was not a good sign.

"We're flying through an asteroid field! Our shields are about to turn off!" She heard him shouting. The ship was vibrating like a feverish animal. Rey understood that disabled shields inside the asteroid belt meant certain death.

"Rey! Grab the controls! I need you to redistribute energy to the front shields while I'm piloting!" Ren's yells reached her through a strange mist. She lifted her hand to her head and passed it over her skin and hair. It felt wet. Rey looked at her palm and saw that it was covered with blood. She must have hurt her head against the panel, but the wound was not very serious.

Rey reached the controls, fighting nausea, and tried to follow Ren's order. But the shields were malfunctioning and soon turned off with a loud crack. At that very moment a powerful blow shook the ship, again throwing her onto the floor. Through the haze of pain and blood that flooded her eyes, she threw a glance towards Ben. He was pale, but determined, trying to pilot the ship, but without the shields they were doomed. Rey tried to stand up, to help him, but when she lifted her head she saw dozens of asteroids on the screen. The alarms were almost choking, wailing loudly. Ben turned his face to her and she saw anxiety in his eyes. The blood was trickling from his nose (he must have hurt himself too), but he didn't seem to pay any attention to it, trying to keep them alive.

Rey didn't feel the fear. In fact, she felt only the dumb pain inside her head and a strong intention to lie down on the floor and pass out. The thought of surviving the battle on Ialia and then dying inside a sluggish cargo ship with malfunctioning systems was surreal. Ben still was inside the pilot chair, trying to pilot the uncontrollable machine. Somehow, he managed to fasten his belts. She forced herself to crawl to the vibrating co-pilot's seat and dragged herself inside. It was a miracle that Ben had managed to avoid big asteroids so far and their ship still could fly. Ironically, they had every chance of perishing like ordinary people, because it was useless to use the Force. Asteroids were too big to try to move them even by their combined efforts.

Rey focused all her concentration to avoid the flying rocks. If they were on Falcon, it would have been easier to pass the asteroids, but now they were inside a large tincan, which had zero maneuverability and no weapons to blast the rocks. They needed to act synchronically, to be a good team.

She lost a sense of time, feeling the every minute could become the last. The asteroid field seemed to be endless and Rey closed her eyes and tried to calm herself, as she frequently did while training with Ren. _Breathe. Just… Breathe. What do you see?_

It was just another saber training, except they were trapped inside some metal box and their enemies were made of stones. She began to hear Ben's calm voice inside her head. _Or was it Luke's_?

 _Dodge left. Dodge right._ _Fly through the space between two asteroids that are about to collide - imagine that these are two huge crolutes attacking you from both sides._ _Sink down under that big rock. Dodge again. Good..._

Suddenly, the asteroids disappeared from the radars, left somewhere behind. Rey raised her eyes and saw a planet surface that seemed to come out of nowhere. Dozens of asteroids had blocked it from the radars, but now its greenish surface was approaching rapidly. She blinked a few times and released the controls.

"Ben! It's Kehoo! We managed to reach Kehoo!" She felt relief, and started to laugh happily. She turned to Ben, expecting to see his smile, but he was paler than before. He constantly pressed the buttons and rotated the tumblers, but something was wrong. He turned his face to Rey and she understood that they were still in danger.

"One of the asteroids must have damaged the braking systems. We have already entered the gravitational field of the planet." Ren turned his gaze towards the planet surface. Rey froze, unable to avert her gaze from him. They both understood, what that meant - not to have braking systems while being inside the gravitational field.

They were falling down onto the green planet.

* * *

 _ **A/N We are close to revealing of Rey's origins ;)**_


	22. Chapter 22 - The Red Flower

_**A/N So excited about this chapter! And you'll understand why when you read it ;)**_

 _ **Guys, leave the comments, really. For every author it is important to know that somebody reads his creation**_

* * *

 **Chapter 22. The Red Flower**

She was floating in the sea of mumbling voices. Rey remembered the first time she saw Ben… Not Ben, but _Kylo Ren_ in this place, telling her about knowing of the Resistance base.

 _Ben?.. Is it you?.. Is it the Force Bond again?.._

She called to him, hoping to hear a familiar deep voice, but no one answered her.

She lifted her hand towards her eyes and saw that it was almost transparent. Her body did not look like flesh, rather it consisted of swirls of smoke, forming something resembling a human body.

Rey turned her head and noticed that at some distance from her there appeared a blurred silhouette of a tall man. The figure hung in space relaxed and limp, like a puppet without threads. She tried to focus on the figure and, gradually, the image became clearer. The man flinched and raised his head and she understood - it was Ben. He also was a combination of energy flows, but she recognised him immediately. His presence was warm and familiar. In his half-transparent chest she saw a pulsating energy vortex. From the center of this vortex stretched a thin thread leading to Rey's body. She lowered her eyes and saw a similar vortex in the center of her translucent chest. The energies inside both vortexes mixed aggressively, the dark and light energy still co-existing. However, now, the ratio of energy in Ren's chest was almost equal. The vortex was almost … _Grey?_

 _Ben!.._

He didn't turn his head. She saw him, but his shape looked blurred, as if she were watching him through misted glass. But with every second they spent in this strange place, their figures became more defined.

Suddenly, Rey felt coldness enveloping her heart. She understood why they both were here now. Their ship crashed, and now they both were dying inside the burning machine. They needed to return.

 _Ben, please, please, hear me!.. We need to go back!.._

But he didn't answer. To her horror, the pulsation of the vortex in his chest gradually slowed. On the edge of her vision, somewhere very far away Rey noticed other blurred figures. She didn't see them clearly, but Ben obviously did, because he waved his translucent hand to the figures and started to move away.

 _Ben!.. Please hear me!.. Don't go!.._

But he just moved away, slowly, yet confidently. He was leaving her alone in the darkness. Those figures didn't resemble living people. He was dying faster than she was, slowly becoming one with the Force.

She needed to find way back and fight for them both. Rey focused on the thought of return, concentrating her anger and pain.

 _I won't let you leave me, Ben Solo._

 _-x-_

She gave a loud breath and went into a fit of painful coughing. There was a lot of smoke around. Rey opened her eyes and understood that she was lying in the ground, with the burning fragments of the ship scattered everywhere around. With a groan, she got up on her elbows and grabbed herself by the head. The world around was twofold and blurred, and her throat was agonizingly nauseous. Slowly, afraid of losing consciousness, she turned her head and saw him.

He lay face down on the ground, his arms and legs spread ungracefully wide. There was something terribly ugly in this pose, as if his body was an empty shell, devoid of life. Rey turned away and spat blood on the ground, trying to cope with the approaching vomiting. Carefully pulling her legs to her stomach, she was convinced that by some miracle nothing had been badly broken. Overcoming the pain, she crawled to Ben's body and palpated the pulse on his neck. It was very weak, but still existed.

 _Ben!.. Fight!.. Don't die!.._

She tried to reach him through their Force Bond. But he didn't answer to her. She shouted at him, and cried, and gave him a few slaps, but he stayed unconscious. She palpated his pulse again.

To her horror, she couldn't feel it. She leaned her ear against his chest and did not hear the heartbeat. The cold hand of desperation squeezed her heart.

Ben Solo was gone.

-x-

Lightyears away on the hot planet of Atollon, in the hall full of Resistance officers, discussing the future strategy, General Leia Organa suddenly went pale and reeled, clutching her heart. Poe, who stood nearby, even had to pick her up by the shoulders. A rustle of alarm ran through the hall

"General, what's wrong? Are you feeling ill?" The voice of Admiral Akbar sounded concerned.

Dozens of worried eyes observed her.

Leia straightened and wiped off sweat from her forehead. Her eyes were dry, but everybody noticed that a shadow of pain passed across her tired face.

She looked around the room and shook her head.

"It was nothing, thank you. Let us continue our meeting."

-x-

Luke opened his eyes and looked at Eva. The girl was sitting opposite, cross-legged. Her breathing was smooth, her eyes were closed. He watched her silently for a while. Without opening her eyes, she said, "Did you feel it, master? The disturbance in the Force?"

She opened her bright orange eyes and looked into Luke's face. He sat in silence, observing her, and nothing in his figure betrayed his thoughts.

-x-

 _She won't let him die and leave her._

Suddenly this thought reassured her. The panic that raged in Rey's head receded, tears giving their way to cold certainty. Gathering all her strength, and growling with effort, she turned him on his back. His head hung limp on his neck, blood drained from a corner of his lips, but she didn't care. She tore off the shirt on his chest and squeezed her right hand into a fist. She had relied on the Force and other Jedi things for too long. It was time to return to the good old ways of surviving.

Gathering all her rage, she had the strength to punch her fist on Ren's chest.

 _C'mon, you kriffing son of bantha. I haven't let you go, do you hear me?.._

His body stayed limp.

She clenched her hands in a lock and swung even harder.

Suddenly, he inhaled and started breathing. He was still unconscious, so she put her ear to his chest. His heart was beating again and it was the best sound in the world.

She managed to drag him away from the burning remnants of the ship before she blacked out by his side, completely exhausted.

-x-

Rey opened her eyes and observed the wooden ceiling above. For a few blissful minutes nothing bothered her, except for this ceiling of gnarled logs that reminded her of Luke's hut on Ahch To. She observed them lazily, her eyes resting on those warm brownish tones. But soon a buzzing thought woke up inside her mind. _How did she get here?_ She remembered the fall and Ben's death, but other memories were blurred. She lifted herself on elbows, trying to examine the room. It was small and simple, yet cozy. Something green attracted her attention. Still feeling a little dizzy she focused and realised that it was a green plant on a table. A small pale bud was slightly visible from under the coverage of green leaves. Her lightsaber lay near the pot. Rey observed the room again, but found no items that could help her to know where she was now. Her gaze fell upon the flower again. She could swear that the bud had grown a little in those moments when she didn't look at it, but it must have been a game of her imagination.

The door squeaked and Rey tensed, instinctively preparing to defend her life. The door opened slightly, but she did not see the figure behind it and this puzzled her.

"Lower your eyes, my dear."

Rey lowered her gaze and saw that the voice belonged to a small wrinkled old woman. He skin was tan and two green eyes observed Rey with curiosity from under bushy eyebrows. Her long hair was white as snow and collected into a huge tight bun on the top of her head. Her hair was decorated with small metal leaves, which tinkled softly as she tilted her head.

Rey licked her dry lips and asked, "Where am I?" The voice sounded hoarse as if it belonged to someone else.

"On Kehoo. My son found you lying on the ground surrounded by burning scrap. You're lucky to be alive." The woman's voice was soothing and Rey felt a bit more relaxed. Then she thought about Ben, andher face expression must have betrayed her, because the woman smiled and continued, "He is alive - the man you're thinking of. Weak, yet alive. We're taking care of him." A sigh of relief escaped Rey's chest. She tipped back onto the pillows and felt as her strength began to leave her. Her dizziness returned.

The woman walked to the bed and straightened out the blanket. Rey had the strength to nod in gratitude.

"Now rest. You've hurt your head rather badly. Your nausea will pass. Sleep, you're both out of danger." The voice of the woman sounded muffled and distant.

The last thing Rey managed to notice before the strength finally left her, was the swollen red bud among the green leaves.

-x-

Rey got out of the house at sunset, wrapped in a blanket. Standing on the threshold of the house, she looked around gingerly . The house was located on the outskirts of a small village consisting of the same kind of wooden houses. The woman was cultivating the land in the garden behind the house. Seeing Rey, she smiled and straightened, flapping her arms, dirtied with soil. The metal leaves in her hair tinkled.

"I am glad you feel better." The woman beckoned Rey with her hand. "I guess you are hungry and you have dozens of questions. I suggest we combine these two activities." She talked to Rey as if they had known each other for a long time. Rey's stomach made a rumbling sound and she realized that she was really hungry.

A small table was set in the garden. Rey began to systematically destroy food, and the woman just smiled and shook her head, "This I call the appetite." When practically nothing remained on the table, Rey wiped her lips with the back of her hand, looked guiltily at the woman and mumbled, "I'm sorry, I must have behaved very badly."

"Never mind, child." The woman laughed, "Now that physical needs are met, we can finally talk. I will begin. My name is Shigrissa, but people in the village call me Grandma Shi, the herb doctor. What's your name?"

"I am Rey."

Grandma's eyebrows jumped up for a second, but the next moment she smiled again, calmly and serenely, "What brought you to Kehoo, my dear? We had no guests for a very long time."

"Our ship hit the asteroid belt near the planet." Rey decided not to disclose immediately the true reason of their flight to Kehoo. Grandma Shi was still smiling in a friendly way and Rei decided that she had bought into this explanation. "Is there somewhere nearby where it would be possible to find a ship?"

Grandma shook her head and stroked Rey's head with her tiny palm. "My child, let me tell something about Kehoo. On the whole planet there are no inhabited places, except this village. Our ancestors deliberately abandoned all the benefits of technology to live in seclusion. Previously, one who was born on Kehoo, upon reaching adulthood, had the opportunity to visit the big world and decide whether he wanted to leave the community. We had one pilot and one ship, which every year drove young man and woman to Coruscant. After a year in the capital, young people had a choice - to return to the community and forget about the blessings of civilization, or to leave for the big world and break the connection with the community." Grandma's gaze became distant, as if she dipped into memories. "I myself once visited the capital, long ago, in another life. I was a girl then. My friends called me simply Shi. Then the war began and I saw the ugliness of civilization. And I returned to Kehoo, where there was always peace, and never regretted my decision. I became Aunt Shi. Our pilot disappeared with the ship during the war and we remained in isolation. We do not keep ships or fuel, our children no longer fly to the big world, which is full of bloody politics. Nobody bothered us all these years either. Only once, many years ago, when I'd already became Grandma Shi, a ship arrived with a woman on board. She mentioned a girl named Rey." The old lady looked at Rey's face with a sudden piercing gaze of green eyes. "Do you still insist that your ship arrived here by accident?"

Rey gasped.

 _Alesa Bellax. She was the woman on the ship, which arrived on Kehoo many years ago. The woman who probably was her mother._

"Where is she now?" Her own voice seemed alien to her.

"Come. I'll take you to her." Grandma Shi got up from her seat. "But first you need to get dressed."

-x-

Rey followed Grandma along the village road, feeling ridiculous in the long embroidered skirt and jacket that the woman had found in the old chest. They passed several houses. The villagers paid little attention to them. Children played in the courtyards of houses, occasionally running across the road to join the game in the courtyard of another house. Outside the village, Grandma Shi stopped at a turn near the low fence. Rey's heart sank. She realized that they had come to the cemetery.

The old woman confidently maneuvered between the tombstones. Some of them were quite old. Wind and water erased the inscriptions from the stone slabs and it was already impossible to read who exactly found the last haven under these nameless boulders. She stopped in front of one of the tombstones. _Alesa Bellax_ \- was written on it. Over the grave the young tree rustled its leaves, as if recalling that despite grief, life still went on.

Rey dropped to her knees in front of the grave, feeling a sudden loss of strength. All her losses were in vain. Her mother had found her last shelter here on a forgotten planet on the outskirts of the Galaxy.

Rey felt dumb. The tombstone was the only thing her eyes could see. Its shape burned into her mind. The unshed tears choked her, but the pain was too strong to cry it out. Her eyes were burning from those unshed tears and her hands were cold as ice. The person for which she had travelled such a long way, for which she nearly lost Ben, had long ago been given eternal sleep. As if the suffering that she had experienced during her childhood on Jakku was not enough.

"Her ship suffered from a collision with asteroids, exactly like yours," Grandma said softly. "Our pilot knew how to pass this belt, he did it year after year for decades, but he carried this knowledge with him to the grave. Alesa was injured before the collision. She flew to Kehoo, saving her life, but it was already too late. My herbs could not cure her." She put her tiny hand onto Rey's shoulder. "She died with peace. Before she passed, she left me a message for a girl named Rey. I promised to deliver her last words." Shiigrissa took out an old holodisk from the depths of her colorful skirt. The wind moved the petals in her hair and they rang melodically. "Here it is, her message for you. I kept it for all those years."

Rey observed the holodisk. It was all that was left of her past and it was placed in the palm of her hand. "How did you know I'll come for it?" She asked Grandma. The old woman shrugged her shoulders and smiled warmly, "I didn't know, I felt it. Maa told me. Maa is the being that you, invaders from the big world, call the Force. Everything lies in the hands of Maa. And it led you to me." Old woman paused, her gaze fixed on the tomb, deep in thoughts. Then she looked at Rey and touched her hand, "Shall we go visit your friend now, my child? He must have woken up by now."

Rey nodded. Shiigrissa turned around and began to move away with a smooth gait. Rey looked at the grave for the last time and sighed. Her fingers were still clutching the cold circle of the holodisk. She felt that she had to say goodbye. "Farewell ..." She stopped. She did not know if this woman was her mother. "Farewell, Alesa."

Rey turned around and followed Shiigrissa to the village.

 _Farewell, Little Rey_.

For an instant she thought that the warm wind behind her woke a whisper in the leaves of the young tree, but when she turned around everything was mute.

-x-

"Hey…" Ben's whisper was almost inaudible.

"Hey." Rey echoed and squeezed his fingers. He weakly squeezed hers in return.

"You know… Next time we need to think through the route a bit better." He smiled and she felt relief. He lay in bed and his body seemed huge under the blanket. Ben was paler than usual, but not deathly pale. He was still weak, but alive. It would take a long time to recover, especially in the absence of bacta, but the danger was over. He was with her, so they could cope with anything.

"I saw Alesa Bellax." She decided to tell him about cemetry.

"Have you found your answers?" he whispered.

Rey shook her head and took out the holodisk. "Alesa has lain in her grave for many years now. She left me a message on this disk."

"Wanna watch it now?" His whisper became weaker. Rey leaned over and put her lips to his forehead, then answered, "No, not now. I need you to be stronger to watch it together. I am not ready yet." She stroked his cheek, running a finger down his scar. "Now sleep. We'll talk tomorrow."

She stood up, ready to return to Grandma Shi's house. Ren was staying in the house next to hers. When she was almost acrossthe threshold, she was overtaken by the soft murmur of his voice.

"I love you."

Rey smiled and pushed a thought through their Force bond.

 _I know._

And she felt as he smiled back.

-x-

Rey was already lying in bed when Grandma Shi came to her room. She was lazily observing the wooden ceiling again. Grandma brought a small watering can and began to water the flower on the table. Rey's gaze fell upon her skilled hands. Suddenly she noticed a beautiful red flower on a thin stalk sticking out of thickets of green leaves. She realised that it must have been the small pale bud she'd seen in the morning.

"Grandma Shi."

"Yes, my child." The old woman did not take her mind off her occupation.

"Thank you. You saved my life. And Ben's life too. We owe you everything." She felt as blood flushed to her face. Grandmother slyly looked at her and laughed, "Never mind, dear. Now sleep." She reached out to turn off the lamp, but Rey interrupted her, "What is the flower that blooms on the table? It grew so fast."

The hand of the old woman stopped halfway to the switch. She turned and looked Rey straight in the eye. "My-my, you don't know, aren't you?"

"Don't know… What?" Rey felt puzzled.

"Maa's flower blooms only when somebody near it is blessed with child."

* * *

...

 _ **Boom!**_


	23. Chapter 23 - Letter from the past

_**A/N Hi, lovelies, it's me and I hope you haven't forgotten me yet. I know updates are taking ages, but when you have a story which is close to 100k symbols it becomes rather difficult to sit and write. Nevertheless, the update is here and I hope you'll forgive me for the long wait.**_

* * *

 **Chapter 23. Letter from the past**

"Are you ready? If you are not ready yet, it is not necessary to do it right now." Ben's voice sounded concerned.

They sat on the bed, legs crossed, and between them lay a holodisk. He had recovered rather quickly, and now only the bandage on his hand reminded her of the accident. Time flew fast, and she thought that they have already spent several weeks in the village. Despite the kind attitude of the residents, Rey felt trapped. The people of Kehoo really did not use any achievements of technology. No droids, no ships, no speeders. Probably, once upon a time all people lived like this somewhere in the cradle of humanity, before interplanetary travelling became possible. The lack of the ability to find a ship or even send a signal to the Resistance reduced their chances of leaving the planet to zero.

She peered into Ben's face for some time and thought about the new life that was developing in her womb. For all the time they spent on Kehoo, she never had the courage to tell him about the baby. The thought that they were to become parents frightened her to a shudder. What kind of parents could they be - the scavenger who never knew mother's love, and the man who killed his own father? She decided to drive the thoughts of child to the depths of her mind and to focus for a while on more pressing issues.

Rey reached out and pressed the disc button. A woman's figure appeared over the surface. Rey's heart began to beat faster when she saw that the woman's hair was collected into three buns, just like her own. The woman straightened up and looked somewhere through Rey's face. Rey felt shivers coming down her spine because the figure above the holodisc was almost an exact copy of herself. The similarity was almost frightening. Rey looked at the holoprojection in a strange stupor. _Was that ... her mother?_ Alesa looked some years older than Rey was now, but she was still very young.

Finally, Alesa Bellax began to speak.

 _My little Rey,_

 _I do not know if we'll ever see each other again. I just hope that when the time comes, you will see this message. I ask you to forgive me for everything._

 _I hope that my story will help you to understand who you are._

Alesa paused and coughed a few times, as if she collected her thoughts together, and continued.

 _My memories began when I opened my eyes in the strange place. It was a system of interconnected rooms, without windows and doors, without any connection to the outside world. Most of all it resembled some strange prison, if not for one circumstance - all rooms were filled with incubators. And each incubator contained a human baby._

 _Scraps of the memories I was left with did not give me any clue for the situation I found myself in. I will not dwell for a long time on how I tried to understand what happened. My only company was the voice from the loudspeaker on the wall, who began to give me instructions soon after my awakening, but seemed to pay no attention to my questions. I had no choice but to follow these instructions. And no choice but to start my life anew in this place._

 _At first, I did not understand why was I needed at all, because soon I discovered that there were three medical droids which were quite capable of taking care of the babies. After several days of work, I realized that all the children were clones. All girls. At a certain point in life, infants were injected with some substance. None of them survived the injection. Why they were obliged to die in such young age? I had no one to ask questions. All droids were disconnected from talking, so my world was filled with silence and loneliness. Clones were dying and replaced with new ones, who also died in turn. Over time, I began to feel that the world consisted only of incubators and clones and there was nothing but this silent place. At times, I had vivid dreams about my old life - at least I thought so, although I could not remember a single dream. But when I opened my eyes, the picture was always the same - incubators, clones and droids._

 _Now, when I am out of there, I know that this place was something like a drifting space station. But then I had no clue of my whereabouts. The walls of the station were smooth, like an egg shell. However, one day I found a door in the wall. It was locked. So over time, I forgot about it, drowning in the everyday routine._

 _But there came the day when my lonely days ended. One clone survived after the injection. And my life was filled with meaning from that moment._

 _I gave this clone a name._

 _Rey._

Alexa smiled to her memories and continued:

 _The voice from the loudspeaker was not stupid. Droids could maintain the incubators but could not raise up a human child. When it was finally clear that you survived the injection and would continue to develop normally, the strange door opened and I found a room full of necessary things for a child's growth. Time began to fly faster. I raised you as my own child, but we were still locked up. Nobody visited us, the new surviving clones did not appear any more. You grew up as a child who had never seen sunlight or green grass._

 _I swore that I would get us out of this strange place, where we were imprisoned for incomprehensible crimes. I started to watch the droids. They were not in the hatchery all the time - they appeared and disappeared. That meant that there was an exit from our prison._

 _I managed to change the program of one of the droids by directly connecting to its electrical circuit. It allowed us to follow it out of the hatchery. It turned out that it was part of a drifting station. There were no spaceships on it, but there were life-saving capsules. Why they were needed on a drifting station, populated by droids and babies remained unknown, but these capsules saved us._

 _After several days of drifting free in outer space, we were picked up by a commercial cruiser. We pretended to be refugees from some distant world, destroyed by war, so they dropped us on the nearest neutral planet, called Jakku._

Alesa smiled, but her tone became bitter.

 _I was a fool, thinking that nobody will find us. I underestimated the force, which stood behind the organisation of the clone factory._

 _We could not live on the planet without a minimal registration, so I had to register us at the local office, which looked more like a stable. And a week after, they came for us. I saw two people whose faces were hidden under the hoods, showing my holoprojection in a tavern near the market. All that I managed to do after that was to hand you over to Unkar Plutt and try to distract their attention. Near Niima, some smugglers' ship landed due to the fuel shortage. I hijacked it and another ship took off from the planet surface and followed me. They thought that I was taking you away and that saved your life. You remained just one of the dirty hungry children hanging around near Niima market._

Alesa's projection turned away for a moment, as if she was examining the monitors on the control panel. When she turned back her face looked concerned.

 _I hoped that I'd managed to leave them behind, but they've tracked me even through hyperspace. My computer says that there is an asteroid belt nearby, so I'll try to switch off all my electronics and hide there._

She looked back nervously again, then continued.

 _I am recording this message in case everything goes wrong and we don't see each other again. Unkar Plutt knows nothing, he just thinks that they are after my head for some crime and he is too stupid to realize that they want you, not me._

The image faltered and Alesa swayed as if the earth was dropping out from under her feet.

 _I must go now, my shields won't last long against their cannons. Goodbye, little Rey._

 _I hope we will see each other soon._

The message ended abruptly.

"And she didn't make it. She died, trying to protect me from the ones chasing me, and I didn't even remember her." Rey's voice sounded hollow.

"Don't blame yourself, you were a child when all this happened." Ben's tone was soothing, but it was not enough for her. Rey stood up and quickly left the room. It seemed to her that suddenly there was not enough air in the house.

It was early morning and Rey shivered from the cold. The landscape of the village was still calm and peaceful yet she suddenly wanted to scream. To scream because of the injustice of the universe, because of the pain of old wounds awakened by a message from a long-ago past, because of the fear of the future. She clenched her fists painfully and closed her eyes, breathing loudly.

 _A survived clone, the fruit of someone's evil genius_. _Life created without love, only by calculation._ Back on Jakku, when she was especially lonely and hungry, she used to curl up in her little bed inside the old war machine and dream that she was a lost princess of some distant country and soon her parents would come for her and take her to a place where she would be important. Those thoughts gave her strength and even now, being an adult, she secretly hoped that her life was valuable and that there was a reason for all her sufferings. But now she was _a clone,_ one of thousands, simply lucky to survive some medical invasion. She raised her hand and bit her knuckles to hold back the tears.

She heard a rustle from behind and a large hand was laid cautiously on her shoulder. Ben rarely left the house, being still weak, but now he was too concerned to leave her alone. He remained silent and she was grateful for it, because no words could help her at the moment. She had to relive the loss of the person who once replaced her mother, and reconcile herself with her origins.

 _You know that you ARE valuable for me._

His soft whisper through the bond made her smile bitterly. He tried to be sweet. She turned towards him and rested her head against his broad chest, her eyes closed. Suddenly, the burden of secrets she kept within became unbearable.

"Ben, we are going to have a baby."

The hands that were stroking her shoulders, stopped. He gasped, as if somebody had hit him in the stomach. She stood, face buried in his chest, afraid to raise her eyes and see his face. _Was he angry? Disappointed? Confused?_

"... Are you sure?" he asked hoarsely.

Rey nodded, still unable to look into his eyes. She haven't had her usual periods for a quite long time. Maa's flower was not mistaken.

Ben groaned and muttered, "I am such a fool. My contraception implant… They must have extracted it when I needed major medical assistance after being wounded on Starkiller and they did not put a new one." His tone sounded embarrassed, but not angry.

"What should we do about it?" whispered Rey. Finally, she raised her eyes, seeking answers and approval on his face. He seemed shocked and confused by her confession, but his hands still were on her shoulders and he seemed to have no intent to back off. Ben paused for a moment and then coughed for a few times, collecting his thoughts together. "Honestly, my love, I never thought of becoming a father."

"You don't want this child." Rey tried to sound calm, but her heart sank from the thought. Ben stroked her arms reassuringly, gradually overcoming the first shock and gaining control over himself: "It is not a question for _me_ , Rey. Do _you_ want to have a child, whose father is a murderer, a sinner, that I am? You know everything about me. You know that the Resistance and the First Order will hunt me forever, and if we are ever able to leave Kehoo, our child will be obliged to live a vagabond life. Besides that, I never meant to tie you to myself..."

"Enough!.." Rey felt burning rage, developing inside her chest. She jerked her shoulders, throwing off his hands. "Ben Solo, don't try to to start talking about the fact that someday I will want to leave you. I saw you whole and I'm not afraid of your past. Tell me directly, will you love this child? You know that this is the only thing that is important. If you're not ready, if you want to run away - say it bluntly, like a man!" She felt that she was talking hormones rather than reason, but rage eclipsed everything.

Ben winced, as if she had hit him. A familiar flicker of anger flashed in his eyes, but he suppressed it. When he began to speak his voice contained unexpected tenderness, "Of course I will love our child. Nothing will make me happier than having your baby. I will protect you both till the last drop of my blood, if it is needed. I just don't want you to feel under pressure."

"Your love is enough both for me and our child." said Rey. She felt ashamed for her outburst, so she stretched out her arms to him, "Hold me for a while." He wrapped his long arms around her from the back and she closed her eyes, listening to their Force bond. He felt truly happy. It was a cautious, secret happiness that he tried to hide far away in the depths of his soul, but she felt how it was warming him from the inside. She sensed that he was even a bit afraid of this happiness, understanding its fragility.

They stood in silence for a while, watching the morning sun rising above the trees. Ben held her tighter, as if by accident putting a hand on her belly. "Do you feel bad about Alesa's message?" he asked.

"Yes… And no at the same time. I am who I am. Being a survived clone is better than not existing at all." Rey tried to sound careless.

"We still don't know who stood behind the clone factory and what was the substance, injected to all clones, which made them die." Ben pointed out. Rey shrugged her shoulders, "I think we'll never know it. And even if we could, what for? Alesa is dead, my father never existed - it is time to live beyond that." She turned her head and looked up at him. "Maybe the fact that we landed on Kehoo is not so bad. At least, it is a better place to have a baby than the chambers of the First Order or a Resistance base."

Ben kissed her temple and stated, "So, we need at least to find a job here. We've used enough of the local people's hospitality."

Rey looked him over from head to foot and giggled, "My-my, look at Lord Ren, scary and menacing, intending to work as a local farmer."

He snorted, slightly offended by her mockery, "Despite your opinion of me, I have never been afraid to work with my hands. I can become a local smith or carpenter. I do not think it's more difficult than repairing a ship."

"Just imagine, we are going to have a real family." Rey's voice trembled from emotion.

"Yes, sweetheart, we will. And now go inside, or our child will suppose that you are intending to freeze her." Now Ben was mocking.

"Her? Why do you think it's a girl?"

He smiled and answered nothing.

-x-

They began to live a quiet life in the village. Soon, when Ben recovered, they moved to a free house In the neighborhood with Grandma Shi. He found a job as a blacksmith and it fit him. He forbid Rey to come to his forge, referring to the fact that she might feel sick from the heat, but sometimes when he was immersed into his job, she peeked throgth the hole between the logs of which the forge was built. He usually worked bare chested and there was something darkside in the movement of muscles beneath his skin soiled with soot when he was pulling out a piece of red-hot metal from the crucible with forceps and threw it into the cold water with loud hiss. The forge was his personal battlefield. He beat and bent metal, turning it into absolutely peaceful things - plows and axes, shovels and fences for kitchen gardens.

Rey began to help Grandma Shi with herbs and visiting the sick in the village, so her days were also full of meaning. The war was gradually becoming a distant memory and her thoughts less and less often returned to the Resistance and her friends. The villagers easily accepted them into their narrow circle. Nobody asked them about the past.

Their life was so _normal_ , that it seemed a dream.

She kissed Ben hard and almost sobbed when one day he proudly brought home a self-made cradle for the baby.

-х-

Rey walked along the path through the thickets, cheerfully swinging a basket for berries. Her rounded belly had already become slightly visible under her loose shirt. She murmured to herself a song without words and kicked the small stones that came across her on the way.

Everything around was quiet.

Too quiet.

She daydreamed and did not notice how she didn't notice someone in her path until she crashed into him.

It must have been one of the villagers.

"I'm so sorry…" Rey raised her eyes and the words froze on her lips. The man held her by the shoulders tightly. Then he raised one of his hands and put the lock of hair behind her ear, almost gently. Rey felt a drop of sweat running down her back.

"Well, well, guess who we have got here. A _scavenger_."

The spark of triumph flashed in Hux's watery blue eyes .

Rey felt pain from the injection in the neck. The last thing that her eyes had saw before closing was the glare of the sun on the shiny white armor of dozens of stormtroopers.


End file.
